You can’t get her to do anything she doesn’t want to do. Thing is I’m sure you like her empathetic nature towards you. This is who she is. We learn eventually when we don’t like how we are being treated. One must decide they’ve had enough and get stronger. Then, they won’t fall for it so much.
You need to let her learn. Your problem is you want things how you want them, and you want to make her fall in line. It’s not how it works. I learned this lesson the hard way seriously. Sometimes people never learn… and sometimes they do. You just can’t make her.