Y'all. Hi. Libra chick here. I've been reading your comments for months & find your thoughts & wisdom truly interesting, helpful, sometimes brutal & often oh so funny! Thanks for being here! This is my first post. I'm on a quest to simply understand & I think I have come to the right place. Please hang with me during this little journey. It may seem trivial to some, but knowledge is power + writing this out should be super cathartic!
Because you might ask: Me: age 42, Libra sun, Cancer moon, Taurus mars, Scorpio mercury, Sagittarius Venus, Leo rising Him: age 37, Taurus sun, Aries moon, Taurus mars, Taurus mercury, Cancer Venus, unknown rising.
Backstory: We met at work. Terrible idea right? It's actually not so bad. We work for a big company, in separate buildings, fraternization is allowed and our paths don't cross that often... unless we want them to. So potentially manageable. We "noticed" each other about 4 months ago. I would say immediate physical attraction on both sides. We did this major eye contact/giant smiles dance with each other for a few weeks until we finally started to manage some short, polite conversation. Oddly enough, and this seriously NEVER happens, we were assigned to work on a project together. We spent the next 7 weeks working with each other all day, one day a week. He has a quiet confidence, but man oh man is he bashful when he has a crush! This man made me feel like we were 13 again with his insanely adorable shyness & his blushing made my heart swell up like the grinch lol. After the first couple of days his nervousness began to settle & we were able to really start talking. Long story short, lots of flirting commenced (mostly non verbal); fun, intellectual and personal conversations were had (I let him see a little vulnerability-- he truly was a fantastic listener); loads of positive romantic body language observed, common interests established & at the end of our third week together he verbally expressed his interest in me (very carefully), to which I reciprocated. Thanks to reading this forum I felt prepared to encourage/reassure him in all the right ways without chasing or being aggressive, which I THINK I did do successfully. I thought he might ask me out soon, but then something terrible happened. Complicated rolled in like a freight train. Ugh.
Our company had an evening fundraiser. I had a week or so earlier overheard (I did not directly ask about him at work b/c of office-y gossip) that he had fairly recently started dating someone-- so like a month or two before he & I met. Prior to her he was in a LTR for about 5 years & was single for about a year before he began seeing her. She was at the fundraiser, but as a volunteer, not a date. I had the fantastic pleasure of working this out on my own that evening. Bleh. This Libra is confident in most situations, but was wildly uncomfortable with this discovery. Not angry, just kind of mortified. Why?? Well, I try to keep it classy & I hate drama! Were they just dating, gf/bf, committed??? She kept looking at me all evening as if she knew who I was. Creepy. He & I were not socializing or anything so I couldn't (still can't) work out how she knows who I am. But what really stinks is that my brother who is younger & super attractive was attending the event with friends and he came over to give me a hug. I did happen to notice the Taurus fella in my peripheral paying very close attention to my interaction with my brother, but I thought nothing of it at the time. I now think that might have been a turning point for Taurus?? Why? He wouldn't have known that was my brother and not just some dude, random love interest, or whatever that I hugged.
Here's what I now know: He & the girl were not exclusive prior to that evening. A few days after that weekend she announced exclusivity with him on FB & tagged him. I am not on FB. Seriously way too much drama for me. So I trusted a ride or die Taurus girlfriend who is friends with him on FB to fill me in on what was happening. In hindsight, I wish I would have asked him directly what his availability was in our early encounters. I guess I am too trusting. He has a great reputation for being a good (quiet/introverted) guy at work so I didn't think into it too much. Live and learn. We worked together on our project for three more days after that, but I didn't know the FB status stuff until right after our project ended. The first day was a little awkward. We were both a little bit dialed back/cautious/guarded, but we gradually warmed back up into a good rhythm again and enjoyed the remainder of our project time. He never did ask me out. Now I know why. Heavy sigh. He did share food with me though lol. Our eye contact has always been really amazing. I don't want to continue even non verbally flirting & being that girl that flirts with another girls guy, but when our eyes meet we both lock in and it's so hard to pull away. There's also the smile that lights up his face when we wind up in the same place at the same time. Does not make things easier. We have texted each other off & on since we first met and still do. He is quick to respond regardless of who initiates. We are both professionals and I know he respects me. He has asked for my advice on a few situations and we have both shared a few secrets with each other. I do genuinely like this guy so this sucks. I'm not mad that he chose to try a relationship with his girl. Disappointed? Hell yeah. They had a head start and I'm sure he was already emotionally invested in her in some way so I can accept that that was his choice. She's safe and in his eyes I might have been too much of a risk. Or he just decided he liked her more. But what now? I think we both desire friendship, but are also attracted to each other. Am i getting this wrong? If not, is friendship a bad idea?? It definitely feels weird for the subject to just be quietly swept under a rug like the proverbial giant elephant in the room, but I feel it's all a moot point to bother bringing it up now. I mean he literally tells me he likes me then commits to another girl within the span of a week. What just happened?! @jean wrote some comments that I really identified with about her Taurus in their early getting together phase. You all understand the ins and outs of these guys so well I thought you might be able to lend some clarity to my Libra brain so that I can just get moving past this and be better prepared if another Taurus comes along or if this one should wind up single again. My gut, my intuition tells me that he is not a bad guy-- honest intentions perhaps, but wrong timing?? Am i wrong?? I do just wish we could have "cleared the air" about where we stood/how we felt, especially due to the work component, but alas that is not the Taurus way, right?!
Questions & thoughts moving forward: How does his Aries moon affect him? I really dig Taurus men traits, but the Aries moon with his sun seems almost backwards to me. Like they would be almost working against each other?? I have no where near the knowledge that you good peeps have though. I can identify with how Taurus chooses, but Aries not so much. So which is likely to affect the attraction and decision making process more? I am cancer moon, but don't feel that I identify with the cancer side too much or perhaps I just can't see it plainly.
Also, do you consider Taurus to truly have a vain side? I mean, I'm Libra and I do like pretty things, but I am also very pragmatic. I ask this because he and I likely earn about the same annual income and I guarantee it's no where near where either of us would like to be. However, we're both educated, hard working and really enjoy our careers. Because Taurus wants a (financially) comfortable life, could you see one (male) choosing one woman over another based solely on if that woman made significantly more money?
Thanks all for reading! I have zero astrology connected friends with whom I can discuss this with. Boo. Constructive thoughts appreciated!