I still think they can make it work. At one point he loved you enough to give you a chance and if you can somehow prove to him that you're able be trusted again to the point he can love you in the same capacity again (which is a hard task) and fully commit to each other without all of the game playing, I think there may be hope. Once a cancer is cold it will be hard to get them back but if they love you enough, you could pull it off. But it'll take A LOT of work and revealing for that to work.
If your cancer is mean it's probably because cancer is immature and other things or you're mean or viewed as mean to cancer. They're mirroring types so they end up giving what you give once their initial perky attitude wears off.
Fullwater, when cold and aloof the cancer is usually not doing it out of spite, some hurt has usually gone down. They are usually cold and also aloof when they have been hurt and shut you out in order to save their own feelings or their personal demise or to repair the emotional damage that the person that hurt them did. They come out when they feel strong enough to the point that it'll be hard to hurt them or they have gotten over the hurt. When like this they don't think about the other persons hurt so much because their heavy emotions take them over and all they can feel is the hurt from whatever was done. So no, they probably don't feel any sort of remorse. They probably will start feeling remorse once those heavy hurtful emotions begin to fade away enough for them to actually have enough space in their reality to feel for anything or anyone else.
But if your question is about if they care about you when in the shell and if you hurt them? Well if they have deep feelings for you (which they would if you had enough emotional power to actually hurt them in the first place) hell yes, they are thinking about you. They are probably thinking of only you. If you matter enough to them. You are definitely on their minds and hearts. Could be in a very bad way though. Like a love hate feeling.
Sounds like he was interested in having something real with you but maybe not so much anymore. You both were building trust and a bond and you sort of severed it when you slept with your ex. I'm not going to say he's using you right now but he's definitely guarding his heart. He's not doing anything that will cause him to have more feelings for you that could hurt him in the future. But he's probably still hoping that things will work out with you guys.
Sags and cancers make one of the best couplings. Sags carefree attitude and humorous ways allows the cancer to come fully out of the shell and also be just as carefree and they have many adventures together. Fire and water make steam! I miss my crab.
I have some cancer placements so I'll put in. I say cancers, when everything is good. They are very fun, nurturing and make you feel good and happy about things but at the same time give you space and independence to do what you want without any ill feelings. They have a way with helping people out rose colored glasses on. And yes the sex is amazing. It's just that when times are bad, they're BAD. I'm not too thrilled about virgos. Most have sort of a fakeness about them, they love to dish out butter to people but then get so shockingly surprised and hurt when people give it right back to then and become VERY spiteful and they are really judgmental and superficial. I noticed they also like to talk down to people or make jokes at the expense of others. Also the sex is very robotic and sort of reminded me of someone learning all of their sex moves from bad porno movies. Plus the sex had no emotional depth to it. They are also very loving in their own ways though. No offense but these are just my observations with the virgos u have come across, of course I don't know all virgos and this is only my opinion.
Fullwater, that's a good point. Sadly, cancers are not overly blunt with their many many warning signals and when it starts to get really bad, they will start to verbally give you warning signals. Then once they have finally entered the cut off point or when they will start developing serious trust issues, you have probably have only begun to understand the depth of the cancer and realize just how soft their heart actually was. But as far as if they will trust again, it all depends on a lot of things.
Also you saying you don't want to come out of the closet and let everyone know about her and that maybe, just maybe you'll be able to do it in time IS A MAJJJJJOR FORM OF REJECTION (especially to a cancer that has opened her heart to you)!!!! That's like me telling you, hey MissGemini, I know you will do anything for me and are in love with me and things but I'm not wanting all that right now but let's just continue like this and you keep loving me the way you have been and maaaayyyybe one day I will be ready for you...or maybe I will never be, maybe you will always be my little dirty secret. But you just keep loving me the way you've been and keep making me feel happy and loved. How would you feel???? That is extremely hurtful and damaging to someone's self esteem and ability to give genuine love.
And her admirers on Facebook are probably just that-her admirers. Don't think she's doing that for attention or trying to hurt you. Cancers usually have a lot of people trying to get at them for obvious reasons. And if it's a public display of affection for her, she probably doesn't like that sort of attention. What sort of things does she say to those people? She probably has a lot of people who rely on her for love and favors and any job that a 'nice girl' would get stuck with.
Oh I think I can maybe help here. She's clearly hurt. She doesn't know how to interact with you because of what you did in the past and the things I mentioned before in number format. She won't allow herself to be open to a certain extent until she gets a clear indication of what you want from her (and even with this I'm not sure if she'll even believe you). But she is in love with you but she's guarding her heart (and also probably opening herself up to others). Sounds like she's weening off from you and slowly moving into something else with someone else. This is why you can't play with a cancers heart! They live in the past and take every negative thing you do or say to heart and will remember it (unless some equally as positive act or words happened). They take the negative WAAYYYY more seriously than the positive and it plays in their minds and hearts over and over again and they will stop loving you the same way or stop sharing their private thoughts and feelings with you. What she has done is backed off and allowed you to give only what you feel comfortable with giving and gives you short answers because she doesn't want to say anything that may offend you, make you uncomfortable or cause you to think something that is not true or reality (because she doesn't know how to interact with you so she just puts most of y'all's relating on auto pilot). You can feel how she really feels when kissing because she can't hide her emotions in the physical act because most cancers can't hide it.
I think the biggest thing he needs right now is your vulnerability and deep love. Sounds like the man needs to be loved and needs to learn how to give love. He will learn from you and follow suite. It's amazing how much people change and stop going through unnecessary suffering once they know they are loved, cared for and thought upon. And I know it's hard to demonstrate that, especially as a woman and amidst all of the confusion, but if you're looking for a solution that will do it. He will probably surprise you with the way he comes out if that shell and gives you what you want and need. And if he doesn't, leave him alone to his healing and move on. And btw, this show of love MUST be blatant, nonconfusing and be BOTH physical and verbal. Most people, especially cancers, wait for the absolute greenlight before they go all in.
Yes, probably cold on the outside and mushy on the inside. Maybe she does love you but is having a hard time getting past the hurt or rejection. Maybe she's involved with someone. Not sure why she's hesitant, but it does seem like she loves you. If you feel you've done all there is to do, just back off and give her time to process things and go date other people.
When she gets moody, what are her moods like and why do you think she becomes moody? Before you told her you didn't want a relationship, how did she treat you? Did she freely call and invite you to things? What about after the rejection? Do you feel her emotions or does she give you that deeper connection thing during sex? Does she talk as much as she used to when around you? Is she as open?
Well just tell him that and ask for your space. And he will give it to you and then have some time to think about how his ways hurts the people he cares for, instead of getting upset at you for not talking to him and then in return giving you a cold shoulder or something. The best way to solve the biggest cancer problems is first communication.