How to show a scorpio woman you love her?

I'm having trouble with my scorpio lady, im a cap guy and need some help/suggestions in the love department. I'm thinking she is feeling neglected. We haven't had our first kiss yet, so any suggestions for making the first move with a scorpio female would be great! I don't want to screw up with her at all. She is very special to me : )

She told me she was going to hang out with another dude....I took that as a hint to change how I was being with her.

What is emotional blackmail? How do I tell the difference?

"What is emotional blackmail?"


"She told me she was going to hang out with another dude...."

That ^^^ is. (Unless the context is entirely different to what I'm thinking. Best for you to elaborate on why she said so)

"How do I tell the difference?"

Didn't you say you've been with a few scorpios before? You should be in tune by now...if not...better start tuning in.

She said that they were just going to hang out...on a date that her friend set up for her. She said it wasn't a big deal and sort of brushed it off. We were supposed to hang out the next day but she ditched me for him!!

I'm not sure if she just wants to keep me around, or is punishing me for not making a move while we were in bed together. Please... I don't know the difference between these two...and what she is trying to do.

I'm in love with her but she doesn't know that yet.

geez...I just read what emotional blackmailers can do. She is either emotionally blackmailing me or she is trying to get something out of this cold capricorn. But I think it could be emotional blackmail. She is mad at me because I didn't call her after her date with the dude.
i'm a fool. In love with a girl who is manipulating me.

"She said that they were just going to hang out...on a date that her friend set up for her. She said it wasn't a big deal and sort of brushed it off. We were supposed to hang out the next day but she ditched me for him!!"

Ya...ok...nah...^^^ not good.

"I'm not sure if she just wants to keep me around,"

I dont know either.

"...or is punishing me for not making a move while we were in bed together."

now...if she were...that'd be pretty pathetic. I'd say she needs to grow up and you need to kick her to the curb....however...

"...I'm in love with her"

That ^^^ doesnt really help your cause.

"Please... I don't know the difference between these two...and what she is trying to do."

The story is still pretty vague cappie. There wouldnt be talk of other men if she were feeling you too. Something's amiss. Are you two in a relationship...or are you just pursuing her?

"She is mad at me because I didn't call her after her date with the dude."

And why exactly would you be required to do that? She friggin dates some other guy and you're supposed to call her afterwards?

Nah...I think you need to toughen up...in love or not...just take a step back and clear your head. Details please if you dont mind? Sun, moon, rising? Yours...

We've been friends for a few years, I've always had a thing for her. Just not been in the right place for it. Have felt sexually attracted to her for about the last month. I thought things were going well and that we would be beginning to date. I thought she was interested in me.

ME:
Rising: Scorpio
Sun:Cap
Moon:Cap
Merc:Cap
Venu:Aqua
Mars:Aqua

Her:
Rising:Aqua (just a guess)
Sun:Scorpio
Moon:Scorpio
Merc:Scorpio
Venu:Scorpio
Mars:Capricorn

I sent her a text after her date that said: "for someone who doesn't want to loose me, you sure aren't acting like it."

She got pissed spat me back a text. Called me the next day acting like she didn't know what i was talking about. Then sent me a message asking me what is wrong.
I didn't contact her until last night to see if she wanted to talk. She's acting like she is the victim.

Jeeeeezus...sorry hon...I always get the chills when I see a cap moon...and even moreso when I see a scorp moon.

Wow...you're so much cappie and she's just too much scorp...

Anyways...about the dilemma...well...with all that cap and aqua in your chart, she's probably having one hell of a time trying to read you...translation...she can't read you.

It probably frustrates her cuz she doesnt know where she stands with you....she'll likely play a few games to see how you feel cuz it's not looking like she'll be getting much from that cap moon of yours coupled with that aqua venus.

However...what's up with the not wanting to lose you comment? Did she say that? If she did, this is where I'm getting that she cant read you and she's getting frustrated.

Yeah, the night before her date...when she told me she was hanging out with this guy. I told her I was still "trying to navigate through my feelings for her". And that i was jealous that she was going out on a date with this guy. Then she said she didn't want to loose me. She said it about three times. I walked her home, we both said I love you, hugged, and I went on my way. We have a pretty deep friendship as our sign placements would suggest.

I'm cool, but she is cool too. Its hard to tell how both of us are feeling. But I will tell you one thing, I'm feeling everything right now!!!
Maybe she had to sting me to get to this place, and perhaps she was getting frustrated. Thanks Newbie! I really appreciate this insight, it is so hard to see when you are in it.

I texted her to talk last night, said she couldn't, I asked her when, she said "u tell me, i've been trying to reach you all week". So I gave her a day and time. Then I called her to see if she wanted to actually do something and hang out along with our talk, instead of just focusing on the talk.

oh sb, I think neither her nor I would want it any other way. I'm in love.

Yeah, honestly I had to leave the room to take care of myself... we went away on a trip together.

We are friends and she was crying about her ex, and at the time she wasn't giving me any signals that she was interested. But i'm a cap...what do I know?

I've slept in her bed many times. It was platonic at first. Ugh....

I should have made a move then!!!!

Chill out hon...you'll have plenty of opportunity to make your moves...seeing as the two of you are pals.

Transitioning from friends to lovers is NOT an easy thing to do. It could make or break your friendship.

Things just sorta...get complicated once you've done the deed...so to speak. Tread carefully. I just think you need to get vocal with her first. She's already your friend. Communication should be easy, no?

Well...when my relationship transitioned from friends to lovers he disappeared for 2 weeks or something like that...so...yeah...it can be tricky.

You can never go back.

"And that i was jealous that she was going out on a date with this guy. Then she said she didn't want to loose me. She said it about three times. I walked her home, we both said I love you, hugged, and I went on my way. We have a pretty deep friendship as our sign placements would suggest."

I missed that ^^^. I think she's thinking along the lines of being afraid to lose you as a friend...which is what I mentioned about transitioning.

Newbie, if your experience is to communicate before any physical contact is initiated then I will heed that advice. She wants to talk...and I want to talk. So we have made that much progress. I just sent her a text that told her I missed her. Its the truth.

I wouldn't mind, at this point if the relationship did get ruined by trying to make the transition. Why is it so difficult? Is there anything you think I should know to make the transistion?

I'm just so in love with her that I can't see anything else.

you know what i would do? tell her you want to take her somewhere but be mysterious about it. then take her to a place where they sell jewelry. try to make it some place unique too. then just say "what do you like baby?" choose a piece of jewelry with her. give her your input too . make it collaborative. then buy that shit for her.

She is afraid to loose me as a friend if lovers doesn't work out as I am presuming. I'm willing to put our friendship on the line. My love for her is a room that needs a light. She is my light!

I'm totally aware about how I feel..now. Maybe it took this guy for me to figure it out. I've never felt so strongly about anyone.

"Why is it so difficult?"

Well...it wasn't for me personally but you're dealing with a scorpio...and more importantly a scorp moon. They are friggin emotional about everything...especially sex. They feel it on an astral level so once they've gone there with someone they care about, they sorta lose themselves and then begins the struggle to find control again.

It becomes difficult for you...cuz then they start acting chaotic...moody....I dont know how to explain it...but they just change in their behaviour. Scorp moon that is not in control is a scary moon...lol

I see. I'm aware of some of her scorpio tendencies, Which is why I kinda wanted her to make a move, so she felt in control of the situation.

I'm going to get her some of her favorite flowers. But she did, ditch me for that other guy on a day that was planned for us. I have to let her know that is not going to happen again.

I think you need to have that talk first...before the flowers thing. Talk about the two of you...and throw in your feelings about being ditched. Just get it all out. Then move on from there.

Although, when you're giving her your piece of mind about ditching you...try not to make her feel like you feel negatively about her. Just let her know you care but there's certain things you wont put up with.

Then after that talk you can do the flowers thing.

Thanks newbie, this was awesome advice.

I'll be sure and let you know how it goes. I'm going to go and listen to some rick astley! lol!

No problem hon...good luck.

You need to just tell her how you feel. Tell her that you love her. She told you about the other guy to get a reaction from you, to see if you care. You probably give her no indication that you care so she doesn't know. I dated a cap before and he was so unemotional and that led me to say that i would never date another one. He never did nice things for me and was so unavailable. Two years after we stopped dating he told me that he loved me and was just scared. What is that all about? If you love this girl stop wasting time and tell her. Send her some flowers.

We set up a time to talk and she just ditched me again!!! Yikes! Punishment for not being more feeling? Punishment for not talking to her for a week?

This just seems too hard.

I don't know what to do. I love her but not sure if now is the time to be a feeling person.

lol

She has you well and truly hooked. She knows exactly what she is doing.

Youre playing her game by her rules.

If youre not emotional enough - how can you really relate to her deeply? It is what us Scorpios want and need - A deep profound meaningful relationship.

I also sense some neediness in your responses. This is a huge turn off.

She is also testing you to see whether or not you get jealous of her being with other guys. It seems (in her eyes) that you dont really care at all if you dont act a little bothered.

You should act like a catalyst - I agree with someone above - send her flowers. Be the better MAN and take the higher road. We want Gentlemen not big boys!

?We set up a time to talk and she just ditched me again!!! Yikes!?

Ok hon...time for Plan B. Sounds like she's gone into the place I like to call the ?moody? cave. Now, when they go into that moody cave it's a signal that they want to be left alone...so just leave her alone. Don't call her...don't do anything. Let her sit there and sulk.

She probably doesn't even know what she's sulking about...and it may not even have anything to do with you. Logic would have told her to call you and re-schedule, however she's not reacting on logic...she's reacting on emotions.

So forget about flowers...cuz she'll just make you feel even more like crap cuz she wont be flying back into your open arms with a big grin on her face. You cant do anything for her right now...cuz even if you reach out, she'll pull back further. So just leave her be.

When she's sulked and analysed enough, she'll come out of her cave and look for you. THEN you can address her behaviour regarding poor verbal communication.

Let it rip.

?Punishment for not being more feeling? Punishment for not talking to her for a week??

Hon, don't do this to yourself. Always assume you're innocent until proven guilty.

And when found guilty you'll most likely be confronted by scorpio psycho angst...which usually presents itself when they suddenly explode on you over something that probably happened a year ago.

?This just seems too hard.?

Awwww cappie...it is. They'll test your patience to no end.

?I don't know what to do.?

Don't do anything. Just get on with your life.

??love her but not sure if now is the time to be a feeling person.?

Yes, I love my hubby too, but when he starts acting like an ass, those feelings are cast aside and I pretty much tell him like it is.

Don't worry about her thinking you're cold. I've been called cold as well, but ya know what? He refuses to leave and even after all these years of ridiculous fighting...ups and downs...emotional rollercoasters...he still says he's in love. So I'm guessing something must be working for him.

Besides, if you're expected to put up with her mood swings and tantrums, she sure as hell better learn to accept the fact that you don't wear your emotions on your sleeve...AND deal with it.

So in conclusion, no this is NO time to be a feeling person. Not until she gets her act together and comes looking for you...which she will if you just back off now. I promise you that.

whoops!

I messaged her after she messaged me saying she couldn't make it. Basically said now or never, which she didn't respond to. I realized the error of my actions, called and left a message letting her know I would be here for her if she needed.

I"m still in love so i'm still in this. At this point I HAVE to wait for her to contact me. I'm backing off, no more contact.

Through this battle I'm coming out stronger than before, despite the pain it has caused.

I really don't usually go through this with women. Being a cap I always...and I mean always let the lady lay down her cards first. I've done the playing life style and i'm finished with it for now.

Yup, this one scorp has CAPtured me. For better or worse.

Regarding an earlier comment about my experience with scorps; both my parents are scorpios. But that is another story. They are divorced now. I could probably write a book about it.

"I messaged her after she messaged me saying she couldn't make it. Basically said now or never, which she didn't respond to. I realized the error of my actions, called and left a message letting her know I would be here for her if she needed."

Bad cappie !!!

"At this point I HAVE to wait for her to contact me. I'm backing off, no more contact."

Yep.

"Through this battle I'm coming out stronger than before, despite the pain it has caused"

Hon, anyone that survives life with a scorp comes out stronger.

"both my parents are scorpios. But that is another story. They are divorced now. I could probably write a book about it."

Haha...I once counselled a scorp-scorp couple. I personally think when it goes bad it's worse than any other combination going bad. The games...the secrets...ugh...the memory of it all just makes me cringe. And they had this poor little daughter in the middle of it all.

I think that scorp parents have no idea how much turmoil they are putting their kids through. Or maybe they just feel that they are getting a head start on the real world.

I knew the divorce was a good idea, they told me and I was like GREAT!!!! you guys are unhappy!

Its been years but they still talk about each other negatively and positively. Still connected on some level I guess.

"I messaged her after she messaged me saying she couldn't make it. Basically said now or never, which she didn't respond to. I realized the error of my actions, called and left a message letting her know I would be here for her if she needed."

Bad cappie !!!

Yeah sometimes I get mad at her and take it out on her. Not often and she usually forgives me because she knows its coming from a painful place, and isn't in character for me. Maybe happens about once a year, when she knows i'm vulnerable. I apologized on the message. We seem to have an understanding that if the other is mad for some reason, then its usually a mis-communication thing. Not a personal thing.

^^^ sounds like you're in tune with each other. Which is a good thing...cuz then the fights wont really kill the relationship. Scorps hold on for dear life...lol

And I imagine cappies are loyal too ? I dont know...I dont know much about cap suns but my dad's a scorp with a cap moon and he's um...well...not...exactly loving. He's a pretty cold, emotionless scorp....if one ever existed...lol.

Extremely controlling and vindictive too.

Caps are totally loyal, not all of them, but I am for sure.

I sort of think the controlling thing has to do with feeling vulnerable and *gasp* not in control. Its really just hiding a soft side, and that soft side is never nurtured in men. So it sort of is an overcompensation. Sounds like the guy always has his shields up! Its hard to be an emotional guy.

Ok.

We just set up another time to talk.

Sweet jesus, why haven't they named a roller coaster ride a "scorpio" yet. That would scare most folks.

Haha...hon I've been on mine for soooo long it has a name of its own.

One of those vertical ones that descend into a black hole.

Well...I hope you actually get to talk this time. 🙂

Caper - you seem to have a good relationship with her (or Did in this case).

Why ruin it? Maybe give it some time and see what develops.

Have you actually tried asking her directly what is up with her?

Right now she said that she doesn't know what I want to talk to her about, regarding the ditching thing and hanging out with this other guy. I dissapeared for a week after she told me about this other dude and she informed me that she was very hurt by my dissapearance.

"Have you actually tried asking her directly what is up with her?"

Yeah, i've tried, she doesn't pick up the phone, or tries to get out of talking to me.

Right now everything is all good, says she wants to see me and straighten things out.

"Why ruin it? Maybe give it some time and see what develops."

I have a problem with her dating another guy. It kills me. I supposed she could date both of us. But I don't like that either.

"Scorps and direct confrontation?? "

They like to think they're direct...hehe

"For end result, make sure you act like you dont care much,"

In my case, it's the only thing that's kept me sane...I act like I love him...then I dont...lol...I'm true to my aquarian moon...keep him guessing.

"After scorp-intervention in my life, and after realization that confusion and crying are not going to take me anywhere,"

Hahaha...I learnt that too...many moons ago. Which is why I say...when you survive a scorp you only get stronger.

''Right now everything is all good, says she wants to see me and straighten things out.
''


''Scorps and direct confrontation?? both dont fit S-Sting''

Directi confrontation is a good thing. It gets things out in the open. If you are direct and honest with us and we will be back. Ive found that when people are honest about themselves (and we usually pick up liars) then we would respect this person abd ne honest ourselves. It is only when we Know that people are being deceptive or superficial - this is when the games start. We know instinctively whether or not someone is trying to 'capture'us as it were. We do tend to think a lot - so if we feel like we are being caged - it wont be long before we look for a way out (secretly).

M&m gem - I quite like your idea of a strategic plan. But make sure the intentions are honourable though - otherwise she will soon pick up on it.

This is exactly what I love about my Cancer man - hes very strategic in the way he deals with me. He does it so well that I feel wonderful because he is genuine and his love is real. When I am angry, he handles me with bravado, in a calm and collected manner.

''''Right now everything is all good, says she wants to see me and straighten things out.
'''

Keep us updated. Hope it goes well for you.

WOW!
This sounds verbatim what I am going through, right down to the fact that i just spent the night at my cappies place, in the same bed, no moves.
i'm ok with it though. the one thing that i've learned so far, is that nothing ever happens by force. and force includes intent. if you are making decisions based on how you "think" the other one thinks or feels, you'll never really know. getting out of the way is the best way to see what's there. it is confusing and difficult sometimes to read you Caps, but i also know how difficult i can be too. Aloof is one of many things we have in common.
i feel so strongly for this man, that i find i have to keep myself busy just to keep from drowning in fantasy. i am more interested in what's real, and what the universe has in store for us.
keep me posted on you sitch. the similarities are uncanny.

Caper:

I'm a Cancer and I've been with my Cap for 10 years and the one thing that's missing for me is passion, affection and romance. He's a great provider, wonderful father, a great friend, but he's not an emotional person and can be aloof at times. I don't know if it's in Cap men to have an emotional side (regarding intense passion, affection, etc.), but I'm working on mine with what I need to be fulfilled in our relationship. So far...hitting a brick wall?LOL!

I can't speak for Scorp women, but the friends that I have that are Scorp's need intense passion and affection in a relationship. They love to feel adored and wanted. That's something I don't know if a Cap man is capable of. I could be wrong I'm only speaking from my personal experience. If you're able to give her the passion and affection she needs...I say GREAT!

What I will say about Cap men is that when you get one to fall in love with you...There's in nothing in this world that they won't do for you. They are very loyal and will do eveything on their power to make sure you're happy. Except show their emotion. LOL!!!!!!

on=in oops!

uh oh, another one bites the dust...

I'm only passionate once i'm in a secure relationship, so I know i'm not cold forever, i'm aloof. If I don't know how the other person is feeling, I don't throw my cards out. And I won't put myself out there.

The only thing different with this situation is i'm learning to be a little more aggressive about my needs. And maybe she doesn't want me at all. We've known each other for 4 years, if she's manipulating me then she knows I'm gone. I've already threatened her twice because of her recent actions. It seemed to work, i've gotten more out of her in the last two days than in the last two years.

"Caper, if there is another dude in the picture, it means that she is not into you like that. She maybe ok with you but has no serious plan with you. I always suggest people to only deal with a scorpio who's completely into, night even slightly, completely. That's the only way you want a scorpion in your life. Under any other condition, you'll end up with not much left in you."

I would give the same advice to anyone.
This girl is a total introvert, in the past, she has only reciprocated when someone else gave up their cards first. I"m still going for it, strategically.

Hey, I liked the virus analogy too! haha.

had the talk...

said she had NO CLUE I had feelings for her, and that she has never thought of me as more than a friend, but has to re-evaluate her relationship to me. Says she doesn't want to loose me... started crying

Says she really likes this guy. But if they go any further she is worried that I will dissapear. Says she trusts me more than anyone, doesn't know how to choose.

I guess that says it all really, I'm cool with whatever. I have no problem getting women, I just thought this one was special.
She got all touchy feely with me at the end of the night, I sort of backed off. Why get my heart more involved in something? I asked her if she wanted to take our relationship to a different level, she gracefully avoided the issue.

"another one bites the dust"
yup. This cappie is fine though, if I can bring her to tears... then there has got to be a great connection there anyway.

I'm going to find me another scorpio, i'll play til I win!