You're probably absolutely correct, SG .. that would certainly explain why he has no desire to sleep with a woman .. actually, if this is the case, then I'm happy for him. If he has been hiding these feelings from himself and now can express them, then that's a good thing.
Eventhough we have our marital problems, I still want him to be happy. If sleeping with men makes him feel complete and a whole person .. then he has my blessing.
Positively ZERO .. he doesn't know that, though .. poor guy. His lover is another man, though, so, that's probably exactly what he needs. Just sex, no feelings.
As soon as I get out of here .. my aim is to find another man. There's no question in my mind about that. At the moment, I'm trapped .. but, that's only a temporary situation. I'm just bidding my time at the moment .. in the meantime, since I know he's screwing some guy up the ass .. he will NEVER, I repeat .. N E V E R .. put that "thing" any in hole on my body.
"do you think your resentment / bitterness about your hubby was built up from the fact that he cheated before? Was that why you withheld sex with him? are things improving with him now?"
No, probably the other way around .. he has a lover because I won't do him.
He doesn't make love .. he only treetrunks .. and can't comprehend the difference. Finally, over years, I gave up. I can do myself, I really don't need his "tool" to accomplish that. So, I cut him off .. now, he has a lover. To me it's not really cheating, since I don't want him for this purpose. To me, cheating means something is being taken away from you that YOU want, but, it's being given to somebody else.
I don't want it .. so, it's not cheating me out of anything .. no loss.
Planetary positions planet sign degree motion Sun Taurus 6?22'37 in house 1
I personally could forgive a partner who cheated but NEVER forget. I would spend the rest of my days watching his every move, just waiting for him to mess up again, so i suppose for me it wouldn't be worth staying in the relationship after that because it would be more of a jail sentence for both of us.
"(I define cheating as him doing something with someone else that he would not do in front of me with a licensed and loaded gun in my hand.)"
P-Angel, I agree. Once a man commits to being my man, he should find it EASY to say "No" to another. Of course others will be attractive, but if I can do it (just say "No.") so can he. It's not hard, and there is no excuse good enough, imo, for cheating on me.
(I define cheating as him doing something with someone else that he would not do in front of me with a licensed and loaded gun in my hand.)...(lol)...
And, like you've said scopio, he should never let me know of it (pregnancy and/or disease is a whole other matter though), because it would be over between us. I would take it to my grave, and he would NEED to get away from me.
fool me once - shame on you. fool me twice - shame on me."
fool me three times, and I'll cut yo ass"
I was just thinking about this too, yesterday. I came to the conclusion that if I was with someone who cheated on me I would forgive them but never be with them again. I just could not be with someone who has cheated on me, all trust is lost and my suspicious nature would get the best of me.
Once you stay with someone who has cheated, and begged you to take them back, and promised up one wall and down the other NEVER to do it again. Has cried and told you how sorry they are and how important you are to them, and what a stupid mistake they made....it's simple. NEVER beleive their lying ass again, and always be prepared for it to happen again. Guard your heart, and when they take one step over the line leave them forever without looking back. Forgiveness doesn't have to be stupid!
If you're laying in bed late at night and someone breaks into your house, are you going to show them where you keep your silver?
How about at a dinner party and you know that one of your friends is in need of money real bad and has the potential to steal from you .. are you going to show them where you keep your mad money tucked away under a sock?
If you stay with a person to whom you know is unfaithful and they screw somebody else .. you've cheated yourself out of self-respect.
It's insane, the amount of people who come in here and cookiemonster about their boy/girl friend cheating on them .. AND THEY STAY.