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    Blessed be the fruit
    Joined dxpnet on November 05, 2015.
    Yup. I don’t hate him (no one is worthy of me inputing that much energy towards them), just shudder when thinking of the pit I was falling into for him and so thankful I was pulled out of it before it was too late. He was a narcissist that would manipulate me in ways that began taking an emotional and mental toll on me until I exploded a few times. At the end he wrote me off as probably having bipolar or whatever. In the beginning he’d say I look good but then went to say I just needed to lose a little bit to commenting I’m really small (he’s ironically now about to marry this chick who’s like 30 more pounds than me and would look double my size if I were to stand next to her). He would create these illusions of this perfect life we’d have together when in reality we would barely have time to see each other yet he’d never acknowledged that aspect (he’d say how he’d be working full time and going to law school simultaneously while pushing me to pursue this whole other career path in the medical field that’d require me to do additional 6-7 years of schooling and tons of night shifts). The idea of the real good six figure salary I’d have the potential to make *down the line* really aroused him (he was already making this himself but I guess it wasn’t enough). He would try to guilt or shame me if I didn’t do something a certain way he wanted. And the kicker... he would start emotionally blackmailing me saying he probably wouldn’t be able to continue to live in the states anymore once his work visa expires within a year or so unless he gets married to me that is.

    It wasn’t until I met my now husband who had disclosed that I can do whatever it is I want in life as long as it gives me really good work/life balance which my ex really never emphasized that made me realize my ex never truly wanted me like I wanted him, he had other ulterior motives. People can just plain suck I guess. Of course through it all there were the few great times and the incredible life lessons I learned from him that I know will forever be valuable to me that I wish I could still get from him (he mentors young people like me and has ridiculously good connections). The high emotions I felt for him still randomly sting me at times but I know they weren’t healthy. He’s probably treating this new chick much better or she has a much higher threshold for withstanding abuse. Sometimes I get very curious to find out but of course social media will only paint me what a perfect life they’re having.