Just curious. I've lurked here a bit and at Seduction Central. Seems livelier here so I'll take a chance at posting.
I am about to end a 2 year relationship with a Scorpio male. I'm on the Aries/Taurus cusp (April 20). I love him, but he seems to indicate that he cannot thrive with a woman who wants to be:
a) faithful b) truthful c) reliable d) a partner
He did not say this in so many words, but he admitted to me one day that he missed that the "challenge" was gone with us. In other words, that he knew I loved him and had his back. He said he wanted that all his life, but that some part of him yearns for the unattainable. He mentioned a recent-ish ex who seems to have been made by elves or something. She was lovely, but screwed around with every man she saw and told him about it, because she "believed" they were "just friends." He says that on just about every level, he knows that a relationship with her was and would be doomed and that the two biggies for him, trust and honesty, were not present in her, but that some part of him twigged to that excitement thing, knowing that he was better than her other conquests when she was with him. Sort of a "she chose me out of all those guys!" type deal, but that would only last until, well, she chose someone else. Which happened, hmm, like in a 48 hr time period.
So I told him that if that's how he felt, then we were through. He then sort of panicked and said that he loved me and felt comfortable and good with me, and that the part of which he spoke was a "tiny" part. I don't know though. I've read people's thoughts on Taureans - and Aries, for that matter, and I can't speak to all that, but I know MY love isn't something I dole out like a prize at a county fair. It takes a long time to earn it. And if he's saying that being loved and treated nicely by a good woman is 99 percent okay only, I'm not sure I'm with that. He has been calling me nonstop - 24 calls just yesterday, 10 so far today - and I have not answered, not sure I will. I feel conflicted. I DO love him, but I'm not going to change myself. If he wants a challenge, he can do the NYT Sunday Crossword. If he wants a good woman, he knows where to find me ... I am just wondering if he is calling so much because he is trying to do just that? ...
Thanks, Emeraldgem. That's good advice. I do need more time to think on this. I do care much about him, but he is VERY similar to your Scorp - out of on-again, off-again nonsense. Before he committed to me, he even thought about proposing to the ex I mentioned, just to get her to sit still (thinking on it, she's a Gem, too, I believe. Hee!) Only to find out she was shtupping someone in his same firehouse. That decided it for him - hit too close to home.
He must long for some sort of stability or he wouldn't bother, but I don't like being told that being a loving partner isn't enough.
Scorpio_rising, I considered that - that I am inadvertently giving him the drama he so craves. That's why I want to think on this a bit more and give a concrete answer, because I'm not going to perpetuate nonsense. I really don't have the time.
Ha, I have no compunctions about using my real name 🙂 Also, I really couldn't think of anything catchy. A Bull-Ram with a Pisces moon and Leo rising ... eh, nothing jumped out at me.
Scorpio_rising, I'm confused - a man would not want something stable and loving? Or this man does not? I am pretty straightforward - maybe as a water sign, you consider it shallow? I don't go to a poisoned well to drink. That's just dumb. So I don't see the point of a man pursuing a woman he doesn't want. Again, that's just how I see it, and of course I'm seeing it as I want to see it - it's my thought process after all!
Yes, Sea Siren, he is indeed hot and built and all sorts of wonderful, yummy things. Curiously, two months in, he asked me if I liked him for more than just sex. I found that a strange question.
yeah, you know.... your dude sounds like he's into you in a dysfunctional, it-won't-work-out, first divorce guaranteed sort of way. Drama doesn't mean he's necessarily into you.
Sounds like you're the ready & loyal standby. Every guy likes a ready & loyal standby, esp. a Scorp. But is that something that's fair to you or him? I say no, bigot that I am.
Scorpio_rising, you are speaking my language. Heck no, it's not fair. I told him in all honesty that I loved with my whole heart, no games, no bullshit, no little tests or tricks, and if that was not what he was into, no probs. I admit to be confused that he says I am throwing away two good years and a great relationship over, in his words, a "tiny" part of him that seems to want to wonder if the woman he loves is going to come home to him at night.
I mean, seriously, who the hell thinks like that? He retracted that statement and said it came out "wrong." Doubtful.
Well, according to him, his Gem ex pretty much said he was good for two things - his cock and his wallet. So the genesis of the question wasn't odd, but I found it weird he was asking ME that. I do like his cock, not overly concerned about what's in his wallet, though. But I do like the whole package, and told him so.
"Curiously, two months in, he asked me if I liked him for more than just sex. I found that a strange question."
Uhhuh.....*scribbles on notepad* Did he have his little uniform on when he asked this....ahem..just trying to get a mental picture here...so as to better assist you, of course. 🙂
Sigh, Scorpio_rising, you are so right ... but what is a mindtreetrunk? At any rate, onward and upward.
Yes, Emeraldgem, she was a freewheeling Gemini, seemed like a nice girl, loved sex, nothing wrong with any of that in my eyes, but doesn't want to settle down and told him so very early on. Hmm .. A challenge?
Haha, Sea Siren, he actually was not - I've only seen him in his gear once or twice "live." It was very, very nice, I'll say that. 🙂
Am3, I know, but I love the idiot, so I guess it is taking me time to get my head and my heart on the same page. 😢
Gaurav_Aries - really? I'd never heard that. I don't know many Gems ... or Scorps either, for that matter.
No, I am not on his friends list. I go there sometimes because he DID have the cutest picture of himself in college posing with his college's mascot. And he's just changed it in the past 24 hours.
I feel sick and numb. I know i don't deserve this, but cannot stop crying. I feel stupid and weak, not a good showing for a bull.
"I feel sick and numb. I know i don't deserve this, but cannot stop crying. I feel stupid and weak, not a good showing for a bull."
You know what would make you feel better? Revenge!
Just post a picture of yourself half-naked in some website, it will be cathartic. You can't do it in myspace, though, as that would be too obvious...but where..?
I am about to end a 2 year relationship with a Scorpio male. I'm on the Aries/Taurus cusp (April 20). I love him, but he seems to indicate that he cannot thrive with a woman who wants to be:
a) faithful
b) truthful
c) reliable
d) a partner
He did not say this in so many words, but he admitted to me one day that he missed that the "challenge" was gone with us. In other words, that he knew I loved him and had his back. He said he wanted that all his life, but that some part of him yearns for the unattainable. He mentioned a recent-ish ex who seems to have been made by elves or something. She was lovely, but screwed around with every man she saw and told him about it, because she "believed" they were "just friends." He says that on just about every level, he knows that a relationship with her was and would be doomed and that the two biggies for him, trust and honesty, were not present in her, but that some part of him twigged to that excitement thing, knowing that he was better than her other conquests when she was with him. Sort of a "she chose me out of all those guys!" type deal, but that would only last until, well, she chose someone else. Which happened, hmm, like in a 48 hr time period.
So I told him that if that's how he felt, then we were through. He then sort of panicked and said that he loved me and felt comfortable and good with me, and that the part of which he spoke was a "tiny" part. I don't know though. I've read people's thoughts on Taureans - and Aries, for that matter, and I can't speak to all that, but I know MY love isn't something I dole out like a prize at a county fair. It takes a long time to earn it. And if he's saying that being loved and treated nicely by a good woman is 99 percent okay only, I'm not sure I'm with that. He has been calling me nonstop - 24 calls just yesterday, 10 so far today - and I have not answered, not sure I will. I feel conflicted. I DO love him, but I'm not going to change myself. If he wants a challenge, he can do the NYT Sunday Crossword. If he wants a good woman, he knows where to find me ... I am just wondering if he is calling so much because he is trying to do just that? ...