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    She loved mysteries so much that she became one.
    from a figment of your imagination.
    Joined dxpnet on January 21, 2013.
    Posted by heliumfiasco
    I have a serious issue with being the person who does this. It's ruined my relationships prior.

    I'm not sure if its an insecurity thing or what. I feel very confident, but im always super curious about a lovers past and I dig or ask and then allow what I find to change my perspective of them and our relationship.

    I got into a huge fight with my BF on NYE because I found out that last year (right before we began dating) he was hooking up with a 23 year old bartender from a restaurant he used to frequent. I guess she would text him constantly after he cut he situation short. He is 37. I was so turned off by his behavior that I was actually disgusted. I just didnt view him as that type of person.

    Its my least appealing quality and odd that you posted this topic now, because I was going to make one similar.


    Try, as hard as it may be to objectively figure out as to why his past bothers you. If you need to let your emotions take a rollercoaster ride to get to the point of pinpointing what bothers you. Then do so.

    After, open up a conversation with him. If you fell in love with him in the first place, there must have been something inherently good within him. How he reacts and responds in the conversation, will allow you a better perspective as to whether or not you two would be suited for one another.

    Keep in mind though, your emotions may go topsy turvy. One day you might be disgusted, another full of love for him, and so forth.

    Allow him time, and an opportunity to show you what kind of a man he is. If the past, is truly the past. We all make mistakes, and we are not always the person we once were. As much as we would all like to say our past influences who we are today. Which case, it does but not to the point where it defines and dictates who we chose to be for our present and future.

    Good luck @heliumfiasco, I know it must not be easy.(((hugs)))