NO i do not yell at him in front of the kids, matter of fact i dont yell at all. you can hear it in my tone that i am very upset....and my body language but its always behind close doors. and about the bathroom, we had an agreement. i stick to my agreement and basically i EXPECT him to stick with his. me being a neat freak is not as anal as you all may think. but anyway i want him to learn that when we agree to something i aint goin to break my end of the deal. to me it looked like you -vt, and p-a just saw his side, like im the bad guy that screwed up everything and made my fiancee cry and my future step-kids miserable. not the case....not at all. i soaked in what you both said, and no i was not hurt by it, but it did seem that i was not hurt at all in this situation since you VT Say you all about the kids. when did i say i disliked them or that i didnt want them around. maybe you think im such the typical aries that selfish and cares less about anything or anyone but my feelings. why would i have said i would like advice on soft-speaking with my fiancee when we come to disagreements. i know what i did wrong, yet i still get looked at all in the wrong here by vt and p-a.
thank you LP AND FLLMP AND IRISH.... I i really felt attacked by the other comments insinuating that i was the bad guy in the story. I made it a point to say what i did that hurt his feelings and how i felt he played a role in my attitude. well we did make-up, and i knew we would. i just have a really hard time taming my sharp tongue. like i said i have never been with a man so sensitive in my life. funny thing is when he does it he feels like its all my fault and i made him that mad to speak to me in a "nasty" tone. but for the most part we are fine. i think he is too damn sensitive. i mean wait til he meets all my family when we fly to chicago next year for a latin family re-union lol, doulbe wammy with my fire tendancies and latin attitude as he calls it lol. but i do love him and boy has it been hard this week to keep my mouth under control.
as far as the cleaning goes, he pitches in a bit. he told me he believes in sharing the responsibilites of house chores 50% /50% ....
sometimes that is not the case. his idea of cleaning and mine are not quite the same. but usually i dont mind cleaning up what he missed or decided not to do...so long as he helps to ease the load on me. but we have 2and a half bath. so we agreed that i would do the guest bath and the half as long as he cleaned our bed room bathroom. its now been a month lol. i refuse to shower there or pee for that matter. once he's done with school we'll be able to afford a cleaning service atleast 2x a month. but hell no i aint touchin our bathroom. o well....
thank you all for responding to my posts. til next time T.C A.L
rules we both agreed on to to keep our home in peace. rules he helped put in place because of all the things he says about his up-bringing and how he was raising his kids with his ex b4 the divorce. but NOW....Its when things have changed. Why is it that they have dif rules? and yes another thing is my wrong doing. i never said i was innocent, i wanted advice on how to be more sensitive with him and his feelings. b4 him i never had a man tell me i was mean. i do love him and want to change my attitude.
wow. i guess i didnt keep my details in check. My man has dif rules for his kids now that he doesn't live with his children. I try to tell him that he should not have dif rules just for this reason. its like he is making up for not being with them full time. i told him there is no need for that but he wants to be the nice dad so they wont feel the pain of his abscence. (he works part time and goes to school full time btw). the reason why i need sleep more then ever is one: i work nites, and two: i have the hardest time sleeping during the day. i got laid off in december, got a job within the same hospital at a dif facility after 4wks, so i dont have the pto i would have needed to take that time off. anyways..... we made plans to celebrate that week-end. the plans for his children were for his kids to come to our side of town and stay with grandma during the day...simply because i need to sleep during the day and they were going to be staying with us starting wednesday.... the day of their birthday. My mans EX was supposed to meet my man and i early, around 10am that day. she dragged her ass until 6pm. at that time we had already eaten dinner, (my kids and fiancee and i) soon after is when his kids arrived. the point is all the times they come here to visit they have seen and heard of the rules. yes i understand he bent the rules because it was his daughters birthday. but if they would have come over early like they were supposed to, they would have cleaned up by bed time. instead he decided to have a party all night long and ofcorse everyone was too tired to do anything. but he left no instructions for them to clean up the next day, and like i said the younger one seems to have a hard time following the rules for whatever reason. yes maybe it was selfish on my part, but hey im in more need of sleep now then before. the problem here is we did discuss how things were to take place. why on earth wouldnt i have my 3yr old at home with me during the day if i could operate with out sleep????? That is the main problem here....he knew he was supposed to have his kids out from 9-3pm so i can sleep. why???? because they were coming to visit during the week-day, wed, th, fri!!! those are days i need total silence to simulate the night time. a person who works nites knows how hard it can be to get good sleep, and for me being preggo its harder. i am rather fond of his kids, i am complaining about my fiancee because he all of a sudden forgets all the rules.
i dont normally yell at my kids either, but if i feel i have to get louder to get their attention, i do it cuz they are mine. and my man has authority over them as well. he is firm but not with his kids. i truly believe its cuz he wants to make up for not living with them full time. i know i need to control my sharp tongue, he's a pisces and i aries, i know he is way sensitive, so how and what can i do? thats one thing i do want to learn is how to be more like him on the sensitivity level.....we are always going to have issues. i need help in the biting my tongue part and not being so nasty when i xpress myself. one thing i dont do is do it in front of my kids. nor his. and i dont yell. i just use very mean words, and they aint cus words...but they hurt just as bad, if not worse. i know this and i want to change it.
VG- yes i did express how i feel but i was cooler about it. i didnt want him to get embarresed. plus i never seen his place that way til the day i met his kids. i am not hardcore about my kids keeping a tidy place, but i do teach them how to clean up when they are done with with something. how would you like to have walked all over popcorn and stepped on slurpy juice and had your couches stained with chocolate cake. i was never raised like that, but im way more laxed then my mom...we were soilders when it came to chores and cleaning up after play time. and you see after having discussed things with my man when he first moved to my place i expected him to enforce those rules. why are the rules dif for my kids but for his its like "PARTY TIME!!!!" I want us to meet in the middle. i did trust that he would enforce the rules. but its been hard. he practically want me to be cool about it is what it sounds like to me.
As for my working nites, it is temp. i plan on going back to days after maternity leave. the incentives for working nites are great, and my man is in school full time, im supporting our family. i help pay for his child support. i wanted to do it because my mans heart is golden and he is a great man. but do i have to suffer or fear what his kids might do because he just wont discipline them? hey they are 9 and 11. shoot...i was doing chores at that age. but i think he may think they are too young for chores. i mean its just common courtesy to clean up after you play, especially if their not your toys, and technically they dont live with us full time. and what bugged me is that he didnt discipline them. i dont feel comfortable doin it cuz of the fact that they dont live with us. i feel its his responsibilty more then mine. i dont want to yell at them... once i asked them politely not to sit in the living room while they eat their food. the 9yr old did not think that rule applied to her. and it happened on more then one occasion. so if they dont listen to me i feel like, ok, they need to listen to dad. but guess what...he lets it happen. so i look like the bad guy. i love my man i want him to be happy and have fun but its not fair that he wont meet me in the middle with the rules for his kids.
because it was summer and we were always out having fun. but this time, it was nuts. its not that i felt stuck with the kids, its that i felt he could have been more responsible and planned their sitter situation better. he had 6wks to plan it. but at the last min he asks his mother and she declined. i am moody when i dont get enough sleep and on top of it all i have to be up all night working. i know i got carried away with my sharp tongue. its just i dont know now how to tell him im sorry. i just want him to validate my reasons for feeling this way. i know im in control of my emotions but dammit it would have never been this way if his mother had them for a few hours on thursday and friday. if they were living with us they would have sitting arrangements like at a daycare of something. just like my younger one has. but see if they were livin with us, they would have been at school those three days. they are 9 and 11. my man is sad and i am sad now too cuz i hurt him. but i just wish he recognized his part too. i know i was mean to him.
wait a min i do have a son and a daughter and he is adopting both. he has a heart of gold. and this is not the first time his children come over to our home. but it has never been during the week. and my younger baby goes to daycare from 9-3 because i have to sleep during the day. when my man is done with his day he gets them home and we spend the evening together til about 730 or 8 when i go take a nap b4 i go to work. his kids come during the wknds. and we have a good time.... im not using this to look like "woe is me" the victom. i do accept his kids and as a matter of fact they already said they want to come live here when they turn 13. wether its all talk cuz they hate their mom or miss dad too much, they know i am not mean to them or dislike them. the thing is my man and i talked about it 6wks ago. he told me with out even having to request it, that his girls would stay at grandmas til 3pm. and about the mess, my kids make messes, sure they do....but, never has it looked like a circus came thru our living room. its like his own flesh had a whole dif set of rules. when i first met them he was living alone. i hardly ever saw them because he wanted to spend quality time alone with them. i respected that and never bothered him on wknds if they were over. when we got serious, i then got to meet them and i was speechless when i saw his apt..holy buckets it was a pig-sty. i had a flashback of it when i came home thursday morning to find our place looking very similar to that first time when i met his girls at his place. time goes on and so he moves in with me....his kids come over the first time....my kids were not there. i went grocery shopping and came back and they had made a huge mess of the toys within 2 hours. i mean it looked like a tornado came into my kids room and dragged it all the way out towards the hall and into the living room. I kept my cool....believe me i wanted to say something but i waited to see what he did. this was our place now so i waited. at the end of the day he did nothing. my kids came home and they were like: "what happened to our house!!!!" they even got shocked! so all 4 got together and cleaned up the tornado. I had a serious talk and told him i wanted him to set limits on how they acted. they are good kids, its him that wont put limits on them cuz he feels bad for not living with them full time. but he agreed and and every other time they came over it had been ok. we didnt spend too much time at home though cuz it was summe
My pisces man is awsome. but we get into it sometimes. his kids came over on wednesday cuz the oldest shares his same bday. i work nights. I could not sleep because i got our home ready for them. they were initially supposed to stay at grndmas during the day while i slept but he procrastinated for six weeks and i got stuck with them at home. he said...baby its cool they will be quiet. i am pregnant with his baby now and i have become ultra sensitive to noise. he knows this. but i gave it a shot anyway. well i didnt sleep a wink. i was pretty upset. so thursday morninig i come home hoping to pass out soon as my head landed on my pillow. well to my surprise i found popcorn and candy stuck to our carpet. cake on the couch. my man said he would put all the food we had for dinner the nite b4 away after his kids ate. but he left it all out. we had a 3 corse meal and all spolied. i was furious. and one of his kids didnt follow instructions when i said please sit on the table to eat not the living room. well she snuck to the living room anyway. finally my man came home at 1pm thursday. i let him have it. and he thinks i got a problem with his kids visiting us. i was furious and sleep deprived and pregnant but he feels i went out way out of line with how nasty i treated him for my suffering and for not being cool that he let his kids run wild the night they came to ur home. oh did i mention he went to the jaccuzzi that night and all the wet clothes were all over the floor. their luggage all opened and everything all over the floor. i was mean and nasty all day. not to the kids. but to him hell yes. now what do i do? he thinks im to apologize!!!
i agree that somewhat we reveal our sign by behaviour. i hav a rising in sag and moon in picses. i can be rather shy with new ppl. maybe i fear i won be accepted. i hope to evolve into a great aries. u know...knowin all ur traits and using them 4the best.
very educational. my bf the fish is just as u all describe. hes so freaken dramatic too. we have issues cuz he says he will do 1 thing n fall short. alot of da times. so i call him a liar. he says its cuz he doesnt wana hurt or disappoint me. and i put my faith in him when he says he will do wat he says. but on a funnier note lol he told me he hates that our neighbor or ppl in general talk 2 him about their problems. so i say well do somethin about it. stop listenin to the ones u just dont give a crap about. so he says o no that wud just hurt them and they just wana vent....WTF!
aries tends to fall in love rather qick. well i have fallen for this wonerful fish i call Nemo lol. now fire and water dont mix but i have found love and love how nemo loves me. and i love him. are there any success stories with aries females and male picses. or vice versa. I must admit i got scared a lil cuz he came on super strong at first but i decided to embrace it and with him i feel so at peace and i feel truly loved. accepted. and we are too happy with eachothers company that we are making a bold move and are planning to live together. it just feels right. im still in shock of it all. i never thought cuz he aint my type of man but i sure am glad we are together. and i hope this lasts a life time!!!
hey capris, check it... I met a hunk-a-saggy and guess what. He is so not the decision maker. he just goes with the flow and loves being chased. I as an aries woman loved chasing him. I caught him and had incredible hot sex lol. May i add he seems to think i am the best he's ever had lol!! Anyway, I decided that he does like to have his space and we were only connecting on a sexual level so i have no problems giving him all the space he needs. I do however love to have convo with him and he is soooo yummy to look at. so i will just call him when ever i want and hope we meet everytime i call. if not i already know his type. would love to see if he falls for me. I mean he already gave me a pretty big title lol. and i respect his space. so let us see if he makes a return soon.
Oh dang it!!! I heard him say to a coworker that he has never and would never date anyone from work. He has that rule. either that or he knows im after him and just said that. but i doubt that he knows. I guess I have to burst this one out. (sigh)
"just give him flirty looks and look away when he looks at you"....
Good one class act, unless he's taken. I dont know that yet so, I will try that. I was telling a friend of ours that I was now looking for an aries male since maybe i would have better luck, He walked by as I said this and My friend and his said..."oh, You're in luck, He's an aries male!" I knew this about him, I did that purposely lol. He kinda gave me a look. But had no expression. I just acted like I was mortified by this and walked away! I hope to see him today, I leave when he comes in. We work in the same hospital.
arieslatina Hide | 1/8/2008 5:03:52 PM | ip: xxx.xxx.xxx.12E private message other posts Its in their nature. I broke up with mine a few weeks ago. They want it all. since they can see both sides...the good and the bad of a problem, they have a hard time making up their mind. My mom is a gem too. I called her a hypocrite and a two faced. later on dealing with men i realized its a gem thing. supposedly male gems get better at stability with age. but then again see how many times Trump go married, He's a Gem. They want to experience everything before they make up their mind. but they are such great lovers that we want them even thou they are fickle. hoping they too will feel the same way that they will not want to go anywhere. be strong. They do move on quicker than us. My ex-and I had a convo about how long it took for us to move on from a relationship. He said that He was hurtin but he was practical....he still has to go to work and go out with his friends and have fun. He would never sit and cry for a girl cuz its a waste of time....it wasnt going to change anything. So when we broke up I felt like damn, this man is just having the time of his life with the new chick he cheated on me with. He never said im sorry for doing me the way he did. but I think its cuz he didnt feel any remorse. I hate him for that. He had no problem having us both, and he always knew just what to say so that I wouldnt worry about him cheating. Made me feel guilty that I wasnt supportive since he was going thru some tuff times. Girl he made me feel so bad i thought i was the nut case. but his behaviour did change alot. thats cuz in my case ms new chic was taking up all his time. I loved him alot. I hated that we couldnt work it out. But i was a phase, I was the toy that lost its lust. I think you are better off with out him.
Its in their nature. I broke up with mine a few weeks ago. They want it all. since they can see both sides...the good and the bad of a problem, they have a hard time making up their mind. My mom is a gem too. I called her a hypocrite and a two faced. later on dealing with men i realized its a gem thing. supposedly male gems get better at stability with age. but then again see how many times Trump go married, He's a Gem. They want to experience everything before they make up their mind. but they are such great lovers that we want them even thou they are fickle. hoping they too will feel the same way that they will not want to go anywhere. be strong. They do move on quicker than us. My ex-and I had a convo about how long it took for us to move on from a relationship. He said that He was hurtin but he was practical....he still has to go to work and go out with his friends and have fun. He would never sit and cry for a girl cuz its a waste of time....it wasnt going to change anything. So when we broke up I felt like damn, this man is just having the time of his life with the new chick he cheated on me with. He never said im sorry for doing me the way he did. but I think its cuz he didnt feel any remorse. I hate him for that. He had no problem having us both, and he always knew just what to say so that I wouldnt worry about him cheating. Made me feel guilty that I wasnt supportive since he was going thru some tuff times. Girl he made me feel so bad i thought i was the nut case. but his behaviour did change alot. thats cuz in my case ms new chic was taking up all his time. I loved him alot. I hated that we couldnt work it out. But i was a phase, I was the toy that lost its lust. I think you are better off with out him.
Its in their nature. I broke up with mine a few weeks ago. They want it all. since they can see both sides...the good and the bad of a problem, they have a hard time making up their mind. My mom is a gem too. I called her a hypocrite and a two faced. later on dealing with men i realized its a gem thing. supposedly male gems get better at stability with age. but then again see how many times Trump go married, He's a Gem. They want to experience everything before they make up their mind. but they are such great lovers that we want them even thou they are fickle. hoping they too will feel the same way that they will not want to go anywhere. be strong.