Thanks Kry, your words always ring true and open my eyes to other directions.
She says that they both have mutually made this decision, however, I know that he didn't come home for 3 nights. Went on a bender without any of his friends or family so it makes me wonder whether there is someone else involved. I haven't asked my girl that question. If she wants to tell me this then that is up to her and of course he may not have anyone else...that is all SPECULATION! At this point she is adamant that she doesn't want to even try salvaging their relationship, they were starting to hate each other in the end (her words)
I have also suggested that she takes time to heal and decide whether she wants to come back home here, she has a 10 day trip from New Years and doesn't need to return but if that is the case then try and get a job transfer and close things off properly there. No pressure, just something for her to think about as she maps out a new future. It also gives her other things to think about than just dwelling on all the hurt.