BC, that self-preservationist attitude was not something that upset me on a personal level, he's just a private person (and, OMG, is he ever - most of that has gone out the window these days though, he's practically an open book anymore with me). Now, his criticism sometimes cuts, but he does attempt to soften the blow after the fact.
To be clear, he is not materialistic, which is fine (he did ask me what I would think if he bought a Porsche, I told him I'd cry, why? because it's not practical - the answer suited him fine). However, yes, everything is about money and making money. He finds thrill in the hustle, satisfaction in landing the job and security in the dollar. Nothing wrong with that, he's hard working and I value that above all else. And, his focus on making money is by no means a distraction for him when it comes to me, he's compromised I suppose by involving me in it. Personally, I don't want to be the center of attention, I want to be of value. So, this suits me just fine. But, I'm not just that either, after doing invoices for him and being his personal adviser, we went out to dinner then to his place to watch TV, and when I was ready to leave he wanted me to stay the night (and, no, it was not for sex... I've said before, he is a gentleman in that respect. We've slept in the same bed on a few occasions without advances being made). Our g'bye's are not suggestive of a purely business relationship!
I guess regardless of anything else, it is a comfortable place to be, for the both of us, on many levels.
BTW, although it may sound like it on some level, I'm not looking at this with blinders on.
We actually met back in April (my doing, he would never have approached me, too quiet and reserved), although we didn't talk again up until we started seeing each other; which was, looking at the calendar, 5 wks ago (I spotted him and approached him again at that point). But, it feels a lot longer than that! IDK, even he thinks/feels its been considerably longer (at week 2 he thought it was closer to a month already - so, we must be approaching the 3 month mark now LOL). And, that being said, it actually doesn't feel like things btwn he and I are moving along quickly, not at all. It's a really odd feeling to have a disjuncture btwn real time and sense of time.
For the most part, he really does not strike me as all that trusting. He is very guarded in general. As he tells me, no one needs to know anything about him - week 1 he got rather irritated with me for asking place and time of birth, that was too personal and I had absolutely no right to ask him that nor did I have a need to know he told me - unless it was going to make him money.
As far as me investing in his new acquisition, it was more of an invitation. The dollar amount is nominal - not even a mortgage payment. The upkeep would be a little hard for me to maintain though, although he'd probably just make me work it off (it seems as though he is going to have me involved in helping to take care of it anyway - he seems to want me to learn and be part of that aspect of his life). He's ok if I just cheer from the bleachers though, so to speak.
lol. i didn't say he didn't trust you. i said that different people guard different parts of themselves.
i'm just using myself as an example...there are people i've told so many things about me, but they really don't know very much and i don't feel much for them. meanwhile there have been others who i've shared very few facts with, yet i feel strongly for and who i've shown the deeper part of who i am.
him showing you a lot of things about you doesn't necessarily mean anything. you could just as easily be a project as a real love interest.
or he could do the virgo push-pull and disappear after bringing you so deep into his life that it becomes yours...how would that feel?
i'm just saying that you shouldn't trust too blindly. all that glitters is not gold. or maybe it is. but if he's a good guy, i doubt he'd mind a little caution on your part. likely, he'd respect you more for it.
now, it's clear that he probably does feel safe with you...but is it because of his feelings for you, or is because he knows you don't have the power to hurt him?
i find insecure virgos a lot more likeable than confident, trusting ones. but that's just me.
Thinking about it, his new acquisition took quite the liking to me and I got my first passionate kiss goodbye this evening (he always just gives me a peck and maybe a hug before we part ways - but, this was quite different). Wow, I'm getting this feeling that I just passed some sort of test. Also, I think I'm on my way out of town with him for business on Wed... he really, really wants me to join him (12 hrs on the road together one way - that WILL be a test). Either that or he wants to slaughter me on the way given I know too much about him already .
Yeah, about the trust factor... just to briefly address CV, people in general don't give out that kind of info, and it was cash, no checks as far as the deposits.
As far as being more like appearance of trust... could be I suppose, today I spent the late afternoon at a (rather wealthy) close friend's house of the Virgo's where he tried to teach me a few things about what he's involved with business wise, and his passion otherwise; after which, he still wanted us to go to dinner (nothing like spending too much time with me); asked a friend whom he was on the phone with if they wanted to speak to me; then his kids called, so he spoke to them on speaker phone specifically so I could hear the conversation (and referred to me by name with his oldest on the phone, obviously I'm no secret there), oh and then when I asked, he clarified each of their names (first and middle - nah, no trust there); showed me all of his id's and certifications at dinner (teasing me about his date of birth - I was a year off and he's really got a Scorp moon! - I think he really just wanted me to see all of his pics and brag in a sense as they don't all have his bdate anyway); and, he checked his voice mail typing in his pin without trying to be discrete which he always listens to on speaker phone anyway (he gave one out verbally over the phone the other day in front of me as well), oh he always has his business conversations on speaker phone in my presence. He's also still interested in making me partner in the new love of his life (his new acquisition - whom I fell in love with as well).
So, maybe, just maybe he is just trying to make me think he trusts me... yeah, that's it.
seems more like appearance of trust than actual trust.
an account number isn't all that powerful. you'd need quite a bit more than that to actually get at anything. social security number, ID number, birthday, mother's maiden name, possibly different phone numbers or addresses (my banking mailing address is different from the address on my checks, which is my legal address on my id, which is again an entirely different place from where i actually live, thanks to several relatives that are nice enough to forward me mail. for example), phone numbers, maybe even passwords. i added a password to my account for phone transactions just the other day when i realized someone could access it with only my id number and social, which anyone i've worked for has.
worst you might be able to do is online purchases, but even then, if you did anything, you'd be a criminal and subject to all sorts of nasty legal charges.
and what's a deposit? how much is that? is it checks? so what, i deposit my mom's paychecks for her all the time. i couldn't do anything with it, worst i could do is not deposit it at all and leave her screwed when she's got to pay her bills, but i couldn't take it for myself. even if you're depositing cash, i doubt it's all that much. no more than he'd be willing to lose, certainly.
so it looks like he trusts you, when in reality he might not.
basic psychology...make someone think you trust them, and they will trust you in return. seriously, try it. it can be a lot of fun.
i think you should be careful.
virgos may care about money, but not that much. they like to work. they like to have money. they like to advance and to feel secure and all that. clearly, he feels secure about you in regards to money. but that doesn't mean much. he clearly feels secure in general as far as money is concerned.
virgos are a lot more guarded with their feelings than anything like money. if you want to know how much he trusts you, i'd look at things that might matter more...friends and family, lending you things he's got sentimental attachments to, stuff like that.
i'm a libra. i'm crazy open about my feelings and stuff. but ask me my last name or where i live or the email addresses besides the one i've given you...then you'll know if i really trust you or not. ask for passwords. see if you ever meet my dad.
we all have things we guard.
they aren't the same for everyone. that's the key.
BC, THAT, I think, would result in him questioning me as a person... why would I bring it up? I'm looking for different opinions here on DXP, but to question him personally about it, IDK, he may find a little off beat as when he talks about these things it comes off as completely natural, just normal conversation with me. And, I'm good with it, it's just very different to have a conversation of that sort with someone you're not already vested in. He jokingly said he purchased his last acquisition for me (he didn't, but still - after discussions of me investing and us being partners and that it probably wouldn't work for me, he said he could still put it in my name). Maybe I'm more of a business interest, with a romantic interest secondary??? Now, THAT, would be so Virgo... LOL
Another thing that gets me, I was brought into his financial world largely before being introduced to or told of other aspects of his life... it's seems somewhat backwards, especially since he doesn't know a great deal about me.
Exactly the reasons I'm asking - I'm feeling a little awkward with how comfortable he is with his money around me and his openness with me about financial dealings. He gave me his bank account number and trusted me to make deposits for him when he's been short on time. I'm just not sure what to make of it as it does not strike me as very Virgo like.