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Astrofan
joined February 24, 2017
  • Posted by MyStarsShine
    Posted by Astrofan
    Posted by MyStarsShine
    What should you do ?

    Read this again ~

    *Then I found out again that he was hanging around the ex again*

    So you want to be with a man that is torn between two women and can't make his mind up?

    Really? Is that what you want?

    If he wanted you, he wouldn't behave this way, he would make his feelings clear

    Move on



    I used to think like that. But it's never that black and white.
    Remember, we're not exclusive and we're just getting to know each other. So what can I demand really over someone he's known for over 2 years really?
    You are right about one thing though. I definitely deserve way more respect and consideration than he's tossing at me. And I'm about to let him know that ??.


    If you were/are sleeping with him it's very black and white, you tell him if he wants to be with other women, he is not with you

    That is how you gain respect. If you are not sleeping with him, then fair enough

    It's up to you to put the boundary line in
    click to expand


    I like you ??
  • Posted by MyStarsShine
    What should you do ?

    Read this again ~

    *Then I found out again that he was hanging around the ex again*

    So you want to be with a man that is torn between two women and can't make his mind up?

    Really? Is that what you want?

    If he wanted you, he wouldn't behave this way, he would make his feelings clear

    Move on



    I used to think like that. But it's never that black and white.
    Remember, we're not exclusive and we're just getting to know each other. So what can I demand really over someone he's known for over 2 years really?
    You are right about one thing though. I definitely deserve way more respect and consideration than he's tossing at me. And I'm about to let him know that ??.
  • Posted by Mutabull
    Posted by Astrofan
    Posted by Mutabull
    ? He sounds like me.... Gemini sun, Taurus moon... my Venus in Gemini... I have acted exactly that same way... broken up and got back together with my libra 10 times in the last 14 months. Dated others in between for a brief stint...went back to my lil black book or online dating sometimes in between.

    IMO, if he is like me, unless and until he is really done with her, you will continue to be his go to rebound when he is pissed at her or *thinks* he is done..but the minute they rekindle you will get ghosted or the short end of the communication stick.. be given just enough that you are still an available option. Sorry, harsh but true. ? Especially if you aren't giving much attention and the ex seems like a better option. Taurus moon likes to stick to what they know and what's comfortable.

    PS... I have a hard time with sag moons... they are (ironically) too distracted and don't give enough attention or affection (one reason I gave up on a scorp/sag I liked and went back to my libra). ?‍♀️


    What's your advice in this case?


    I don't know him personally, so take it as an opinion only.. if he can't be honest with you then I would assume it's because he's not done with her. I tended to avoid taking directly about my libra when I dated others because I'm a horrible liar and it would have been easy to see I wasn't over him. If you can emotionally stay at arms length until he is for sure done with her, that's what I would do. Otherwise, just be well aware of what you are doing, which is taking the short end of the stick and know that there is a good chance they are still very much in discussions consistently..

    What are her placements?
    click to expand


    Hmm to be honest, I feel like I'm kind of emotionally attached and it's a little hurtful when he ghosts like this. So I want to detach myself and forget it. But then, it also seems like he would like nothing more than to move forward with me but keeps getting pulled back into the situation (from what I've heard). Given this, I feel like I should probably remove myself and ignore any of his attempts to come back. Thoughts?
  • Umm not sure what her placements are but I know she's also a Gemini
  • Posted by Koniuchaa
    Posted by Astrofan
    Posted by Koniuchaa
    Stop answering


    Tell him off? I enjoy telling people off these days ?


    No, I wouldn't do that. Just move on
    click to expand


    ☹️
  • Posted by Koniuchaa
    Stop answering


    Tell him off? I enjoy telling people off these days ?
  • Posted by Mutabull
    ? He sounds like me.... Gemini sun, Taurus moon... my Venus in Gemini... I have acted exactly that same way... broken up and got back together with my libra 10 times in the last 14 months. Dated others in between for a brief stint...went back to my lil black book or online dating sometimes in between.

    IMO, if he is like me, unless and until he is really done with her, you will continue to be his go to rebound when he is pissed at her or *thinks* he is done..but the minute they rekindle you will get ghosted or the short end of the communication stick.. be given just enough that you are still an available option. Sorry, harsh but true. ? Especially if you aren't giving much attention and the ex seems like a better option. Taurus moon likes to stick to what they know and what's comfortable.

    PS... I have a hard time with sag moons... they are (ironically) too distracted and don't give enough attention or affection (one reason I gave up on a scorp/sag I liked and went back to my libra). ?‍♀️


    What's your advice in this case?
  • What's your advice in this case?
  • Posted by DwellingOnMove
    " I will no longer tolerate snake behaviour when all I'm doing is showing loyalty. "

    yes, this is understandable. why should you tolerate them. you have better things to do.

    in my book it is written, that Monkey says gently "thank you" after Monkey has short-changed you once again. Indeed the Monkey I mentioned above told me, "thank you for making me a person". we met when he was recovering from a crisis.

    he was the perfect bf for me. we had an active and intellectual life. never dull.


    This is not okay!!

  • Posted by sleepwalker
    Where is his Mercury


    Just checked. Mercury in Gemini
  • Posted by lilyofthevalley987
    geminis tend to mirror,are u sure u didnt do something to offend or push him,for him to go to her?

    as a taurus moon he craves for stability and avoids high maintenance women,but his venus look for fun,attention and passion
    but the question is since he runs hot and cold what do u expect from him?


    Hmm, well as a Virgo, I've been very stable. I've also been pretty flirtatious but I'm not needy at all and he sees that. My moon sign shows him that not much bothers me and I'm very relaxed. Maybe I don't give enough attention?
    When we started talking again, I wouldn't let him come over for a while but I told him why.
    What I expect, which is what I told him, is that he's open and honest no matter what. Which he still won't be!!

  • Posted by DwellingOnMove
    Posted by Astrofan
    Posted by Mind-Monkey
    Monkeys are amazing creatures swinging our way with messages of intelligence, intensity and involvement. Perhaps you have forgotten that playfulness and entertainment are good for the soul?

    If a monkey has come visiting it’s mission is to remind us that our journey on this planet is not a solitary one.


    I don't understand how monkeys don't understand that there are others around. What happens when you lose everyone? Do you then understand what a give and take is?
    I don't think you can lose everyone.

    but also there is in life things like cardinal/fatal mistakes. but you do your biggest mistakes maybe during your biggest projects? a person should keep being the person who he/she thinks he/she is.

    we are not here to survive. we are here to be us selves.
    there's a lot supporting us to survive. for what? for adding our 2 cents. and it's better to do it as the whole sum of our attributes, and not as the unified modification of everybody.

    I had heartbreak with a cancer-Leo-cusper Monkey. I forgave him immediately. Cause I saw he was on a journey for bigger goals.
    click to expand


    Fair enough. I used to forgive the monkeys in my life too for the simple fact that they just "didn't know how to be different". The fact is that's not good enough. I don't care if it's in their nature, I will no longer tolerate snake behaviour when all I'm doing is showing loyalty.
  • Posted by Mind-Monkey
    Monkeys are amazing creatures swinging our way with messages of intelligence, intensity and involvement. Perhaps you have forgotten that playfulness and entertainment are good for the soul?

    If a monkey has come visiting it’s mission is to remind us that our journey on this planet is not a solitary one.


    I don't understand how monkeys don't understand that there are others around. What happens when you lose everyone? Do you then understand what a give and take is?
  • Soo started seeing this Gemini who's been trying to talk to me for years but I gave him my treetrunk off vibe til I actually decided to give him a chance. I'm a Virgo, moon sign saggitarius and Venus in Leo and Chinese sign metal goat. He's a Gemini, moon sign taurus and Venus in Leo also a metal goat.

    Anyways, long story short, everything was going great, until he ghosted. He seemed really sincere but his actions showed differently. Me, having a Venus in Leo, put my crown on and told him to treetrunk off. I later found out, he had gotten back with an ex. Obviously being a gem, he showed up a month later, when it was done. Again ?. He tried to overexplain and give excuses but I confronted him with what I knew. He apologized and told me his behaviour wasn't right. I told him I understood the situation and just wished he had been more considerate and honest.

    Now, he started acting sketchy again :/. Then I found out again that he was hanging around the ex again. He again started giving me excuses about how he's busy and I replied "Lol". This was last night.

    What do I do? I'm thinking of a few options
    1) confront him again and let him know we should stop seeing each other so he can figure out his butter
    2) stop answering

    Advice gems? Especially those with a moon in Taurus
  • Im a Scorpio rising and sun in Virgo. I wouldn't describe myself as creepy though. Apparently we have a loud presence and we're pretty intense. I can say personally I can see people strenghths, weaknesses, and motivations. I can destroy people with my words alone. Or I can heal. People who know me know not to get on my bad side.
  • Posted by scorpioruby
    Posted by TurquoiseArrow
    Posted by Damnata
    Posted by scorpioruby
    Thank you Damnata and Astrofan for your opinions.
    I myself also think that at this point, he's not into me yet. He used to say publicly that women are troublesome but he didn't push me away so to me it's a good sign. He once told me about his past relationship in which it took him 1 year to make up his mind and confessed to the girl he loved. But unfortunately that girl ended up cheating on him. So it's hard for him to open his heart now. He also claimed that he doesn't like to play around and at his age now (36yrs), he want to wait for a person who can be his true love.
    Considering the fact that we just know each other for nearly 6 months and I'm much younger than him, should I wait for him a little more while try to prove him that my feeling for him is real?



    Look, I'm the last person to tell you to not go for something because my chart is heavy fire/water and cardinal driven. But if you go for it, you have to bear the odds in mind. And with someone who is 36 and has a "waiting" approach to their love life...I don't know, I don't see that as something I would pour myself in. Seems like a pedestal is erected straight off the bat and if you run into a Virgo who has very specific ideas of what they want...if you don't measure up it will leave you feeling worthless.

    At any rate, go for what gives you peace of mind. See if there is any reciprocity there.


    I think she should set a time frame based on when to give up. After the time period is up, then move on?


    Uhm I set up a time limit for myself already and it would be 6 months later (because he said it took him 1 year to confess in his latest rls). During this time, I will try to show him all I have for him. When the time is up, if he still doesn't make it clear, I will confess to him to get the final answer. Whatever the outcome, I just want to tell him my feelings at least once smile

    click to expand

    6 months is great for a virgo! By the end you should really know! Don't confess your feelings! If it were me, that would scare me off. To me, it feels like you're trying to invade my space. He already knows. Just be consistent and persistent. You have to let him know that this is what he wants. With mutable signs, you have to tell them what they want.
  • Posted by scorpioruby
    Thank you Damnata and Astrofan for your opinions.
    I myself also think that at this point, he's not into me yet. He used to say publicly that women are troublesome but he didn't push me away so to me it's a good sign. He once told me about his past relationship in which it took him 1 year to make up his mind and confessed to the girl he loved. But unfortunately that girl ended up cheating on him. So it's hard for him to open his heart now. He also claimed that he doesn't like to play around and at his age now (36yrs), he want to wait for a person who can be his true love.
    Considering the fact that we just know each other for nearly 6 months and I'm much younger than him, should I wait for him a little more while try to prove him that my feeling for him is real?



    It depends on how worth it this is. If you really feel like this is it for you. Yes, wait it out, and put lots of effort. Guaranteed, you'll get him.
  • Posted by Damnata
    Posted by Astrofan


    I jeopardize possible relationships all the time with statements like that.


    Did you ever say "he is like a little brother to me" about a man you were into romantically?

    If yes, do you think he should have still pursued you?
    click to expand


    It's not really cut and dry like that.

    But to answer your question, yes I have. I've said specifically about one person, "he's like a brother to me".

    I wasn't necessarily romantically into him. but at the time, he had a chance, I just didn't want to cross those boundaries but he was persistent and consistent and we fell for each other hard. He took the lead.
  • Posted by Damnata
    Posted by scorpioruby
    He told her he knows I like him for a long time..[...]he wants to consider me as his little sister.


    Abandon all hope ye who enter.

    By that I mean, walk away.

    From experience with Virgo men, they go after who they want and they wouldn't risk it with comments like "little sister", especially with third parties...knowing it will reach your ears. He might go along for the ride if you pursue him but he has an easy out of it "what, you knew we were work colleagues and it's against policy" "what, you knew I looked at you like a sister".
    click to expand


    Hmm as a Virgo, I have to disagree with this :/. Yes, we're hard on boundaries and
    and play safe but remember, we're also mutable which means we can be pulled in different directions. Not easily though.

    I jeopardize possible relationships all the time with statements like that. We don't play hard to get, we are hard to get. We very rarely show our cards or even play the game at all. How do we even get into relationships? It's a mystery to me. We just mutate until we find something good. Then we're all about it!

    As for going along with the ride, we only do that if we either
    1) don't care but you're super pushy

    Or

    2) we don't respect you and/or your values so we see no future but we enjoy your company
  • Posted by scorpioruby
    Posted by Astrofan
    Hmm, I don't know about male virgos. But when I act that way, it's because there's a chance that I'm considering it but don't want to because I'm afraid of consequences that may come out of the age difference but I'd still be open to it if they pursued me.

    So with this one, I'd say don't push it or confront it head on. Let your feelings be known and be consistent even when he gets awkward. Virgos love consistency! Only when he openly pushes you away and gets dry then you know he's not interested.


    Thanks Astrofan for your sharing.I want to confront him but I still need to get over my fear, so maybe not now. As a Scorpio, I believe that I'm patient enough so I will wait for him to make clear of his feelings for a little more. But about the consistency you mention, should I continue to show my caring for him? Does Virgo like to be taken care or they will feel irritated instead?
    click to expand


    Yes I'd say still show that you care. Consistency is key ??. Also we don't really like being taken care of. It's almost like an insult to our independence for me anyways. We just like to be shown that you care. If he openly disrespects you then he doesn't care/ he's not interested.