"do you think your resentment / bitterness about your hubby was built up from the fact that he cheated before? Was that why you withheld sex with him? are things improving with him now?"
No, probably the other way around .. he has a lover because I won't do him.
He doesn't make love .. he only treetrunks .. and can't comprehend the difference. Finally, over years, I gave up. I can do myself, I really don't need his "tool" to accomplish that. So, I cut him off .. now, he has a lover. To me it's not really cheating, since I don't want him for this purpose. To me, cheating means something is being taken away from you that YOU want, but, it's being given to somebody else.
I don't want it .. so, it's not cheating me out of anything .. no loss.