I am what I am
Scorp sun * Cancer moon * Sagi rising + merc * Lib mars

@TerramineLightvoid
Well ya know it, ima be back stalkin' ya

Muahahhahahaha!!
Lol you should try auditioning, T
Lol. Just don't get too caught up in it
I'm trying to be an adult here, don't encourage me otherwise
Awww thank you 😘

Consistency in practice yes. I'm so feckin' moody even though I'm too old for that.

Funny, story. One night, I got a vivid dream that I was performing on some small stage for a bunch of people. I had a computer set and I was produci   Read more
How can I get to this point again? :/

https://soundcloud.com/enigma-60/dash
Posted by lisabethur8
Posted by AneemA
Posted by lisabethur8
Posted by HeavyEntertainmentShow
Her confidence issues are her own, they're not something YOU can fix. That's the root of her problems.

Restoring her confidence ----> strength to give that piece of butter the flick = jealousy gone.


wow that is true.


OP you can't help people no matter what.

I tried to do that too, all the time in the past with my closest friends, who need help with confidence in terms with being with a man.

I don't do it anymore. I had my own problems back then. but I never shared them because I was too afraid and too proud and too ashamed that I was with an abuser and a cheater, womanizer. I wanted to keep helping other people with reationships when I was in terrible relationship myself!!!

'isn't that the IRONY of life???


you are blind to see what you have in your own life when you're comforting your girlfriends or your family relatives who ask for help.

it's weird I don't do that anymore, but I still really really enjoy relationshps and astrology.

it goes hand in hand.

edit

learning astrology is hobby based but it's also addictive. lol but I like you folks. you all are really good people many of you.


Awh come on, you should go back doing the relationship astrology readings.

Ahaha yes about the irony. But if I'm not too absorbed, I'll tell them that I'm reminding myself as well on my own suggestions.


I still like reading relationships and stuff, but no when I was helping before, I wasn't into astrology.

now that i'm into astrology it's just part of the package, at times. and I like the dynamics of relationshps and the psychology of it.

but sometimes I get too deep absorbed so I have to take breaks, it's not good.
click to expand


Ehehe, yes as in to self re-center.
Posted by lisabethur8
Posted by HeavyEntertainmentShow
Her confidence issues are her own, they're not something YOU can fix. That's the root of her problems.

Restoring her confidence ----> strength to give that piece of butter the flick = jealousy gone.


wow that is true.


OP you can't help people no matter what.

I tried to do that too, all the time in the past with my closest friends, who need help with confidence in terms with being with a man.

I don't do it anymore. I had my own problems back then. but I never shared them because I was too afraid and too proud and too ashamed that I was with an abuser and a cheater, womanizer. I wanted to keep helping other people with reationships when I was in terrible relationship myself!!!

'isn't that the IRONY of life???


you are blind to see what you have in your own life when you're comforting your girlfriends or your family relatives who ask for help.

it's weird I don't do that anymore, but I still really really enjoy relationshps and astrology.

it goes hand in hand.

edit

learning astrology is hobby based but it's also addictive. lol but I like you folks. you all are really good people many of you.
click to expand


Awh come on, you should go back doing the relationship astrology readings.

Ahaha yes about the irony. But if I'm not too absorbed, I'll tell them that I'm reminding myself as well on my own suggestions.
Posted by nikkistar
Posted by AneemA
Posted by nikkistar
I have a few questions about this situation before I can try and help.

How long was she single between her abusive ex, and this new fiance? And who is the Scorpio, and whom is the Pisces?

Not that I take social media very importantly, but I think he is probably triggering her additional insecurities because she probably has little appearance on his. Am I right?

Last, what is your intuition telling you about the situation?


Uhm idk, think just over a year. From a over 3+ yrs relationship.
The fiancé, have no idea.

Socmed, yes at least according to her, not much. I havent checked it myself though.

She's scorp, he's pisces.

I feel it's more to her being a lil' too sensitive & overly dependant emotionally on him.

What do you think?


Hmmm.

She's had time between the two relationships to "heal" so to speak from the abusive guy. But I don't think she truly did though, by the sound of it. She hasn't gotten to that part, where she recognizes triggers of hers and is able to communicate them to her fiance. And for some reason, I sense that he wouldn't really care or understand them if she did. Cause if she is still feeling insecure about it, which is what the jealousy is stemmed from, then he isn't doing his "job" to make her feel secure.

I have found that when I was jealous about things in a relationship, it was always because something didn't add up for me. And since we can investigate things, I have a feeling that how she perceives his social media, is probably accurate. Now if he is purposely limiting her exposure on his social media, is a whole different thing. He may not be one that cares about social media, or is more private. Without really knowing him, we can only go by what she says.

Personally me, him not really announcing his engagement, and how she has taken care of him financially, worries me. I am going to assume that men wearing engagement rings are common there, as it isn't in the US. So him not wearing it, is also pretty troublesome. Without really knowing the two, there are some red flags that I think need to be addressed. I am not very confident that he is as into the relationship as she may be. And because of her perceived notion that no man would want her, she may be settling because of that.
click to expand


Yes good point on "She hasn't gotten to that part, where she recognizes triggers of hers and is able to communicate them to her fiance."

This, how she, I and you see the situation. For all of those reasons you have covered. But better to also seek what's outside the box, right?
Posted by LadyNeptune
Posted by AneemA
Posted by LadyNeptune
Here in the US it's fairly common for couples to do pre-marital counseling before tying the knot. The idea is you gain tools to communicate and navigate through life while keeping your marriage solid.
Do they have anything like that where your from? Usually the priest/pastor who will marry them would be a good place to start. If this was my friend I'd probably tactfully suggest this.


It's not common and rarely have heard couples do this but usually during the party, which is semi ceremony, there will be some religious proceedings and short pep talk by the kadi (the one who marry them).

This could be suggested too, i guess.


I don't think a pep talk will do the trick. The point of counseling is to get both parties to communicate their concerns and frustrations with one another.
click to expand


Mhm. What I'm thinking is to find out a contact from their kadi to find the service for this. I picture they will have private sessions with a preacher over a period of time.
Posted by Impulsv
Posted by tiziani
Posted by AneemA
Posted by tiziani
Sounds like a power struggle.


How so?


It's a power struggle when small details like social media activity is enough to upset the entire apple cart.

And being unavailable to your partner's requests. Maybe one partner tries to control the other with accusations or nagging to do something in the past, and the other looks to control the situation by holding out on those requests.

I could speculate but what I'm saying is they sound like they're at a stage where two people are fighting for control over the bond.

Do I think it's ideal to be at that stage when you're engaged? No. But I've seen couples overcome worse odds than this.


It's not about the social media it's about deep down she knows he is using her for her money
N deep down she knows she buying her love
He is not engaged in this relationship
click to expand


Oh yes she strongly worries about this, being taken advantage of financially and sexually. But I told her to calm down and seize her help to find that out. No such action has been taken by her, though?? Instead keeps coming with an excuse, but he's struggling, I won't feel good if I don't help him.
Posted by Impulsv
Posted by AneemA
Just about last week I came to my friend"s engagement party. I was super happy, thinking that this means all of her worries must have been resolved and can grasp the idea that her previous concerns were just false and she can finally believe that her bf actually loves her.

Background:
- They met around I think only a year ago.

- They decided to live together .. Uhm okay just to be safe 6 months later.

- She has been supporting him financially, lending him money (okay not lend, actually gives) and buy cams, speakers for him

- He's a musician and music teacher. His income is unstable.

- She has got a deformity on her left eye, but she's actually pretty.

Right, what else... Ya okay, oh.

If it means anything, her prev relationship with a prior bf was a disaster. Verbal abuse and finally physical abuse over control and jealousy had gotten more severe prior to her breakup.

Her esteem got shaken, often times she told me that nobody would want her because of her physicality. Fyi, the prior bf told her she was ugly and that she should be glad he still want to be with her.

Now her issues with her fiancé.

Well her jealousy. But the source for that I think because (she often told me) how "unavailable" he is even when he's there at her place. Him busy with his cellphone and collaborating with female vocalists.
I tried my best, to put some logical frame of mind into my suggestions even I sometimes emphatize with her.

Right. So, jealousy and emotional unavailability are the core issues, oh yeah and her torn esteem.

Now get this.
So last week they got engaged right?
But no news on his social media, he didn't care to look at their engagement party's photo album, and he doesn't wear his engagement ring.

I am now speechless.

Can somebody help me, as to how or what to say to sooth or suggest ideas for her?

Remember, right now she thinks she should be just grateful with him around because no one would want her if she breaks up with him.

Considerations appreciated.

She is settling because she thinks she doesn't deserve more. U nailed it
But all you can do remind her her true beauty n worth
I don't think u can stop the marriage but will be a hard sad lesson for her
click to expand


I have tried over times help her to see her qualities and beauty. All failed and so I came to the last resort, then suggest getting aesthetic surgery if this issue is too hard to shake off.
Still convincing her.
Posted by xXxQueenliciaXxX
If she's not happy now, she's going to be even more unhappy once they're married.



The worst thing to do is go into that type of commitment with those kinds of doubts.




If they get married, I guarantee they won't last.


I told her too to really think and assess deeply of the exact reasons of the situation and anything that comes out of doing so, should be addressed and expressed before the wedding.

The wedding will not be until next year so i think this can give enough time to resolve any foundation issues, I hope.
Posted by LadyNeptune
Here in the US it's fairly common for couples to do pre-marital counseling before tying the knot. The idea is you gain tools to communicate and navigate through life while keeping your marriage solid.
Do they have anything like that where your from? Usually the priest/pastor who will marry them would be a good place to start. If this was my friend I'd probably tactfully suggest this.


It's not common and rarely have heard couples do this but usually during the party, which is semi ceremony, there will be some religious proceedings and short pep talk by the kadi (the one who marry them).

This could be suggested too, i guess.
Posted by Gemitati
Posted by AneemA
Posted by Gemitati
Posted by AneemA
Can anyone tell me about whats behind the mystery of him nor wearing engagement ring, not even bothered to look at the photo albums?


I am afraid engagement for him doesn't nessesarily meaning there is going to be a wedding!
He needs her as a sugar momma.
She pays him to be with her.
He doesn't consider himself engaged or commuted to her. She is just that - the wallet.

Unfortunately there is nothing you can do love. She will lose you as a friend before she will lose him as a BF!

So keep your eye on her and lend her your shoulder or ears...

What's her tarot says? Just curious.


Ah, yeah let's consult tarot too, why haven't thought of this? Could also add ideas


Please tell. I am curious!
click to expand


Lol can I post it up in tarot reading forum. Weh, that'll be too much I think. Ah its kay. I know some of the readers I can check with them on pms if I feel the need.
Posted by nikkistar
I have a few questions about this situation before I can try and help.

How long was she single between her abusive ex, and this new fiance? And who is the Scorpio, and whom is the Pisces?

Not that I take social media very importantly, but I think he is probably triggering her additional insecurities because she probably has little appearance on his. Am I right?

Last, what is your intuition telling you about the situation?


Uhm idk, think just over a year. From a over 3+ yrs relationship.
The fiancé, have no idea.

Socmed, yes at least according to her, not much. I havent checked it myself though.

She's scorp, he's pisces.

I feel it's more to her being a lil' too sensitive & overly dependant emotionally on him.

What do you think?
Posted by Gemitati
Posted by AneemA
Can anyone tell me about whats behind the mystery of him nor wearing engagement ring, not even bothered to look at the photo albums?


I am afraid engagement for him doesn't nessesarily meaning there is going to be a wedding!
He needs her as a sugar momma.
She pays him to be with her.
He doesn't consider himself engaged or commuted to her. She is just that - the wallet.

Unfortunately there is nothing you can do love. She will lose you as a friend before she will lose him as a BF!

So keep your eye on her and lend her your shoulder or ears...

What's her tarot says? Just curious.
click to expand


Ah, yeah let's consult tarot too, why haven't thought of this? Could also add ideas
Posted by LadyNeptune
Posted by AneemA
Can anyone tell me about whats behind the mystery of him nor wearing engagement ring, not even bothered to look at the photo albums?


Does he even have a wedding ring? Maybe he's embarrassed that he can't afford one and doesn't want to wear something she'll purchase, it's emasculating...
click to expand


He has it. I don't know who purchased the ring. Her family has more means than his though.