Posted by MaddestofHatters
Does he have aspergers? How is he with normal social cues?
Posted by VenusAquariusPosted by heliumfiasco
The texting isn't even the issue. I can see both arguments, it was mostly used as an example.
Its the not bending/compromising.... which is necessary to any relationship. I feel I try to see his side, even if I don't agree and that he doesn't do the same. That is what annoys me. And the inability to take what i'm suggesting as a way to improve things mutually, but instead as a personal attack.
Then the aftermath of what I feel like is manipulative "punishment". Do you really need to be a brat for three days because I said I wasnt a fucking mind reader?
These are stupid things that could simply be communicated, and moved on with. Instead its stubborness...followed by coldness.... followed by me giving in and mending shit. I"m a Gemini moon I couldnt stay upset about something if I tried!!!! Just hear me out and lets keep it moving.
A simple "Oh damn, I thought you knew I was in the studio. My bad. Ill call you tomorrow".... BOOM! situation completely resolved for me. NOPE! It had to be a whole thing. I feel its on purpose, and thats what Im trying to figure out how to navigate.
This sounds awfully parental.
"Pick your battles."
Everything is not a compromise. Compromise in and of itself sounds like a obvious positive. But, it's not. "Compromise principles, ethics, independence, security..."
Continuous "compromise" can lend itself to control.
This a adult male. The further you stray from his norm as a single individual... and in a negative way... the less it's a compromise and more a demand. You're supposed to bring sunshine... not overcast.
Your original post framed this up like a tug of war.click to expand
Posted by HeavyEntertainmentShow
The Leo/Libra dynamic I've noticed is you're always in the Pushover seat. They're in charge and you can't have a problem with that.
Libras are too feeble to stand up to them, so you get walked all over. Even when you're trying to point out a negative aspect in his behavior, you're too busy trying to sugarcoat it. Leos don't respect Libras because they don't see you as equals.
Only another fire-dominant person can handle them and put them in their place from time to time. Sorry, gurl.
Posted by ChuckcemPosted by heliumfiasco
HOLY SHIT! I was literally coming onto the Leo forum to post this EXACT question. I havent logged on in weeks and came specifically for this topic.
My current BF has had 3 "stalkers" in the last 2 years. One of which has recently found me online and literally looks at anything I post on IG stories within minutes. She doesnt even follow me, so she must be constantly looking at my page. I havent blocked her yet because i was intrigued in how long it will go on, but now its getting weird and ill have to.
Both of these women he went on a few dates with (im sure hooked up with) and ultimately had to block them from email and phone. One went as far to use one of those texting apps thats gives you a new number to text with. He is so friendly that I cant even imagine him handling the situation....which is I think the issue. Leos men are very nice when rejecting ive noticed. I think that warmth confuses people and they cling to hope.
Then a male coworker started stalking him and its an ongoing issue currently! The man was fired from his job as a professor because of it.
This. All of it. I have been told that I am too "welcoming" even when I am not DOING anything. Granted I have also been told that I am intimidating (at least at work), so I am not sure what to take from that. I also try to let people down easy because I never know what their mental/emotional state is. If the problem persists however, then I can become brusque.click to expand
Posted by RaakacPosted by heliumfiascoPosted by RaakacPosted by heliumfiasco
You have the same placements as my daughter except she has Libra Merc.
VERY FORGETFUL at times and it causes issues for her.
Damn i bet she's hard 2 control.
Yes, but shes a good girl. However, you cannot force her to do anything she deems "unnecessary". She's also a very old soul....no-nonsense personality. Responsible as heck, but FORGETFUL!
Libra Ascendant
Cancer Sun
Sagg Moon
Libra Merc
Leo Venus
Taurus Mars
How old is she?click to expand
Posted by RaakacPosted by heliumfiasco
You have the same placements as my daughter except she has Libra Merc.
VERY FORGETFUL at times and it causes issues for her.
Damn i bet she's hard 2 control.click to expand
Posted by frozenintimePosted by heliumfiasco
I have a serious issue with being the person who does this. It's ruined my relationships prior.
I'm not sure if its an insecurity thing or what. I feel very confident, but im always super curious about a lovers past and I dig or ask and then allow what I find to change my perspective of them and our relationship.
I got into a huge fight with my BF on NYE because I found out that last year (right before we began dating) he was hooking up with a 23 year old bartender from a restaurant he used to frequent. I guess she would text him constantly after he cut he situation short. He is 37. I was so turned off by his behavior that I was actually disgusted. I just didnt view him as that type of person.
Its my least appealing quality and odd that you posted this topic now, because I was going to make one similar.
Do you feel as if you would of been better off without knowing this?click to expand
Posted by Phangus
Is it jealousy or something else? Disgust doesn't sound like jealousy.
Posted by TheLadyScorpio
Hearing about a SO's past requires a lot of courage.
People underestimate how much guts and balls is needed in order to accept what someone might have done in their past.
Quite obviously, if their past bothers you but you are in love with them now. That means they must have changed, or in the least grown enough that you cannot reconcile who they once were, with the person whom you know now.
Personally, I have learned this lesson the hard way. As a Scorpio, I demanded brutal honesty. Unaware of how far Capricorns could take that honesty. He gave it to me straight as it were. Many of the things I heard, I found hard to digest (in fact, still do). Yet, what made all the difference was. My SO had the maturity, awareness, and love to not only listen to me (empathising with what I feel) but to make a vow to take actions to prove to me his loyalty, and his changed ways.
At first, I thought he was doing so because I forced him to do so. I am old enough to know better, that you cannot force someone to change. Yet he was wonderful enough to tell me that he changed because having me in his life mattered more than who he was in the past, and what he did. He prioritised me, he chose me.
Now, I might be sidetracking here. Though this brief story was to demonstrate that, honesty when done right will not only improve a relationship allowing it to grow deeper through communication. It also helps address difficult issues that a lot of couples skim over until turds hit the fan. To address the past, issues, and anything uncomfortable early on; then allows two people to spend their time and efforts on building what they want in a relationship instead.
No doubt did I learn a tough lesson the hard way, when I could have taken the easy route of blissful denial. The ego takes a battering, so does ones self esteem and confidence. However, if you have the right man by your side and your SO is the one. Then he will do everything in his power to not let the relationship nor love die. It is a great litmus test to see if your relationship truly has what it takes to last.