No that's quite alright....that's why I come to this site...for honest and open opinions
Currently the situation stands at "exclusive", however, nothing has changed - I dont see him more, he doesnt contact me more but apparently we are only seeing one another...same old, same old wishy washy Libran yes.
But for now, that's ok - its not like anything has changed but at the end of the day, I dunno why he committed to exclusive - its not like I was pushing him....although I guess he realised I might be walking soon.....we'll see but yeah, life is ok
Thanks for your input, appreciate it very much....like I said, its good to see others' perspectives
Sun: Sag Rising: Cap Moon: Taurus Merc: Sag Venus: Sag Mars: Cap Jupter:
37 years old female
i feel like every guy i meet and date is emotionally unavailable...and i keep getting into these situations where these guys are like "i'm not ready to be serious right now...but then i met you...and now i'm not sure what to do."
and every time that happens...we'll keep dating and i will get more invested and so will he, but then one day he pulls back and says "whoa, whoa. this is getting too serious, it's not what i wanted." and then they leave and i have to deal with that. or when they decide they are ready...they just aren't ready to be serious with ME.
it's never turned into a serious relationship for me if that's how it is at the beginning. and i always think i just need to be patient...but you can't change someone. they gotta do that on their own. it's more about how long you're willing to be there. i felt like i wasted a lot of time being patient...but at least i learned to just walk away from someone who isn't ready.
I will put it to you the way Miranda from Sex and the City said it:
Men are like cab drivers, they have a little light that says on duty and off duty. Some men can go their whole lives dating and having relationships but never have their light on (meaning they are ready for committment). And the moment you find a guy with their light on, whammo! he proposes. it isnt fate. he just had his light on. it's random chance.
on the flip side, most women go their entire lives with their light on, maybe they should cut it off sometimes.
"Silly, Loving, Caring, and Friendly :) I am a lovely Scorpio Girl...
41 years old female from United States
This is a shame...I myself have been pondering recently what the hell is going on with the "Emotionally Unavailable"? I just came to the simply conclusion of this. People will only do what you allow them to do. And if you allow yourself to continuoulsy be caught up in F.E's (feelings and emotions) then you are bound to stay hurt.
You can't make a person come around. They have to do that on their own. Because even if you feel like "Hey, I'll just love this person anyway". You will ultimately be the one getting hurt because you're the one putting your all into whatever you two may have going and that person only puts in half-because they are the "Emotionally Unavailable" ones. Not you.
I say-Do a self-reflection and let it go. I'm speaking from experience here trust me. Because nothing hurts more than loving someone that cannot love you back.
" Western Astrology Sun ... Scorpio 22? 57' in house 11
41 years old female from Phoenix, AZ
I am sorry, but you already know the answer to your question. You just don't want to admit it, because it requires admitting he is not the person that you want to believe that he is...
"knows that what he is doing is causing pain to those he comes into contact with" "doesnt want to hurt anybody"
And, yet he continues doing the things he KNOWS hurts those people. If he truly didn't want to hurt anyone, he would find a solution that didn't hurt them. He knows that you want a relationship with him, and says he cannot give it to you. He knows that means that any contact you have with him is in some way hurting you, and yet he continues to call you, text you, see you, etc... Does he REALLY care about not hurting you, or does he merely care about himself?!?
He is ultimately being selfish, whether he consciously realises it or not.
You already said it best: "My God...talk about an excuse for behaving badly!!!"
He is not "emotionally unavailable". He is screwed up and selfish...period. And, on some level, he is using you (and will most likely do the same to whatever other women take your place), again whether he realises it or not. This is not something that you can "fix" or help him with. The only person that can truly help a person like that is themselves...
I suppose that there are some truly "emotionally unavailable" men / people out there, but those are not the ones continuing or desiring half-chickened, on-again / off-again, half-in / half-out relationships with people they supposedly care about on some level and who they know want more than they can offer at that time...
When you are "emotionally unavailable" and someone (say, perhaps...L#2) makes it clear that they like you and want more than you can offer, would you in any possible way act the way that the man you described above does / has? Perhaps the answer lies in that question...