Why he sleep in my bed?

I've got a great friendship with a Cap, scorpio moon, sag rising. I'm Taurus, Libra Moon, Scorp rising.... We've been hanging out for a year. He became my friend, my feelings grew, we spoke about our connection but that he was having a hard time get
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  • Posted by DeadInside
    maybe that bed is really comfy


    Course it is. I'm a โ™‰ dur.
  • Timon
    โ™Ž
    female
    Posted by DeadInside
    maybe that bed is really comfy


    ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚
  • DeadInside
    they'll bend the knee
    maybe that bed is really comfy
  • Thanks all for your comments. This has been out of character for his usual passive (and quite closed) demeanour. I'm kind of glad he's revealed this side of himself, the mask has slipped and has convinced me I wasn't imagining this connection. And that he was playing games with me.
  • Scorpio moon commit deeply, could be some aquarius placement in the chart keep distance, emotional struggle
  • Caplove
    female
    The whole sleeping in your bed is odd. Did you invite him to sleep there? If a hot man is in my bed, then he'd better be prepared to be sexually harassed otherwise, get the hell out.

    Anyway, that doesn't really matter anymore.

    He probably felt bad about the whole thing and wanted to assuage his guilt so he latched onto that message and made it about him when it wasn't. So tag, you're now the crazy one. lol. j/k

    You don't need to do anything else at this point. Just let him work it out on his own, especially if you already told him it was not about him. Silence will do its job.



  • Posted by handsupwholikesme
    UPDATE

    We had a fall out. I asked him not to contact me because turns out he didn't see me that way...the mixed signal mind games had to end. I questioned my intuition about it all. Had I imagined him initiating contact time, sleeping in my bed, being in touch all-the-time as us possibly sliding into a relationship?! Yes. It appears I had when he affirmed that we were friends only.

    I asked him to leave me alone, I couldn't handle being his illusional female companion without any of the hassle. And I was in love with him.

    He left me alone. We met recently in a group dynamic, the connection is still strong (according to my head), and he didn't sleep in my bed when the party carried on back at mine. The boundaries had been recognised.

    Cut to 3 weeks of incommunicado. I received the most horrendous message from him, which is very out of character, accussing me of being childish over a FB post that had nothing to do with him. Seems he's translated the message as me having a go at him. When I professed that I didn't understand, and that it wasn't about him, he ignored me. I then fought fire with fire (my mistake) telling him to get over it and how dare he send me paranoid nasty nonsense that I didn't deserve. He replied that he wanted me to not contact him because he was clearly such a c**t of a friend. I'm baffled.

    One friend suggested he was feeling guilty over the way he treated me and is in fact deflecting it back to me to absolve the blame. Another said that when I asked him not to contact me he had lost the power I gave him when he was elevated in my affections. This is his way of getting it back, leaving me confused and on the back foot.

    I AM so confused. He's either having a episode, or his mask has slipped. Was I right? He was playing me for his own self esteem issues? Despite his denials?

    I understand I can't include the entire context of our interaction but now after weeks of not speaking, he's picking bones in something I said, believing it to be about him, when regardless of my affirmations that it isn't, he's choosing to ignore.

    W the actual F?!

    Is this a narcissist? Is he ill?



    >>>>>>>>>

    I've got a great friendship with a Cap, scorpio moon, sag rising.

    I'm Taurus, Libra Moon, Scorp rising....

    We've been hanging out for a year. He became my friend, my feelings grew, we spoke about our connection but that he was having a hard time getting over his fiancee from 7 years ago!!! It didn't progress, though we became intimate a while back. Fuelled by hedonism of course. We've had further relations but we're not in a relationship. My friend refer to him as my boyfriend not boyfriend.

    Our connection and the fact he doesn't leave me alone given he knows how I feel about him confuses me.

    Many many times he sleeps over at mine, in my bed, fully clothed in a rigormortis state. I hug him. He never objects to me touching him. To clarify it's just hugging, not me wanting to get to grips with his special place...though I would if there was reciprocation....

    Clearly he's emotionally unavailable. But the sleeping over feels odd.

    It's almost as if he wants me in part (frequent communication, outings etc...) but isn't giving it to me.

    He has a lot going on mentally...but why would you sleep in my bed on more than 10 occasions, allow someone to hold you, see them all the time but yet not want to pursue anything.

    It just doesn't make sense......

    Has anyone been in this predicament?

    What the hell!


  • Posted by Gob_buttere
    Boundaries, you silly moo.

    Being subservient, in the hope that he'll eventually see things your way isn't the way to go...


    common sense butter no?
  • intergalacticplanetary
    born again
    female
    Do you have a couch?
    Is he too pissed to drive?
    Something not adding up here..
  • Maybe they are actually into the opposite sex of what you are.
  • anna1
    "Aries Sun,Capricorn asc,Capricorn moon,"
    28 years old female

    The user who posted this message has hidden it.

  • Leoguy8
    Leo Sun, Scorpio Moon, Virgo Rising, Virgo Venus, Cancer Mars
    Typical Cap with a Scorp moon
  • LadyNeptune
    ๐ŸŒต๐Ÿ‹๐ŸŒฟ
    Posted by handsupwholikesme
    Posted by hippiecrite
    Sounds selfish. Maybe the bigger question is why youโ€™re putting up with it. I mean, am I missing something? You say you have a great friendship, but is it as one sided as your sleeping arrangements?


    I guess I put up with it cos I like it. And as much as it'd be lovely to be hugged back and I know this is what I deserve, I chose to relocate as I wasn't prepared to wait for him. Not that he asked.

    Our friendship isn't one sided though. He initiates hanging out a lot. Hence my confusion.

    But now I've given him the space to sort himself out and I guess I'll have to wait to see how it pans out...

    He's never been one for communicating his feelings though.

    click to expand


    Sounds like you stuck in the friendzone hoping for more. Start dating other people. Unless your cool with giving him the next few years of your life while you wait around hoping.
  • Posted by handsupwholikesme
    Posted by hippiecrite
    Sounds selfish. Maybe the bigger question is why youโ€™re putting up with it. I mean, am I missing something? You say you have a great friendship, but is it as one sided as your sleeping arrangements?


    I guess I put up with it cos I like it. And as much as it'd be lovely to be hugged back and I know this is what I deserve, I chose to relocate as I wasn't prepared to wait for him. Not that he asked.

    Our friendship isn't one sided though. He initiates hanging out a lot. Hence my confusion.

    But now I've given him the space to sort himself out and I guess I'll have to wait to see how it pans out...

    He's never been one for communicating his feelings though.

    click to expand


    So youโ€™re relocating but he isnโ€™t? Why would he want to start something just to have you leave? Hmmm exactly the situatuon with my bf.
  • LadyNeptune
    ๐ŸŒต๐Ÿ‹๐ŸŒฟ
    Posted by handsupwholikesme
    He has a lot going on mentally...but why would you sleep in my bed on more than 10 occasions, allow someone to hold you, see them all the time but yet not want to pursue anything.


    He does it cause you allow it.

    There are many reasons why he might not want to treetrunk you. Doesn't want to ruin the friendship. Plays for the other team. Doesn't find you attractive or relationship material. Has a don't butter where you eat mentality. Etc. etc.

    If it bothers you then stop inviting him into your bed and then crying about "so confused" later.

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