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  • Posted by Scheherazade
    Posted by Adreamuponwaking
    Posted by Scheherazade
    Posted by Adreamuponwaking
    Posted by Fanta
    Posted by Adreamuponwaking
    Posted by Fanta
    Posted by Adreamuponwaking
    Posted by Scheherazade
    Posted by Adreamuponwaking
    Posted by Fanta
    Posted by Adreamuponwaking
    How di I cut through all of the bullshit with the Gemini?

    Even with me firmly trying to just be her friend, I feel like it's necessary. I don't really do superficial relationships. I pride myself on having open and honest communication w/ all of my loved ones. What you see is what you get.


    Have you tried being direct like this?


    a few times.

    I'm thinking about trying to be more explicit about finding out what she wants in this friendship.


    Probably should be asking yourself that.

    If she’s dodging she probably doesn’t want to let you down.


    but no one is asking to be with her or anything more?
    I've explicitly said that. I have even asked her to help me find a gf...and specified some qualities that are different than what she possesses.


    Yeah, but what do you want from her?


    Hmm ..like a general goal? I want her just to be straightforward with me and to stop fucking around with me like she wants more. Just treat me like all of your other friends.

    In summation, I want a normal loving supportive friendship with clear boundaries I don't like feeling manipulated/a pawn especially.

    I'm willing to do nice things for you just because...you don't have to use physical lures/hint at more. I'm a fish. We like doing stuff for people in general.


    It seems like you don't really like her, and you feel that you're repeatedly just getting games from her, so why her? Why not just find better friends?


    I have other friends I just want to keep this one too. I just identify the most with this one at the current moment. Like I care about her. I really do. She reminds me of a younger version of myself who I want to help fix ....and yes I have codependent issues...and know it's not unhealthy.

    But part of me just be able able to impart some knowledge to her that I learned over the last decade so she won't waste as much time as me in learning how to process trauma and work on her self esteem/learning to love her self. or...i think I could help her a little since we have similar backgrounds and some similar issues.....

    Hence as of late I have been really emphasizing my role as a friend.


    Maybe you will impart knowledge by cutting her out of your life for good and completely blocking her and being happy?


    I mean this will be the plan if and when she starts being a destructive force in my life.
    right now she's just a minor pain the ass.lol
    I get a little frustrated with the behavior that inspired this post...but it's not everyday.
    I was trying to get tips for you guys in here to be able to better communicate to her about this stuff...without also making her feel bad...because I feel like it will also strengthen are friendship.

    Like if she knows where I'm coming from...maybe she will be more receptive and stop maybe doing things that will make her ultimately feel sh*tty /empty at the end of the day.


    What good does she bring into your life?

    We are asking because communication doesn’t seem to be the correct fix.

    You can’t fix everyone.
    click to expand


    We talk about a lot of school stuff and navigating academia. It's useful to have a friend who knows about that kind of stuff and is willing to share what they know.

    She's also super supportive..as in a good listener /gives me advice when I go through drama at our school or even family stuff. She also encourages me..when I'm feeling a bit down or rather at least is good at distracting me in typical Gemini fashion.

    In general, I also just enjoy our random convos about anything and everything.