Catilicious

Posted by borednbeautiful

Posted by DK

Posted by borednbeautiful
So earlier today I went to a local pharmacy to look for a product and I’ve met this cute, young pharmacist with gorgeous blue eyes.

We have similar working/ social backgrounds and we strike a convo. He tells me had 2 cognacs to drink 🥃 already and I ask him “are you working under the influence of controlled substances?” and we both burst out laughing. So far, so good

He tells me at the end he’d love to hear more about my experiences in America. I tell him I am looking for a car and new friends and he has some contacts. He gives me his number and says he is either off work at 2 pm or 8 pm (depending on the shift) and to give him a call. It also turns out we are neighbors.

My questions:

1. Was he drunk?
2. Did he just ask me out or does this sound friendly?
3. When do I call him? How soon is too soon?
4. What do we talk about?
5. Should I do 2 pm or 8 pm date?

I don’t know. I think this sounds friendly to me, but I’ll take a new friend. He is smart and he has local contacts. He is also real easyyyyyy on the eyes. And he has a name that I like. And if nothing comes out of it, I don’t care. At least it will be a fun “date”

In the end it often is something like this, a casual encounter that turns into something nice.
Don’t think about it too much and just enjoy the ride (pun intended). Have a great time 😁

There is something to those casual encounters. They at least make your day nice 🙂

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I love these casual encounters. ☺️Great way to meet someone. Go for it! 🔥🥳

I think you're getting a lot of heat because of what you said in your initial post about working on a plan on the things you would do for her. It did came across a bit calculated. I guess it didn't help with the word obsessed in your title. 😅

But ultimately only you know your intentions and your situation with her. You asked for other's opinions and people gave it to you. Even if it wasn't what you wanted to hear just let it be and take it as it is; strangers opinion's. You don't owe anyone here an explanation or need to try to convince anyone here anything. The more you argue the more obsessed you seem. 😅 Sorry.

Posted by Ariete

Posted by Timone

Posted by alexscaries

Posted by ImperfectStorm
You will lose yourself in the process of trying to win her over.

When someone tells you how they feel, you have to believe them. We always want to believe there’s a deeper meaning like “she wants me to fight for her”, or “he’s closed off to me because he’s afraid of being hurt”. We will tell ourselves stories to fit the narrative of what we want to believe, then we end up deceiving ourselves. It’s one thing to be deceived by someone else.. it’s another thing to be deceived by yourself.

It is true that Virgo women prefer to be friends first (I have Virgo Venus and this is how I am, too) but you cannot bet on that. You should not put your life on hold and try to mold yourself into being who you THINK she needs you to be. That doesn’t come across as being authentic at all, and the best way to approach any intimate connection is to be real with yourself and with the other person. Not this Frankenstein version of who you think she wants you to be.

I do agree with this, but sometimes people will use ambiguity to avoid conflict. For example someone might say "I'm a bit busy" rather than saying "I don't want to date you".

True but in this case she straight up told him she only liked him as a friend. That's pretty clear. There's nothing more unattractive with someone changing themselves and their interest to match someone they're interested in. It's not genuine and a big turn-off. But maybe I shouldn't give advice here. I'm a libra.🤭 I will see myself out. 🤸🤣

I am not changing my interests for her. Our interests have always overlapped in many ways, but there are things about her that are just not part of my cultural background. I want to show more interest in these things because they mean a lot to her, and even if we're just friends, I will respect the things she cares about. I was always respectful of these things in the first place anyway, even before all this.

Feel free to give advice or chime in any capacity. I don't have an issue with hearing the hard truths, but please allow me to explain the situation and the details that matter at least.

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Hm I think it all comes down to intentions. Like if you're truly genuinely interested in it and not just because you want to impress her.

Posted by Ariete

Posted by Timone
Why is it always so hard for an aries to get it when someone tells them straight out that they only want to be friends and still continue to pursue it. You're either setting yourself up for disappointment and hurt and might even end up losing the friendship because of it. Are you ok with her dating and being happy with someone else?

You should never change yourself in order for someone to like you.

I am not pursuing her. I won't talk to her about my feelings again. I'm working very hard to make my peace with the fact that we are only friends and nothing more. It's just not that easy to turn my feelings off.

I just want to be prepared in case this is a test. And yes, I'm aware I could end up disappointing myself. But I'm not pushing my feelings on her in any way. I'm not harassing her, asking her out, or even talking to her much lately. I gave her space and I will continue to give her space.

I'm not trying to change for her necessarily. I just want to improve. She motivates me to improve, to do better, to grow as a human being and as a friend. We all do this for people we cherish.

And I do want her to be happy. If she is happy with someone else, I will move on and try my best to be happy for her. Until then, I can't just turn off my feelings, but I will be mature about it.

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OK as long as you respect that she only wants friendship. And if it's too hard you might consider distance yourself from her instead of torturing yourself. Either way good luck and hope things work out.

Posted by alexscaries

Posted by Timone

Posted by alexscaries

Posted by ImperfectStorm
You will lose yourself in the process of trying to win her over.

When someone tells you how they feel, you have to believe them. We always want to believe there’s a deeper meaning like “she wants me to fight for her”, or “he’s closed off to me because he’s afraid of being hurt”. We will tell ourselves stories to fit the narrative of what we want to believe, then we end up deceiving ourselves. It’s one thing to be deceived by someone else.. it’s another thing to be deceived by yourself.

Focus on the facts and what she is saying directly to you. Trust her when she tells you what she feels.. she is speaking her truth.

It is true that Virgo women prefer to be friends first (I have Virgo Venus and this is how I am, too) but you cannot bet on that. You should not put your life on hold and try to mold yourself into being who you THINK she needs you to be. That doesn’t come across as being authentic at all, and the best way to approach any intimate connection is to be real with yourself and with the other person. Not this Frankenstein version of who you think she wants you to be.

I do agree with this, but sometimes people will use ambiguity to avoid conflict. For example someone might say "I'm a bit busy" rather than saying "I don't want to date you".

True but in this case she straight up told him she only liked him as a friend. That's pretty clear. There's nothing more unattractive with someone changing themselves and their interest to match someone they're interested in. It's not genuine and a big turn-off. But maybe I shouldn't give advice here. I'm a libra.🤭 I will see myself out. 🤸🤣

Just read it back you are right. I thought he was asking if they are still friends. I appreciate the comments from anybody. No bias.

TBF we don't know what he said to her. If he was blatant and direct, fair play.

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Yeh I'm just going of what he shared here. Like her telling him she only sees him as a friend and him trying to figure out how to still get her and changing himself based on what he reads about her sign. It comes across as manipulative and not a genuine way to build a real connection.

Maybe because I've been in her situation with aries men. I think sometimes they have an habit of treating it as a conquest instead of a genuine interest in the other person. At least that's how I felt. I wouldn't say all aries men are like this because tbh you don't come across like the typical aries men I know. Must be your scorpio moon. 👍

Posted by alexscaries

Posted by ImperfectStorm
You will lose yourself in the process of trying to win her over.

When someone tells you how they feel, you have to believe them. We always want to believe there’s a deeper meaning like “she wants me to fight for her”, or “he’s closed off to me because he’s afraid of being hurt”. We will tell ourselves stories to fit the narrative of what we want to believe, then we end up deceiving ourselves. It’s one thing to be deceived by someone else.. it’s another thing to be deceived by yourself.

Focus on the facts and what she is saying directly to you. Trust her when she tells you what she feels.. she is speaking her truth.

It is true that Virgo women prefer to be friends first (I have Virgo Venus and this is how I am, too) but you cannot bet on that. You should not put your life on hold and try to mold yourself into being who you THINK she needs you to be. That doesn’t come across as being authentic at all, and the best way to approach any intimate connection is to be real with yourself and with the other person. Not this Frankenstein version of who you think she wants you to be.

I do agree with this, but sometimes people will use ambiguity to avoid conflict. For example someone might say "I'm a bit busy" rather than saying "I don't want to date you".

click to expand

True but in this case she straight up told him she only liked him as a friend. That's pretty clear. There's nothing more unattractive with someone changing themselves and their interest to match someone they're interested in. It's not genuine and a big turn-off. But maybe I shouldn't give advice here. I'm a libra.🤭 I will see myself out. 🤸🤣