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  • Redrovertoo: I don't think it our intent to put cancer men down or participate in a cancer bashing party. Let's face it, cancer is a very confusing sign, not that we have to understand everyone and everything about them. I will not rehash my previous posts, but tell you from the heart what truly confuses me regarding my ex cancer. I am an analytical scorpio. Having been ruled by my emotions in my younger years, bad choice after bad choices regarding men. When I met cancer guy, I thought I had met the one. He asked me to be in a committed relationship, he took me to meet his parents and brought me in to the fold of his best friends. He spoke of plans for our future and on down the line. Then one day, he realizes he is still in love with his past girlfriend. Give me a break, is being a cancer so confusing that cancer guys don't know what they feel and when they feel it, what is real and what is not.
    I think, for the most part this is our delima. I love my ex cancer, or should I say I love the guy he was when he was at his best (or was that really his best, maybe the guy who withdrew from me emotionally was really being at his best?) So, the problem is all the mixed signals and mixed messages. How does any one of us out here know where reality begins and ends. How do we know what is real in their hearts and minds? My cancer still contacts me, says I am his best girl friend and says he loves me, but I have not seen him for over a month. I know you say be patient, but life is marching by while some of us sit and wait for someone to figure out (a) who they are and (b) what they really want and don't want.
    I am not one for saying my cancer guy was wrong for being who he is. Damn, I know he is simply doing the best he can given where he is in his life and I do understand this. Do I wish he would get his shit together and figure himself out for himi? You bet. But things he has told me regarding his childhood and past tell me his behaviour is merely a symptom of deeply rooted problems. He acknowledges the problems, but I do not see him attempting make himself a whole person for him.
    How can any of us, me included, go out in to the world and even comtemplate a loving relationship with another when we are so emotionally wounded. I think if a part of us (our selves) is dealing with past problems and issues, it takes away from our capacity to truly be ourselves and give of ourselves 100% to another.