Posted by NMNR Don't feed the behavior. If you want somethindmg serious, don't put out. We Cancers can be manipulative, and we can read people so well. If he can get you when he wants you, there's so little to chase after. I'm sorry for being so blunt. But that's the other side of us that is kinda true. Don't be so available, that gets to our heads.
Actually I told him I’m leaving my city at the end of this month and he asked where am I going so I said most likely back home. And I don’t know what damn fate it is but, I’ve just got a job offer in the city he lives in. I’m deliberating to tell him or not. Maybe I shouldn’t worry about him being upset if I don’t hit him up when I move there or think that I’m trying to move out there to be closer to him which is not it. But, I guess i shouldn’t even give a treetrunk about whatever he thinks. I’m pretty tired of these dumb games he’s playing. It’s been over a year we knew each other and we always act like brand new and butter whenever we see each other.
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Games are for losers. I wouldn't even deal with him if i were you.
My most recent mentor and business partner is Indian. Not Native American, Indian. Just clarifying for the US folks (lol). He is a Libra.
We were on assignment together and he was forced to resign.
It was blatant racism. Subtle but swift. I seen it. Recognized it months back. He seemed oblivious. I knew he wasnt...I just knew he doesnt even think about things that way.
Is he dumb? Nope. One of the most intelligent men (and wealthiest) I have ever met.
He has been in the US since he was a child. His wife is from Mexico.
He didnt see the racism at all. I didn't bring it to his attention....I will tell you why in a second.
I was furious. The CEO is also a misogynist, but that's for another day.
I went for advice from my SO...he is African. Been in the states for 20 years. He us a Cap. When I need to talk about racism, I go to him. Regardless of being here for so long, he still doesnt see it. Or he does, he just chooses to not give it power.
Anyway...the Cap explained to me it wasnt racism. It was the fact the Libra was intimidating.
The Libra was smarter and wealthier and they felt threatened. They were humiliated and felt less than...that's why they did what they did.
Different perspective. Still racism (not according to Cap...but yeah) However, explained beyond racism. It is easier to say racism. It's harder when you have been conditioned to just label it....than to define exactly what happened.
Racist systems are in place to make people feel less then.
....by people who feel less than by people of various colour.
A whole lot of projection.
The most relevant point of your story is an old adage that I am partial to: "As a PoC you may not believe in racism, but racism absolutely believes in you"
Its definitely easier to say everything is racism. I have lengthy discussions about what does and does not constitute it with friends when they overreach.
That racism exists is not, in fact, an unlimited blank check...but while it is not a blank check it does, unfortunately, tie into many arenas that are seemingly not about race...employment and the demographics of leadership in multicultural nations for instance.
Her point stands. The way you think matters. Black Americans allow racism to hold them back.
My father is allergic to anything racism talk. He thinks we're mentally deranged when we bring it up.
Because he understands if you let it color your thinking your lost in the sauce
Africans understand and see racism but they don't want it to taint their life experience or give it power
Despite that opinion the fact is that beliefs about racism are not what make racist systems work or not work. Black Americans do not 'allow' racism to hold them back you are feeding into a racist narrative right there to believe so.
Racism is an active operational system an indidivual acceptance or disavowal of its existence is irrelevant.