I get everything the OP is talking about. I like my casual emotionless romps as well.... to a degree. the only issue is the lying.... obviously you can't trust him. If he's willing to lie to his wife about where he's at, what he's doing, etc etc.... what makes you think he's not lying to you?

that's the scary part when it comes to non-commitment AND lying... is everything you set it place is based on a lie.