Someone PM Nights to tell him UVD said 7 and not 6.
Posted by AfternoonDelights22
@tiziani

5. This rock musician came from a broken home. She grew up troubled and has had many troubles as an adult battling addiction. There has also always been rumors that she killed her pisces husband.

A. Scorpio

B. Cancer

C. Aries




B. Cancer
Posted by AfternoonDelights22
Someone in the group has 10 minutes to volunteer for question 5


That'd be me
Posted by Chuckcem
Posted by tiziani
Posted by Chuckcem
It seems clear from what you've just said here. The issue is your own self talk. Somewhere deep down, you have the belief that there is a problem with being alone. You yearn for partnership, which is very much a Libra trait. However you're so afraid of rejection that you go for "losers", or rather, guys who will depend on you. If the guys are depending on you, they'll have a harder time leaving you. You know this pattern isn't healthy for you, but it's almost like a drug since it fits your own personal narrative.

But why do you do this? By going for losers, you create the relationships you feel you deserve. You trick yourself into believing that the relationship is fulfilling because the guy "needs" you. In reality you don't see yourself as a worthwhile person. You feel that these "losers" are the best you can get. As you've stated, you know your value on paper (beauty, stability, intelligence, etc), but internally it doesn't register. As a result you do not go for well adjusted guys who would be your equal. It is your fear that these guys would see you and reject you. Therefore the loser guys are a safer option.

How do you fix this? The key is building up your self esteem by knowing your own value. You need to start seeing yourself as a high quality person, a prize even. That's not to say that you should be arrogant or stuck up, but you need to start going for men who have just as much to offer you as you would to them. I find that some Libras have a hard time knowing their own internal value. You need to really start looking at what you truly want and going for it.



I respectfully disagree with this. Reason: Equating your self-worth to the perceived value of men in your life will just make you an object. And, if you think about it, that's really no different from using "being afraid to be alone" as a personal narrative.


It's not about equating her self worth to the value of men in her life, it's abut understanding why she goes after lower quality men in the first place. There's clearly a pattern and therefore a consistent cause. By looking at the end result she can figure out the root of the problem.

I'd say the same thing if she were a man who felt he was constantly going after low grade women. I'd tell him that his own self doubt put him in situations where he was avoiding high quality women because he felt he didn't deserve them. In this case he was too afraid to go after women he felt were "out of his league". I'd tell him the reason he felt anyone was "out of his league" was because he felt lower than those other women somehow. I'd tell him to challenge himself and go for the women he felt were "better".

To put it in different terms, it would be the same idea if she said that she wound up only taking "easy" classes in college and didn't feel that she was being challenged/stimulated. I'd say that this pattern evolved from a inner fear of not feeling intelligent enough to take classes that would be better or more "challenging" for her. A person who perceives themselves as having a high intelligence will often take more challenging courses because they believe that they can still succeed. They understand while the class may be more difficult, it will help them in the long run. In this scenario would you say that the person equated their intelligence to the classes they were taking? No. The two may be related, but aren't directly link. It's all about the person's self perception.

click to expand


I'm even more confused about what you're saying than your first post. I don't get it. But I'm not the OP so it's all good.

I was with you up to the part where you wrote "Somewhere deep down, you have the belief that there is a problem with being alone" since the OP said so herself.

But the rest is all you.

For example:

"However you're so afraid of rejection that you go for "losers""

There's no link there. You've come up with that by yourself. All the OP said was she feels her exes are losers once the relationship goes sour. She's talking about how she handles breakups. You're trying to say it affects the type of men she goes after, when she hasn't said anything about that being a problem.


There are plenty of stories from regular members here of leaving their partners just because they chose to leave, no other reason.
OP, maybe you like fantasy more than anything else right now and a sensual partner would get you out of your head. I can only relate that much to what you've posted, because that's what I went through at some points.

Either way I think what you've posted is very normal, a lot of people could relate to it. There's nothing to suggest you don't value yourself enough because you haven't written all that much. At most, maybe you go after relationships that fuel your ego with the wrong stuff, but again that's simple enough to change when you want to, if that really is the issue.
Posted by Chuckcem
It seems clear from what you've just said here. The issue is your own self talk. Somewhere deep down, you have the belief that there is a problem with being alone. You yearn for partnership, which is very much a Libra trait. However you're so afraid of rejection that you go for "losers", or rather, guys who will depend on you. If the guys are depending on you, they'll have a harder time leaving you. You know this pattern isn't healthy for you, but it's almost like a drug since it fits your own personal narrative.

But why do you do this? By going for losers, you create the relationships you feel you deserve. You trick yourself into believing that the relationship is fulfilling because the guy "needs" you. In reality you don't see yourself as a worthwhile person. You feel that these "losers" are the best you can get. As you've stated, you know your value on paper (beauty, stability, intelligence, etc), but internally it doesn't register. As a result you do not go for well adjusted guys who would be your equal. It is your fear that these guys would see you and reject you. Therefore the loser guys are a safer option.

How do you fix this? The key is building up your self esteem by knowing your own value. You need to start seeing yourself as a high quality person, a prize even. That's not to say that you should be arrogant or stuck up, but you need to start going for men who have just as much to offer you as you would to them. I find that some Libras have a hard time knowing their own internal value. You need to really start looking at what you truly want and going for it.



I respectfully disagree with this. Reason: Equating your self-worth to the perceived value of men in your life will just make you an object. And, if you think about it, that's really no different from using "being afraid to be alone" as a personal narrative.
Happy Belated Birthday!!
Posted by SofiaV87
I'm Libra dominant & seem to get along with practically everyone but on different levels & mostly in friendships not relationships


Happy Belated Birthday Sofia
It's the opposite for me, too. I'd say mood comes before getting dressed (if getting dressed even happens at all).
Posted by Distilled
Posted by tiziani
Oh and another one, I'm pretty sure I lied about my virginity to my girlfriend at the time.

See, some lies are so innocuous it's hard to remember!


2 for 2. Or 3? Lol.
😅

click to expand


Lol i guess we'll never know for sure.
Posted by notsosure
Posted by tiziani
Oh and another one, I'm pretty sure I lied about my virginity to my girlfriend at the time.

See, some lies are so innocuous it's hard to remember!


Why did you lie?

I know everybody lies sometimes, white lies also, but I Def. Kept my opinion from a guy, because I knew if I spoke up, he wouldn't want to be with me anymore. Oh god, it was such a ridicouless part of my life 😂😂
click to expand



I can't remember if i lied about it to her or not but i remember not wanting anyone to know i was a virgin or else i believed they'd dump me.

Oh and another one, I'm pretty sure I lied about my virginity to my girlfriend at the time.

See, some lies are so innocuous it's hard to remember!
Posted by notsosure
Posted by tiziani
I had forgotten it was a lie until it became true.


Elaborate please. Seems like there is a story there...?!
click to expand


Not an interesting story imo. Relatively normal stuff honestly.
I wouldn't want to add a partner to any kind of social media so i wouldn't know if they're mentioning me or not.
I had forgotten it was a lie until it became true.
Posted by 2Moon
Posted by Fragrance
Posted by 2Moon
Posted by Libralove666
ARIES 💖💖💖


No.

..Are you crazy?


Is it so unthinkable?


Nothing is unthinkable..
click to expand


Then you're both in agreement lol Success!