am i being too harsh on my leo grandmother?

*apology in advance for the boring post* my grandmother is so demanding, and other family members just do things for her and mollycoddle her. but i refuse. you give her an inch and she takes a mile, as soon as you agree to help her she expects you to
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  • Smidge
    ASC~cancer | SUN~aries | MOON~virgo
    *apology in advance for the boring post*

    my grandmother is so demanding, and other family members just do things for her and mollycoddle her. but i refuse.
    you give her an inch and she takes a mile, as soon as you agree to help her she expects you to always do it, without her even asking and when you don't she gets grumpy.

    but she told my mother that she is SCARED to ask for help from me... that makes me feel awful.
    anytime i point her out on her unfair behaviour she gets upset, she acts so fragile but yet then i see her being bossy and demanding to somebody else, it makes me feel like she's playing the victim with me, and that annoys me... but then i question maybe i'm just a prick and i should be more helpful and less harsh lol

    is it normal behaviour for a leo to be like this? i thought you guys were independent?
    which makes me think, if a leo is asking for help does it mean that they actually really need it?
    i need to figure out the correct way to handle her, i don't wanna be a mean ol' witch but i don't want her to demand everything from me like she does with everybody else.
  • MyStarsShine
    Venus ruled, Star gazing Scorpio with Moon in Taurus
    You should just address her as *Queen Gran* lol.....

    I will let the Leo people answer this, but my feeling was just to handle her with humour....

    *bows to the queen*

    Tongue
  • tcta
    Taurus Sun/Rising - Cap Moon - Aries Venus/Mercury - Pisces Mars
    Posted by Smidge
    *apology in advance for the boring post*

    my grandmother is so demanding, and other family members just do things for her and mollycoddle her. but i refuse.
    you give her an inch and she takes a mile, as soon as you agree to help her she expects you to always do it, without her even asking and when you don't she gets grumpy.

    but she told my mother that she is SCARED to ask for help from me... that makes me feel awful.
    anytime i point her out on her unfair behaviour she gets upset, she acts so fragile but yet then i see her being bossy and demanding to somebody else, it makes me feel like she's playing the victim with me, and that annoys me... but then i question maybe i'm just a prick and i should be more helpful and less harsh lol

    is it normal behaviour for a leo to be like this? i thought you guys were independent?
    which makes me think, if a leo is asking for help does it mean that they actually really need it?
    i need to figure out the correct way to handle her, i don't wanna be a mean ol' witch but i don't want her to demand everything from me like she does with everybody else.


    my mother was a leo and a terrible narcissist and yes, she played the fiddle well - I didn't buy any of it from an early age and became the black swan - I could tell you stories that would make your skin crawl - things she did to me as a child - I did not go to her funeral when she died - that is how far I needed to get away from her

    she went to your mother because that is again her trying to be able to manipulate you indirectly into doing what she wants - like ok so if your mother asks you then you will do it ... F that !

    keep up the boundaries; do what you can; be verbal and firm - I love you, I can do this, no I can't do that; don't get grumpy because I can't do everything you want me to do for you, etc. and most of all research narcissism - even if it's not full blown, she is a huge manipulator

    she may need some help - sure, older people do - but some people step over other people's boundaries and you need to make sure you are clear when that happens

    - do not feel awful - and yes, she is playing the victim - I've been there my entire life and I've researched a lot of this stuff because I lived it and I didn't want to be messed up - in essence what you are feeling is the creepiness of the situation and your subconscious is trying to tell you something - it's trying to tell you that what you "feel" is happening is really happening ...

    I have to go for now but I will be back tomorrow ...

  • Smidge
    ASC~cancer | SUN~aries | MOON~virgo
    Posted by MyStarsShine
    You should just address her as *Queen Gran* lol.....

    I will let the Leo people answer this, but my feeling was just to handle her with humour....

    *bows to the queen*

    Tongue


    that's exactly how my mother deals with it!!

    and somehow i think she'd enjoy being called queen gran and that annoys me too lol
    ugh #ariesleostruggles
  • Lunabee
    Sleeping w/ the moon & the stars
    My grandma was a lot like that too. I always just helped her and I'm glad I did because you never know how long they'll be around.
  • Smidge
    ASC~cancer | SUN~aries | MOON~virgo
    Posted by tcta
    Posted by Smidge
    *apology in advance for the boring post*

    my grandmother is so demanding, and other family members just do things for her and mollycoddle her. but i refuse.
    you give her an inch and she takes a mile, as soon as you agree to help her she expects you to always do it, without her even asking and when you don't she gets grumpy.

    but she told my mother that she is SCARED to ask for help from me... that makes me feel awful.
    anytime i point her out on her unfair behaviour she gets upset, she acts so fragile but yet then i see her being bossy and demanding to somebody else, it makes me feel like she's playing the victim with me, and that annoys me... but then i question maybe i'm just a prick and i should be more helpful and less harsh lol

    is it normal behaviour for a leo to be like this? i thought you guys were independent?
    which makes me think, if a leo is asking for help does it mean that they actually really need it?
    i need to figure out the correct way to handle her, i don't wanna be a mean ol' witch but i don't want her to demand everything from me like she does with everybody else.


    my mother was a leo and a terrible narcissist and yes, she played the fiddle well - I didn't buy any of it from an early age and became the black swan - I could tell you stories that would make your skin crawl - things she did to me as a child - I did not go to her funeral when she died - that is how far I needed to get away from her

    she went to your mother because that is again her trying to be able to manipulate you indirectly into doing what she wants - like ok so if your mother asks you then you will do it ... F that !

    keep up the boundaries; do what you can; be verbal and firm - I love you, I can do this, no I can't do that; don't get grumpy because I can't do everything you want me to do for you, etc. and most of all research narcissism - even if it's not full blown, she is a huge manipulator

    she may need some help - sure, older people do - but some people step over other people's boundaries and you need to make sure you are clear when that happens

    - do not feel awful - and yes, she is playing the victim - I've been there my entire life and I've researched a lot of this stuff because I lived it and I didn't want to be messed up - in essence what you are feeling is the creepiness of the situation and your subconscious is trying to tell you something - it's trying to tell you that what you "feel" is happening is really happening ...

    I have to go for now but I will be back tomorrow ...

    click to expand


    i've known narcissists , she's far from a narcissist
    don't get me wrong she's not a bad person, she's sweet and caring, i love her to bits. she's just bossy and demanding... she may be a little manipulative and plays victim from time to time but there's no bad bone in her body.

    your story sounds pretty bad though, sorry to hear it.

  • Smidge
    ASC~cancer | SUN~aries | MOON~virgo
    Posted by Lunabee
    My grandma was a lot like that too. I always just helped her and I'm glad I did because you never know how long they'll be around.


    this is very true and i get thoughts like this all the time.
  • MyStarsShine
    Venus ruled, Star gazing Scorpio with Moon in Taurus
    Posted by Smidge
    Posted by MyStarsShine
    You should just address her as *Queen Gran* lol.....

    I will let the Leo people answer this, but my feeling was just to handle her with humour....

    *bows to the queen*

    Tongue


    that's exactly how my mother deals with it!!

    and somehow i think she'd enjoy being called queen gran and that annoys me too lol
    ugh #ariesleostruggles
    click to expand


    Well you could have some fun with it.......buy her a fake crown lol and be very dramatic with her...she would enjoy it and you could take the piss a little without being mean....

    I had a Leo sister (she passed away) and my father used to say *look at Bette Davis*, because she was so dramatic and always wanted the limelight Tongue. She was bursting to be famous, as a writer and i used to say to her *when you are a best selling author i will come to your book signing in Paris, daaaaaaarling and we will drink champagne*. She loved it smile

  • Smidge
    ASC~cancer | SUN~aries | MOON~virgo
    Posted by MyStarsShine
    Posted by Smidge
    Posted by MyStarsShine
    You should just address her as *Queen Gran* lol.....

    I will let the Leo people answer this, but my feeling was just to handle her with humour....

    *bows to the queen*

    Tongue


    that's exactly how my mother deals with it!!

    and somehow i think she'd enjoy being called queen gran and that annoys me too lol
    ugh #ariesleostruggles


    Well you could have some fun with it.......buy her a fake crown lol and be very dramatic with her...she would enjoy it and you could take the piss a little without being mean....

    I had a Leo sister (she passed away) and my father used to say *look at Bette Davis*, because she was so dramatic and always wanted the limelight Tongue. She was bursting to be famous, as a writer and i used to say to her *when you are a best selling author i will come to your book signing in Paris, daaaaaaarling and we will drink champagne*. She loved it smile

    click to expand


    lol aaw that's cute.
    you're right you know, maybe i should lighten the f up, y so srs


  • MyStarsShine
    Venus ruled, Star gazing Scorpio with Moon in Taurus
    Posted by Smidge
    Posted by MyStarsShine
    Posted by Smidge
    Posted by MyStarsShine
    You should just address her as *Queen Gran* lol.....

    I will let the Leo people answer this, but my feeling was just to handle her with humour....

    *bows to the queen*

    Tongue


    that's exactly how my mother deals with it!!

    and somehow i think she'd enjoy being called queen gran and that annoys me too lol
    ugh #ariesleostruggles


    Well you could have some fun with it.......buy her a fake crown lol and be very dramatic with her...she would enjoy it and you could take the piss a little without being mean....

    I had a Leo sister (she passed away) and my father used to say *look at Bette Davis*, because she was so dramatic and always wanted the limelight Tongue. She was bursting to be famous, as a writer and i used to say to her *when you are a best selling author i will come to your book signing in Paris, daaaaaaarling and we will drink champagne*. She loved it smile



    lol aaw that's cute.
    you're right you know, maybe i should lighten the f up, y so srs


    click to expand


    Try to if you can smile

    Go on ebay and buy her a crown or tiara ... and if you do, come back to show me

    You could get her a cloak too

    Tongue
  • MyStarsShine
    Venus ruled, Star gazing Scorpio with Moon in Taurus
    Here you go.....Ebay.....smile

    *Golden Gran Crown*

    You could lay it on a red velvet cushion and present it to her with a bow

    Lol

    User Submitted Image
  • Smidge
    ASC~cancer | SUN~aries | MOON~virgo
    Posted by MyStarsShine
    Here you go.....Ebay.....smile

    *Golden Gran Crown*

    You could lay it on a red velvet cushion and present it to her with a bow

    Lol

    User Submitted Image


    i honestly don't know if she'd be offended or if she'd love it lol
    sometimes she gets really offended but then sometimes she shocks me
    she banged something of the counter today and held my ear, it was reeeally loud and she said "you must have sensitive ears, that didn't hurt me at all" and i replied " yeah but you're treetrunkin' deaf" and she just burst out laughing, i was like wow, wasn't expecting that.

  • tcta
    Taurus Sun/Rising - Cap Moon - Aries Venus/Mercury - Pisces Mars
    Posted by Smidge
    Posted by tcta
    Posted by Smidge
    *apology in advance for the boring post*

    my grandmother is so demanding, and other family members just do things for her and mollycoddle her. but i refuse.
    you give her an inch and she takes a mile, as soon as you agree to help her she expects you to always do it, without her even asking and when you don't she gets grumpy.

    but she told my mother that she is SCARED to ask for help from me... that makes me feel awful.
    anytime i point her out on her unfair behaviour she gets upset, she acts so fragile but yet then i see her being bossy and demanding to somebody else, it makes me feel like she's playing the victim with me, and that annoys me... but then i question maybe i'm just a prick and i should be more helpful and less harsh lol

    is it normal behaviour for a leo to be like this? i thought you guys were independent?
    which makes me think, if a leo is asking for help does it mean that they actually really need it?
    i need to figure out the correct way to handle her, i don't wanna be a mean ol' witch but i don't want her to demand everything from me like she does with everybody else.


    my mother was a leo and a terrible narcissist and yes, she played the fiddle well - I didn't buy any of it from an early age and became the black swan - I could tell you stories that would make your skin crawl - things she did to me as a child - I did not go to her funeral when she died - that is how far I needed to get away from her

    she went to your mother because that is again her trying to be able to manipulate you indirectly into doing what she wants - like ok so if your mother asks you then you will do it ... F that !

    keep up the boundaries; do what you can; be verbal and firm - I love you, I can do this, no I can't do that; don't get grumpy because I can't do everything you want me to do for you, etc. and most of all research narcissism - even if it's not full blown, she is a huge manipulator

    she may need some help - sure, older people do - but some people step over other people's boundaries and you need to make sure you are clear when that happens

    - do not feel awful - and yes, she is playing the victim - I've been there my entire life and I've researched a lot of this stuff because I lived it and I didn't want to be messed up - in essence what you are feeling is the creepiness of the situation and your subconscious is trying to tell you something - it's trying to tell you that what you "feel" is happening is really happening ...

    I have to go for now but I will be back tomorrow ...



    i've known narcissists , she's far from a narcissist
    don't get me wrong she's not a bad person, she's sweet and caring, i love her to bits. she's just bossy and demanding... she may be a little manipulative and plays victim from time to time but there's no bad bone in her body.

    your story sounds pretty bad though, sorry to hear it.

    click to expand


    well that's good but google "manipulation" and how to deal with it with a loved one - my feathers ruffle when I hear of this because of what I went through - lol - I can't deal at all with someone who is bossy, demanding, manipulative, and plays victim no matter if they are family or acquaintance - those were the base items in my situation ... I am learning that I am very touchy when others bring this up and I have to warn them although I probably come off way too strong lol

  • Lol grandmoms are cute. I lost mine few months back. I think they become children again when they are old. The cycle. Our parents will be there too. They are gonna probably act the way we did when we were kids. We need to do all the things they did for us as children.They spoilt us..n it'll be our turn to spoil them I guess. We should ease our grandparents n parents into oldage with grace..we can try atleast smile
  • Smidge
    ASC~cancer | SUN~aries | MOON~virgo
    Posted by tcta
    Posted by Smidge
    Posted by tcta
    Posted by Smidge
    *apology in advance for the boring post*

    my grandmother is so demanding, and other family members just do things for her and mollycoddle her. but i refuse.
    you give her an inch and she takes a mile, as soon as you agree to help her she expects you to always do it, without her even asking and when you don't she gets grumpy.

    but she told my mother that she is SCARED to ask for help from me... that makes me feel awful.
    anytime i point her out on her unfair behaviour she gets upset, she acts so fragile but yet then i see her being bossy and demanding to somebody else, it makes me feel like she's playing the victim with me, and that annoys me... but then i question maybe i'm just a prick and i should be more helpful and less harsh lol

    is it normal behaviour for a leo to be like this? i thought you guys were independent?
    which makes me think, if a leo is asking for help does it mean that they actually really need it?
    i need to figure out the correct way to handle her, i don't wanna be a mean ol' witch but i don't want her to demand everything from me like she does with everybody else.


    my mother was a leo and a terrible narcissist and yes, she played the fiddle well - I didn't buy any of it from an early age and became the black swan - I could tell you stories that would make your skin crawl - things she did to me as a child - I did not go to her funeral when she died - that is how far I needed to get away from her

    she went to your mother because that is again her trying to be able to manipulate you indirectly into doing what she wants - like ok so if your mother asks you then you will do it ... F that !

    keep up the boundaries; do what you can; be verbal and firm - I love you, I can do this, no I can't do that; don't get grumpy because I can't do everything you want me to do for you, etc. and most of all research narcissism - even if it's not full blown, she is a huge manipulator

    she may need some help - sure, older people do - but some people step over other people's boundaries and you need to make sure you are clear when that happens

    - do not feel awful - and yes, she is playing the victim - I've been there my entire life and I've researched a lot of this stuff because I lived it and I didn't want to be messed up - in essence what you are feeling is the creepiness of the situation and your subconscious is trying to tell you something - it's trying to tell you that what you "feel" is happening is really happening ...

    I have to go for now but I will be back tomorrow ...



    i've known narcissists , she's far from a narcissist
    don't get me wrong she's not a bad person, she's sweet and caring, i love her to bits. she's just bossy and demanding... she may be a little manipulative and plays victim from time to time but there's no bad bone in her body.

    your story sounds pretty bad though, sorry to hear it.



    well that's good but google "manipulation" and how to deal with it with a loved one - my feathers ruffle when I hear of this because of what I went through - lol - I can't deal at all with someone who is bossy, demanding, manipulative, and plays victim no matter if they are family or acquaintance - those were the base items in my situation ... I am learning that I am very touchy when others bring this up and I have to warn them although I probably come off way too strong lol

    click to expand


    it's understandable.

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