Marriage

Hi gems... i have a situation. I've been seeing an aqua guy on and off for 4 years. Of course I love him deeply and he is one of the few people I really can connect to. I'm almost 29, with almost all my friends being married, having kids or at least p
Who the treetrunk cares
Posted by Geminiforever23


With everyone asking me when I'm gonna settledown, I opened up the topic with my aqua man. He said he never wanted to have more kids and doesnt want to get married ever because he thinks marriage is crap since his parents were divorced and he is separated.


Move on. Dont dwell and hope you will change a man. He already made his decision. respect it, but have self-respect more and get out of the relationship who has no future whatsoever.

Posted by notsosure
Posted by Geminiforever23
Posted by notsosure
I didn't read through the entire thing, but especially your last post says a lot to me.
When you have to spend the majority of your relationship wondering how he feels about you and what he wants, when you have to put vast amounts of energy into convincing yourself that he really does want you, and spend so much energy on making yourself feel secure and good, then something is not right.
It is not a velfunctioning relationship, and here I mean anything type of relationship. They are not supposed to make you feel this way, and rarely do we stay in them unless it is about love and a future. For some reason many of us, especially women, just loose all logical sense when it comes to this.
I am not meaning to be mean or cruel when saying this. I just think you really really need to look deep into yourself and think about why you are not letting this go. Many times it is the feeling of defeat, that we refuse to accept. Trying to force something, that's just not.... there.
Good luck.


I did let go... we havent really talked a lot this week to give space to each other and re-think our direction. You are correct that it is not good to wonder if we are in the same page all the time so I decided to stop the cycle and gave him an ultimatum... either he is in it or not. I guess I grew tired of the cycle and really want to be sure if its for long term or not.. its not easy but it had to be done.


Well I think you should feel really proud of yourself!! You have chosen yourself and your own dreams for your life!
It's an accomplishment 90 % of the women in here could learn from. Hope you stick with you, regardless of what he says. And if he says now, that he needs more time, I hope you don't get sucked into waiting around any longer. Chose you 😊
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Its tough. I want him to choose me. Choose me over his fears. Over himself... its wednesday... its normally our date night and the thought is creeping out on me. I feel sad right now....
Posted by notsosure
I didn't read through the entire thing, but especially your last post says a lot to me.
When you have to spend the majority of your relationship wondering how he feels about you and what he wants, when you have to put vast amounts of energy into convincing yourself that he really does want you, and spend so much energy on making yourself feel secure and good, then something is not right.
It is not a velfunctioning relationship, and here I mean anything type of relationship. They are not supposed to make you feel this way, and rarely do we stay in them unless it is about love and a future. For some reason many of us, especially women, just loose all logical sense when it comes to this.
I am not meaning to be mean or cruel when saying this. I just think you really really need to look deep into yourself and think about why you are not letting this go. Many times it is the feeling of defeat, that we refuse to accept. Trying to force something, that's just not.... there.
Good luck.


I did let go... we havent really talked a lot this week to give space to each other and re-think our direction. You are correct that it is not good to wonder if we are in the same page all the time so I decided to stop the cycle and gave him an ultimatum... either he is in it or not. I guess I grew tired of the cycle and really want to be sure if its for long term or not.. its not easy but it had to be done.
Posted by aquarius_beauty
Posted by Geminiforever23


Well, I listen to him and asked him to talk to me of he ever feels sad. Sometimes he opens up. But he is a man. He likes to deal with things on his own....


true. i like to do that now. don't like anyone dealing with my butter. because either way i'm going to do what i want to do and i don't want people getting in my way. well i mean open up in the sense of what he wants with you. where it's leading.
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Thats what I want him to do. I want to know if he pictures us growing old together. With grey hair and all... if im still the one he wants to spend wednesday evenings with of wakeup next to on weekends..... i love the feeling i get in his arms but i am scared that one day I will lose it... whenever I feel safe, the fact that he isnt divorced, we dont have a kid or live together creeps up on me and make me want to take back all the feelings i have because I am not sure who i am to him (apart from being his girlfriend)
Posted by clippityclop
Posted by Geminiforever23
Posted by clippityclop
I was with an aqua for six years that i dated on and off who didn't believe in marriage.. i don't think you'll ever change his mind. And the relationship itself is immature if its on and off. You dont want to have kids and be married to someone you have a relationship like that with!


My mom being a practical scorp said the same thing. But as a gem.... an aqua like him is one of the few people who can ride my waves. Thats why it was difficult for me to let go..... too stable and I will get bored. Too messy and I will get tired. Not enough space and I will become furious wanting to be released. How I wish I can be a practical person too... but it's very difficult with the kond of personality I have. and well, i dont want to change his mind... i just want him to be open to the idea. He is stubborn so he will say no... like everytime I push for something. It took me 2 years to convince him that its worth it if we set at least one day when we come home early and spend time together. Initially, he thought he didnt like it because its too planned. Its not spontaneous. But he ended up enjoying it and sometimes even reminding me that it's date night and if we can have pizza. I dont know if he will come back or if he will ever realize my worth. But I do hope he will start missing a good laugh with me or the fact that I made him do things he wont just because he is doing if with me like date night or taking other airlines apart from british airways or doing parasailing even if he is scared of heights....

Well I was the same way. I thought that I would just get bored if I had a normal relationship. So I convinced myself that this was the type of relationship I needed to keep me lively and to also have a good connection with someone. Wrong. It tore me apart. My confidence is crap and I just felt used and abused. I met someone who does treat me really well and any time I start to feel bored.. I just remember those really dark times. And then I feel grateful for having someone so nice. There are ways to keep yourself entertained in a stable relationship, too. You're worth it. You just have to believe it.
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I guess when this feeling is over, I will truly understand what you mean. I guess I am blinded by my feelings for him. I read something inline that says " She believes in truel love but she has moments that she wonders if love truly believes in her"
Posted by Geminiforever23
Posted by clippityclop
I was with an aqua for six years that i dated on and off who didn't believe in marriage.. i don't think you'll ever change his mind. And the relationship itself is immature if its on and off. You dont want to have kids and be married to someone you have a relationship like that with!


My mom being a practical scorp said the same thing. But as a gem.... an aqua like him is one of the few people who can ride my waves. Thats why it was difficult for me to let go..... too stable and I will get bored. Too messy and I will get tired. Not enough space and I will become furious wanting to be released. How I wish I can be a practical person too... but it's very difficult with the kond of personality I have. and well, i dont want to change his mind... i just want him to be open to the idea. He is stubborn so he will say no... like everytime I push for something. It took me 2 years to convince him that its worth it if we set at least one day when we come home early and spend time together. Initially, he thought he didnt like it because its too planned. Its not spontaneous. But he ended up enjoying it and sometimes even reminding me that it's date night and if we can have pizza. I dont know if he will come back or if he will ever realize my worth. But I do hope he will start missing a good laugh with me or the fact that I made him do things he wont just because he is doing if with me like date night or taking other airlines apart from british airways or doing parasailing even if he is scared of heights....
click to expand

Well I was the same way. I thought that I would just get bored if I had a normal relationship. So I convinced myself that this was the type of relationship I needed to keep me lively and to also have a good connection with someone. Wrong. It tore me apart. My confidence is crap and I just felt used and abused. I met someone who does treat me really well and any time I start to feel bored.. I just remember those really dark times. And then I feel grateful for having someone so nice. There are ways to keep yourself entertained in a stable relationship, too. You're worth it. You just have to believe it.
Posted by clippityclop
I was with an aqua for six years that i dated on and off who didn't believe in marriage.. i don't think you'll ever change his mind. And the relationship itself is immature if its on and off. You dont want to have kids and be married to someone you have a relationship like that with!


My mom being a practical scorp said the same thing. But as a gem.... an aqua like him is one of the few people who can ride my waves. Thats why it was difficult for me to let go..... too stable and I will get bored. Too messy and I will get tired. Not enough space and I will become furious wanting to be released. How I wish I can be a practical person too... but it's very difficult with the kond of personality I have. and well, i dont want to change his mind... i just want him to be open to the idea. He is stubborn so he will say no... like everytime I push for something. It took me 2 years to convince him that its worth it if we set at least one day when we come home early and spend time together. Initially, he thought he didnt like it because its too planned. Its not spontaneous. But he ended up enjoying it and sometimes even reminding me that it's date night and if we can have pizza. I dont know if he will come back or if he will ever realize my worth. But I do hope he will start missing a good laugh with me or the fact that I made him do things he wont just because he is doing if with me like date night or taking other airlines apart from british airways or doing parasailing even if he is scared of heights....
I was with an aqua for six years that i dated on and off who didn't believe in marriage.. i don't think you'll ever change his mind. And the relationship itself is immature if its on and off. You dont want to have kids and be married to someone you have a relationship like that with!
Posted by aquarius_beauty
Posted by Geminiforever23
Posted by aquarius_beauty
Posted by Geminiforever23
Posted by aquarius_beauty
I may not be a Gemini but I am a Gemini moonie with Aqua sun. And I feel I can relate on both parts.

Like someone else said....
Screw the other people. I know it's so easy to feel like you're being left behind. But honestly why rush into something that will not work out in the end? Take your time don't rush into marriage and kids with an individual who might not be the right one.

As for the Aqua. He's stubborn, we're stubborn. We have FIXED ideas and those ideas are sometimes stupid...sorry fellow Aquas but we sometimes have this ideal. I'm currently going through that right now with my 'breakup'. Thing is I didn't want to get re-married or have kids in the future. I would always say to myself that I was never going to do both when I left my Aries. The Leo in my life changed my perspective and my views on what I wanted. Now, I feel like I will do that and even more! It just takes one person to change our perspectives without pressuring us.

As for you. you're letting your anxiety get the best of you. letting others influence your thoughts. be more assertive in what you want and be less fickle. don't pressure this Aqua. I know it hurts. But you need to sit down and talk about it. Tell him what you want, what you wish to have, and that you'd love to share that with him. But, if he doesn't wish to, tell him you'll respect his wishes and that unfortunately you have to move on. If needed be tell him you'll give him time to think about it. Give him a time frame and that you'll reach out till then. (give him like 2-3 months) but go NC on him. Don't call/text him. Let him come to you and if he does then tell him that you wish to give him that time frame to really think things through. If he's completely sure of his decision then he's going to need to follow through.

Don't be afraid to be assertive. Sometimes we need to walk away from their lives in order for them to learn to appreciate us.

Good luck love!


Thank you for this. I do want to sit down and talk to him about it. I love him truly. Thats why i was asking for this. If i dont see myself settling down with this man, I wouldve just let things happen. I am a gemini and its going to be a sacrifice for my part as well, tying myself down. This is something that i think he doesnt understand. I am also impatient and if we are seeing ourselves spending our lives together, why wait? I know deep inside that we had something real. i want to give him a family that he didnt have... i am a strong woman and I know i can make him happy... but him thinking he cannot give me what i want out of fear is something i worry about... he doesnt trust how strong our love is for each other.


It could be his insecurities. Or maybe he's not there at the level you are. But you won't know unless you speak to him about it. Don't be afraid to love. I know it's frightening to lay out your feelings only to have your feelings fall flat because it's not what we want to hear. It's that fear. That uncertainty. You're probably struggling with bringing it up because you're afraid you might lose him so you settle for this type of scenario. But it's worse to live like this because you're unhappy. Once you let it all out and lay it out you will feel better. Because at least you can walk away with saying I did this. No regrets. You didn't accept it. Well now it's on your court.


One time he got drunk and made his mom cry infront of me. Blaming her for the split of his parents. For reasons he wont tell me or his sister. His dad remarried... i wish he would give himself the chance to do that too... with me. But yes, the question is if he loves me enough to consider being with me.... if not then i think it will be the end of us. I want to know because i dont want to invest all i have as well only to realize later on that i will lose him because he doesnt love me as much as i love him. It is scary on my part too. Im 28 and he is 15 years older and I have to make life decisions....


Oh wow. Well you need to be clear and get this resolved. He isn't a young man so he needs to get his butter together
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Well, I listen to him and asked him to talk to me of he ever feels sad. Sometimes he opens up. But he is a man. He likes to deal with things on his own....
Posted by aquanib
Posted by Geminiforever23
Posted by aquanib
Posted by Geminiforever23
Posted by aquanib
Posted by Geminiforever23


When he texted me, he said that it wasnt me that he didnt want. That he is very sad and depressed now and doesnt know what to think because of the ultimatum i gave him. I told him i love him and i always will but i cannot spend the rest of my life not knowing who i am in his life or if he even wants to grow old with me.

I love him still. I know that for sure... it is a very sad phase. But i will not take him back until he "puts a ring on it" or tells me that we will have a kid/family of our own. It is very important to me that we have a future, a direction. Our cycle is exhausting if we have nothing to look forward to as a couple.


You did good little one. If he loves you, what you laid out for him will be clawing at him from the inside now for a while until he realizes what he let go of. And it will only get worse until its too much and he comes crawling back with a baby crib in the trunk of the car.

Anyhow creampies for you. Soon! Enjoy!





I told him i didnt want him to get depressed and we can talk about it when he is not drunk. He said that he didnt drink since saturday as he is really carefully thinking about things. He also said that I gave him an ultimatum (he just cannot get over the ultimatum part and kept repeating it to me). I told him that what I wanted him to do was be open to the idea. I didnt say get me pregnant now. I said that i wanted him to be open because time will come that I will be really determined to get pregnant or have a family and we will be back i the same stage if we wont do anything about it now. I did say I love him but I cant wait forever for him to decide who I am in his life or if I even matter... then he just responded by saying he is busy. Oh well. Reactions like this makes me think he doesnt give a treetrunk so I just decided i dont give a treetrunk to. Sometimes he can be quite cold I can never tell how he feels....


Imo he is in slight shock lol. Over the fact someone dared issue an ultimatum to him, but even more so that his first instinct/reaction upon hearing it wasn't to tell you to treetrunk off.
Inside of him there was probably something like this "who the treetrunk are you to be giving out ultimatums, who do you think you are, do you really think you have so much power over me".....

but, he didn't, so that's a good sign. Ideally, he has now retreated to process the fact that you really are something in his life and to make room for you, amend life plans that would now include you. But that's at the end, he's probably just bitter and feeling miserable now over the looming loss of freedom.....

#disclaimer: this is largely based on my own experience....it might not be what really happens, for example, i only now read he seems to have an alcohol issue. Are you sure you want to go down that road?
If he does have a problem and he knows you'll want him to resolve it before getting properly with you, part of that processing i mentioned above will include him comparing you against alcohol/party life (i he is a stay at home drunk, that's even more sad).
Trust me on this, the rigors of letting go of the "high" will be weighed against the pros of getting with you. This is a so-so scenario at best from where i'm sitting. Think carefully.

Best of luck.



He used to have this alcohol problem. He's British so you know... He drinks at home but he rarely goes out drinking since we started dating. He would always say that going out is only for single men. Last year, we made Wednesday our date night since we do a lot of overtime (we are both in sales and are both hardworkers. We work at competing companies in The market) and I made sure he makes me a priority at least once a week. Then on weekends, we would spend time together by making love in the morning then grabbing breakfast. Then we would go out. When we come back in his place we spend time apart, he spends time infront of his pc to do work or whatever and I will watch movies on tv. Then between 8-10pm we would be having dinner then watch comedy in bed. I would say that it has improved tremendously in the last 2 years especially last year. But imagine the freedom he had with me... i was a jealous cookiemonster during our first two years then I changed too.. all of a sudden. He had more freedom from me including having his alone time. He can eat what he wants because I am not picky with food. I offer to pay sometimes or even take him out for dinner when I'm being generous or adventurous lol. He does our laundry and I have my space in his cabinet of underwear and clothes. I make the bed every morning so when he is going to sleep at night, he will see a well-made bed and can relax. The only flaw I've got is that he cooks better than me! He farts in front of me or burps before he kisses me and I was fine. He dances naked in front of me and I even got videos of the silly things he did. When he was quitting his job last year and woke up to have sex at 3am, I made love to him to calm him down. I mean.. C'MON. I did my best. remembering the good times make me sad ((((



So cute lol. I smiled a lot when reading it. It appears he really let his guard down and ego and all....

He's a jackass if he doesnt come back. And you deserve better if he doesnt.

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He is if he doesnt realize that I'm the one. I already knew he's the one I want...if all else fails he will just be the one that got away for me.....
Posted by PootyButt
Posted by Geminiforever23
Mind you, his ex was an aqua like him. His mum is a scorp and dad is a cancer. Imagine the divorce that went down a cancer dad and scorp mom. His dad remarried a taurus lady. Now his mum's new boyfriend is a cancer again.

My mum is a scorp and real dad is a scorp too. My mum remarried after my dad passed away. My stepdad who practically raised me and my sister up is a cappy. My scorp mum and cappy step dad only argues once a year. They lived in perfect harmony day and night. My cappy step dad comes home on time and my scorp mum budgets his entire salary. She even does shopping for him so he would not have to wear socks with holes or town underwear. My mum's amazing.


My mom and dad had a pretty much perfect relationship too. And then he died when I was young, sealing that perfection in history. Do you think you might idealize things because of it? Is it possible your devotion is letting him get away with things it should not be? Can you respect him as he is right now or are you waiting for him to grow up or change in some way?

I don't have the answers, and this isn't a "gotcha." These are questions for you.
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I probably am idealizing it because of the experience I had living with my parents. But not wntirely to copy what my parents are. For one, me and my Aqua wont be as quiet and in perfect harmony as my parents are because both of them are home bodies. Me and my aqua we travel multiple times a year to just explore. We feel like when things get boring we need to travel and have a change of scene. We like to laugh whereas my parents are happy in being quiet and peaceful at home.

I do let him get away with things sometimes. Mainly because I understand him... in some cases, I think if I was in his situation, i would do the same thing. Although in some cases, i do lose mg temper over him. Lol i respect him and he improves every year. I can tell. He was different when I first dated him. He didnt care anout "family" time, he didnt care if he was too drunk and being embarassing. He didnt care about where he puts his clothes... we argued about so many little things before and after sometime, he just changed and became a bit better than before. Now he is never late in seeing his son. He used to get drunk and wake up late. Even his mother asks me how I changed him. (And here i go again wishing he can see that....) i'm no miracle worker. I just think i love him and love does wonderful things to people. I believe that.
Mind you, his ex was an aqua like him. His mum is a scorp and dad is a cancer. Imagine the divorce that went down a cancer dad and scorp mom. His dad remarried a taurus lady. Now his mum's new boyfriend is a cancer again.

My mum is a scorp and real dad is a scorp too. My mum remarried after my dad passed away. My stepdad who practically raised me and my sister up is a cappy. My scorp mum and cappy step dad only argues once a year. They lived in perfect harmony day and night. My cappy step dad comes home on time and my scorp mum budgets his entire salary. She even does shopping for him so he would not have to wear socks with holes or town underwear. My mum's amazing.
Posted by PootyButt
Posted by Geminiforever23
Posted by aquarius_beauty
Posted by Geminiforever23
Posted by aquarius_beauty
I may not be a Gemini but I am a Gemini moonie with Aqua sun. And I feel I can relate on both parts.

Like someone else said....
Screw the other people. I know it's so easy to feel like you're being left behind. But honestly why rush into something that will not work out in the end? Take your time don't rush into marriage and kids with an individual who might not be the right one.

As for the Aqua. He's stubborn, we're stubborn. We have FIXED ideas and those ideas are sometimes stupid...sorry fellow Aquas but we sometimes have this ideal. I'm currently going through that right now with my 'breakup'. Thing is I didn't want to get re-married or have kids in the future. I would always say to myself that I was never going to do both when I left my Aries. The Leo in my life changed my perspective and my views on what I wanted. Now, I feel like I will do that and even more! It just takes one person to change our perspectives without pressuring us.

As for you. you're letting your anxiety get the best of you. letting others influence your thoughts. be more assertive in what you want and be less fickle. don't pressure this Aqua. I know it hurts. But you need to sit down and talk about it. Tell him what you want, what you wish to have, and that you'd love to share that with him. But, if he doesn't wish to, tell him you'll respect his wishes and that unfortunately you have to move on. If needed be tell him you'll give him time to think about it. Give him a time frame and that you'll reach out till then. (give him like 2-3 months) but go NC on him. Don't call/text him. Let him come to you and if he does then tell him that you wish to give him that time frame to really think things through. If he's completely sure of his decision then he's going to need to follow through.

Don't be afraid to be assertive. Sometimes we need to walk away from their lives in order for them to learn to appreciate us.

Good luck love!


Thank you for this. I do want to sit down and talk to him about it. I love him truly. Thats why i was asking for this. If i dont see myself settling down with this man, I wouldve just let things happen. I am a gemini and its going to be a sacrifice for my part as well, tying myself down. This is something that i think he doesnt understand. I am also impatient and if we are seeing ourselves spending our lives together, why wait? I know deep inside that we had something real. i want to give him a family that he didnt have... i am a strong woman and I know i can make him happy... but him thinking he cannot give me what i want out of fear is something i worry about... he doesnt trust how strong our love is for each other.


It could be his insecurities. Or maybe he's not there at the level you are. But you won't know unless you speak to him about it. Don't be afraid to love. I know it's frightening to lay out your feelings only to have your feelings fall flat because it's not what we want to hear. It's that fear. That uncertainty. You're probably struggling with bringing it up because you're afraid you might lose him so you settle for this type of scenario. But it's worse to live like this because you're unhappy. Once you let it all out and lay it out you will feel better. Because at least you can walk away with saying I did this. No regrets. You didn't accept it. Well now it's on your court.


One time he got drunk and made his mom cry infront of me. Blaming her for the split of his parents. For reasons he wont tell me or his sister. His dad remarried... i wish he would give himself the chance to do that too... with me. But yes, the question is if he loves me enough to consider being with me.... if not then i think it will be the end of us. I want to know because i dont want to invest all i have as well only to realize later on that i will lose him because he doesnt love me as much as i love him. It is scary on my part too. Im 28 and he is 15 years older and I have to make life decisions....


Ugh, that's a red flag. Who makes their mom cry? I cry imagining.
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Well, he doesnf speak up when he feels so bad about it. When he is stressed, he would start cleaning or scrubbing the sink over and over. Or he would drink. That night was one night that he really let it out... and what he was saying to his mum was the same thing he used to say to me when we argue while he was drunk. So I guess he had some pain inside his heart that he couldnt easily let go of... and I understand that. I just wish he would trust me enough to let me show him that there is also a good side in marriage and having kids. Its not always gonna end up in a messy divorce. Or its not always gonna end up that I will stop making love to him or caring for him like his ex did after having a kid... i can say that because mg mother was the best example. For 16 years, every thursday, my parents still go out on dates. Sometimes they even stay in a motel and leave us at home (thats when me an my sister were already in our twentys.) thats the kind of marriage i wanna have. thats what I wanna give him...
Posted by aquanib
Posted by Geminiforever23
Posted by aquanib
Posted by Geminiforever23


When he texted me, he said that it wasnt me that he didnt want. That he is very sad and depressed now and doesnt know what to think because of the ultimatum i gave him. I told him i love him and i always will but i cannot spend the rest of my life not knowing who i am in his life or if he even wants to grow old with me.

I love him still. I know that for sure... it is a very sad phase. But i will not take him back until he "puts a ring on it" or tells me that we will have a kid/family of our own. It is very important to me that we have a future, a direction. Our cycle is exhausting if we have nothing to look forward to as a couple.


You did good little one. If he loves you, what you laid out for him will be clawing at him from the inside now for a while until he realizes what he let go of. And it will only get worse until its too much and he comes crawling back with a baby crib in the trunk of the car.

Anyhow creampies for you. Soon! Enjoy!





I told him i didnt want him to get depressed and we can talk about it when he is not drunk. He said that he didnt drink since saturday as he is really carefully thinking about things. He also said that I gave him an ultimatum (he just cannot get over the ultimatum part and kept repeating it to me). I told him that what I wanted him to do was be open to the idea. I didnt say get me pregnant now. I said that i wanted him to be open because time will come that I will be really determined to get pregnant or have a family and we will be back i the same stage if we wont do anything about it now. I did say I love him but I cant wait forever for him to decide who I am in his life or if I even matter... then he just responded by saying he is busy. Oh well. Reactions like this makes me think he doesnt give a treetrunk so I just decided i dont give a treetrunk to. Sometimes he can be quite cold I can never tell how he feels....


Imo he is in slight shock lol. Over the fact someone dared issue an ultimatum to him, but even more so that his first instinct/reaction upon hearing it wasn't to tell you to treetrunk off.
Inside of him there was probably something like this "who the treetrunk are you to be giving out ultimatums, who do you think you are, do you really think you have so much power over me".....

but, he didn't, so that's a good sign. Ideally, he has now retreated to process the fact that you really are something in his life and to make room for you, amend life plans that would now include you. But that's at the end, he's probably just bitter and feeling miserable now over the looming loss of freedom.....

#disclaimer: this is largely based on my own experience....it might not be what really happens, for example, i only now read he seems to have an alcohol issue. Are you sure you want to go down that road?
If he does have a problem and he knows you'll want him to resolve it before getting properly with you, part of that processing i mentioned above will include him comparing you against alcohol/party life (i he is a stay at home drunk, that's even more sad).
Trust me on this, the rigors of letting go of the "high" will be weighed against the pros of getting with you. This is a so-so scenario at best from where i'm sitting. Think carefully.

Best of luck.

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He used to have this alcohol problem. He's British so you know... He drinks at home but he rarely goes out drinking since we started dating. He would always say that going out is only for single men. Last year, we made Wednesday our date night since we do a lot of overtime (we are both in sales and are both hardworkers. We work at competing companies in The market) and I made sure he makes me a priority at least once a week. Then on weekends, we would spend time together by making love in the morning then grabbing breakfast. Then we would go out. When we come back in his place we spend time apart, he spends time infront of his pc to do work or whatever and I will watch movies on tv. Then between 8-10pm we would be having dinner then watch comedy in bed. I would say that it has improved tremendously in the last 2 years especially last year. But imagine the freedom he had with me... i was a jealous cookiemonster during our first two years then I changed too.. all of a sudden. He had more freedom from me including having his alone time. He can eat what he wants because I am not picky with food. I offer to pay sometimes or even take him out for dinner when I'm being generous or adventurous lol. He does our laundry and I have my space in his cabinet of underwear and clothes. I make the bed every morning so when he is going to sleep at night, he will see a well-made bed and can relax. The only flaw I've got is that he cooks better than me! He farts in front of me or burps before he kisses me and I was fine. He dances naked in front of me and I even got videos of the silly things he did. When he was quitting his job last year and woke up to have sex at 3am, I made love to him to calm him down. I mean.. C'MON. I did my best. remembering the good times make me sad ((((
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