Dreamin' is free.

Not one of my closer guy friends has not tried something or other with me. I was just having this convo with a friend. It is so disappointing. I'm 31 and prefer male company for friends. I have great girl friends as well don't get me wrong.

But anyway.. It's disappointing every time. It might be YEARS down the road but they always try sooomething at some point. It is actually kind of a nightmare. Always turns into "I've loved you for so long blah blah blahhh." ugh. I do think people can do it. Maybe I'm picking jerky guys to be around, who knows.

He sounds like one of two things:

1. A mess.
2. He's messing with you.

Either one, not that great :/

Ohh I see. You're wondering what to expect from your Virguy!

whew. I don't even know what to say about my experience with one except that I was absolutely *whipped* over him and I can't even pinpoint why. The sex was "meh" and he sometimes really bored me to tears. He was predictable also and stubborn. But I would have seriously given my left arm if it meant I could keep him lolll

You can expect a really solid passion from him. Mine was allllways touching me, rubbing my legs, back, anywhere that we were. It drove me absolutely insane. He wasn't big on gifts or showy stuff but I could care less. His touch drove me crazy. He was incredibly sweet and loving. He was the most "present" lover I've had. As in, you will feel like you have a really strong/solid/loving force on your side and you won't ever be questioning if he likes you or not.

He will be there for you and he will ALWAYS let you know he is thinking about you. This is only if he truly likes you... A downside you can expect is that he will try to change things about you, but it's in the name of self-improvement and he really is just trying to make you the best version of yourself. It can feel nitpicky especially since he won't be willing to improve much about himself.

Posted by Pandora101

Posted by hazeofpixiedust
Okay. As I'm reading this he is sending me messages calling me his "muse." Ahem. Not a joke. This is not a drill lolll I know he even tries to contain it in front of me because he knows where I stand, but I can tell he really likes me.

On another note - It's strange. The past two guys I dated ended horribly. Not on my part either. I just have a bad "picker" truly. This guy is actually pretty great but I can't stand the thought of being in a relationship right now. Aerospace Engineer, really fun, dark edgy sense of humor, adventurous, loves art like I do, we have the same tastes in things, we get along stupidly well and laugh a lot. He's not a jerk or a freak or pushy etc etc. Honestly, he is a pretty fantastic dude. What leads me to not wanting something solid with him is age and my last couple run ins with boyfriends who ended up being freaks. He is great looking for sure, but I just want someone closer to my own age..

Thank you all for the advice!

his muse?

what are his other planets? what are yours?

click to expand

Mine are in my profile. I don't even know all of his. He was born Apr. 4th.

Posted by LadyNeptune

Posted by hazeofpixiedust
I know that sounds cheesedick

Ermmm...??

click to expand

Sorry - It's just a term I use with friends (I realized after it was posted it might not be understood) to describe something that is cheesey...........

Okay. As I'm reading this he is sending me messages calling me his "muse." Ahem. Not a joke. This is not a drill lolll I know he even tries to contain it in front of me because he knows where I stand, but I can tell he really likes me.

On another note - It's strange. The past two guys I dated ended horribly. Not on my part either. I just have a bad "picker" truly. This guy is actually pretty great but I can't stand the thought of being in a relationship right now. Aerospace Engineer, really fun, dark edgy sense of humor, adventurous, loves art like I do, we have the same tastes in things, we get along stupidly well and laugh a lot. He's not a jerk or a freak or pushy etc etc. Honestly, he is a pretty fantastic dude. What leads me to not wanting something solid with him is age and my last couple run ins with boyfriends who ended up being freaks. He is great looking for sure, but I just want someone closer to my own age..

Thank you all for the advice!

Okay. As I'm reading this he is sending me messages calling me his "muse." Ahem. Not a joke. This is not a drill lolll I know he even tries to contain it in front of me because he knows where I stand, but I can tell he really likes me.

On another note - It's strange. The past two guys I dated ended horribly. Not on my part either. I just have a bad "picker" truly. This guy is actually pretty great but I can't stand the thought of being in a relationship right now. Aerospace Engineer, really fun, dark edgy sense of humor, adventurous, loves art like I do, we have the same tastes in things, we get along stupidly well and laugh a lot. He's not a jerk or a freak or pushy etc etc. Honestly, he is a pretty fantastic dude. What leads me to not wanting something solid with him is age and my last couple run ins with boyfriends who ended up being freaks. He is great looking for sure, but I just want someone closer to my own age..

Thank you all for the advice!

do you guys have good wording or phrases???? I know that sounds cheesedick, but precise would really help me out here...

Posted by Librasetting

Posted by hazeofpixiedust

Posted by Librasetting

Posted by hazeofpixiedust

Posted by solo87

Posted by hazeofpixiedust

Posted by solo87

Posted by hazeofpixiedust


Welllll, this past weekend I screwed up and slept with him. I'm pissed at myself for a couple reasons. I can clearly tell he is much more into me than I am into him. I knew sleeping with him would only make him fall harder which is unfair to him (damn you sex drive!!). I am moving soon which he knows and voiced sadness about.

I think you might need to be more clear. if your assuming the way he feels,about you base off sex then aries is not the sign for you.

Hmm no. I don't think of it like that. I mean that he was already pretty into me to begin with and sleeping with him just kind of made all of that a little stronger on his part.

nevermind, never judge aries mans feelings for you with sex most will treat you like your the one in that department.

shoot. really? ugggh. I just signed my own death cert. didn't I.... LOL

Lol I can't help but laugh.

whassofunny?!

Lol just the way you feel about men and relationships then you go sleep with a guy in his mid 40s who most likely ready to settle down. It's funny because woman seem to always create their own problems.

click to expand

I was under the impression that both sexes make mistakes in relationships/the dating world. But maybe I'm crazy?

Posted by Librasetting

Posted by hazeofpixiedust

Posted by Librasetting

Posted by hazeofpixiedust

Posted by solo87

Posted by hazeofpixiedust

Posted by solo87

Posted by hazeofpixiedust


Welllll, this past weekend I screwed up and slept with him. I'm pissed at myself for a couple reasons. I can clearly tell he is much more into me than I am into him. I knew sleeping with him would only make him fall harder which is unfair to him (damn you sex drive!!). I am moving soon which he knows and voiced sadness about.

I think you might need to be more clear. if your assuming the way he feels,about you base off sex then aries is not the sign for you.

Hmm no. I don't think of it like that. I mean that he was already pretty into me to begin with and sleeping with him just kind of made all of that a little stronger on his part.

nevermind, never judge aries mans feelings for you with sex most will treat you like your the one in that department.

shoot. really? ugggh. I just signed my own death cert. didn't I.... LOL

Lol I can't help but laugh.

whassofunny?!

Lol just the way you feel about men and relationships then you go sleep with a guy in his mid 40s who most likely ready to settle down. It's funny because woman seem to always create their own problems.

click to expand

Oh yeah... trust me I know. Why do you think I'm asking for advice? I don't think he really is looking to settle down necessarily though? Unsure there. He is a serial dater from what I've seen. Not quite a hoe but ya know....

Posted by Librasetting

Posted by hazeofpixiedust

Posted by solo87

Posted by hazeofpixiedust

Posted by solo87

Posted by hazeofpixiedust


Welllll, this past weekend I screwed up and slept with him. I'm pissed at myself for a couple reasons. I can clearly tell he is much more into me than I am into him. I knew sleeping with him would only make him fall harder which is unfair to him (damn you sex drive!!). I am moving soon which he knows and voiced sadness about.

I think you might need to be more clear. if your assuming the way he feels,about you base off sex then aries is not the sign for you.

Hmm no. I don't think of it like that. I mean that he was already pretty into me to begin with and sleeping with him just kind of made all of that a little stronger on his part.

nevermind, never judge aries mans feelings for you with sex most will treat you like your the one in that department.

shoot. really? ugggh. I just signed my own death cert. didn't I.... LOL

Lol I can't help but laugh.

click to expand

whassofunny?!

Posted by solo87

Posted by hazeofpixiedust

Posted by solo87

Posted by hazeofpixiedust


Welllll, this past weekend I screwed up and slept with him. I'm pissed at myself for a couple reasons. I can clearly tell he is much more into me than I am into him. I knew sleeping with him would only make him fall harder which is unfair to him (damn you sex drive!!). I am moving soon which he knows and voiced sadness about.

I think you might need to be more clear. if your assuming the way he feels,about you base off sex then aries is not the sign for you.

Hmm no. I don't think of it like that. I mean that he was already pretty into me to begin with and sleeping with him just kind of made all of that a little stronger on his part.

nevermind, never judge aries mans feelings for you with sex most will treat you like your the one in that department.

click to expand

shoot. really? ugggh. I just signed my own death cert. didn't I.... LOL

Posted by solo87

Posted by hazeofpixiedust


Welllll, this past weekend I screwed up and slept with him. I'm pissed at myself for a couple reasons. I can clearly tell he is much more into me than I am into him. I knew sleeping with him would only make him fall harder which is unfair to him (damn you sex drive!!). I am moving soon which he knows and voiced sadness about.

I think you might need to be more clear. if your assuming the way he feels,about you base off sex then aries is not the sign for you.

click to expand

Hmm no. I don't think of it like that. I mean that he was already pretty into me to begin with and sleeping with him just kind of made all of that a little stronger on his part.

Australia
Colorado

NOT Pennsylvania.

Met and Aries in about June. We were around each other a lot in the same social circles and enjoyed eachother's time. I was seeing someone at the time and so was he so no chance for anything to happen there.

In the past couple months he had broken up with his gf and same with my guy and I. Aries and I ended up at a party together and left with each other. Nothing happened. I mean we did spoon, but that's it We kept hanging out and things were going well. We really have a lot to talk about, we laugh 'till we cry sometimes, and we have had some really fun adventures out of town (hot springs, concerts, etc.) Because a previous breakup of mine was hard on me, I keep telling him that I really just hate dudes in general atm and don't like the idea of relationships.

Welllll, this past weekend I screwed up and slept with him. I'm pissed at myself for a couple reasons. I can clearly tell he is much more into me than I am into him. I knew sleeping with him would only make him fall harder which is unfair to him (damn you sex drive!!). I am moving soon which he knows and voiced sadness about.

I have told him a lot in conversation how I feel about relationships in general right now. I VERY MUCH want this guy as a long-term friend. I'm just in a funk right now and I don't want to hurt anyone while I'm in this state. He is a logical guy, older (I'm 31, he's mid 40's), clear thinking and not a freak - but I can tell that his hopes are definitely up with me. If we can continue a fwb thing that would be great I guess until I move but??. I've really never been the type so I'm worried about going that route...

What's a good way to voice these things to an Aries without crushing him? I don't want things to get deeper than they have already.. He has seen a previous guy of mine stalking me (yes, a genuine REAL LIFE STALKER) still on multiple occasions. He does get why I'm nervous about entering anything... Any advice?

Saggy oh Saggy Saggy Saggy. I'm sorry to hear, but buying meds and stuff for someone doesn't mean they owe you a roll in the sack. LOLLL. If she weren't leaving I would bet that you two would end up together at some point though. I did. With some guy who brought me meds and did the nice friendly stuff for a bit. Again, sorry to hear.

Yuck! Quit calling this fool and forget giving him until xmas! Move on and try to enjoy your holidays as best you can. For-get about him. He is worthless.

Posted by bizzybee84

Posted by hazeofpixiedust

Posted by LDM90

Posted by hazeofpixiedust

Posted by bizzybee84

Posted by UnicornSag

Posted by bizzybee84

Posted by hazeofpixiedust

Posted by missmissy

Posted by hazeofpixiedust
OP - he's still wrapped up in his ex. plain and simple.

Get movin' with your life. You deserve better.

Thanks. I have a date lined up with someone new for this weekend.

I guess I’m not seeing things clearly. I’m not sure if you saw this update or not:

So apparently after he turned her away he was blowing up her phone saying stuff like the breakup really messed with him, how he wanted to stay but couldn’t. Then a little later the I’m having a hard time message followed. Also, my friend is under the impression that he tried to make her jealous (I don’t agree). He snapped a video of his food and then showed the girl he was on a date then posted it on social media. This was a few weeks after telling her that he was struggling. Not quite sure showing off your date on social media means you're trying to make someone jealous though.

Anyway, she said she was hurt but loved him enough to be happy for him to be moving on. He replied with a question mark, and she said your video that you posted. He told her how he loved her very much but they just argued a lot. Then sent her another message saying it’s not wise to give out information about what may or may not be going on his dating life. She said she wasn’t asking but wished him all the best. He then liked her picture a few days later and I was told he was looking at her social media. This happened in November. He’s still liking her stuff now.

^^^
How is that wrapped up? If he turned down her reconciliation and told her not to ask questions about his dating life, doesn’t that sound like he’s moved on?

lol are you serious? It's actually worse than I thought than just with the pics.. You might have blinders on because you like they guy ( or are you young?) and I guess you would have to go through this quite a few times to realize what all this means..... He is still toying with her. Playing games. Playing hard to get. He's even making effort to make her jealous. Why? Why does he even contact her? Then it dies down and he likes a pic of hers days later. He should be focusing on you. Whether he is trying to hurt her, or whatever the case may be.... WHY? is the question.. Why would he be on a date with you but still focused on her enough to post the pic??? And yes - he was trying to make her jealous in doing that...In fact he might just be using you to make her jealous. She actually doesn't seem that interested. Your man is the one doing the damage here. Hun. he is still wrapped up in her. Sorry to say. You learn as you go that these are huge (literally, GIGANTIC) red flags and things won't work out in the end. You're being taken for a ride as a rebound. When he stops talking to her, about her, he is a free man and all yours. Until then, he still belongs to her in his mind... make sense? I really hope so.. In time you'll learn this stuff always rings true. Please don't learn all of this the hard way with this dude... Best to you, I know it sucks..

Good insight.

I hate to resurrect a thread but I had to comment. He’s more than likely liking her pictures because he’s happy for her. Happy/relieved to see that she’s okay.

You really think that's it?

Yea I do.

My ex had some serious issues. She eventually cheated on me. I broke up with her but I still kept her on social media. Now, I didn’t like her posts for a good three or four months, but after that I started liking her pictures here and there. She would posts things with her sister who I had gotten close with, food, beer,etc.-I would mainly like things of that nature. I liked the pictures because I was happy that she seemed to be doing well.

Notice how you said months later.. They are still going through the break up with previous girl involved while he is dating this new girl. It's going to be a while before he is emotionally available to date. Seriously? Also what *types* of pictures he is liking is *sort of* important. Is it just photos showing her only, like selfies? Or is it food, beer etc. like other user posted? There's a difference. But still... any of that should be happening months down the road.

Either way it's too soon. He should be dealing with his break-up alone without roping both girls into his obviously messy emotions. Dude needs a break from any females and you need a break from him until he gets his head on straight. butttt you seem hell bent on entering the mess so I guess learn the hard way...

Ehh I don’t think it really matters what he’s liking given the rest of the background information. He could like pictures of her pet rock-he still tried to make the ex jealous and then proceeded to like her pictures and look at her Snapchat. I don’t know that’s just the way I see it.

OP --- lolll. Listen to your peers. I know you want to believe different, and go ahead I guess if you want to get burned, but this guy is hung up on her..... But you seriously keep fighting that notion so ride out the storm I guess!

So you really don’t think his likes mean he’s just trying to be cordial? Showing, ‘hey no hard feelings’?

click to expand

No. I don't. With all the other background info you provided and him contacting her... No.

Posted by LDM90

Posted by hazeofpixiedust

Posted by bizzybee84

Posted by UnicornSag

Posted by bizzybee84

Posted by hazeofpixiedust

Posted by missmissy

Posted by hazeofpixiedust
OP - he's still wrapped up in his ex. plain and simple.

Get movin' with your life. You deserve better.

Thanks. I have a date lined up with someone new for this weekend.

I guess I’m not seeing things clearly. I’m not sure if you saw this update or not:

So apparently after he turned her away he was blowing up her phone saying stuff like the breakup really messed with him, how he wanted to stay but couldn’t. Then a little later the I’m having a hard time message followed. Also, my friend is under the impression that he tried to make her jealous (I don’t agree). He snapped a video of his food and then showed the girl he was on a date then posted it on social media. This was a few weeks after telling her that he was struggling. Not quite sure showing off your date on social media means you're trying to make someone jealous though.

Anyway, she said she was hurt but loved him enough to be happy for him to be moving on. He replied with a question mark, and she said your video that you posted. He told her how he loved her very much but they just argued a lot. Then sent her another message saying it’s not wise to give out information about what may or may not be going on his dating life. She said she wasn’t asking but wished him all the best. He then liked her picture a few days later and I was told he was looking at her social media. This happened in November. He’s still liking her stuff now.

^^^
How is that wrapped up? If he turned down her reconciliation and told her not to ask questions about his dating life, doesn’t that sound like he’s moved on?

lol are you serious? It's actually worse than I thought than just with the pics.. You might have blinders on because you like they guy ( or are you young?) and I guess you would have to go through this quite a few times to realize what all this means..... He is still toying with her. Playing games. Playing hard to get. He's even making effort to make her jealous. Why? Why does he even contact her? Then it dies down and he likes a pic of hers days later. He should be focusing on you. Whether he is trying to hurt her, or whatever the case may be.... WHY? is the question.. Why would he be on a date with you but still focused on her enough to post the pic??? And yes - he was trying to make her jealous in doing that...In fact he might just be using you to make her jealous. She actually doesn't seem that interested. Your man is the one doing the damage here. Hun. he is still wrapped up in her. Sorry to say. You learn as you go that these are huge (literally, GIGANTIC) red flags and things won't work out in the end. You're being taken for a ride as a rebound. When he stops talking to her, about her, he is a free man and all yours. Until then, he still belongs to her in his mind... make sense? I really hope so.. In time you'll learn this stuff always rings true. Please don't learn all of this the hard way with this dude... Best to you, I know it sucks..

Good insight.

I hate to resurrect a thread but I had to comment. He’s more than likely liking her pictures because he’s happy for her. Happy/relieved to see that she’s okay.

You really think that's it?

Yea I do.

My ex had some serious issues. She eventually cheated on me. I broke up with her but I still kept her on social media. Now, I didn’t like her posts for a good three or four months, but after that I started liking her pictures here and there. She would posts things with her sister who I had gotten close with, food, beer,etc.-I would mainly like things of that nature. I liked the pictures because I was happy that she seemed to be doing well.

Notice how you said months later.. They are still going through the break up with previous girl involved while he is dating this new girl. It's going to be a while before he is emotionally available to date. Seriously? Also what *types* of pictures he is liking is *sort of* important. Is it just photos showing her only, like selfies? Or is it food, beer etc. like other user posted? There's a difference. But still... any of that should be happening months down the road.

Either way it's too soon. He should be dealing with his break-up alone without roping both girls into his obviously messy emotions. Dude needs a break from any females and you need a break from him until he gets his head on straight. butttt you seem hell bent on entering the mess so I guess learn the hard way...

Ehh I don’t think it really matters what he’s liking given the rest of the background information. He could like pictures of her pet rock-he still tried to make the ex jealous and then proceeded to like her pictures and look at her Snapchat. I don’t know that’s just the way I see it.

click to expand

OP --- lolll. Listen to your peers. I know you want to believe different, and go ahead I guess if you want to get burned, but this guy is hung up on her..... But you seriously keep fighting that notion so ride out the storm I guess!