Posted by SagChick72Posted by haylz124Posted by SagChick72Posted by haylz124Posted by SagChick72Posted by haylz124
Ha there's many of us on here had a vanishing virgo on our hands! Mine is 32 and never had a relationship, allot of shy introverts can still get into relationships that's no excuse. Mine actually told his family about me but I refused to tell mine about him as we weren't serious enough in my eyes. I'd hold my feelings back in any case I told mine where to go last weekend as I was sick of his vanishing acts. I don't think it's a game I think there's a handful of these virgo men that just don't commit I also believe they have many mental issues (not all a small selection). I'v been through hell in my life and fixed myself mentally through intense therapy, I'v come to the conclusion i'm not allowing someone that hasn't and can't be bothered to work through his! Dig deeper i'm sure you'll find he's not that much of a good person or worth your time!
Good luck
Thank you. I am for sure putting my feelings in check now. Its sad because we have an amazing time together and mesh very well-the intimacy is off the charts-but apparently he is not ready for a commitment-I could carry on as we have been (seeing each other twice a month or so) as long as I knew it was going somewhere. I am pretty much done, I think-which is very sad and disappointing but I really don't have time for a man who can't step up-like you said, a lot of shy guys can get into relationships-getting tired of that excuse pretty quickly. Thank you and what was the response of your Virgo when you told him off???
He's not happy about it he tried to fix things but i'm not having any of it right now! When I am angry I need to be left alone not for long but until I come around. Then I will come find you rather than be bothered while i'm angry. He kept bothering me apologizing. See mine when I call him on his BS he needs to convince me he's a good person! He was posting daily FB statuses before aimed at me! There was no denying the posts were aimed at me he put my nickname in the statuses he named me. I called him on the and told him to just say things to my face instead of this way. It was the last time he vanished and he started saying he's made mistakes etc etc so nothing bad it was the way he did it I pulled him on. Well did he bring it up repeatedly!!! he was then the nicest person ever for a brief period until he vanished again...... he also hasn't posted on FB for a month now hahaha I don't think he dare.
But yeah I don't think he's happy I don't care. Your relationship boundaries are built in the early days of you being together he needs to know this is not OK or acceptable behaviour. Nobody needs space more than me I have a fantastic relationship with myself. I need to withdraw from the world allot to realign my perspective of myself and my goals. But that is not an excuse to disappear for long periods of time at all! In the early stages of a relationship most people need reassurance it's still on with the other person. Mine was going MIA for 4-6 weeks at a time there's just no need for that and if it's to get your emotions in check there's no way you need that long, 2 weeks tops.
But when he's come back before he behaves like we're in an intense relationship wants to message all day everyday i'm not in to that i find it annoying but I do it for him. But he was on holiday for a few days the last time we were good together I hadn't heard from him for 6 weeks and he was asking me if I missed him while he was away?!? I mean WTF? i'm sure if i'v just manages 6 weeks no contact I can bare the separation of him going away for the weekend ha.
As you've seen here i'v done several things that slightly annoy me in a relationship like text back 24/7 and allow him to vanish a couple of times in the very early stages when i'd rather be holed up with him treetrunking all day but there's none of that from him no consideration for my security so it's all one way. I read on another thread an MIA virgo is seriously considering a relationship with you and gathering himself but treetrunk that! this fajizzle is not for me at all there's millions of men out there I do not need to be hanging about for this mental mess! sorry I went off on one lol
WOW. Yeah, cant say I blame you on that kind of game playing. Mine tends to pop up every two weeks or so-but the closer we get intimately or the heavier we get into convos about feelings, he goes MIA for a little longer. Again, if I reach out during this time he will always respond, but I am tired of being the one to make all of the effort, all of the time. With us being so early on and attempting to go from a casual hook up thing to really liking each other, I am with you-shouldn't he want to be with me at least on the weekends to have sex, if nothing else?? He is very OCD about his work and when he is working that is all there is. Then after work, its drinking. So I am coming in a distant third. You are right there are millions of men out there-surely I can find one who actually WANTS a relationship!!!
The FWB discussion you had with yours made me laugh as I had the exact same talk with mine before he vanished. I did want a relationship with him but i realised he wasn't that type of material he was more go out have a wild night, have sex then don't see each other for a month type of guy. I was cool with that as we did have some good nights and I myself cannot vision someone living with me, getting married etc etc. Maybe this scares a virgo man off hahaha
I think both these men are sad sorry cases that need to be left to wallow alone and as a sag and an aqua I don't think either of us are used to or need to tolerate this BS in our lives!
Yes as a Sag and Aqua we are both very straightforward and I just hate beating around the bush. I don't want to rush things, or live together, or proclaim love to each other-just a simple "yeah I suck at calling and texting but I do want to see if we can make something out of this" would be nice. OR he could just man up and say it was great sex but that was all he wanted, see ya! that would save a lot of time and hurt feelings. I am pretty much done. I have not spoke to him since that text and that was four days ago. I am not going to reach out at all-if he does not make an attempt, I suppose that is answer enough. I need to meet a male Sag I think! LOLclick to expand
Posted by SagChick72Posted by haylz124Posted by SagChick72Posted by haylz124
Ha there's many of us on here had a vanishing virgo on our hands! Mine is 32 and never had a relationship, allot of shy introverts can still get into relationships that's no excuse. Mine actually told his family about me but I refused to tell mine about him as we weren't serious enough in my eyes. I'd hold my feelings back in any case I told mine where to go last weekend as I was sick of his vanishing acts. I don't think it's a game I think there's a handful of these virgo men that just don't commit I also believe they have many mental issues (not all a small selection). I'v been through hell in my life and fixed myself mentally through intense therapy, I'v come to the conclusion i'm not allowing someone that hasn't and can't be bothered to work through his! Dig deeper i'm sure you'll find he's not that much of a good person or worth your time!
Good luck
Thank you. I am for sure putting my feelings in check now. Its sad because we have an amazing time together and mesh very well-the intimacy is off the charts-but apparently he is not ready for a commitment-I could carry on as we have been (seeing each other twice a month or so) as long as I knew it was going somewhere. I am pretty much done, I think-which is very sad and disappointing but I really don't have time for a man who can't step up-like you said, a lot of shy guys can get into relationships-getting tired of that excuse pretty quickly. Thank you and what was the response of your Virgo when you told him off???
He's not happy about it he tried to fix things but i'm not having any of it right now! When I am angry I need to be left alone not for long but until I come around. Then I will come find you rather than be bothered while i'm angry. He kept bothering me apologizing. See mine when I call him on his BS he needs to convince me he's a good person! He was posting daily FB statuses before aimed at me! There was no denying the posts were aimed at me he put my nickname in the statuses he named me. I called him on the and told him to just say things to my face instead of this way. It was the last time he vanished and he started saying he's made mistakes etc etc so nothing bad it was the way he did it I pulled him on. Well did he bring it up repeatedly!!! he was then the nicest person ever for a brief period until he vanished again...... he also hasn't posted on FB for a month now hahaha I don't think he dare.
But yeah I don't think he's happy I don't care. Your relationship boundaries are built in the early days of you being together he needs to know this is not OK or acceptable behaviour. Nobody needs space more than me I have a fantastic relationship with myself. I need to withdraw from the world allot to realign my perspective of myself and my goals. But that is not an excuse to disappear for long periods of time at all! In the early stages of a relationship most people need reassurance it's still on with the other person. Mine was going MIA for 4-6 weeks at a time there's just no need for that and if it's to get your emotions in check there's no way you need that long, 2 weeks tops.
But when he's come back before he behaves like we're in an intense relationship wants to message all day everyday i'm not in to that i find it annoying but I do it for him. But he was on holiday for a few days the last time we were good together I hadn't heard from him for 6 weeks and he was asking me if I missed him while he was away?!? I mean WTF? i'm sure if i'v just manages 6 weeks no contact I can bare the separation of him going away for the weekend ha.
As you've seen here i'v done several things that slightly annoy me in a relationship like text back 24/7 and allow him to vanish a couple of times in the very early stages when i'd rather be holed up with him treetrunking all day but there's none of that from him no consideration for my security so it's all one way. I read on another thread an MIA virgo is seriously considering a relationship with you and gathering himself but treetrunk that! this fajizzle is not for me at all there's millions of men out there I do not need to be hanging about for this mental mess! sorry I went off on one lol
WOW. Yeah, cant say I blame you on that kind of game playing. Mine tends to pop up every two weeks or so-but the closer we get intimately or the heavier we get into convos about feelings, he goes MIA for a little longer. Again, if I reach out during this time he will always respond, but I am tired of being the one to make all of the effort, all of the time. With us being so early on and attempting to go from a casual hook up thing to really liking each other, I am with you-shouldn't he want to be with me at least on the weekends to have sex, if nothing else?? He is very OCD about his work and when he is working that is all there is. Then after work, its drinking. So I am coming in a distant third. You are right there are millions of men out there-surely I can find one who actually WANTS a relationship!!!click to expand
Posted by SagChick72Posted by haylz124
Ha there's many of us on here had a vanishing virgo on our hands! Mine is 32 and never had a relationship, allot of shy introverts can still get into relationships that's no excuse. Mine actually told his family about me but I refused to tell mine about him as we weren't serious enough in my eyes. I'd hold my feelings back in any case I told mine where to go last weekend as I was sick of his vanishing acts. I don't think it's a game I think there's a handful of these virgo men that just don't commit I also believe they have many mental issues (not all a small selection). I'v been through hell in my life and fixed myself mentally through intense therapy, I'v come to the conclusion i'm not allowing someone that hasn't and can't be bothered to work through his! Dig deeper i'm sure you'll find he's not that much of a good person or worth your time!
Good luck
Thank you. I am for sure putting my feelings in check now. Its sad because we have an amazing time together and mesh very well-the intimacy is off the charts-but apparently he is not ready for a commitment-I could carry on as we have been (seeing each other twice a month or so) as long as I knew it was going somewhere. I am pretty much done, I think-which is very sad and disappointing but I really don't have time for a man who can't step up-like you said, a lot of shy guys can get into relationships-getting tired of that excuse pretty quickly. Thank you and what was the response of your Virgo when you told him off???click to expand
Posted by TurquoiseArrow
yea and i would wait when your not drunk......
i hate women that are alchoholics.
Posted by LadyNeptunePosted by haylz124Posted by TurquoiseArrowPosted by haylz124Posted by TurquoiseArrowPosted by haylz124
I'm sick to my back teeth of his vanishing acts and I'm done and have been for a while now! So I got the random hello message from him it's been a friggin month since he called me "his girl" and told me I was amazing only for him to vanish into the background and yeah I'm pissed off, seriously pissed off!!
This isn't the first time he's poofed off the face of the earth no it's the bloody 5th wouldn't mind but it's the 5th time and we've barely gotten into a relationship!! Sorry I'm angry as you can tell so I pre wrote a message I'm seriously considering sending his flakey ass!
"I'm a person too and I deserve respect so unless you can come up with a pretty good reason why you keep fucking off I suggest you jog on for good"
What do you think? I doubt I'm going to calm down enough to send anything else and the more I don't respond to his messages the more he messages
If you are going to tell him that, have the decency to do it in person. If your just looking for a reaction out of him, thats a very bad thing to want for.
The things you have said here in your post...you should tell him those things.
I think you missed the point he's not here in person
Ok....so you show up on his doorstep. Problem solved. Be a woman of action....be assured that will get his attention.
I actually considered that tonight but Iv had too much vodka to drive do you think that would work? With a virgo?
Don't show up uninvited to his house. That's psycho gf territory.
Ask him to meet with you. If he doesn't make the effort then that's a sign to walk away.click to expand
Posted by LadyNeptune
His grandma is sick? For all you know he's been dealing with her illness. Maybe she passed away and he's been mourning/making arrangements for the body.
If you are for sure done with him then by all means send the message. But as you don't know the circumstances of his disappearance you may be burning a bridge unnecessarily.
If it's me I'm confronting him on this face to face to gauge his sincerity. Then I'm making it clear that I expect more regular communication if we continue on with the relationship.
Posted by TurquoiseArrow
and if he has never initiated daily texts to you like your saying....just forget about him.
a virgo that want text, email, etc., is not interested.
Posted by TurquoiseArrowPosted by haylz124Posted by TurquoiseArrowPosted by haylz124
I'm sick to my back teeth of his vanishing acts and I'm done and have been for a while now! So I got the random hello message from him it's been a friggin month since he called me "his girl" and told me I was amazing only for him to vanish into the background and yeah I'm pissed off, seriously pissed off!!
This isn't the first time he's poofed off the face of the earth no it's the bloody 5th wouldn't mind but it's the 5th time and we've barely gotten into a relationship!! Sorry I'm angry as you can tell so I pre wrote a message I'm seriously considering sending his flakey ass!
"I'm a person too and I deserve respect so unless you can come up with a pretty good reason why you keep fucking off I suggest you jog on for good"
What do you think? I doubt I'm going to calm down enough to send anything else and the more I don't respond to his messages the more he messages
If you are going to tell him that, have the decency to do it in person. If your just looking for a reaction out of him, thats a very bad thing to want for.
The things you have said here in your post...you should tell him those things.
I think you missed the point he's not here in person
Ok....so you show up on his doorstep. Problem solved. Be a woman of action....be assured that will get his attention.click to expand
Posted by GeminiGirl052388
Fwb and I did skype the other day and it was fun. Really good to see each other again. Then he told me he was gonna be busyin the next couple of weeks. He still messaged me the yesterday but has not read my last message and its been hours. Today, no message in the morning either but whatsapp says he was online an hour ago.
I know we are fwb but sometimes disappearing acts like this happen whenever we have that intimate moment:
- When I was in Oz and we met the first time, he disappeared for days then came back on my last day. Then disappeared again for few days then came back again
-When he showed me the house he wanted to buy, we had discussions about what i like the house to look like, etc. then he disappeared again.
-We did skype and was the first time doing video after I left oz and it was really good. Then he disappeared again.
I dont think im in panic. Its just there is a pattern here... i am starting to wonder if this is really worth my time. Is there something wrong with me?
Posted by TurquoiseArrowPosted by haylz124
I'm sick to my back teeth of his vanishing acts and I'm done and have been for a while now! So I got the random hello message from him it's been a friggin month since he called me "his girl" and told me I was amazing only for him to vanish into the background and yeah I'm pissed off, seriously pissed off!!
This isn't the first time he's poofed off the face of the earth no it's the bloody 5th wouldn't mind but it's the 5th time and we've barely gotten into a relationship!! Sorry I'm angry as you can tell so I pre wrote a message I'm seriously considering sending his flakey ass!
"I'm a person too and I deserve respect so unless you can come up with a pretty good reason why you keep fucking off I suggest you jog on for good"
What do you think? I doubt I'm going to calm down enough to send anything else and the more I don't respond to his messages the more he messages
If you are going to tell him that, have the decency to do it in person. If your just looking for a reaction out of him, thats a very bad thing to want for.
The things you have said here in your post...you should tell him those things.click to expand
Posted by TurquoiseArrowPosted by haylz124
I'm sick to my back teeth of his vanishing acts and I'm done and have been for a while now! So I got the random hello message from him it's been a friggin month since he called me "his girl" and told me I was amazing only for him to vanish into the background and yeah I'm pissed off, seriously pissed off!!
This isn't the first time he's poofed off the face of the earth no it's the bloody 5th wouldn't mind but it's the 5th time and we've barely gotten into a relationship!! Sorry I'm angry as you can tell so I pre wrote a message I'm seriously considering sending his flakey ass!
"I'm a person too and I deserve respect so unless you can come up with a pretty good reason why you keep fucking off I suggest you jog on for good"
What do you think? I doubt I'm going to calm down enough to send anything else and the more I don't respond to his messages the more he messages
If you are going to tell him that, have the decency to do it in person. If your just looking for a reaction out of him, thats a very bad thing to want for.
The things you have said here in your post...you should tell him those things.click to expand
Posted by csdude55Yes totally agree I'm not the type of person that wants a good morning text everyday if that happens I just end up staring at my phone thinking why the hell would you send that? I told him the last time I saw him once a month was cool with me for seeing each other cos we're both just too busy, well I am. And as for texting all day every day I don't have the patience or time just a Hi if and when you wanna talk is cool, meaning like once a week or something. I'm not asking for too much and regardless of whats going on in his life if he still has time to go out with his friends every W/E he has time for me once a month Dam i feel so needy and this aqua just aint used to that lol
You're an Aquarius? I've never felt like these were a good match for a Virgo, maybe because of this.
The way I'm reading this, you set rules because you're too busy for a big commitment, and it sounds like he's obeying those rules. But now you've changed your mind, and you're mad because he hasn't figured it out yet. That doesn't seem fair to me at all.
I don't blame you for wanting more than talking once a month, but you told him that's what you wanted, right? I feel like I'm missing something here.
Personally, I DO like to wake up to "good morning" messages from my girl and for her to show that she's excited to talk to me... a relationship like you've described would have bored me after a few days of being ignored, and after a month of no contact I'll probably have already moved on to someone else.click to expand
Posted by tctaPosted by haylz124Posted by tctaPosted by haylz124Posted by tctaPosted by haylz124Posted by IxionPosted by haylz124Posted by Ixion
Your text message should be fine as far as what you are getting at...the tone may be problematic if he is big on tone.
I still haven't replied I hate messaging people when I have strong emotions! He's been messaging "if you're not feeling it just tell me" why? Cos you showed me the same courtesy? Lol
I don't want to come across angry or upset, problematic as you say I might just leave it with a simple "it's over" if he can't guess why that's his problem lol
I mean I can't disagree with the logic there.
I don't want to come off as harsh see his gran who helped raise him has been sick and he seems to vanish in her periods of recovery. He knows the exact number of days we go without speaking, stuff like that even I don't remember. Could he be vanishing because of her? And just not want to tell me this? is that something a virgo would do?
virgo or not, it isn't normal and one doesn't deserve to be treated that way
My point exactly he says you're tough you can handle this stuff and yeah on the surface I can in reality i'm a chocolate M&M crunchy on the outside and soft on the inside and regardless of how I seem to handle stuff inside I don't but if i could handle it I don't deserve it!!!
tell him you don't want to have to handle it even if you can - azz wipe - no you don't and for him to say that proves that he's not being upfront cause he's trying to put this on you - if there was a good reason he can't communicate with you for month then ante up - if not, what game is he playing and what is the real deal - come clean and be real or get the f lost - ain't nobody got time for that - no, I don't need someone stuck up my azz 24/7 but not communicating for an entire month - sumptin up
Yes totally agree I'm not the type of person that wants a good morning text everyday if that happens I just end up staring at my phone thinking why the hell would you send that? I told him the last time I saw him once a month was cool with me for seeing each other cos we're both just too busy, well I am. And as for texting all day every day I don't have the patience or time just a Hi if and when you wanna talk is cool, meaning like once a week or something. I'm not asking for too much and regardless of whats going on in his life if he still has time to go out with his friends every W/E he has time for me once a month Dam i feel so needy and this aqua just aint used to that lol
ok so you alluded to the fact that you don't need that much and now you are wanting more - then just tell him and see what happens - then if he doesn't hold up on his end, you are free to resume driving until you find a new laneclick to expand
Posted by EddieVanJoviPosted by haylz124Posted by EddieVanJoviPosted by haylz124Posted by EddieVanJoviPosted by haylz124
it's been a friggin month since he called me "his girl" and told me I was amazing only for him to vanish into the background
Damn, he's good at getting attention.
WYM?
What?
What do you mean lol
He liked the attention you gave him.
He is, obviously, experiencing mental health problems.click to expand
Posted by tctaPosted by haylz124Posted by tctaPosted by haylz124Posted by IxionPosted by haylz124Posted by Ixion
Your text message should be fine as far as what you are getting at...the tone may be problematic if he is big on tone.
I still haven't replied I hate messaging people when I have strong emotions! He's been messaging "if you're not feeling it just tell me" why? Cos you showed me the same courtesy? Lol
I don't want to come across angry or upset, problematic as you say I might just leave it with a simple "it's over" if he can't guess why that's his problem lol
I mean I can't disagree with the logic there.
I don't want to come off as harsh see his gran who helped raise him has been sick and he seems to vanish in her periods of recovery. He knows the exact number of days we go without speaking, stuff like that even I don't remember. Could he be vanishing because of her? And just not want to tell me this? is that something a virgo would do?
virgo or not, it isn't normal and one doesn't deserve to be treated that way
My point exactly he says you're tough you can handle this stuff and yeah on the surface I can in reality i'm a chocolate M&M crunchy on the outside and soft on the inside and regardless of how I seem to handle stuff inside I don't but if i could handle it I don't deserve it!!!
tell him you don't want to have to handle it even if you can - azz wipe - no you don't and for him to say that proves that he's not being upfront cause he's trying to put this on you - if there was a good reason he can't communicate with you for month then ante up - if not, what game is he playing and what is the real deal - come clean and be real or get the f lost - ain't nobody got time for that - no, I don't need someone stuck up my azz 24/7 but not communicating for an entire month - sumptin upclick to expand