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    Joined dxpnet on February 01, 2017.
    Posted by Ellygant
    Posted by _kirinni_
    Posted by Ellygant
    There's active hope and passive hope. Sounds like you're actively hoping now. Believing any day he'll have his aha moment and come for you. That will only cause heartache and make the days seem longer.

    Passive hope is ok. It means you still respect and wish good things for him, but you're letting go of fixating on him as the only option. Passive hope can exist while you go on about life. Passive hope doesn't shut your heart out from the wonderful people you might meet.

    In actively hoping for him to come around you very well could block out someone who could be an even better match for you.


    It would have been easy to let go if I had an everyday life but when I met him it was a miracle. My previous relationship was long distant and online too. We were together for 9 moths before he suddenly left with no words no nothing.

    For me everyday is at home. I don't go outside since I can't. I'm not allowed. That time when I met him is because my brothers learn music at where he works. We clicked immidietly. It took me so long to get over my ex like you have no idea how long since I'm only at home doing nothing but smoke. But meeting him change everything and I even was able to cut down. He really cared about me.. the fact that he said to not forget him and him hoping that we will meet in the future again doesn't it mean that he likes me the same way I like him?


    You're pinning your entire world on a man who isn't even able to fully cope with his own emotions. There is absolutely no way he'd ever be able to sustain yours as well. Any relationship is guaranteed to fail in such conditions.

    Take him changing your life for the goodness that it was and let it help change you for the better. Don't ruin the good memory and potential growth by trying to hold onto something that is already gone.

    Is there any way to work towards changing your situation? Anything you can do to even take baby steps? Perhaps this connection was a wake up call to make a plan of action. Heal yourself first. Then love others.
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    How do I heal my self?