I don't know the whole back story but the genuine nature of the post struck a chord with me. In a good way. I guess because I've been there before. Its not easy.
Maybe you need time to reflect on you. This was an extremely toxic relationship. You both were hanging on to ideas as safety nets. Y'all offered each other security but at a high price. When two ppl get comfortable and secure, the nature of them comes out. Y'all were too scared to try this but did anyway. I think y'all moved too fast. Just me, I wouldn't move in(again. Done it before)with my partner unless we were married. I honestly like the peace I have now.
Seems like y'all really cared for each other but weren't healthy for each other. It sadly happens. Take the time to heal. And let him be. He needs to heal too. Letting go isn't always giving up its simply releasing for a higher truth. Keep ya head up