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    Humans are wonderfully complex creatures. A blessing with it's own caviats.
    Joined dxpnet on November 05, 2019.
    Posted by oncast
    Posted by BlueStar
    Sounds like your ego got bruised because you stayed with someone because you felt like you didn’t deserve better and/or wanted to be the “good” one in the relationship.

    Maybe find out why you put yourself into that situation and stayed there well past necessary.


    It is bruised. I stayed because I thought he cared about me. At least, enough not go behind my back like this. He knows how I feel about cheating.
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    Sounds like your bar is very very low for yourself. I question why exactly you put up with him. As if you could come across someone else worthy of your time with the same qualities and traits but expressed better and actually values you.

    Some times people have to learn the hard way through loss. You consistantily going back to him after his shitty behavior enabled him to be that way. There was no consequences.
    I recommend coming clean with what you know to him. Just a bullet point style list. Keep is short and sweet. Then straight out say your done with him and set up a list of what you will no longer engage with him in and tolerate from him.

    You need to have a honest conversation with yourself.
    It's ok to feel what you feel BUT you need remind yourself Why you can not act on them and repeat the same mistakes with him.
    Read that list of statements every time you feel what you feel bubble up again.

    After your able to put yourself in check more readly, I want you to make a list of the qualities you need from a partner and another what you want. Do bullet points again. Simple statements.
    When your happy with your 2 lists. Read it everyday for a week or 2.
    Then I want you to ask yourself Why these things are in important to you.
    For example.
    - Likes spending time together alone.
    Why? I enjoy spending quality time together.
    Why? You remember a time when that has happened before and the way it made you feel. What exactly is that? Intimacy outside the bedroom is important to me.

    Why am I suggesting this to you? Everyone is different. Not everyone has the same values and needs and wants in a relationship. You need to find and understand your own version so you know what to look for in a partner. You. Can greatly reduce find out through unessasary trail and error.
    And be able to spot what your looking for much faster by following these steps.