Posted by AxellePosted by blackphvsePosted by AxellePosted by blackphvsePosted by AxellePosted by ArinoaquaPosted by AxellePosted by Arinoaqua
I don’t think you can. I went on a few dates with a Scorpio in High School and I thought he wasn’t that interested in me so I went on with my life. Anyway, years and years later we reconnected and he said I am the reason he is insecure with women...because I rejected him in High School.
We tried to date again in our 20s but he still didn’t trust me. He played games so I walked away again.
It's almost the same, accept that I didn't reject him
And he's not playing games now because he explained in his apology that it felt like it was going to prison and to appreciate everything that he has so I think I'm the problem?
How are you the problem? I don’t know the backstory but you referred to him as liar and cheater...and he never took the initiative to apologize. He only did so after you initiated contact.
We were never together, but it was a joke from his side that he takes all responsibility for what happened. He mainly just pushed me away over the years, but it's way too much to go in details
I'm not sure why I'm the problem, takes two to tango
What?? I'm super confused. How did you feel betrayed if you weren't even together? And what is he asking for forgiveness for? The way you wrote the OP sounded like you were definitely together. And you just said you don't trust him, so what are you trying to do?? Why do you want anything with him if you can't trust him? That's just a recipe for disaster. You gonna get burned, don't say I didn't warn ya..
No, he is a lover from a long time ago I met during a summer holiday abroad and we've been talking on off over the years. One disaster happened and he pushed everyone away incl his friends and family
The cheating etc was said in a jokingly manner that's why I added the guillotine joke...
I now understand why everyone reacts this way, but he didn't like really cheat or lie... I felt betrayed as a friend, because when that one disaster happened I talked to him in everyone's best interest. His friends, his family and him, but he couldn't see he was wrong and said that he never wanted to talk to me
So that's why he apologized.
Now he made amends by reaching out to me through his friends
We were never together, just for the two summers when I visited him and then I met someone in my country and we lost touch for a bit. He thought I didn't care, because I didn't come back to visit him because I met someone (and it was hard for him to visit me due to visa restrictions and him just being lazy)
He said he needs to change and move his ass, but it won't happen in blip he said
I know it's confusing and I sounded messy, but it's really not as bad as you're all thinking actually, just bad wordplay
Ohhh, okay. That makes a lot more sense now. Thanks for clearing that up.
May I ask why you don't trust him? If you know the reason why he pushed you away, and it wasn't only you, have you not forgiven him?
If you want to rebuild trust with a Scorpio you have to be transparent and speak from the heart. You should explain to him how you felt hurt and betrayed by what he did so that he understands how that effected you. An open heartfelt conversation could clear a lot up for both of you.
I made a timeline about what happened over the years on last page of thread
I felt hurt and betrayed about an incident where he put me in a position that I kind of needed to take sides, and that he said he never wanted to talk to me anymore, even when I was always "there" for him
But also that when we're talking he didn't tell me had a GF, while I did tell him what was going on in my life (also explained in timeline)
It's mostly we talked about that he would come here and then he didn't because of several issues (money, life etc)
Yes he came back last year with his apology. And then we talked about it for hours and hes working on himself right now
I think my heart and trust will rest more if I see him here and not in his country, but that can take a while
He did ask me to come visit him (several times actually) and that I was too stubborn not to come, but understood why
Eventho he really wants to come, he said that he loves his family (he's a real family man and lovea his mom to bits) and may not like a periodic life. (Like a life outside his country)
We also talked for few hours on Valentine's day, but I'm not sure if it means anything
Years before we had partners we talked a bit different than this
I think life made him insecure, he said he never felt glorious, even when he has like an amazing family, group of friends, top of his class... . He had many opportunities/offers for job and PhD to be abroad but didn't take it. His excuse was laziness, but I wonder if that is really the case
Do you think I should go see him after covid?
Personally I think he should come to me if he gets finances in order, it's his turn now. But life goes by, we're getting older, circle is getting smaller... he finds less reasons to go abroad due being wanting to be with family, and his friends who studied abroad are now coming back homeclick to expand
Posted by blackphvsePosted by AxellePosted by blackphvsePosted by AxellePosted by ArinoaquaPosted by AxellePosted by Arinoaqua
I don’t think you can. I went on a few dates with a Scorpio in High School and I thought he wasn’t that interested in me so I went on with my life. Anyway, years and years later we reconnected and he said I am the reason he is insecure with women...because I rejected him in High School.
We tried to date again in our 20s but he still didn’t trust me. He played games so I walked away again.
It's almost the same, accept that I didn't reject him
And he's not playing games now because he explained in his apology that it felt like it was going to prison and to appreciate everything that he has so I think I'm the problem?
How are you the problem? I don’t know the backstory but you referred to him as liar and cheater...and he never took the initiative to apologize. He only did so after you initiated contact.
We were never together, but it was a joke from his side that he takes all responsibility for what happened. He mainly just pushed me away over the years, but it's way too much to go in details
I'm not sure why I'm the problem, takes two to tango
What?? I'm super confused. How did you feel betrayed if you weren't even together? And what is he asking for forgiveness for? The way you wrote the OP sounded like you were definitely together. And you just said you don't trust him, so what are you trying to do?? Why do you want anything with him if you can't trust him? That's just a recipe for disaster. You gonna get burned, don't say I didn't warn ya..
No, he is a lover from a long time ago I met during a summer holiday abroad and we've been talking on off over the years. One disaster happened and he pushed everyone away incl his friends and family
The cheating etc was said in a jokingly manner that's why I added the guillotine joke...
I now understand why everyone reacts this way, but he didn't like really cheat or lie... I felt betrayed as a friend, because when that one disaster happened I talked to him in everyone's best interest. His friends, his family and him, but he couldn't see he was wrong and said that he never wanted to talk to me
So that's why he apologized.
Now he made amends by reaching out to me through his friends
We were never together, just for the two summers when I visited him and then I met someone in my country and we lost touch for a bit. He thought I didn't care, because I didn't come back to visit him because I met someone (and it was hard for him to visit me due to visa restrictions and him just being lazy)
He said he needs to change and move his ass, but it won't happen in blip he said
I know it's confusing and I sounded messy, but it's really not as bad as you're all thinking actually, just bad wordplay
Ohhh, okay. That makes a lot more sense now. Thanks for clearing that up.
May I ask why you don't trust him? If you know the reason why he pushed you away, and it wasn't only you, have you not forgiven him?
If you want to rebuild trust with a Scorpio you have to be transparent and speak from the heart. You should explain to him how you felt hurt and betrayed by what he did so that he understands how that effected you. An open heartfelt conversation could clear a lot up for both of you.click to expand
Posted by MeFirst_Always
Before I go ahead and talk about this with sun signs, what sign are you dear?
Posted by ChessmessPosted by Axelle
Hi all, I'm back
My first and also last topic was about a Scorpio guy who I felt betrayed by.
And I was right, he asked his friend to check up on me, and in the year we didn't talk he tried to find the courage many times to apologize to ask for forgiveness but thought why should he bother, because I didn't trust him anyway
And rightly so!!! He admitted he was a traitor, liar, cheater and should be hanged on a guillotine! Lol
We did have some conversations, but somehow he still feels I don't trust him
Maybe I'm doing something wrong?
What can I or cannot ask?
Help... I really want it to be like when we first met. Any tips? I really feel he's the one!
Hanged on a guillotine? That doesn’t sound right. No one was hanged on the guillotine during the French Revolution. Their heads were chopped off.click to expand
Posted by ELIGABPosted by AxellePosted by blackphvsePosted by AxellePosted by ArinoaquaPosted by AxellePosted by Arinoaqua
I don’t think you can. I went on a few dates with a Scorpio in High School and I thought he wasn’t that interested in me so I went on with my life. Anyway, years and years later we reconnected and he said I am the reason he is insecure with women...because I rejected him in High School.
We tried to date again in our 20s but he still didn’t trust me. He played games so I walked away again.
It's almost the same, accept that I didn't reject him
And he's not playing games now because he explained in his apology that it felt like it was going to prison and to appreciate everything that he has so I think I'm the problem?
How are you the problem? I don’t know the backstory but you referred to him as liar and cheater...and he never took the initiative to apologize. He only did so after you initiated contact.
We were never together, but it was a joke from his side that he takes all responsibility for what happened. He mainly just pushed me away over the years, but it's way too much to go in details
I'm not sure why I'm the problem, takes two to tango
What?? I'm super confused. How did you feel betrayed if you weren't even together? And what is he asking for forgiveness for? The way you wrote the OP sounded like you were definitely together. And you just said you don't trust him, so what are you trying to do?? Why do you want anything with him if you can't trust him? That's just a recipe for disaster. You gonna get burned, don't say I didn't warn ya..
No, he is a lover from a long time ago I met during a summer holiday abroad and we've been talking on off over the years. One disaster happened and he pushed everyone away incl his friends and family
The cheating etc was said in a jokingly manner that's why I added the guillotine joke...
I now understand why everyone reacts this way, but he didn't like really cheat or lie... I felt betrayed as a friend, because when that one disaster happened I talked to him in everyone's best interest. His friends, his family and him, but he couldn't see he was wrong and said that he never wanted to talk to me
So that's why he apologized.
Now he made amends by reaching out to me through his friends
We were never together, just for the two summers when I visited him and then I met someone in my country and we lost touch for a bit. He thought I didn't care, because I didn't come back to visit him because I met someone (and it was hard for him to visit me due to visa restrictions and him just being lazy)
He said he needs to change and move his ass, but it won't happen in blip he said
I know it's confusing and I sounded messy, but it's really not as bad as you're all thinking actually, just bad wordplay
What's your mercury and moon?click to expand
Posted by blackphvsePosted by AxellePosted by ArinoaquaPosted by AxellePosted by Arinoaqua
I don’t think you can. I went on a few dates with a Scorpio in High School and I thought he wasn’t that interested in me so I went on with my life. Anyway, years and years later we reconnected and he said I am the reason he is insecure with women...because I rejected him in High School.
We tried to date again in our 20s but he still didn’t trust me. He played games so I walked away again.
It's almost the same, accept that I didn't reject him
And he's not playing games now because he explained in his apology that it felt like it was going to prison and to appreciate everything that he has so I think I'm the problem?
How are you the problem? I don’t know the backstory but you referred to him as liar and cheater...and he never took the initiative to apologize. He only did so after you initiated contact.
We were never together, but it was a joke from his side that he takes all responsibility for what happened. He mainly just pushed me away over the years, but it's way too much to go in details
I'm not sure why I'm the problem, takes two to tango
What?? I'm super confused. How did you feel betrayed if you weren't even together? And what is he asking for forgiveness for? The way you wrote the OP sounded like you were definitely together. And you just said you don't trust him, so what are you trying to do?? Why do you want anything with him if you can't trust him? That's just a recipe for disaster. You gonna get burned, don't say I didn't warn ya..click to expand
Posted by MeFirst_Always
Key points that I understood:
Pushed you away
Then after finding some semblance of stability came back in contact
Apologized for his past mistakes
Waiting to be to be trusted/accepted
Long Distance relationship
What I got to say since I was in one:
I'm not going to answer it based on sun signs, because life plays a role before anything else. He was financially not sound - he could've kept you hanging but didn't, he let you go. He got it sorted and then when you reached out he took the lifeline. Even went the extra mile and apologized! Now is waiting it out to be trusted.
Initially when I read the OP I was agreeing with posts that made sense that were trying to warn you off of him. But now that you've given the perspective of LDR I'm reconsidering my stance.
Posted by PiscivorePosted by AxellePosted by DMV
Leave this alone.
How it starts is how it will end.
Foundation is dusty af
He probably can’t wrap his mind around why you are even giving him the space to talk to you. It’s probably mind boggling to him because he wouldn’t do the same if he were in your shoes. He probably thinks your desperate but why for him?
I'm not desperate, im fine on my own. I did try to date someone, he was really great but it wasn't him
We used to talk endlessly but life happened and here we are. I just want to be how we were before we separated our ways
A lot of good advice already given but I'm just going to blurt it out: you are so treetrunking deluded.
If you do decide to go back to him, I hope he royally screws you over. It's brainwashed simpletons like you who need to learn harsh life lessons.
What, so relationships are like Word documents now? Just click Undo and everything is fine once more? Seriously?
~smh~click to expand
Posted by saggurl88Posted by AxellePosted by saggurl88Posted by AxellePosted by saggurl88Posted by Axelle
Hi all, I'm back
My first and also last topic was about a Scorpio guy who I felt betrayed by.
And I was right, he asked his friend to check up on me, and in the year we didn't talk he tried to find the courage many times to apologize to ask for forgiveness but thought why should he bother, because I didn't trust him anyway
And rightly so!!! He admitted he was a traitor, liar, cheater and should be hanged on a guillotine! Lol
We did have some conversations, but somehow he still feels I don't trust him
Maybe I'm doing something wrong?
What can I or cannot ask?
Help... I really want it to be like when we first met. Any tips? I really feel he's the one!
Why do you need to trust him?
"He admitted he was a traitor, liar, cheater and should be hanged on a guillotine"
You can ask him whatever you want, he's trying to get back into your good graces. Scorpios respect honesty and direct talking.
The question is how can it go back to what it was before, if he cheated and lied. Why are you willing to accept this behavior?
I can admit, if it was a long marriage, I can see why you would want it to work, for other reasons, but just a relationship?
Are you really willing to lower yourself into accepting whatever excuse he is gonna give for why this happened?
The lying and cheating was a jooooke. He said that to take full responsibility for where we at now, but I didn't explain it well in first post
This is more about establish trust as friends first
We had that when we first met, where we talked about everything and now he feels I don't give off the same energy. And I think its due the unspoken words I still have
Again, he didn't cheat, we were never really together. Its more about a family/friends business situation, but all drama was too much to tell so I left that out for effiency purposes
Just wanted to get my point across to simple ask how get back to basics
Oh wow lol That changes a lot as far as whatever responses you were hoping to get.
Trust is something that both of you should be building with each other. I didn't know Scorpios waited years to pursue someone, I thought they were quicker then that.
Guess you should be thinking about if what he has to offer, is something you will be able to live with and build from in a couple relationship.
Helping a man get on his feet is never a good thing, for a woman, in my opinion. Usually a women build them up and they leave her for someone else that doesn't know of their low points, when they are starting at a low level in finances. It's almost emasculating for the man, and can be a constant reminder of who got him in a better place financially. Some men don't handle this well.
Yeah sorry its just so many years have gone by and it would be a book to explain everything.
We were lovers (not a couple), and now friends, but before life took a turn we talked about how after uni it would be different because he sees that future, but stuff happened and he's not in the position he likes to be now
Life controls him, and not otherway around
He did say in the past he likes to do everything alone, so that can take years !!(this is probably bwhy I don't trust the situation)
I'm not sure what answers I was hoping to get because I explain very very badly hahha
But I truly think I'm taking a small part in this too, not only him
What would be your verdict? Wait it out? Or tell him something is bothering me or really trying to leave it for good? The latter is gonna be very hard
I'm fine with what he has to offer, but he's not fine with what he has to offer . Ego thing
You should talk to him, it's hard to say without knowing all the details. He seems uninterested in a relationship. Anyone saying "it's not the right time" is a person saying that you aren't the right one for them.
If a person wanted to be in a relationship, they would be more worried about losing the person, but that is just my opinion.
Timing being off can be an excuse to back burner you.
Can you be direct and just ask?click to expand
Posted by Axelle
In the past I felt I was the only one being in diplomatic position while he gets emotional and pushes me away. He grew out of it now
But I feel I need to share my unspoken words to move on to better version of us as friends first. When he apologized he said I could ask him anything and he would explain. We talked a lot, so much that I didn't get to ask all of what I wanted after few days of rethinking the conversation
I thought I would get passed it by not sharing/asking unspoken words, but months have gone by, he can feel my weird energy (even by text), so we talk less
But I can't just drop like: "hey remember that apology, let's rehash that 😑"
Posted by saggurl88Posted by AxellePosted by saggurl88Posted by Axelle
Hi all, I'm back
My first and also last topic was about a Scorpio guy who I felt betrayed by.
And I was right, he asked his friend to check up on me, and in the year we didn't talk he tried to find the courage many times to apologize to ask for forgiveness but thought why should he bother, because I didn't trust him anyway
And rightly so!!! He admitted he was a traitor, liar, cheater and should be hanged on a guillotine! Lol
We did have some conversations, but somehow he still feels I don't trust him
Maybe I'm doing something wrong?
What can I or cannot ask?
Help... I really want it to be like when we first met. Any tips? I really feel he's the one!
Why do you need to trust him?
"He admitted he was a traitor, liar, cheater and should be hanged on a guillotine"
You can ask him whatever you want, he's trying to get back into your good graces. Scorpios respect honesty and direct talking.
The question is how can it go back to what it was before, if he cheated and lied. Why are you willing to accept this behavior?
I can admit, if it was a long marriage, I can see why you would want it to work, for other reasons, but just a relationship?
Are you really willing to lower yourself into accepting whatever excuse he is gonna give for why this happened?
The lying and cheating was a jooooke. He said that to take full responsibility for where we at now, but I didn't explain it well in first post
This is more about establish trust as friends first
We had that when we first met, where we talked about everything and now he feels I don't give off the same energy. And I think its due the unspoken words I still have
Again, he didn't cheat, we were never really together. Its more about a family/friends business situation, but all drama was too much to tell so I left that out for effiency purposes
Just wanted to get my point across to simple ask how get back to basics
Oh wow lol That changes a lot as far as whatever responses you were hoping to get.
Trust is something that both of you should be building with each other. I didn't know Scorpios waited years to pursue someone, I thought they were quicker then that.
Guess you should be thinking about if what he has to offer, is something you will be able to live with and build from in a couple relationship.
Helping a man get on his feet is never a good thing, for a woman, in my opinion. Usually a women build them up and they leave her for someone else that doesn't know of their low points, when they are starting at a low level in finances. It's almost emasculating for the man, and can be a constant reminder of who got him in a better place financially. Some men don't handle this well.click to expand
Posted by saggurl88Posted by Axelle
Hi all, I'm back
My first and also last topic was about a Scorpio guy who I felt betrayed by.
And I was right, he asked his friend to check up on me, and in the year we didn't talk he tried to find the courage many times to apologize to ask for forgiveness but thought why should he bother, because I didn't trust him anyway
And rightly so!!! He admitted he was a traitor, liar, cheater and should be hanged on a guillotine! Lol
We did have some conversations, but somehow he still feels I don't trust him
Maybe I'm doing something wrong?
What can I or cannot ask?
Help... I really want it to be like when we first met. Any tips? I really feel he's the one!
Why do you need to trust him?
"He admitted he was a traitor, liar, cheater and should be hanged on a guillotine"
You can ask him whatever you want, he's trying to get back into your good graces. Scorpios respect honesty and direct talking.
The question is how can it go back to what it was before, if he cheated and lied. Why are you willing to accept this behavior?
I can admit, if it was a long marriage, I can see why you would want it to work, for other reasons, but just a relationship?
Are you really willing to lower yourself into accepting whatever excuse he is gonna give for why this happened?click to expand
Posted by PhoenixRisingPosted by Axelle
Help... I really want it to be like when we first met. Any tips?...
Letting go of this notion would be a start.
Can't unring a bell and he knows this. If there are things still festering in your mind, ask, address it and if it has been addressed to your satisfaction move on from it. Truly move on. That is and the only point of addressing an issue anyway. Otherwise you're just trying to passively hold something over someone's head. If you can do that and he can see that you can do that, and he is honest about his intentions to be with you, then you can probably move forward. Not like it was when you first met. Better than, because you have been able to deal with and move through the problem(s) you had.
I find it curious that "he messed up" but you're the one worried about building trust again. The playing field is uneven. Just sayin'.click to expand
Posted by Plague
He just wants you to crawl under his thumb so he can go "Aha gotcha"
"Atm he can't give me what I deserve"
What's that?