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  • Posted by starlord
    Posted by stillstillwater
    I don't think he was disrespectful. I think teh main issue is that you don't know how to set boundaries BEFORE it gets to a level that makes you uncomfortable.

    1) Why did you allow them to sleep on your bed regardless of the spooning or not? Why not set separate sleeping places for everyone? Or make it clear guy sleeps on the couch, girl can sleep in the bed with you.

    2) Once they're already in bed and you step out you have to understand that people's instinctive behavior will come out especially IF there was any alcohol involved. You let them in the bed so if they want to spoon who said they couldn't? You indirectly allowed for that situation to happen by allowing them both on the bed at the same time. Not like they were having sex... which might've happened. You can't trust people's hormones.

    3) Yes you did create drama because you didn't make it about the fact that it was uncomfortable to sleep in the same bed with them on your bed. You made it about your past and how he slept with you and bla bla bla bla bla. Pure drama. Huge turn off. I'd be like BYE too.

    I'd be so turned off by you because i'd be likefirst you let me into yur bed with this girl butnow that we are a bitcloser you're acting all jealous and spilling our past and history to this person. So you don't know whaty ou want and you're taking it out on me by creating drama and dumping shit on me.

    Him hitting on you on NYE... so what??!! There's no contract not to hit on each other. Once again you cannot control people's hormones, they will do what feels right in the situation. Some people have moral compass when it comes to who to hit on or not to... but I honestly don't see anything wrong with his behavior. He made his intentions clear. You're not listening. You're hung up on feelings. You need to release him and draw clear boundaries without creating drama. Be matter of fact with a smile. NO need to tell people about your business w him.

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    I feel happy I told her. Now it feels like my loyalt is more with her than with him. And he doesn't deserve my loyalty.

    So many things leasing up to the whole thing of us 3 lying in bed, but yeah I should have said something. I was dumbfounded in the situation. I totally lost control or didn't take it. I was just all over the place and what I was supposed to do.
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    what do you gain or what does she gain by you telling her about your past w him?