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    Joined dxpnet on March 28, 2015.
    Oh dear .. the last thing I want to do is to talk to him smile
    You think you want to put cards on the table .. but have you considered that their might be never cards or a table .. only the illusion of them?
    I deeply care for him and I love seeing him daily, I won't lie! It is the most confusing feeling but I tell myself: as much as it is hard, as much as it drives my anxiety high .. it is also teaching me to be emotionally strong .. to face things like him everyday!
    I didn't see him since last Tuesday so I am feeling good too! I know I will see him and I know he will try to "spare me sometime" when he is free or just for a chat but honestly I am not a side dish ... and I don't want to add anyone to my life plate! I have amazing friends and family .. those I already live with and they share my life plate, and I have my interactions with them ..
    With family, at least no matter how crazy it goes, I know deep down, they love me and they will be the first to be by my side if anything bad happened to me, each in their own way! But with him, I never know ... I never will know and most of all .. unless he be crystal clear, I don't want to know.
    SO yea smile .. I sit rules, and I plan to stay by them ! It is hard, very hard sometimes but to know this is right and you do it for good reasons is better than the feeling of self doubt you get with this person around.