Posted by Whorpio
I guess the drama with my boyfriends momma ain’t over. I ran the most recent incidents by a best friend, and she said it sounds like le future MIL is trying to break us up.
Back in August-ish my bf was installing hidden cameras at his moms office. It was just us 3 there. My bf was getting worked up because the cameras weren’t connecting to the WiFi properly, so I read the instructions to him and he snapped at me. After he stormed out of the room his mom told me, “if I were in your shoes I wouldn’t let him talk to me like that.” I was just thinking “wtf kind of comment is that?” He didn’t say anything personally attacking me; he just raised his voice out of agitation because the instructions didn’t work. So I explained to his mom that he’s just tired & stressed and she was like “well tired and stressed ain’t an excuse to act like that. If you don’t say something now he’s going to think he can treat you like that all the time”. I feel like I should mention my bf treats me like an angel 99% of the time; it’s just the 1% of the time when he’s doing things for his mom when he gets a short rope.
I guess I just felt like she was trying to plant the seed in my head that my bf is like my verbally/emotionally abusive dad 🙄 My bf said she’s just retarded, but when I told my bff about it she said it sounds like the mom is tryna break us up.
Then, in September my bfs mom offered to pay for new tires for my car. At the time, my parents were saying they’d pay for the tires, so I told that to his mom. Word for word I said “I think my parents are going to pay for the tires” and left it at that. Fast forward to October, she’s having a convo with my bf talking mad trash about me not having a job (that she knows of), and one thing she mentioned was me “turning my nose up” at her offer to pay for my tires. And then she mentioned how if she’s going to buy my bf a condo next year (for college) I better get a job to pay some of the bills because she’s not going to sponsor a free loader. She told him he can date who he wants after he graduates, but she “just can’t support” the both of us (it should be noted I’m making bank right now, and when we move next year I’ll have more job opportunities pertaining to what I want to make a lifelong career, so there’s no reason for her to be talking trash like I’m a dead beat).
Finally, today apparently she called him and they got to talking about my boyfriends mattress. My bf wants to get a new mattress this winter so he’s going to sell our current one to his mom. They’ve been talking about this for months now, but at first he was apprehensive because he didn’t know if we’d want it for a guest bedroom. Anyways, when they were talking about it today his mom apparently said she didn’t know if he was still selling it to her because I didn’t seem like I wanted to give it to her. I was like wtf? I’ve never talked to her about our mattress situation; it’s not my business.
I just don’t understand why she talks all this shit. I don’t like when people manipulate like that, and I absolutely can’t stand when people make up things about me and go telling those fake stories to people I care about. I know my boyfriend knows the truth, but I still feel like it’s disrespectful to both of us for her to even try spinning these stories. Most of all it’s just hurtful because it feels like she’s trying to paint me like some person who is trying to compete with her or some mean person who doesn’t want anything to do with her, when quite literally I was looking up to her for a while and wishing to turn her into a second mom since my own mom lives 1000 miles away.
I understand it would be helpful to maintain a relationship with her so she buys my bf a condo next year, buuuuut at this point I’m confident I could just pay for an apartment for us and support us by myself while he’s in college. I don’t want to accept anything from her because it just gives her more things to talk shit about.
Now I finally understand why my boyfriend has hated her all these years.
Back in August-ish my bf was installing hidden cameras at his moms office. It was just us 3 there. My bf was getting worked up because the cameras weren’t connecting to the WiFi properly, so I read the instructions to him and he snapped at me. After he stormed out of the room his mom told me, “if I were in your shoes I wouldn’t let him talk to me like that.” I was just thinking “wtf kind of comment is that?” He didn’t say anything personally attacking me; he just raised his voice out of agitation because the instructions didn’t work. So I explained to his mom that he’s just tired & stressed and she was like “well tired and stressed ain’t an excuse to act like that. If you don’t say something now he’s going to think he can treat you like that all the time”.
Good on you for being understanding and caring of your boyfriend and knowing that him snapping at you had NOTHING to do with you. But also your MIL actions towards you have nothing to do with you and shows more of who she is than anything.
“She wouldn’t let him talk to her like that” I bet she doesn’t lol he wasn’t attacking you, right, but maybe mom thinks that when he talks to her like that, he’s attacking her, which he’s not but you know better. That’s how she probably feels tho, nothing you can do to change that. That whole ordeal was just her experience with him. She was basically telling you, “You should feel how I feel when he does that do me and this is what I think when he does that and you should think this way too” lol
Anyone who offers to pay for your stuff but expects anything in return is questionable. However, you could have said “Thank you but my parents are paying for them” and hell who knows, maybe she would have thought the same damn exact way regardless of what you say to her.
She could have said everything about buying him a place for college and leaving the free loader comment out. It was rude but again it says more about her than you because obviously that isn’t you. You could tell her “I will help pay bills because I wouldn’t want you to think I’m a FREE LOADER” 😂
Jk that would cause more drama than it’s worth and I know you would probably help pay bills anyway but you two need to sit down and have a conversation.
“First of all I want to thank you for offering to buy my tires but my parents were getting them, I appreciated the gesture though” (even though she could have been doing it for her self) who knows. Thats why responses are always hard. No one knows what is really going on through that woman’s head lol unless you sit down and ask and even then you may not find out the truth.
Anyways, continuing with your talk. “Also I understand you don’t want to take care of your son and I financially by getting us a condo and that’s perfectly fine but calling me a free loader was out of line. I do have the funds to help pay bills, I have the funds to get our own apartment to live in if that is what we agree on. I would just really appreciate it that if you had an issue with me, you’d come to me about it so we could sort these things out because it seems we’ve had a few misunderstandings lately and since I have been and will continue to be a part of your sons life, we should try to sort things out with each other like adults. I look up to you and want us to be able to fix our issues.
Ugh, Idk, I want you to go to her being understanding and caring but not kiss her ass which I know you won’t
With the mattress tell her it’s not that you don’t want to give it to her, it’s just that you’re thinking of keeping it for a spare bedroom. Simple and if she still talks shit for y’all wanting to keep it, that’s her issue
