New priest in town...

A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he couldn't stand still. He asked Father Murphy for some advice. Father Murphy replied, "When I'm worried about gettin' nervous on the pulpit, I take a wee bit o' whiskey. Just to calm my nerves." So the n
And she swore, He was the darkest heaven she had ever seen.
A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he couldn't stand still. He asked Father Murphy for some advice.
Father Murphy replied, "When I'm worried about gettin' nervous on the pulpit, I take a wee bit o' whiskey. Just to calm my nerves."
So the next Sunday he took the older priest's advice. Before the mass, he got nervous and took a drink. He then proceeded to talk up a storm.
Upon return to his office after mass, he found the following note on his door:

1. A few sips of whiskey. Not the whole bottle.
2. There are 10 commandments, not 12.
3. There are 12 disciples, not 10.
4. Jesus was consecrated, not constipated.
5. Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ass.
6. We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J.C.
7. The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to as Senior, Junior, and the Spook.
8. David slew Goliath, he did not kick the butter out of him.
9. When David was hit by a rock and knocked off his donkey, don't say "He was stoned off his ass."
10. We do not refer to the cross as the Big T!
11. When Jesus broke the bread at the Last Supper he said, "Take this and eat it, for it is my body"; he did not say, Eat me."
12. The Virgin Mary is not referred to as the, "Mary with the Cherry".
13. The recommended grace before a meal is not: "Rub-A-dub-dub, thanks for the grub, yea God"
14. Next Sunday there will be a taffy-pulling contest at St. Peter's, not a peter-pulling contest at St. Taffy's.
male
Marine Sun, Virgin Moon, Centaur Ascendant
*canned laughter*

Recent Topics

Is this a scoprio specialty? I have heard many people told me that they had an instant connection with me (I got stopped by strangers on the street a lot as well). Today I was talking to a new guy online whom I just began talking yesterday and he commente
Mine. Sun in Cancer / Mercury in Leo The outlook is positive and organizational ability is increased. There will be less tendency to worry irrationally, but one can be surprisingly bossy. Tenacity is enhanced, and this person will be able to make
I read a quote before saying all Taurus' want is someone to cook for them, cuddle them, and satisfy them physically...that's not really a lot is it? Lol. I can do them things no problem,, but I've been told that Virgo and Taurus are good matches...what ar
So I met this guy about 3 months ago and we became friends but I always felt that he liked me as more than a friend - he's always very affectionate with me and physical. But seeing as he wasn't asking me out, I figured that he was just tactile and he saw
A May 7 Taurus here. I am deeply in love with a Cancer guy. He sees me only as a friend. He asked me to move on and hence we are not meeting from past few months. I asked him to meet me as I really want to see him. He said we could definitely meet
So the media and the internet's got this thing where they criticize HK women for "worshiping money, being narcissistic and having Princess Syndrome" and I thought to myself.. I'm sure other countries and cultures have their own set of women with such char
I was reading an article where the autor said that people with Venus/Neptune placements have a glamorous image...What does it mean?
All talk on the new DXPIL season is to happen here por favor. I will be starting season 2 in a couple of hours That thread will be for Game Picks only [IMG]http://i68.tinypic.com/b5qrzs.png[/IMG]
Who's next? Harrison Ford? Stallone? Schwarzie? Time frlies so fast...since the late 90's l havent counted years...it's just like"a few years after the butterty 2000 mark....a few more...and a few more...l didn't realise it's a completely different world an
Sheet I have to come to terms with. 😓😓😓😓😓😥😥😥😥😥😥😥😥😥
Looking for experiences from having gastric sleeve (not lap band) surgery. Physical effects and difficulty. Mental and emotional challenges.
Is it really as good as what some astrologers online say about the Leo Aries match, especially the Leo female Aries male match? What are they Really like, the pros and cons? Will it work out or not? Longterm?
Oh dear... what's new? I for one started to date other people... a nice normal libra man who's keen on giving love n commitment .. serious .. too nice... everything I want in a partner... though my heart is calling this Aqua man who can't give me that com
OK i've made this test, it's reveal if you are an alpha or no. Post the response you choosed, serious butter! https://testmoz.com/1096847