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    Joined dxpnet on March 31, 2020.
    Posted by AbbyNormal
    Posted by Ripe
    Thank you everyone for your inputs. I really needed it a few hours ago.

    So, I called her and told her that:

    1 - Hiding stuff like cheating on me from me in the past was really wrong of her. I always deserved better.
    2 - & That I think that she needs serious help, for her sake & children's sake, but whether she goes after it or not is entirely her prerogative and none of my business. I told her if chooses to get help and if that help requires anything from me, then I don't mind supporting it, otherwise, I do not want her in my life in any social capacity.

    She was very apologetic and kept saying that she *was* fucked up by her upbringing and kept apologizing some more. Told her that I forgave her for everything and she should just focus on taking care of herself and her family.

    Hopefully, that's the last of that.


    I wouldn’t be too sure. You purposefully left the door open. I think you need to go to therapy as well to find out why you do this and how to stop.
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    You're not wrong. I spoke to an old friend of mine over the last few days. He's a psychologist now and used to be part of my support network.

    He had an interesting take on things... he thinks that I am supportive and nurturing beyond what can be considered as altruistic.. its actually narcissistic.

    So that was a whole can of worms. But I can see where he's coming from. It kind of adds up too. The Jealousy/possessiveness (Sun & Venus in Cancer. Moon, Mars & Saturn in Scorpio) could theoretically manifest itself as narcissim. I also do have a family history of exceptionalism & manipulation. There are a bunch of other traits of mine that collectively seem to suggest that I might have NPD.

    I spoke to my ex about it last night. Yeah.. I called cause I needed to talk about things. Anyway.. she suspects that she has Borderline Personality Disorder cause it runs in her family (sister & mother). It explains why she couldn't empathise with me or the position that she had put me in. Between empathy, shame & guilt, she could only feel guilt at that time and she still can't feel the other two towards me.

    I'm thinking now that she did have BPD, and I probably triggered her to split with my probable NPD while we're dating and that was probably the root cause of her poor behaviour. This is my own theory based on my psychologist friend telling me that he always thought I was a narcissist. So.. I'm just connecting dots.

    Oh.. and narcissist and borderline people go really well with each other, apparently, along with other Cluster B folks. That might explain why all of this is so weird and fucked up.

    Anyway.. I've unwrangled myself out of that mess and will just deal with me and my issues.