Do you want to get married?

Why?(Not)

For the divorced ones: would you do it again?

I would definitely want to get married real soon.

Because I'm a family man at heart, and I will never change.

Posted by WarAngel79
I would definitely want to get married real soon.

Because I'm a family man at heart, and I will never change.

Why haven't you yet?

If you don't mind me asking

Posted by Generous1987

Posted by WarAngel79
I would definitely want to get married real soon.

Because I'm a family man at heart, and I will never change.

Why haven't you yet?

If you don't mind me asking

click to expand

It's simple really, most women I've been around weed themselves out of contention. I'm still very optimistic but I'm not above giving them the rope to hang themselves with.

Its not out of the picture, but not something I deeply want or search for. Which is actually kind of perfect for a woman who truly does want something like that because it would be 100% her setup an theme. There would be little to no input from me unless asked. Weddings are pretty cool imo. I do believe making people feel like its mandatory is pretty bad, but overall its still an experience. Though its still far from the top of my list, at least right now.

I have mixed feelings about marriage.

The lover girl in me says yes, I want to get married and have kids after marriage. I want my happily ever after.

The cynical girl in me says nah, it's not necessary to get married because it's just telling the government your tax situation has changed and that you're willing to pay money to say y'all are together and you're willing to pay money to divorce, maybe. Shit can fall apart even after years of commitment from anything, and it would be way easier to leave and get a move on if the marriage papers were never signed.

There was a Scorpio lady here, I think her name was Elly? I loved everything she wrote and she wrote something about love that I never forgot, I wish I could find it but it was something like “if there is no one who can match my level of love, that might be a little crazy, then I’m not going to be sad. I’m going to chase the world because the world is crazy enough for me”

I probably butchered it.

I am the type of person who tries to make every day special and memorable and I understand that’s probably not realistic. And if I can’t find that I am okay with all of the world has to offer. Not interested in settling. I find new beautiful places to see almost every day. And I’m never disappointed by new places and new experiences. Maybe that is my sag mars. Romantic love is cool but if I can’t have it, traveling and life experience is just as fulfilling.

Posted by PilatesBod
There was a Scorpio lady here, I think her name was Elly? I loved everything she wrote and she wrote something about love that I never forgot, I wish I could find it but it was something like “if there is no one who can match my level of love, that might be a little crazy, then I’m not going to be sad. I’m going to chase the world because the world is crazy enough for me”

I probably butchered it.

I am the type of person who tries to make every day special and memorable and I understand that’s probably not realistic. And if I can’t find that I am okay with all of the world has to offer. Not interested in settling. I find new beautiful places to see almost every day. And I’m never disappointed by new places and new experiences. Maybe that is my sag mars. Romantic love is cool but if I can’t have it, traveling and life experience is just as fulfilling.

❤️

To swing this back to astrology, mind sharing under what signs your 3rd & your 9th houses might be?

Posted by Argus

Posted by PilatesBod
There was a Scorpio lady here, I think her name was Elly? I loved everything she wrote and she wrote something about love that I never forgot, I wish I could find it but it was something like “if there is no one who can match my level of love, that might be a little crazy, then I’m not going to be sad. I’m going to chase the world because the world is crazy enough for me”

I probably butchered it.

I am the type of person who tries to make every day special and memorable and I understand that’s probably not realistic. And if I can’t find that I am okay with all of the world has to offer. Not interested in settling. I find new beautiful places to see almost every day. And I’m never disappointed by new places and new experiences. Maybe that is my sag mars. Romantic love is cool but if I can’t have it, traveling and life experience is just as fulfilling.

❤️

To swing this back to astrology, mind sharing under what signs your 3rd & your 9th houses might be?

click to expand

Aries in 9th House: With Aries in the 9th house, you are likely to approach expansion and wisdom with a pioneering spirit. You may have a strong desire for adventure and exploration, both physically and mentally. Your philosophical pursuits are often driven by a need for personal growth and self-discovery.

Well damn…you really clocked that one. I’ve never looked into that.

Posted by PilatesBod

Posted by Argus

Posted by PilatesBod
There was a Scorpio lady here, I think her name was Elly? I loved everything she wrote and she wrote something about love that I never forgot, I wish I could find it but it was something like “if there is no one who can match my level of love, that might be a little crazy, then I’m not going to be sad. I’m going to chase the world because the world is crazy enough for me”

I probably butchered it.

I am the type of person who tries to make every day special and memorable and I understand that’s probably not realistic. And if I can’t find that I am okay with all of the world has to offer. Not interested in settling. I find new beautiful places to see almost every day. And I’m never disappointed by new places and new experiences. Maybe that is my sag mars. Romantic love is cool but if I can’t have it, traveling and life experience is just as fulfilling.

❤️

To swing this back to astrology, mind sharing under what signs your 3rd & your 9th houses might be?click to expand

Aries in 9th House: With Aries in the 9th house, you are likely to approach expansion and wisdom with a pioneering spirit. You may have a strong desire for adventure and exploration, both physically and mentally. Your philosophical pursuits are often driven by a need for personal growth and self-discovery.

Well damn…you really clocked that one. I’ve never looked into that.

click to expand

😊

I asked becuase it very much reflected my own sentiments. I wondered for the longest what fanned that insatiable designer in me to explored the world. Lo & behold, turns out my 9th house is in Sag.

I’m willing to marry Ands to bring him here so he can dxp again under my IP address.

I know this question isn't for me..

But fyi, after being married.. i just realized im not very good at being married. I think i have commitment issue..

But marriage can be a venue for your self-improvement. Just try to be optimistic here.

Only if it adds peace, stability, and mutual value. Otherwise, I’m good.

Posted by Whynn
I know this question isn't for me..

But fyi, after being married.. i just realized im not very good at being married. I think i have commitment issue..

But marriage can be a venue for your self-improvement. Just try to be optimistic here.

In what way do you feel like you're not very good at being married?

Posted by Lula_


Only if it adds peace, stability, and mutual value. Otherwise, I’m good.

How do you know it's gonna add value to your life? It can be tricky you know

Posted by Generous1987

Posted by Lula_


Only if it adds peace, stability, and mutual value. Otherwise, I’m good.

How do you know it's gonna add value to your life? It can be tricky you know

click to expand

You don’t know upfront — you learn over time through consistency, behavior, and how your nervous system responds in the relationship.

No thank you ill stay divorce. I'm happy and content being single and lonely at my ripe old age. The only thing I'm married and faithful to is my music.

Posted by Generous1987
Why?(Not)

For the divorced ones: would you do it again?

Not in my country. Divorce here takes on average about 10 yrs. And you have to jump through hoops to get one. But what people do is get married abroad and get the marriage recognized here legally. People use the netherlands or spain.

I know that seems like betting on misfortune but honestly if you have seen kids dragged through this. Irish law is weird. Even if both parties are amicable and want to be totally fair to each other Irish law wants to punish them both as much as possible.

Here you can't live together for the sake of the kids while getting a divorce. You HAVE To have been living apart in a totally separate property for at least two full years.

I know one couple who got along even after divorce and during the divorce they wanted to try and live together to save money and so the kids would not have to change school. 6 yrs into the divorce proceedings the courts found out and they had to start the whole effing thing all over again! They were told they could not apply again unless both were living separately at least 2 yrs (with proof) before even applying.

Its a horrible system here because housing is in crisis and having to move out when the couple might be willing to live together for a while but still divorce to keep the house etc puts the kids at risk of homeless because the couple can't afford to run two households but could live as a divorced family unit still.

People try lying all the time so they dont have to sell the house etc and move the kids. Also all financial decisions are decided by the courts and are binding. And its a real risk. They divide stuff up weirdly even ending businesses and companies in dividing them up.

Its like they want to punish the couple as much as possible.

A family having to now run 2 households etc. Its just silly.

You can give back parts of the assets 2 yrs after the divorce. I have a relative who did that. She gave back 1/3 of a business to the ex husband 2 yrs after. But the business sort of had to be officially frozen legally while they did that for 2 yrs.

There are tax breaks for married couples etc. And its easier to get a mortgage but i would not get the ceremony done here.

Both men and women HATE this system.

It traps both parties and makes the kids suffer imo.

Posted by Textosmoon

Posted by Generous1987
Why?(Not)

For the divorced ones: would you do it again?

Not in my country. Divorce here takes on average about 10 yrs. And you have to jump through hoops to get one. But what people do is get married abroad and get the marriage recognized here legally. People use the netherlands or spain.

I know that seems like betting on misfortune but honestly if you have seen kids dragged through this. Irish law is weird. Even if both parties are amicable and want to be totally fair to each other Irish law wants to punish them both as much as possible.

Here you can't live together for the sake of the kids while getting a divorce. You HAVE To have been living apart in a totally separate property for at least two full years.

I know one couple who got along even after divorce and during the divorce they wanted to try and live together to save money and so the kids would not have to change school. 6 yrs into the divorce proceedings the courts found out and they had to start the whole effing thing all over again! They were told they could not apply again unless both were living separately at least 2 yrs (with proof) before even applying.

Its a horrible system here because housing is in crisis and having to move out when the couple might be willing to live together for a while but still divorce to keep the house etc puts the kids at risk of homeless because the couple can't afford to run two households but could live as a divorced family unit still.

People try lying all the time so they dont have to sell the house etc and move the kids. Also all financial decisions are decided by the courts and are binding. And its a real risk. They divide stuff up weirdly even ending businesses and companies in dividing them up.

Its like they want to punish the couple as much as possible.

A family having to now run 2 households etc. Its just silly.

You can give back parts of the assets 2 yrs after the divorce. I have a relative who did that. She gave back 1/3 of a business to the ex husband 2 yrs after. But the business sort of had to be officially frozen legally while they did that for 2 yrs.

There are tax breaks for married couples etc. And its easier to get a mortgage but i would not get the ceremony done here.

Both men and women HATE this system.

It traps both parties and makes the kids suffer imo.

click to expand

I would get married in the netherlands or spain .. and get the marriage recognized in my country

I'm divorced and I don't wanna get married again because it would be a waste of time and I wouldn't recover from it financially. Plus once you've been married, you'll probably have some expectation from a marriage, and thus your previous experience could spoil the new one.

That said, to all the people who say they're cold-footed about getting married, I'd say stop playing games, I believe marriage is for young people and everybody should get married as young as possible, you aren't going to get married when you're old and if you do, it will be a sad old couple.

Peeps should get married and have kids as early as they can, it's okay to make mistakes and to divorce, but don't follow the sorosian plan. Better to be divorced than to be waiting for your ideal soulmate forever

Posted by Textosmoon

Posted by Generous1987
Why?(Not)

For the divorced ones: would you do it again?

Not in my country. Divorce here takes on average about 10 yrs. And you have to jump through hoops to get one. But what people do is get married abroad and get the marriage recognized here legally. People use the netherlands or spain.

I know that seems like betting on misfortune but honestly if you have seen kids dragged through this. Irish law is weird. Even if both parties are amicable and want to be totally fair to each other Irish law wants to punish them both as much as possible.

Here you can't live together for the sake of the kids while getting a divorce. You HAVE To have been living apart in a totally separate property for at least two full years.

I know one couple who got along even after divorce and during the divorce they wanted to try and live together to save money and so the kids would not have to change school. 6 yrs into the divorce proceedings the courts found out and they had to start the whole effing thing all over again! They were told they could not apply again unless both were living separately at least 2 yrs (with proof) before even applying.

Its a horrible system here because housing is in crisis and having to move out when the couple might be willing to live together for a while but still divorce to keep the house etc puts the kids at risk of homeless because the couple can't afford to run two households but could live as a divorced family unit still.

People try lying all the time so they dont have to sell the house etc and move the kids. Also all financial decisions are decided by the courts and are binding. And its a real risk. They divide stuff up weirdly even ending businesses and companies in dividing them up.

Its like they want to punish the couple as much as possible.

A family having to now run 2 households etc. Its just silly.

You can give back parts of the assets 2 yrs after the divorce. I have a relative who did that. She gave back 1/3 of a business to the ex husband 2 yrs after. But the business sort of had to be officially frozen legally while they did that for 2 yrs.

There are tax breaks for married couples etc. And its easier to get a mortgage but i would not get the ceremony done here.

Both men and women HATE this system.

It traps both parties and makes the kids suffer imo.

click to expand

It sounds ridiculous indeed, do you think religion has sth to do with it?

I know in Catholic church divorce is forbidden, I might be wrong though

Posted by Generous1987

Posted by Whynn
I know this question isn't for me..

But fyi, after being married.. i just realized im not very good at being married. I think i have commitment issue..

But marriage can be a venue for your self-improvement. Just try to be optimistic here.

In what way do you feel like you're not very good at being married?

click to expand

I tend to swing from being anxious attached and avoidant attached.. in a few ways, i can't explain very well.. the way i communicate things in marriage is not good.

Posted by Whynn

Posted by Generous1987

Posted by Whynn
I know this question isn't for me..

But fyi, after being married.. i just realized im not very good at being married. I think i have commitment issue..

But marriage can be a venue for your self-improvement. Just try to be optimistic here.

In what way do you feel like you're not very good at being married?click to expand

I tend to swing from being anxious attached and avoidant attached.. in a few ways, i can't explain very well.. the way i communicate things in marriage is not good.

click to expand

I think you're fearful avoidant

Posted by Generous1987

Posted by Whynn

Posted by Generous1987

Posted by Whynn
I know this question isn't for me..

But fyi, after being married.. i just realized im not very good at being married. I think i have commitment issue..

But marriage can be a venue for your self-improvement. Just try to be optimistic here.

In what way do you feel like you're not very good at being married?click to expand

I tend to swing from being anxious attached and avoidant attached.. in a few ways, i can't explain very well.. the way i communicate things in marriage is not good.click to expand

I think you're fearful avoidant

click to expand

if you saw how she spammed my TikTok dms to no response, you'd realize she's anxious preoccupied

idc if I am fitting into the sorosian plan bc I'd rather live a rated R life sans censorship than ever devote any resource of any sort to a child

anyway, I knew since I was in elementary school that I don't have the quality that people fall in love with and that I wouldn't be proposed to. now that I'm an adult and its fair to say I glowed up since elementary school, I realize that its not just my looks and awkwardness keeping me from receiving a proposal, its who I give the time of day to and its my self-perception and fatalism around it.

I'm not one who would actively try to go on tons of dates to find my husband, I would rather it happen organically or not at all, and I'm content never being married. but marriage is a status symbol. engagement rings are beautiful and you look weird if you wear one for no reason lol (id still like to but can't afford to). as a yandere, life commitment sounds ideal. I actually would like to propose to someone one day

what I don't ever want unless I seriously become financially fortunate one day is a mortgage. marriage or not, I'd rather rent. owning a house sounds like total bullshit.

Posted by MidAtBest

Posted by Generous1987

Posted by Whynn

Posted by Generous1987

Posted by Whynn
I know this question isn't for me..

But fyi, after being married.. i just realized im not very good at being married. I think i have commitment issue..

But marriage can be a venue for your self-improvement. Just try to be optimistic here.

In what way do you feel like you're not very good at being married?click to expand

I tend to swing from being anxious attached and avoidant attached.. in a few ways, i can't explain very well.. the way i communicate things in marriage is not good.click to expand

I think you're fearful avoidant click to expand

if you saw how she spammed my TikTok dms to no response, you'd realize she's anxious preoccupied

click to expand

Oh I see!

our Leo son's been hospitalized since the 30th for pneumonia so you can imagine we've barely had any sleep or showers for a week coz we're all just sleeping in this one bed and our son cries everytime we try to go a few steps away to pee.

naturally, all that stress snowballed into an argument about tubes coz the Pisces and i were both initially reluctant about the tubes but our boy was taken to the ER so it's not like we can say no unless we wanted to leave for the second time that day and have our son throw up everytime he has a bite of anything and then we go in circles just to end up in the ER again. thankfully, he's been discharged recently🙏🙏

but weirdly enough, i feel even more assured that i married well after that ordeal. i don't envy the single or unattached anymore nor do i fantasize about becoming the cool, childless aunt in this specific timeline coz dating SUCKS for these two generations.

so many people, especially men have so many excuses to not take charge of their own life or take ownership to make decisions they can confidently call 'theirs' right or wrong. even online they say some BS about how they felt 'forced' to date some girl or some other non-committal crap like they've had a gun against their penis throughout this 'forced captivity.' i'd rather a man who is obsessed with someone every other year than whatever this fake ahole men making stuff up about women they dated just to gas up some current woman they're trying to sell some future fake to.

i'm lucky to be with someone who challenges my decisions, my ideas and don't just blindly go along with everything (even if i'm totally right 😜😜) but understands as much as i do that it may not always be easy to continue to love people when they're sad, afraid, hungry or stupid asf about tubes but that doesn't mean we have to walk away. it's true that there are days when one can be unlovable, even straight up unlikable but imo this partnership expires when one of us dies.

for a while after a bad breakup with a cheating ex, i turned into the kind of person who tried to drop people at the slightest chance but now i feel like all that avoidant crap is just camouflage for men who just can't make the cut of gigachad husband material levels for any female.

Posted by Generous1987

Posted by Textosmoon

Posted by Generous1987
Why?(Not)

For the divorced ones: would you do it again?

Not in my country. Divorce here takes on average about 10 yrs. And you have to jump through hoops to get one. But what people do is get married abroad and get the marriage recognized here legally. People use the netherlands or spain.

I know that seems like betting on misfortune but honestly if you have seen kids dragged through this. Irish law is weird. Even if both parties are amicable and want to be totally fair to each other Irish law wants to punish them both as much as possible.

Here you can't live together for the sake of the kids while getting a divorce. You HAVE To have been living apart in a totally separate property for at least two full years.

I know one couple who got along even after divorce and during the divorce they wanted to try and live together to save money and so the kids would not have to change school. 6 yrs into the divorce proceedings the courts found out and they had to start the whole effing thing all over again! They were told they could not apply again unless both were living separately at least 2 yrs (with proof) before even applying.

Its a horrible system here because housing is in crisis and having to move out when the couple might be willing to live together for a while but still divorce to keep the house etc puts the kids at risk of homeless because the couple can't afford to run two households but could live as a divorced family unit still.

People try lying all the time so they dont have to sell the house etc and move the kids. Also all financial decisions are decided by the courts and are binding. And its a real risk. They divide stuff up weirdly even ending businesses and companies in dividing them up.

Its like they want to punish the couple as much as possible.

A family having to now run 2 households etc. Its just silly.

You can give back parts of the assets 2 yrs after the divorce. I have a relative who did that. She gave back 1/3 of a business to the ex husband 2 yrs after. But the business sort of had to be officially frozen legally while they did that for 2 yrs.

There are tax breaks for married couples etc. And its easier to get a mortgage but i would not get the ceremony done here.

Both men and women HATE this system.

It traps both parties and makes the kids suffer imo.click to expand

It sounds ridiculous indeed, do you think religion has sth to do with it?

I know in Catholic church divorce is forbidden, I might be wrong though

click to expand

Yes definitely. We were rather late to allow divorce at all. And it was very contraversial.

At first you could not seek a divorce until you had been separated legally for 5 years. And you could not remarry for 5 yrs after to the date that your divorce was finalized. So that would have meant it took 20 yrs for you to be able to remarry.

That has been changed you only need to live separately 2 yrs. And you dont need to wait to remarry after your divorce is finalized. But still. Waiting 12 yrs to remarry is nuts. And waiting 12 yrs to be able to get on with your life is also nuts.

Posted by Textosmoon

Posted by Generous1987

Posted by Textosmoon

Posted by Generous1987
Why?(Not)

For the divorced ones: would you do it again?

Not in my country. Divorce here takes on average about 10 yrs. And you have to jump through hoops to get one. But what people do is get married abroad and get the marriage recognized here legally. People use the netherlands or spain.

I know that seems like betting on misfortune but honestly if you have seen kids dragged through this. Irish law is weird. Even if both parties are amicable and want to be totally fair to each other Irish law wants to punish them both as much as possible.

Here you can't live together for the sake of the kids while getting a divorce. You HAVE To have been living apart in a totally separate property for at least two full years.

I know one couple who got along even after divorce and during the divorce they wanted to try and live together to save money and so the kids would not have to change school. 6 yrs into the divorce proceedings the courts found out and they had to start the whole effing thing all over again! They were told they could not apply again unless both were living separately at least 2 yrs (with proof) before even applying.

Its a horrible system here because housing is in crisis and having to move out when the couple might be willing to live together for a while but still divorce to keep the house etc puts the kids at risk of homeless because the couple can't afford to run two households but could live as a divorced family unit still.

People try lying all the time so they dont have to sell the house etc and move the kids. Also all financial decisions are decided by the courts and are binding. And its a real risk. They divide stuff up weirdly even ending businesses and companies in dividing them up.

Its like they want to punish the couple as much as possible.

A family having to now run 2 households etc. Its just silly.

You can give back parts of the assets 2 yrs after the divorce. I have a relative who did that. She gave back 1/3 of a business to the ex husband 2 yrs after. But the business sort of had to be officially frozen legally while they did that for 2 yrs.

There are tax breaks for married couples etc. And its easier to get a mortgage but i would not get the ceremony done here.

Both men and women HATE this system.

It traps both parties and makes the kids suffer imo.click to expand

It sounds ridiculous indeed, do you think religion has sth to do with it?

I know in Catholic church divorce is forbidden, I might be wrong thoughclick to expand

Yes definitely. We were rather late to allow divorce at all. And it was very contraversial.

At first you could not seek a divorce until you had been separated legally for 5 years. And you could not remarry for 5 yrs after to the date that your divorce was finalized. So that would have meant it took 20 yrs for you to be able to remarry.

That has been changed you only need to live separately 2 yrs. And you dont need to wait to remarry after your divorce is finalized. But still. Waiting 12 yrs to remarry is nuts. And waiting 12 yrs to be able to get on with your life is also nuts.

click to expand

12 years is crazy,

I live in an extremely bureaucratic country, and it took my sister less then a year to finalize her divorce

I’m still not sure if I deeply always wanted a big family with a person who’s a devoted husband and father or if that was something desirable conditioned in me by society… Both can also hold true.

As it’s extremely difficult to come by a perfectly compatible person, I’m sure many who married can agree with a decently compatible enough person marriage can be a beautiful life experience whether it ends in pain or not.

I’ve been married for well over half a decade and Lord forbid if something happened I would strongly consider never marrying again. I completely understand the statistics where single women (including divorced and widowed) are happier than married women. The opposite holds for married men.

While deep down I’m a hopeless romantic, I never saw much point in marriage besides certain legal benefits and raising children. I don’t know if I envy people who naturally never had the biological desire to procreate.

Overall I recommend it once if someone’s really curious but only if there’s no risk of it severely financially fucking you up. That’s why I didn’t bother going to law school or something equivalent xD I wasn’t gonna be financially contributing AND doing most of the domestic labor. Btw men wanting that is being called modern day gold digging. It’s why a lot of financially independent women are refusing to ever get married. The “male loneliness epidemic” will only get worse and it’s definitely self-inflicted.

I never really cared for marriage. For me, it’s more of a societal expectation. When people are young, they don’t really know what’s going on and get manipulated by societal expectations.

It’s really rare to find someone to go the full distance with. I laugh at the people who are early in their marriage who think they’ve made it when they are only at the first 100 yards of the race. I’ve seen so many marriages fall apart over time for variety of reasons.

I don’t believe in marriage, but I believe in family and establishing a decent one will require at least some role playing mommy and daddy with a piece of paper.

everyone would want to and get hitched if the circumstances were ideal enough for them