Wow .. I am overwhelmed by all the posts but I guess it is very good to hear the discussion from both sides. Well, I will try to clear things out and I donno share few things :
1. He is single, not cheating or seeing another girl. I know it is his mom because he mentioned he just will be around his mom and I couldn't talk to him during those times. He just said that! 2. YES, I was totally alarmed by that so I asked here because we were together for 6 weeks now and it was going great. The thing is I was holding it to be official because I didn't want to take it fast but he knows I will be there and he knows i care for him a lot. Also : I am not a "calling nor texting" person and I find it weird because I rarely text him or call him more like once per day and suddenly he prefer if I don't do that. 3. Um, I noticed he is having a rough time because I can see he looks awful honestly. I don't know what he wanted to say to me yesterday when he showed up basically because I was startled BIG time and I couldn't turn and face or I would cry! If I am not ready or informed, I can go so emotional ISFP here and i know he was waiting for me to turn because in less than 15 minutes, he just was gone .. I spied to see if he is there and I found my neighbour door closed shut. 4. About his mom, I never met but I think she have an idea of whom she wants him to marry, one of his sister's friends ! She is one of those ladies who cling to their sons and not leave them easily and make a matches in her head.
Sometimes I don't know what bother me most : the message or the way it was delivered. He basically told me I want to ask you something but promise me you will never be upset by it. I said ok but he insisted on me not being upset by it and I end up laughing and promising him to hear this weird request. I don't know how he thought I will understand. Now I said two weeks But actually it is 8 days, started from last Sunday, so I was acting cool until Mon and then I cut him off up to now. It is not that I am upset, it is exactly what busyeyes thought : I can't believe he asked me that and I couldn't take it.
I honestly think I should take this matter off my head and just move on but as a Scorpio I thought he is strange. I've been with a Scorpio man before and he was totally different. This guy doesn't want to lose me, he actually think he is blessed he is with me but he act as if he have no luck with me too. Something is off in him and I can't figure why.
I forgot to mention he is supporting his mother and spends remarkable time with her. They have a very strong bond and she loves him endlessly! So I think he fear I call him when he pass by her house or with her or around any of his family that is connected to her but really? :/ Friends and family has been giving me different advices and I can't figure it out ... I mean I could, I couldn't accept it. That's how I decided .
I met this guy who's sun Scorpio, moon sag, mercury scorpio, venus libra, mars in Sag .. the rest of his planets are libra/sag too .. The question is this Scorpio guy decided to do something I found humiliating to me and now I am confused. Well two weeks now, he will ask me not to talk to him when we are not together. He will call me when he will and other than that I shouldn't contact him unless he is at work hours! So outside work hours, I should wait for him to call me and i found it very alarming.
So why? He seems to be loving me deeply but I came to know his mother disapproved me totally? I never really met her but saw her briefly and said hi to her once. So at first I thought ok, w/e but then I do have feelings for the guy and if I will accept this, things are never going to be seirous so I started ignoring him ...
The thing is he started to text me daily and leave me voice mails which he doesn't usually care to do as for him, seeing me and spending time with me is most important and he is not a texting guy. Still, I am not replaying or answering any. I am not going to be the side girl who he keep as he wish or he can play with a word. So I can sense he is sencere about me but I can't figure it out how to make him regret doing it.. He showed up yesterday at my apartment door; he is friend with my neighbour and I know it was not a complete accident but he just made it btw kind of thing and I was out so I just saw them repairing the neighbour door "though both of them are not mechanically skilled" so I figured out it is a play or made up cause. He just said Hi and I said hi .. and then went inside.
I don't know what he is waiting for? Why is he calculating every step? He says in the voicemail / texts he leave I have all the rights to be mad at him but he wish I will hear him but until now he is not even trying it out. I saw in the corner of my eye his face trying to say something but I never even eyed the guy so am I being so cold and not giving him a chance ? Or should I just wait until he will come and say it: I want to talk to you so we can figure it out ?
Rocky .. honestly you are true. They are unable to deal with something as: we are human, we do mistakes, we are born imperfect and our life aim is not perfection because you can't master everything and this approach of life sounds so wrong to me. No wonder he would snap telling me hurtful things because for me it is: embrace your imperfections because that is your uniqueness. And if you have flaws, look for them and try to improve them! If you love them, then enjoy your life with them! No one has to say this is right or wrong!
I have a taurus moon so I don't like anyone to get in my business and I do fluctuate in weight .. he is lucky he didn't meet me chubbier .. I would gave him a stroke by how happy I can be even with extra fat. For me weight is important but what matters is: do I eat healthy? do I feel healthy? can I pull myself to be beautiful every day? I am ok with any body I have. Weight has been an issue for me earlier in my teen and I was anorexic in mind. Now, I turned to an emotional eater so I am fighting that. I would either not eat anything or eat everything when I am very upset which is horrible.
And for him, he tried to "fix my belly problem"! F* him! Actually the more I think of him and his attitude, I am sorry I saw good things in him. He lost a very valuable friend in me because I truly cared for him and I didn't mind how he looked, or how different we were. I was accepting him in all his package because to me if you love someone regardless who they are friends, family or a partner: you only can enjoy them the most if you learnt to live with them with all their odds and difference they bring to your life. I believe they enrich our life with the challenge this kind of connection brings. After all, I can't say I love someone if I can't accept all the package he/she has or at least can live with it and fight over it even!
My aim in relationships is much deeper than his. His is finding a friend to absorb care, love and attention from. Enjoy as much he need and have no obligation to. He would also have a bonus if he could "manipulate" my brain to lose weight, look the way he wanted! I feel I was like a project for him and he was enjoying sculpturing me the way he wants or enjoying the "free items" I came for with no intention to invest really in it or give back
Rocky .. yes he have no shame to still hold on to keeping everything! And I am sure he assume that I will come to him asking for his forgiveness and to be friends again. I know I annoyed him the most when I broke the friendship when it was not working in my terms. He just was so happy with what he gets from me and now he is not happy with how I'd like things to work a bit for myself too.
From this experience: I find that Libra men are people with a mindset saying "ALL ME" .. I am sorry if there is any decent libra man hearing this but the one I friended was just "over the edge" .. So full of himself, so immature, and so in the negatives. He never saw himself but a victim of everything, as long as I know: Libra is a walking GOD or what I call is always playing in a "god mode" and i should be thankful and appreciative that he is there to "save" or "be around me"? I donno but Libra is full of themselves to a point that is sickening when they actually need to look at how stuck they are in their " I donno how you can call this perfect " life .. everything is (because of others) or (out of their hands) or (because they care for it) or (they want to be fair) when in real they just wouldn't hold responsibilities for any decisions unless it is forced? They won't even make any for themselves but they don't hesitate making them for you or pointing them at you!
And they fake they care for you ... if you required care to give care. They will just give you the minimal requirement in order for you to function well with one perpose: to please them! And if you failed that or if they found out that you require more than they are welling to accept giving you, they just go weird, ignorant, and cold.
One of the things I most hated about this guy is that I am normal wait but having a baby belly .. not a flat belly, a normal body? And he would always recommend certain exercises or encourage me to lose weight or eat healthier when he doesn't even cared to ask if I do anything? That is one of the main reasons I ever felt off about him because in our second hangouts as a group almost 2 years ago. He actually told me I should try Zomba or some belly movements to lose that belly weight! I felt that is so rude of him and I was a girl who is confident and just enjoying my time. I let him say w/e he said but I never asked his opinion nor it was a topic .. I am happy as I am ! I would like to do exercises when I choose to .. I don't like to be told what to do and he is so o
Well someone told me here that this guy was absorbing my energy, power, love and care ... I forgot the name but I know who and for him I say : YOU are fully right.
The libra guy tried to play me again but this time I was fully aware what to look for. So this guy is typically an immature Libra. He is so fake! I mean he would say loads of crap that sounds good to find out he is faking it all. It is fake to the level you feel sick of it. Gosh, I have no idea why out of my lovely friends, I decided to focus and get depressed by this guy who I never was close to before 7 months ago! I mean seriously he never was in the radar nor special or interesting to me. I remember thinking something is so OFF about him once I met him. Something was fake since then ..
Anyway .. I am trying hard to keep the no contact. I blocked him everywhere because the last conversation we had and the way he acted later on last week was disgusting. So I went up blocking him and deleting him from my phone/social network. I wish I never see him again because I am hurt as I truly cared for this person and I am learning to stop caring: I cared for a character of his not even himself! I am sure if I knew the real him, I would never liked him.
I just don't care who he is truly .. and just want him out of my life now. I am so thankful for everyone advised me here and for all the stories I heard and all the wake up calls! To deal with losing a friend that you now know he was not a friend and actually was lying on you all along is very hard. I try to swallow it but sometimes my heart goes in denial .. (not anymore) .. it is just so much to process and I truly would like not to see this guy at all.
He is a shame for humanity! I was nothing but a human who cared and wanted the best for him! Until the last moment, I told him that and I thought that but now I just wish he leaves me alone .. he vanish and just never exist anymore .. you know? I
Pink libra .. I do appreciate your input . Well as a cappy, I sit rules and I am very patient. I am a hard girl I guess .. just in the outside because I take time to warm up and be mushy! But once i am in the emotional stage it is crisis .. because I give my trust very slowly and once I do, it is hard for me to pull back.
I didn't confront him of his lie .. I just still don't know if I ever will. It is his personal lie and it just makes me not trusting anything I hear from him. I am actually a person who find it hard to give trust in the first place so it is even harder after it being broken. I know I will observe him very well .. usually it is very hard to lie to me and I am surprised he lied to me and got by with it. Everything else he said was real and true .. which makes me wonder why the lie?
But, I do believe if it is meant to be solved, it will be solved by itself. One day may be? I care for him and I know that he have a good heart but he is very confused about everything in his life. I know he is very sad and very tired and that makes me sad and I wish I can be by his side and brighten his world, but i can't. What I did is I chose to protect my feelings as I know my friend is incapable of that. He is incapable of saving himself how about me?
He has lots of issues in his life he fails to address! Libra are so unsure about everything! It surprise me when they become sure .. it is only if it is anger or injustice driven choices! They need others opinion and approval a lot, more than they admit it. They like to act cold and superior as if they are in control when they are actually very fragile and sensitive.
What I love about libra is they accept how annoying I can be. I could be very blunt and hurt his feelings "which are very sensitive" and he will stick to it. I think it is a sour truth! If anything I can be a sister to him .. a close friend just because I care for him a lot and I want him to feel better and I know he knows that very well, which is why he stick around observing me from far away.. but also his life call is not my life call and I have to let him be what he wants to be .. what feels right to him and that also he doesn't know of! I donno why but libra sound like a very sad sign sometimes .. or my version of happiness is different than their version of happiness ..
Yes I agree with Rocky .. because I am already over this libra man. Moving on doesn't mean I don't care and if I chose not to talk to him in the past because I know it will get me no where, it is wisdom not fear. I totally know him and I know he lies or deceive w/e you call it, to build a perfection image of himself, others, and the world. He colors the story? I donno it is just he tell it from different points of views, and give different versions of truth to a point it drives me nuts .. plus he do add spices ...
Libra can't handle mistakes very well nor their imperfections. If I talked to him it would be not about the past or what happened, it would be something casual, not related and totally random. Something not personal or emotional too. I prefer to keep this guy far away from my emotions.
I am different and I understand that. I can say I don't work well with a guy who will "flip" things around just to insure his image is perfect. It is how he run his world but it does confuse me. It doesn't make him bad, it just makes him who he is. For him things has to shine and be smooth and nice .. For me I have a blunt attitude about things and I would be clear cut sure of this or that. He would get surprised that I fear nothing but honestly I do fear lots of things, and I risk take life while making choices! I don't mind being wrong .. Libra on other hand, will stand in the middle, in fear of wrong.
And my story: he was a friend, we got closer and I developed emotions for him when I noticed he didn't or at least he was in the grey zone plus him being in the middle of his own pile of packages. I wanted a wake up shake the moment I came here and I got it. I tend to get emotional sometimes and trapped there.
It might sound harsh but honestly: unless I am emotionally in control, I won't allow myself to go around him. I can sense I am on the right steps as by time, my emotions are getting untangle but I won't run to tangle things again ... I am in no rush and i enjoy life as it is. As far as I remember, this life is about me and not about him in my life .. I just live by that, always did and it is not the time to change my motto .
Oh dear .. the last thing I want to do is to talk to him You think you want to put cards on the table .. but have you considered that their might be never cards or a table .. only the illusion of them? I deeply care for him and I love seeing him daily, I won't lie! It is the most confusing feeling but I tell myself: as much as it is hard, as much as it drives my anxiety high .. it is also teaching me to be emotionally strong .. to face things like him everyday!
I didn't see him since last Tuesday so I am feeling good too! I know I will see him and I know he will try to "spare me sometime" when he is free or just for a chat but honestly I am not a side dish ... and I don't want to add anyone to my life plate! I have amazing friends and family .. those I already live with and they share my life plate, and I have my interactions with them ..
With family, at least no matter how crazy it goes, I know deep down, they love me and they will be the first to be by my side if anything bad happened to me, each in their own way! But with him, I never know ... I never will know and most of all .. unless he be crystal clear, I don't want to know.
SO yea .. I sit rules, and I plan to stay by them ! It is hard, very hard sometimes but to know this is right and you do it for good reasons is better than the feeling of self doubt you get with this person around.
Delia I can give you these tools to use in your search: 1. try to go through your experience with him as an outsider .. see your part and his .. acknowledge your mistakes but also HIS! Of course we made something wrong once, raised my voice at a point or argued about tiny thing but honestly, if he is in to you, he won't hang on that thing or another to keep you away! If a man is in to you, he will even be sorry though he is fully right just to make sure he won't lose you! He will be as madly in love as you are!
I felt that once, with the most incredible person lived on earth, and I know what love is. I am blessed to say that actually. So I can tell you also what you are going through is not good for you.
Love should make you feel warm, safe, peaceful, and just happy. Everything else, life problems .. comes but you never worry about losing the person or getting dumbed by or cheated on! You can truly tell if he loves you .. because he will try to make you KNOW and notice he does. You don't have to remind him or ask him why he doesn't, he simply will .. all the time! At times, you will feel ashamed you take it for granted! And at times, you will be feeling blessed, amazingly blessed to have him.
The man you deserve is a man who loves you .. care for you and if he doesn't know you enough, he would be interested to know you .. to walk steps towards you! For me if a man is not interested to do that or he is playing shady, it says a lot! I was blind myself by this libra guy and at times I was stupid too to think I found a great guy ! He is great, don't get me wrong, he has lots of amazing and wonderful qualities but not in anyway as a lover to me! I even doubt as a friend too .. I am sure I can be his great friend, but he can't be my friend. He has no ability to be less selfish, less manipulative or less himself. And as himself, he can't be a good friend to me ...
So dear, I know emotions hurt, I know you care a lot, and love this guy may be ? But I think you think you love him and you think he is the one. May be it is a good time to find the one person but believe me, it doesn't worth it to be in rush! Your guy will come and he will be everything this guy is not. I understand that you think he is amazing .. but trust me memorising his features .. thinking of him .. is signs of lust not love. You are being emotional more than you need to be and I truly want you to make your choices based on what is good for you. Write to me in the PMs .. I will alwa
People are different, their emotions differ as well in intensity and in forms of expressions. I only can control my actions, and I can control how I react based on my emotions but I can never make his emotions or actions as I wish or as true I want them to be. I again didn't read through all your message because I know what you feel very well. It is very hard to let go and especially if you care and love the person but sometimes it is not because of them but because of you. May be you should ask yourself why him? is he better than anyone else? is the connection limited to him? there is many fish in the sea... truly there is! I know how it is to feel that you want certain person but ... you have to accept he doesn't want you, that way at least.
And for Libra ... they don't like fights nor breaking it with anyone .. they will always keep you an arm length. It is them, in their blood! For them enemies don't exist and they want to friend everyone! Libra men actually befriend their x-wives so .. that tells you! He keeps you because he want to make sure you don't hate him or he did good to you! It is about his ego too .. him self satisfaction. He needs to make sure everything he left or kept is in balance.
Dear .. Libra or not, if a man is in to a woman, he will make the first move. For me, it took him 5 times to catch my attention! He tried to start a conversation with me multiple times and I was not interested. I honestly could see his charm, his presence but I also was aware, that I am not interested in anything now. Something in his straight gazes, in his pure interest made me go in to my shell. So a sign is not always as it is written. It also depends on his other planets, and on his birth mother and environment. He might adapt to other actions, change or alter things based on him.
I understand you want to do all that, because you see hope in it and it is not my call to tell you: there is no hope. All I can say: sometimes when we are so close to someone, we fail to see the signs and the picture outlook. We are all obsessed with details and tiny frames but we are not seeing the picture in total. Try to think of your problem as if a friend is consulting you regarding a guy she met. Try to imagine the situation from far, with you as a observer not included in. Try to see his part and your part. This practice always come beneficial to me.
Don't get me wrong : I want to know why for a lot of things he said or done. I want to hear his side of story too, similar to you but I know it never will happen or if it happened, will I believe it? Do I trust him to tell me the truth and not manipulate me with another story? And will I get a closure or more details to obsess and wonder about? Will I be less or more confused? In my ideal time frame: I would want him to be honest and clear to me and I would love to know he cares for me too and he wish to be friends. I would want to believe he thinks of me, wish me good and just wish every day is a good day to me too, as I do to him! But it doesn't go like that.
CON: I am a strong gorgeous and a wonderful girl and I will just move on from this to a better relationship and better life choices ... I hope you will give up on your relationship too because that person sure was a player as well. He played you and that is not nice at all
Delia .. you have to try and be strong for yourself. Deleting all the messages, throwing all the photos and few items he gave me was hard and I had to do it twice before I finally do it. I was fighting myself to delete him off my life and at first, I would hold on for one day then will chicken out and would get the items back!
But what I did is I boxed them in a box for awhile, and when I felt it is time for me to move on, time for me to break free, I just cut him off. threw everything and deleted his number. I only have his email but also I never send him anything personal. last thing I send was in the middle of a group and a kind of inspirational movie .. I know it shows I care, but I used to do that all along and I think he needs a reminder to be good.
Good thing is he is "waiting" for me to run back to him or admit I am sorry for sitting my rules/standards but I am not. Actually I am great and much relaxed than the times we were friends and yes, seeing him daily last week was a disaster but I survived! At first it was very hard but by time, I could restore my confident and just be normal. Funny thing, the more I see him, the more I feel casual about it too. I don't feel hurt because I left and I gave him an option to be a friend on my rules but he didn't take it . I did what is best for me and that is a good call.
Well, I know he is waiting for a promotion in his company and with the libra I know, I am not aware what lies I got to hear. I only found out about one lie but I don't care. I don't want his friendship or at least I know it is not good for me. I am much real and more valued than he is and it is ok, he just doesn't fit me.
Still I know I care for him .. and I believe every now and then I will still include him in my mailing list of inspirational topics but not more. I honestly don't want him close because I know he effects me badly. It reached to a point where me or him is the choice, and sure I chose me!
What helped me is that I didn't hold on "our memories" and just got ride of them. Don't get me wrong, I miss him and I miss all the things I threw or erased but I knew keeping them won't help me so I had to do it. I ignore him because I don't want to talk to him and I still can't look him in the eye because processing emotions take time but that never means I will be weak to his presence .. or I will act none sense.
I am a strong gorgeous and a wonderful girl and I will just move on from this to a better relationship and be
Dalia .. I wrote my comment before I read the two other comments .. to reach the end of your story. If he comes in my life, he need to be divorced for the good and just serious .. admitting his lies. He have no idea I found out about his lies. He still believe I didn't because he have no idea how social I am or if I have a friend in the area he chose to tell a lie about. Basically, he told me a lie about a person who doesn't exist ... !
And I know Libra lie because they never say their true reasons. They find it easier to say "something totally wrong or made up" than to say something rude or hurtful. Libra only hurt you when they are hurt or moody : off balance. I have so many Libras in my life .. but anyway :
I believe you are so right. I know in my mind, what I need to do. I am very sad because last week my study leave got rejected by the administration so I am also going to "see" him more .. I am not leaving the work to study anymore ..
Anyway .. life sure have something better planned for me .. and I hope on other hand that he will get w/e he wants, he was waiting for a promotion which will transfer him to work in another country .. so may be he get that, and we never will meet again.
I don't stand by waiting for anything or hoping for anything .. I know I wish things and it hurts to see someone you love and act as they are totally strangers .. not related to you ... horrible! My best action was not being totally open to him .. I am glad I kept few things about me to me .. I just love my personal space and I love to be able to be mysterious .. It is part of my safety shell.
I can't thank you enough for sharing your heartbreaking story and for your advice. You are very right .. I will not do anything, and I will keep my guard up. I won't lie to you .. seeing that I didn't hear from him since 14 days now is very bad. But knowing I wrote to him the email .. I sit up a bridge to have some communication in a proper way, and knowing he won't cross it tells me he doesn't appreciate me or my friendship .. and he only wants me 24/7 and caring loving as I was. Absorbing my kindness and care without reflecting a thing.. truly I hope he is not that but I feel he is mostly like that, due to the way he acted until now ...
Con: I saw him couple of times again and the last time, I was able to look at him while he passed me but he was wearing shades , even though I didn't "look" .. it happened I was looking at his direction when he passed .
It is very hard to be facing him not once but every day and sometimes more than once .. we seem to be crossing paths in the elevators a lot! I wouldn't take the elevator when he is there ... I just don't want to because I know I have a soft spot for him : I truly care for him and love him
But I can't read him .. and i do think I can't because I keep wishing he cares ... though deep down I know he mostly don't, and if he did, it would be because he uses the attention, care and love I give him to fill holes in his life. So I get bad and good days and I wish I don't care or that I can stop caring, though I do and I know I will always do. I even pray for his happiness ! I donno how a man can get loved this much by me, knowing how much he doesn't care for me
But we know emotions don't go this way. So I control my actions and I tell myself it is ok to care for someone and wish them the best. To love them, miss them and pray for them but I have to also understand that it is ok to love someone and not have them in your life. Very hard lesson to learn.
You have no idea how many times I fought myself to text him, message him or call him during this week .. How many times I got the idea to check on him or to see how he is going but until now I try to deal with it, one by one and I am doing good ..
The things i have to understand and accept is that my emotions won't change just because he is not good or he is not worth it. I just realised I will always love and care for him .. no matter what ..! I truly have few people that I have this much love/care for and I know that he doesn't deserve it but I also know he is a good person inside, still he is a lost big time in life. I truly wish him all the best ...
Ironically, I keep seeing him at work, and it just happen to be much more! I even don't know why God keep him in my path .. may be I am tested? or I have a lesson to learn here, either I got weak or kept my strength? I think that's it. What happened is: I was helping my friend in another department with her project. She works in a different branch of the medical centre I work in; to find out, I will see him on daily basis !!
I sent him an email two week ago because I was not feeling comfortable with how things ended, I care for him deeply "I wish I can choose people I care about".. Generally, it was very formal but "nice" no aggressive tone and it says I can't be a friend with him in his terms. I have my own terms which I listed in the email and that's how things should go if he care to be a friend. I also told him not to bother replaying if he is not interested to work with my terms. He never returned to that email ..
It was already 8 days after the email when I saw him for the first time, that time I just got nervous, and acted as if he never exist, as if I don't see him or know him. The 2nd day I passed him, I did it with head up and confident and I just went to do my work. It happened for another day again, until the day he passed me, it was this Tuesday .. he usually will pass the area to go to another section, or wait to gather with the guys, but he was alone this time and he just stood few meters away, behind me holding his ipad and just "working", "answering emails" or w/e he is pretending to do. I knew he stood there because I was there, and I could see him because where I work the area have mirror walls and I can see him behind but I tried not to look. He stood there for a good time, then he even got closer and sat on one of the chairs in the corner .. I didn't see him do that, but when I turned to my right to move to another area, I could see him sitting on the chair, behind the plant ... "I think he was trying to hear what we were talking about" .. !
Of course we were discussing work and "other things" .. As a capricorn I am a private person so I am very familiar he doesn't know this part of me too! I also have an accent, but I can switch accents to match where are you from, so he never heard me talking in my accent .. which is where I and the other girl come from! I saw him couple of times again and the last time, I was able to look at him while he passed me but he was wearing shades , even thoug
Delia .. thank you! I no longer associate myself with him and I decided.. he no longer can manipulate me. He sure is a smart liar .. I never will understand how a person can lie perfectly O_O .. I just need to control my actions, even if I care for him. He doesn't even deserve my love and care ... such a shame! I am very sad and disappointed in him actually as a friend. He sure turned out to be nothing .. even a stranger is much better than him. I am shocked .
Yes I do agree .. I need to find "my way" through my emotions and try to figure them out. I seem to be having him in my mind a lot and that doesn't mean I am not busy, actually i am usually is until I go to bed, is alone. I think my emotions want an outlet to express themselves and I donno how I will do that. Until now, it seems like I am bottling them up instead of releasing them .. I am trying to push myself back in the gym but I know he goes there and I am worried he will be around :/ ..
I never had depression before but a friend said I do sound like I am depressed but again, it is an up and down situation, means I only feel down once I am alone in the apartment .. by myself and though I have a long list of things to do and work on, I struggle with myself to keep them done ..
On other hand, I think it is might be a good time to have a day off him or something. Seeing him at work is horrible and though I avoided the two meetings he was in, life was annoying because I saw him these two times and I also ran into him in the grocery store couple of times and once in the cafe hanging with his boys while I was with my girls. I used to never meet him unless we arrange a meeting and now it seems a small world and he is everywhere >_