Good relationship advice

Starts at about 6 mins in. Seriously good relationship advice https://youtu.be/1uoxxvdvjiI
Superman77August 9, 2018 9:32pm
17 replies
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  • Starts at about 6 mins in. Seriously good relationship advice

  • Bump
  • Arkansassy
    Provider of Facts and Logic
    lmao @ "Comrade"
  • Posted by Arkansassy
    lmao @ "Comrade"


    But what did you think about the advice?
  • Arkansassy
    Provider of Facts and Logic
    Posted by Superman77
    Posted by Arkansassy
    lmao @ "Comrade"


    But what did you think about the advice?
    click to expand


    Kind of.. Be open and honest but pick your battles

    Would you say conflict avoidance was the reason for your first divorce?
  • Posted by Superman77
    Posted by Arkansassy
    lmao @ "Comrade"


    But what did you think about the advice?
    click to expand


    Very true. Unfortunatelly almost useless because he was talking about smart people...
  • ValleysofNeptune
    Pisces sun, Virgo moon, Leo ascendant - Professional Gaslighter
    25 years old male
    I agree, and imo the biggest thing to take away from what he said is that conflict through discussion is not about imposing your viewpoint on the other, but simply communicating yours and trying to understand theirs so both people can work towards a common and agreed upon goal. And here’s the thing, I think most people actually have more similar views and values at our core than most people realize, we just have varying opinions on how to get there. And discussing these different perspectives is the only way to get to the goal

    And here Peterson says that any problem is worth discussing, even seemingly small ones. I agree, but he’s also said elsewhere that you need to communicate your viewpoint in a certain way to reach them and have some situational awareness. Don’t just overload the person with everything all at once. So it seems like he would be for prioritizing your battles or picking them when the time is right, but they’re all worth addressing. It all depends on the context of each individual relationship
  • CopperDove
    Venusian Scorp
    Posted by ValleysofNeptune
    I agree, and imo the biggest thing to take away from what he said is that conflict through discussion is not about imposing your viewpoint on the other, but simply communicating yours and trying to understand theirs so both people can work towards a common and agreed upon goal. And here’s the thing, I think most people actually have more similar views and values at our core than most people realize, we just have varying opinions on how to get there. And discussing these different perspectives is the only way to get to the goal

    And here Peterson says that any problem is worth discussing, even seemingly small ones. I agree, but he’s also said elsewhere that you need to communicate your viewpoint in a certain way to reach them and have some situational awareness. Don’t just overload the person with everything all at once. So it seems like he would be for prioritizing your battles or picking them when the time is right, but they’re all worth addressing. It all depends on the context of each individual relationship


    I agree too. You summed it up perfectly!
  • Posted by Arkansassy
    Posted by Superman77
    Posted by Arkansassy
    lmao @ "Comrade"


    But what did you think about the advice?


    Kind of.. Be open and honest but pick your battles

    Would you say conflict avoidance was the reason for your first divorce?
    click to expand


    No sir
  • Posted by ValleysofNeptune
    I agree, and imo the biggest thing to take away from what he said is that conflict through discussion is not about imposing your viewpoint on the other, but simply communicating yours and trying to understand theirs so both people can work towards a common and agreed upon goal. And here’s the thing, I think most people actually have more similar views and values at our core than most people realize, we just have varying opinions on how to get there. And discussing these different perspectives is the only way to get to the goal

    And here Peterson says that any problem is worth discussing, even seemingly small ones. I agree, but he’s also said elsewhere that you need to communicate your viewpoint in a certain way to reach them and have some situational awareness. Don’t just overload the person with everything all at once. So it seems like he would be for prioritizing your battles or picking them when the time is right, but they’re all worth addressing. It all depends on the context of each individual relationship


    I feel you on the “right time” part. But, needs to be addressed sooner than later.
  • Arkansassy
    Provider of Facts and Logic
    Posted by Superman77
    Posted by Arkansassy
    Posted by Superman77
    Posted by Arkansassy
    lmao @ "Comrade"


    But what did you think about the advice?


    Kind of.. Be open and honest but pick your battles

    Would you say conflict avoidance was the reason for your first divorce?



    No sir
    click to expand


    Wouldn't you agree that a lack of communication is what leads to divorce though? You don't just wake up one day and say you're done.
  • Posted by Arkansassy
    Posted by Superman77
    Posted by Arkansassy
    Posted by Superman77
    Posted by Arkansassy
    lmao @ "Comrade"


    But what did you think about the advice?


    Kind of.. Be open and honest but pick your battles

    Would you say conflict avoidance was the reason for your first divorce?



    No sir


    Wouldn't you agree that a lack of communication is what leads to divorce though? You don't just wake up one day and say you're done.
    click to expand


    I don’t think it’s a lack of communication. I think what is communicated isn’t effective and it’s because of ego
  • Problems must be solved. Delay gratification. Talk, talk and talk more. This is like an excerpt from, "The road less traveled" book. Same concepts. I'm glad they say it's ways appropriate to talk problems out, battle it out even. It has to happen.


    Good video.

    Can I say the one guys accent... omgah *bites fist*
  • AneemA04
    Hidden part of self
    Negotiating skill is vital, yes.

    Overall, I agree with what he's saying.
    But the word "conflict" seems rather heavy there.
    I mean, we can bring up issues in a form of discussion, right? What I mean is, to simply talk about it in a casual yet serious way.

    So maybe at the moment when you disagree with stuff with someone, keep cool for a while then when you think a proper time is acquired, then you can bring it up.

    So like, nothing is sudden, not too heavy as well. Simply in the middle of casual convo, after you all comfy and good then we can start saying, "so yeah there is something i need to know ...(insert thoughts)" or "Oh yeah, so do you remember when (insert moments), why...?"
    And the intonation, body language match the ambiance of the convo, which is casual.

    In a way, it is as if there's no conflict. And I like that, actually.
    In the end, I am more willing to cooperate.
  • Arkansassy
    Provider of Facts and Logic
    Posted by Superman77
    Posted by Arkansassy
    Posted by Superman77
    Posted by Arkansassy
    Posted by Superman77
    Posted by Arkansassy
    lmao @ "Comrade"


    But what did you think about the advice?


    Kind of.. Be open and honest but pick your battles

    Would you say conflict avoidance was the reason for your first divorce?



    No sir


    Wouldn't you agree that a lack of communication is what leads to divorce though? You don't just wake up one day and say you're done.


    I don’t think it’s a lack of communication. I think what is communicated isn’t effective and it’s because of ego
    click to expand


    Arguing over pointless things and not giving an inch?

    That in itself is a lack of communication. But I would also say that that stems from bigger issues which even the best of communication can't fix.
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