Cancer 53

Posted by stopbeingdelusional
moody, romantic, sometimes self-absorbed (living in his own world), a good listener but not a good communicator, tend to be late, can be flaky, their feelings can get hurt easily, love to sleep, usually kind-hearted but sometimes like to play mind games, generous towards his love interest dear pisces male friend exactly! LOVES to talk and won't shut up once you get him started. lol However, it can indeed be like pulling teeth sometimes to get him to open matter how many times he's confided in me in the past. Love him to pieces but want to smack him silly at times.

@urbane101 I'm sorry too. Sounds like you're starting a new chapter in your life...that's exciting. No telling what the future holds. Keep your heart open!!! Hope to see postings from you in the future.
Posted by sagiluv

...The worst possible rejection for a Piscean is to be abandoned by a lover who no longer cares for them – ending a relationship with a Piscean requires steely resolve. Pisces will continue to cling; unable to accept that the relationship is over and convinced that if they reform in some way everything will be fine. An ex-partner of a Piscean may have to take extreme measures to extricate themselves from the emotional mess that a hurt Pisces can create.

So true watching a friend go through a divorce he did not want after 15 years. He was and still is devastated. He did everything possible, twisting himself in knots trying to hang on. He even acknowledges that his ex had to resort to extremely nasty behavior in order for him to finally let go.

Looking for insight on Aquarius-Pisces Cusps. I understand it can cause a Pisces to move from thinking with their heart (emotional) to thinking with their head (analytical). Pisces can be so complex to begin with...seems like the Aquarius influence could become overwhelming. Thoughts?
Giving them space when you care so much is very difficult. But, emotions are always changing. Time and space can change the dynamic entirely. You'll need to decide if you want to continue to reach out to her every now and then, or if it's just too painful. I for one, will never close the door on my pisces friend...he's too important to me, we have too much history and he has never treated me with anything but kindness. The difference is we're platonic, not romantic.
Your best friend!!! My Scorpio husband says I'm delightful. I'm very protective of those I love. When they are sad or struggling, I feel it very deeply. As a result, I can be smothering or clingy at times in my efforts to try and help them.

I keep a constant pulse on the emotions of those around me at all to 'read a room' in minutes. I think it's a subconscious defense mechanism. Lots of self reflection always with the goal of trying to improve my relationships.

LOVE music...that's how I escape to my happy place. My favorite vacation spot is my home. Appreciate the finer things in life but I don't NEED them to be happy.

Communication, communication, communication. HATE when there are unresolved issues with the people I love. I get VERY frustrated when people won't talk through issues to reach a resolution. Did I say communication!? lol

Question for you, since you are pisces and your wife is cancer...
I have a very special platonic connection with a pisces male. He drives me nuts when he disappears and won't talk to me when he's struggling with his girlfriend, ex wife, kids, work, etc. He's shared very personal thoughts and feelings with me many times. Other times, he just shuts down. Any suggestions on how I can get him to talk through stuff or is the only option to give him space while reminding him that I'm always there for him?
Posted by urbane101
Posted by glasshalffull
@urbane101 People come into our lives for 'a reason', 'a season' or 'a lifetime'. No telling what that timeline will be when we first meet. Keep the door and your heart open.

...We're gonna try and see/talk to eachother once or twice a week, and i think that hanging out in group settings is probably better for the time being to learn how to act around eachother.
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Sounds like a plan. It can be freaky when there's a 'connection' like that right from the start. Too good to be true and all is the knee jerk reaction, especially when the opposite sex has always treated them badly. It's similar to the challenge I'm having with my pisces friend. He's never had a close female friend before with our type of connection and now he doesn't know how to interact with me since we're no longer working together. It can be very overwhelming with their emotions all over the place. (And, yes, they tend to let their true feelings slip when they've had a few too many beers.) Time is needed for them to sort it out.

It's obvious that you're a great guy. Just make sure your eyes stay wide open, keep the communication going and revisit that you're sticking around for the right reasons.
@urbane101 People come into our lives for 'a reason', 'a season' or 'a lifetime'. No telling what that timeline will be when we first meet. Keep the door and your heart open.
Married a Scorpio 17 yrs ago...been together 23 and counting. We balance each other and communication was very easy from the start. Just clicked.
Posted by Moonbutter
Well good for them! I love to hear relationship success stories

what is their moon, Mercury, Mars and Venus? That could explain a lot. But I can see it working, my bff is an Aries and I got one hot on my heels right now lol
I'm a beginner here and learning, so I have no idea about their birth charts. But, based on what I've read, it appears there MUST be other placements that have helped them be successful.
My parents have been married for over 50 yrs. Observing them (now in their 70s) they seem to still be very much in love and have learned to 'tolerate' each other where needed. lol As a Cancer myself, I'm curious about your thoughts on this combination.
He did share EXTREMELY personal things/thoughts with me that he said he never even shared with his very best guy friend of 20+ yrs. I guess all I can do is continue to let him know I'm always around if he needs me. Thanks again.
Posted by tbird
If I'm pushed I may give you the simplest nugget so you can leave me the hell alone.

This seems to ring true. Appears when he's really in a bad place, he'll give me a 'nugget' to reassure me I'm not the issue...but no details. I sense the past year hasn't been an easy one for him between work pressures, challenges with his ex, his girlfriend, etc.

Appreciate the advice. It's helping me understand how he copes now that I don't see him daily. Even when I did see him, he would open up but it was also very clear he doesn't like to be a burden.
Posted by Lex
I think if you want him to stay around and speak you gotta give what you want. You can't mend his past but you can show him a better future with consistent healthy behavior.
Thank you for your thoughts. His ex was a nightmare and his girlfriend has her own set of issues. My #1 goal is to try and show him that he CAN have a healthy relationship with a woman. The encouragement I have found on this site has really helped me by confirming that I'm supporting him in the RIGHT ways so that I don't cause him even more issues. My first husband was emotionally abusive as well (we divorced 27 yrs ago), so I have a lot of experience to pull from. I believe consistent, predictable, positive communication on my part is key. But, I will be honest, it hurts my heart to watch him flip-flop around as he goes through 'recovery'. He's a total hard ass on the outside but he trusted me enough to show me the teddy bear underneath. I will never betray his trust.
Posted by urbane101
Posted by LadyNeptune
Maybe it's your approach?

If you bring up said issue but begin and end with positives it'll feel less confrontational. Reiterate that you want to work out the issue because you value him in your life etc etc.

It makes me feel valued and that someone cares about my opinion when they say "hey, I can see that you're mad, would you like to talk about it" vs "why the heck are you mad? XYZ didn't happen to you, etc."
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Got it! Also many times, I eventually find out his silence or lack of response has nothing to do with our relationship. He just goes into hiding due to issues with his ex, his boys, girlfriend, etc. If he would just say "I need space" or some type of communication instead of just silence... Sometimes I feel like when he has issues with his ex or girlfriend, I get thrown into the 'women' bucket and he just doesn't want to deal with any of us on any level.

I've sometimes said, "I'm not going to push...this is the last time I'm going to ask if you want to talk about it". Sometimes that works...sometimes not. Feel like I just need to tell him exactly that...if he just needs space and doesn't want to talk about what's going on, just tell me (and I will respect that) instead of ignoring me???
Posted by LadyNeptune
Abusive ex huh? Yeah that makes it extra important that you approach things with kid gloves.

Still get your point across, but focus on delivery.
Interesting...that's exactly how I've always thought of it...treating him with kid gloves. He's been through hell and yet most of time he still manages to stay very positive. Thanks, again!
Posted by piscespoppy
Well if he is wondering why he feels angry and blows up when issues are brought to his attention by his girlfriend, do they actually understand each other at all ? Just saying 😊
Good point. I believe it's more that he goes into defensive mode because his abusive ex used to bait him, pick fights and blow up at him. He obviously doesn't like that dynamic and is trying to be proactive in his relationships going forward. But, I think the old habit of just expecting the worst and wanting to hide is hard to break.
Posted by LadyNeptune
Maybe it's your approach?

If you bring up said issue but begin and end with positives it'll feel less confrontational. Reiterate that you want to work out the issue because you value him in your life etc etc.
OK that's encouraging, thanks. That's what I've been trying to do and I'm very calm, open about what I want to discuss, and always stress that I want to talk for the good of our friendship or in helping him overall (always repeating that he and I have always been about communication...which seems to put him more at ease). I'm sure it's going to take time for him to make changes. I know he's always thrown for a loop when he realizes that I'm not going to blow up at him or pick a fight like his abusive ex used to do. 15+ yrs of automatically going into defensive mode.
@alayna_nyx...Can't be trusted in a romantic relationship how...cheating? Just curious as I have a good male friend as well. No indications so far that he would ever cheat on his girlfriend. He's said that he's never been able to date more than one at a time.