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  • just that it seems its always about him not really about me a lot of the time or ever that much but im not sure he can see beyond the mess of his life ? may be the taurus in him - so whatever is going to suit his needs in the now (or whoever) because it feels like he is so desperate to not feel the way he does maybe. lets skype soon is getting old !

    hes never been single or not in love so whatever he is going through is very foreign to him. Hes definitely had or is having something else but its in another country closer to me that he goes to for work, he hasn't exactly hidden it from me but doesn't talk about it... but I hate the feeling of it I guess that it could develop into something really serious before we get to spend more time together

    I don't think anything he says to me or even feels is ingenuine as such but i think every woman wants to feel like they have have some sort of focus on them whoever it is in any situation

    I guess i just have to accept this as the dynamic if I choose it

    i would kill to be with him in a relationship (not that I know him but on the outside) its just that hes not available to me as it is - hes my crush of 20 years so why I care so much - most lust at first and second sight of my life !

    have to leave it to the universe