Enlighten me Virgo's...

I Recently started seeing a Virgo, early stages so no biggy, but I am kind of wondering If I should even bother. He kept pursuing me for a good 6-8 months to go on a date with him. It wasn't overbearing and obsessive. I would just get a message from him once or twice every month to see what I was up to and suggest we hang soon. I finally agreed and we had just a really casual meeting (I prefer this then a stuffy dinner date for when you're just starting to get to know someone). We had a great time and we both agreed that we didn't think we would be out that late, talking and getting to know one another. He gave me a kiss when he dropped me home (nothing else) and then text me as soon as he got home saying "Definitely worth the wait". He went away the next day for 3 weeks for work but did return the weekend of my birthday (half way through his work trip) and wanted to catch up, though I had organised plans with my friends so I was busy.

I find his communication through messages kind of bleak and I hate small talk, so I do reply most of the time when there is something to reply to, but it is usually short because he hasn't given me much to work with. This has caused a problem, the first time he messaged me saying "he hated games" to which I asked if he was joking or being serious as I didn't understand where this was coming from. He then asked me why I don't text him. I told him I am not much of a texter and I hate small talk (Though in saying that, I've sat there with one male friend all day, over 50+ texting hilarious movie quotes back and fourth and stirring one another, so I am capable of texting on occasions, as long as you give me something to work with).

So we finally caught up again for a second time and it was good again, though I always feel like I have to take the reigns and initiative on things to do or places to go, despite him being the one to suggest seeing each other(Do virgo men have no planning skills or something—). He text me again when he got home and wished me a goodnight. The following day he asked me if I wanted to go down to this little beach town about an hour or so from where we live, as it was one of his friends 25th birthday and they were celebrating down there. I told him I would see and let him know. But I had things I had to take care of on the Saturday and just messaged him that day saying "Have a good weekend and message me when you get back". He replied with "Are you not coming" and I told him I couldn't and had t

Continuing** I couldn't and had things to take care of (I didn't delve into it, I barely know the man and quite frankly what I had to deal with was rather personal). He responded with "lame" and a thumbs down emoji. It kind of threw me of that he just replied with that, however I couldn't be bothered dealing with it so I wished him a good weekend again and left it. He messaged again saying "I'm just doing what you do" followed by "annoying huh". This is in reference to some of my replies to his messages where I might just put a thumbs up or some other form of emoji. I found this kind of immature that he was trying to imitate me, when I don't respond to his text's on purpose to annoy him, it is just how a respond.

We didn't really speak the rest of the weekend until Sunday night. I was a little drunk with a girlfriend and asked him why he acts so chill when I'm with him but so different when I am not. He replied that he doesn't but that I make him nervous. I asked why and he replied "I dunno, maybe because you're a babe". I told him not to be nervous and that I like him and he said he liked me too. conversation didn't get much further then that and on Monday I messaged him just saying "I really need to create an app that prevents you from texting when drinking" just for a laugh but his reply was just "yeah might be a good idea" and haven't heard from him since.

It's funny that he says he hates games but I honestly feel like that is all he does. Or maybe he's just not that keen anymore. I have a tendency to remove all negative energy from my life and I am starting to feel like his behaviour is being negative or having a negative effect on me, as he is always questioning me and over thinking my actions etc, So I was thinking of just blocking him. He's either playing immature games or he's not interested, so why bother right? Or can some Virgo enlighten me on his behaviour?

He's not playing games.

You just seem very.."I can take you or leave you" about him.

Doesn't seem like you're going out of your way to include him in your life.

Posted by scorpvixen
I told him I am not much of a texter and I hate small talk (Though in saying that, I've sat there with one male friend all day, over 50+ texting hilarious movie quotes back and fourth and stirring one another, so I am capable of texting on occasions, as long as you give me something to work with).

So basically it's not that you're not a texter but don't feel the need to meet him halfway. You even make sure to note that you actually can text, as long as the other person gives you something to work with. No interest from your part at all.

You seem to be high maintenance and that's not something Virgo appreciates in our partners. Find someone to pursure you relentlessly without reciprocation on your part and you'll be happy.

dont go there... you will be doomed!

Posted by scorpvixen
The following day he asked me if I wanted to go down to this little beach town about an hour or so from where we live, as it was one of his friends 25th birthday and they were celebrating down there. I told him I would see and let him know. But I had things I had to take care of on the Saturday and just messaged him that day saying "Have a good weekend and message me when you get back". He replied with "Are you not coming" and I told him I couldn't and had t

So from the day he asked you to come on Saturday until Saturday you had no time to call him and tell him whether you can make it or not? He didn't even get a call but a message on Saturday..in which you didn't even say "Well I can't make it.", he had to ask you precisely if you're coming or not because it seemed like you completely forgot/dismissed his invitation for Saturday and you just sent a generic text message.

Wow, just when I think the entitlement attitude couldn't get worse in society..someone comes and proves me wrong.

@Damnata - I couldn't obviously type the whole story, we would be here all day. But I have stepped out of my comfort zone to try to start conversations through out the day, because he mentioned me not texting. But when I did, I asked him how his day was or was it yet to be over? and he said it was yet to be over by a long shot and he would text me when he finish's. So then that kind of made me put a halt to that because I understand he is busy at work and I didn't want to annoy him.

I mentioned the messages between myself and my guy mate to prove that I am capable of texting, but that is a rare occasion for me, it doesn't happen on the regular.

As for being included in my life, my birthday weekend was pre organised and tickets needed to be purchased for that as we were going to an event, so I obviously couldn't invite him. Not going to his friends birthday was due to a biopsy I needed for my cervical cancer, which I didn't feel was any of his business to know this, especially this early on as that would probably freak anyone out.

As for being high maintenance, I am probably the furtherest thing. I don't expect messages throughout the day or phone calls (I'm not a fan of interaction through technology), I don't expect him to take me on extravagant dates, I don't need to see him regularly or complain that I don't. I've only seen him twice over the 5 week period since our initial date and I haven't mentioned any concerns with that to him because I'm not concerned, it's only early days.

I always seem to get told that I don't seem to care or like the guys, by others and by them. This infuriates me because unfortunately I just suck at showing any emotions. I have emotions but people don't see them. My best friend has seen me cry once in the 13 years she has known me and that was when HER boyfriend cheated on her and I was crying because she was hurting.

I just want to live in the 90's where people couldn't text you all day, and wouldn't question you when you didn't favourite their instagram photo or whatever it should be. When times were easy and the guy you were seeing would have to call your home phone or you'd call theirs, to arrange plans. All this technology has ruined shit. People expect too much.

@Damnata Oh and no he asked me the Friday, so the day prior to Saturday.

@Chococream - I suspect you have experience, please elaborate??

@Damnata - This isn't a case of self entitlement. I had something personal going on that day. Sure I knew I had that on and could have declined his offer the afternoon prior when he asked but I had hopes I'd be finished early and could go down. The morning came, the procedure was more painful then I had thought it would be and I just wanted to go home and sleep it off. I didn't want to go into it with him, So I thought a nice little message telling him to have a good weekend and hint that I wasn't coming would be good enough without having to go into the information.

Seeing it from your point of view, not knowing all that is going on (same as he doesn't), I can understand that he probably thought the same thing.

I am adverse to texting too. The way you presented the story in the first 2 posts it seemed like he was the only one calling you and most of communication was via text. Not my favorite medium of communication.

I understand you being reluctant to share something that personal with him, but the way you went about it seemed like a brush off, like you dismissed him. Say someone invites you out and you cannot make it and you're dealing with something personal. Virgos understand that, it wasn't that he was bugging you for details but he wanted to see some type of reciprocation. He didn't need you to explain why you can't make it at great length but at least suggest a different outing, something to make him see he isn't barking up the wrong tree here and you are warming up to him and liking him.

Just don't hint. No one is pressuring you to give the information either, it was just about making sure the other person wasn't hurt and you'd see each other at some other time. "Hey I couldn't make it. I wish I could. But I'd love to meet you next weekend. There's this festival/concert/pub/cafe etc I'd like to attend"

In any situation where there isn't certainty, the Virgo is more inclined to imagine negative scenarios than positive ones. I joke with my friends that you should never let a Virgo think/overthink because it will only be in your disadvantage. It very easy for Virgos to talk themselves out of encouraging scenarios, let alone where we think we inconvenience someone with our presence.

Just be warm and you won't see us going over the top with inquisition if you're genuine.

Fingers crossed for the biopsy.

I don't think he's playing games. Actually I think

1) you come off rather disinterested even though you are (I gonna play this off game)
2) expect him to put in most of the work, while you do little to reciprocate (chasing game)
3) when you actually had a moment of vulnerability with him you threw that mask back on:

Posted by scorpvixen

We didn't really speak the rest of the weekend until Sunday night. I...asked him why he acts so chill when I'm with him but so different when I am not. He replied that he doesn't but that I make him nervous. I asked why and he replied "I dunno, maybe because you're a babe". I told him not to be nervous and that I like him and he said he liked me too. conversation didn't get much further then that and on Monday I messaged him just saying "I really need to create an app that prevents you from texting when drinking" just for a laugh but his reply was just "yeah might be a good idea" and haven't heard from him since.

(Sh*t I showed you too much, now I have to hide again game). In essence what you did here was ask him to open up, gave him a nibble then turned around and tried to retreat by saying your disclosure was because of the alcohol. Nice.

If that had been reverse you'd tell him to piss off too. I mean how dare anyone get a Scorp to open up and then pull away the next day right, but it's okay if you do it?

He seems to like you and I think you do too, but you're trying to hold your cards too close to your chest. Even in the OP, you're trying to play it off like you can take him or leave him, yet your words suggest otherwise.

Whatever is going on with you, it sounds like you're blowing it. Scorps can be their own worse enemy sometimes....

@Damnata - Thank you. I have actually told him a few times to stop over thinking things haha. Perhaps my actions have seemed pretty dismissive to him. He did message me once saying that he didn't want to annoy me and that's how I made him feel. I just have this fear that if I open myself up too much to someone that maybe it won't work out in my favour and I'll get rejected or something, so I am pretty closed off.

From what you have said, I've taken on board that I can't be dismissive or vague about answers etc. Thanks

Posted by Damnata

You seem to be high maintenance and that's not something Virgo appreciates in our partners. Find someone to pursure you relentlessly without reciprocation on your part and you'll be happy.

+1

It's weird because I was convinced you were the princess type from your first 2 posts then the next 2 posts you showed some vulnerability and now I think the opposite.

That "Scorpios are their worst enemies" line is proved effective over and over again.

Don't take his question as an infringement on your privacy, which would bring your guard up. Just someone that cares for you and your company and is just wondering what the hell is going on. Humor and genuine affection binds Scorpio and Virgo when it's allowed to flourish.

I saw Phoenix addressed the drinking incident. I saw it the same way haha.

Posted by scorpvixen
he didn't want to annoy me

This is pretty much a Virgo's last effort, but he will keep doing it until he realizes the odds are against him or you will open up a little and let him in.

We have a pathological problem with annoying people. It's not that it's tied to our egos..just..we are aware people have lives and maybe there's someone out there who interests you more so we kind of give up. We won't confront people who don't want to share their lives with us. We see it as infringement on someone's freedom of choice. For us it's something like "So..should I gracefully walk off the stage now? I don't want to force a connection where there isn't one" which pretty much translates to "do something or say something to make your stance more clear".

@pheonixrising - I can fully see your point. Now that I actually put thought into it, I can see how that would have came across. I was just more embarrassed that I text him whilst drunk, not of what I said. I meant what I said and wasn't trying to revoke it but perhaps he saw it that way.

@Damnata - you are right, I am definitely my own worst enemy. I'm not sure how I can prove to him that I'm interested without stepping too much out of my comfort zone

Posted by scorpvixen

As for being included in my life, my birthday weekend was pre organised and tickets needed to be purchased for that as we were going to an event, so I obviously couldn't invite him. Not going to his friends birthday was due to a biopsy I needed for my cervical cancer, which I didn't feel was any of his business to know this, especially this early on as that would probably freak anyone out.

I'm wondering, did you offer an alternative day to the day he suggested for your birthday? Similar question to the friend birthday. You knew you couldn't go, yet waited until the last minute and sent a weird text. Did you suggest something else you could do on another day? If not, I think this is why people get the impression you aren't really interested.

Posted by scorpvixen

I always seem to get told that I don't seem to care or like the guys, by others and by them. This infuriates me because unfortunately I just suck at showing any emotions. I have emotions but people don't see them. My best friend has seen me cry once in the 13 years she has known me and that was when HER boyfriend cheated on her and I was crying because she was hurting.

People expect too much.

click to expand

Well if you "always" seem be told that you don't care perhaps that is something to work on improving? Especially if you're saying it is not the case or the impression you want to give. No one is saying act like an emotional basket case. I get the need to hold onto those emotions, but meeting someone half way is not the same as opening your heart and soul to another at this stage.

For example, no one would suggest that you have to tell this man why you couldn't make his friends party, but a simple "I'm sorry I won't be able to make the party, because I have a few things to take care of that day. I would still like to see you. Can we meet another day?". It show interest while repecting your privacy. That half ass text you sent made me scratch my head when I read it. I could only imagine what he thought. It came off like he was an after thought and oh yeah, "I'm not all that into you".

Saying you suck at showing your emotions doesn't give you a pass so you can stay stuck. Come on now...

My phone is slow, if I ask a question you've already answered forgive me.

As for technology, I'm not a fan either. Especially when people try to replace it with real dialogue or face to face time. However I will call the person and say exactly that. They text, I call back at some point if I can't immediately and say directly "hey sorry I didn't text back. I was bit busy and I prefer to talk to people anyway. I'd prefer it if you called me. How was your day?..." Sometimes it takes them a while to follow suit, but I keep doing it until they get me. I still try to meet the person half way if that it their thing though and I will send a quick short text occasionally.

Try to soften those sharp edges Vixen.

@pheonixrising - I didnt give an alternative, I'm guilty of stuffing up there. This is why I like this forum, makes me see a perspective that I was blind to. If someone did what he did to me, then I'd probably assume they weren't interested either. Thanks

if someone did what I did to him, to me*

Posted by scorpvixen
@Damnata - This isn't a case of self entitlement. I had something personal going on that day. Sure I knew I had that on and could have declined his offer the afternoon prior when he asked but I had hopes I'd be finished early and could go down. The morning came, the procedure was more painful then I had thought it would be and I just wanted to go home and sleep it off. I didn't want to go into it with him, So I thought a nice little message telling him to have a good weekend and hint that I wasn't coming would be good enough without having to go into the information.

Seeing it from your point of view, not knowing all that is going on (same as he doesn't), I can understand that he probably thought the same thing.

I think the issue is more about how you communicate and the message your sending. Your interest and hope to spend time later was completely lost in what you sent.

Okay, you told him you would have to see if you could make it. Fine. When you realized you couldn't a very clear "hey I'm sorry I won't be able to make it to the party after all. I had a long (rough) day and I just want to take it easy. Have a great weekend and call me blah blah blah". I'm not if sure it that's too personal for you, but I don't think so. It offeres more than the ambiguous "is she blowing me off?" text you sent.

The whole feeling crappy/physically beat thing I sort of get it. When I am having a bad month and I'm in a lot of pain I don't want to deal with people at all. In the past I was quite closed off. Now I try to make a conscious effort to communicate I need alone time while maintaining my privacy.

Okay, I'm gonna assume the Virgo has this covered because I'm reading her replies and realizing I'm just parroting what she's saying.

You're in good hands! Best of luck with your health Vixen 🙂

Posted by PhoenixRising
Okay, I'm gonna assume the Virgo has this covered because I'm reading her replies and realizing I'm just parroting what she's saying.

You're in good hands! Best of luck with your health Vixen 🙂

I wanted to make a joke about the famous Scorpio mirroring act..for a good cause this time 😛

Scorpios are just silly. They should all stop being silly 😄

If I saw him more face to face, than expressing myself wouldn't be so hard, but our schedules are a little conflicting so it's difficult. I'm going to make a conscious effort _??

Haha we are silly, what's worst is I have sun, moon, Mercury and Pluto in Scorpio, I'm one big walking contradiction. I have emotions but I gaurd them so tight, you'd think I was emotionless lol. Thanks, you lot are gems

I think Scorpios in generally have a blurred perception on how much is actually meeting someone halfway and how much is being open and putting it all on the table which frightens their arachnid feels. They are not the same thing.

Virgos respond pretty well to any clear communication, even if it's not as detailed as we wish. If it's genuine and we get the feeling you aren't purposely trying to deceive us or hide stuff or brush us off..we're cool.

Scorpios overrate the importance in everything they do and say which comes across as a heavy vibe. Softening out with humor and affection wins Virgos over. Like "Hey I know I'm some cranky bugger but I have a lot going on. Maybe we can go out and laugh and have some un and it will decrank me"

Also keep in mind since there wasn't an exclusivity talk here (early days and all) but he showed persistence for 8 months to get you to go out with him, he could easily think you might date other people on the side and he is just someone nice but easily discarded. If he gets it in his mind that you're not that into him, it's a done deal.

There doesn't have to be some big talk here, just smoothing the rough patches and enjoying yourselves and sending a message of "hey I really enjoy what we're doing here". What you can't make up in words, you can make up in your presence and the vibe you give off.

One last thing *D might have already covered this—*

Posted by scorpvixen

I'm not sure how I can prove to him that I'm interested without stepping too much out of my comfort zone

At some point (if this grows) you're gonna have to let go of that. You can't show interest while standing behind a wall forever. Virgos don't allow that. The nice thing is if it's the right Virgo, he will always make you feel safe while you walk out of that comfort zone because you won't be alone.

Posted by Damnata

Posted by PhoenixRising
Okay, I'm gonna assume the Virgo has this covered because I'm reading her replies and realizing I'm just parroting what she's saying.

You're in good hands! Best of luck with your health Vixen 🙂

I wanted to make a joke about the famous Scorpio mirroring act..for a good cause this time 😛

Scorpios are just silly. They should all stop being silly 😄

click to expand

😛

^Yeah it's funny how the Virgoan harsh attitude to criticism meets the extreme in gentleness when it comes to vulnerability.

We may not be as smooth and as accepting of people as Pisces are but we always hover around and make sure all bases are covered so you won't have to fear a thing. More of a pragmatic approach but still, when we care we just cannot help ourselves to smooth over any rough patches in someone's life.

I know some not so nice Virgos but even they aren't the type to just kick people when they're down and harm them. Pretty low risk.

He probably does think that actually @Damnata. He did mention that over those 8 months he thought I must have been seeing someone. At one point I kind of was, which I openly told him was why I never agreed to catching up. I'm the type of person that when I'm seeing someone, even with no titles, to see other people. If I like them then I can't really find interest in anyone else (I mean sheesh, one man is complicated enough for me lol).

I feel however like maybe My efforts might be coming a little to late. I messaged him earlier today, yes I was vague (still learning here) but just suggest we catch up sometime soon. I haven't heard back, which my rational side is telling me he is still at work but the realist part in me tells me he would have seen it (he always replies pretty fast to messages).

Posted by Damnata
I think Scorpios in generally have a blurred perception on how much is actually meeting someone halfway and how much is being open and putting it all on the table which frightens their arachnid feels. They are not the same thing.

+1

Posted by Damnata

Scorpios overrate the importance in everything they do and say which comes across as a heavy vibe.

click to expand

😛 everything we do and say is important!
.....and +1 (I guess)

Not to see other people*

Haha nice to get some insight from both a Scorpio and Virgo

Posted by PhoenixRising

😛 everything we do and say is important!
.....and +1 (I guess)

You guess. So full of shit 😄

haha.

I wouldn't fret yet. Virgos do like to see progress bit by bit and if he stuck for 8 months, I don't think he will throw it away in a blink. We are rational.

I think he feels slighted so he went back to the Virgo cave, filled with computers where you can input all data and stand back and compile it all.

Don't overwhelm him but don't disappear either. If he doesn't reply until Friday send him something casual, one of those private jokes people have with each other. It will send the message "I'm still here you know 😛". Or even better, call him "So I found this nice place and I won't take no for an answer. We're going out on Saturday".

Does it sound bad that I just can't be bothered. If he doesn't reply then there's a reason for him not replying and honestly that's too much drama for something that only consists of 2 dates.

Posted by Damnata

Posted by PhoenixRising

😛 everything we do and say is important!
.....and +1 (I guess)

You guess. So full of shit 😄

haha.

click to expand

Your Ram Moon loves it 😄

Posted by scorpvixen

I Recently started seeing a Virgo

... I am kind of wondering If I should even bother.

... wanted to catch up, though I had organised plans with my friends so I was busy.

... I do reply most of the time when there is something to reply to ...

He then asked me why I don't text him. I told him I am not much of a texter and I hate small talk ...

I always feel like I have to take the reigns and initiative on things to do or places to go, despite him being the one to suggest seeing each other(Do virgo men have no planning skills or something—).

He text me again when he got home and wished me a goodnight.

... he asked me if I wanted to go .... But I had things I had to take care of on the Saturday and just messaged him that day saying ...

and that's ^^^^ just the OP .. you babble on and on describing how you are inconvenienced, while blaming him for not coming to you better.

You clearly have entitlement issues .. and I'm not going to pamper your feelings like the Scorp and Virgo responding to you because I don't see how you've supported his feelings in this, so why should yours be catered to?

From what I've read, you aren't even remotely participating in a relationship with him .... rather, calculating sneaky remarks back to him for purposes of toying with him.

You even go on in the next post to insinuate that it's his fault that you can't control yourself when drunk, and that he has a responsibility in making you feel less guilty and vunerable about yourself, when clearly that is YOUR fucking responsibility.

And then make sure you are reiterating that he isn't deserving of getting equal supportive treatment from you.

That pretty much makes you an insufferable cunt who is wasting time planning her next retort intended to send him spinning .... rather than being a lady of substance, who will spend her time free of expectations and letting nature run it's course.

Ooooookay....P Angel your a piece of work at times...but I can agree on some things you state..I can also agree both with Damnata and PhoenixRising.

ScorpVixen..I also can relate..I guess it's my Scorp rising...So my input is this....

As much as you would like to shield your emotions there is no possible way of doing this with a Virgo. He wants to see what your made of and what your about. This guard you have up will send him running quickly because you seem phoney. I have had to learn to just say fuck it and open up. I have been hurt way more than I have needed to be but I realized that protecting and guarding my emotions and feelings does keep out hurt but it also keeps out possible happiness.

I am the same when it comes to texting. I mean if you are short then what am I to do with it? Face to face I can talk my ass off..but via text yeah we are stuck at a stand still and I am dating a Virgo now. He is upset that he calls me only as well as texts me first. He is saying the truth..because of his busy busy schedule I let him set that pace. When I did call he never answered, when I texted just to say hello or give a joke he never responded. If I texted something about politics which we both have in common I got crickets chirping. But when he calls both times during the day..I answer..when he texts I answer..and I give a long answer so he knows I am interested and missing him.

If I were you I would ask to meet and discuss the situation logically. No emotions..no saying how much you like him..just state that this has gotten off on the wrong foot and needs to be reset. Then if he agrees make an effort if you are sincere with your intent with him to show your interested. If he asks about seeing you a day before an event just let him know that he is coming to you on a short notice and you do have things planned but you will see what can be done to accommodate him. If you know you cannot do it by no means then state that up front and ask for a rain check. It is sincerity they look for...the fact he even asked you anywhere is big for a Virgo. Doing what you did just made him second guess himself.

Call this man up sometimes and just to leave a message of I thought I'd call to say good morning. I send videos and voice messages to the Virgo I am seeing some days. He really appreciates the effort and because I know the way he feels about the texts and calls...I go out the box to get him to smile. Dating is full of crap...it's a battle of "I don't know if I do this or that will it be wrong..and he run" but it's like anything in this world...it is a risk. Taking risks means we are mentally and emotionally able to handle the outcome. If your not prepared for that...maybe your not truly ready. Good luck!

Posted by scorpvixen
Does it sound bad that I just can't be bothered. If he doesn't reply then there's a reason for him not replying and honestly that's too much drama for something that only consists of 2 dates.

Doesn't matter how it sounds. Drama? Lol

So since you make it clear that you don't really care and couldn't be bothered to..what was the purpose of this topic?

If I wasn't remotely interested in him then I wouldn't have made this thread. I'm trying to get a better understanding of where his head is at but on the same token, I don't want to be chasing him if he's not interested.

@P-Angel - my response to his texts are not some elaborate plan like you make out, I just genuinely have nothing to say. Im old school, well for a 25 year old anyway. I think socialising through technology is a joke. and I never was trying to insinuate that texting him while drunk was his fault, how could it be?

@SpinCycle - how long have you and your Virgo been seeing one another? It just seems this constant communication barrier is always up. Neither wants to bother the other and both have a busy schedule that it makes communicating difficult and things to be easily misread.

@Damnata - it's not that I don't care, Its just easier to walk away now rather then get attached. I like the kid, maybe I just have a funny way of showing it. I was in a relationship with someone for 7 years, maybe because we started so young that things were just easy. I have a problem I guess in expecting future relationships to just be easy like that, that I end up fucking it for myself because I give up too easy when times get tough. It's a fault I'm well aware of.

Posted by scorpvixen
Does it sound bad that I just can't be bothered. If he doesn't reply then there's a reason for him not replying and honestly that's too much drama for something that only consists of 2 dates.

Yes. It sounds awful. My Scorpio Venus wants to know why you would even bother paying an ounce of attention to someone you aren't seriously interested in. I've been rooting for you reading this post and I can relate in some ways.. My husband is Virgo Sun & Venus and I am Libra/Virgo Cusp Sun & Scorpio Venus. The beginning of our relationship was similar in some ways. He gently pursued for months, I resisted and then when I was ready to get serious all if a sudden he was kind of moving along because I hadn't shown interest. It took some time! Thing is, once we got together we've been solid. Challenging for sure, but ultimately solid.

You've been offered really thoughtful, helpful, great advice here. I could add a few pointers but at least point I dont see why I should bother. It kind of seems like you could take him or leave him. :/

*this point, -not least

Posted by P-Angel

From what I've read, you aren't even remotely participating in a relationship with him .... rather, calculating sneaky remarks back to him for purposes of toying with him.

Posted by scorpvixen

@P-Angel - my response to his texts are not some elaborate plan like you make out, I just genuinely have nothing to say. Im old school, well for a 25 year old anyway. I think socialising through technology is a joke. and I never was trying to insinuate that texting him while drunk was his fault, how could it be?

I never specifically addressed your responses to his texts, rather, "relationship" responses to him.

Just another spin by you ^^^^^^ ... according to your own words, you just side step, and such as you're doing here with responses to you. You never really take accountability for your own actions.

Of course you weren't (trying) to insinuate ... you WERE insinuating that he should support your feelings of guilt for drunk texting him.

You attempt to pretend to be innocent, while your actions prove to be preconceived with intentions of slipping around the fact you aren't accepting responsibility for your own actions ... much like the typical gray lizard.

Posted by P-Angel

I like the kid

click to expand

really?


don't break your fucking neck being sincere ... we wouldn't want you to strain yourself

Crap !!!


That was your quote not mine.

Posted by scorpvixen

.... I couldn't be bothered dealing with it

.... that I make him nervous. I asked why and he replied "I dunno, maybe because you're a babe".

You not being arsed to care enough to bother has been the theme of this entire thread.

The partial sentence above is the writing on the wall .... he thinks you're a babe, which obviously stroked your ego in the right place, so now you toy with him on a string because you know you can, because you know you can use your femininity to fuck with his feelings .... because that is what cunts do.

sounds like you are not that interested and playing manipulation game.

He sense that from you and he will back off if you continue. They guard their hearts just as much as we guard ours. They can sense fake just like we can.

Coming from a scorpio sweetie o know how we act if we are interested in someone and you are wishy washy meaning you are not sold. When we like someone we don't make excuses we want to spend time with them whenever we can! We are true romantics!

don't lead him on just be his friend for now.

I'm not side stepping anything @P-Angel, until reading these responses, I will admit I was clueless to my part in being a dick. i don't get this insinuating business either about the drunk text? I think you are over thinking things. I wasn't putting any blame on him, it was my way of starting conversation (be it a strange way to do so but fuck, I'm not trying to pass the buck here). I'm not trying to be innocent either, if I were I'd be oblivious to my wrong doings and wouldn't even be on this site asking for advise. I don't understand what is wrong with me saying "I like the kid"? What would you rather I say? That's how I genuinly talk.

@duchesslibro - thank you for sharing your relationship story.

It's not that I could take him or leave him, I just don't want to become too invested and find out that after all of this that he's not interested anymore.

Should I give him some time to cool down and just send him a friendly message to let him know he's been on my mind and follow up with him to see how he is or wait till he's ready to talk to me?