For me its family, and financial stability. I'm back to knowing I dont need or want a romantic relationship right now. It feels amazing.

Posted by hippiecrite

Posted by HippeeGem

Posted by hippiecrite
Hey, guys. 40’s a few days away and it’s got me in my head about alot of stuff. It’s not the number, in and of itself, but 40 is the age my mom was when she had me and (as some of you know) she died in 2017. It’s got me thinking about life. Where I’m at, where I’m going, blah blah...

Anyway. I *thought* I had a close group of friends. If anything, we were too close and cliquey and incestuous, in that weird way close friends can be. Starting to date the Virgo put a strain on certain things. I only had so much time outside my home and my girls and I tried to consolidate hang time with all of them. Some friends pulled away.

2017 was a big year. Mom got sick, eventually passed and I lost my job when I left to take care of her. The friends felt even further away. 2018 and 19 were about settling into a new career. Months of butterty hours before finally getting to a place where I actually have free time here and there. Friends are now all but gone. People that I see and interact with so infrequently that even the FB algorithm doesn’t bother to show me their online lives, perfectly mimicking our irl ones.

I “unfriended” pretty much all of them the other day. If nothing else, it’s a symbolic thing and a small reminder to not beat myself up about it. People grow apart, after all. Not gonna lie though... I feel a little guilty about it. Which is the opposite of what I was going for! Wanted them to take up less head space, ya know?

This isn’t a pity party for me tho. I’m at one with my decision. This is a thread to vent, sure, but it’s also wondering how your friends and acquaintances have changed over time. Have you ever had to completely clean house? Are there people you thought would always be in your life, who are now only in the peripheral? Have you held onto toxic people for too long? Alternatively, are there people you’d counted out who came through for you when you needed it most?

Your turn.

First I'm sorry to hear about your Mom. Losing someone is never easy, and even though we've all most likely experienced it with someone or more than one that is a big part of our life, it's still hard to come up with the right words because there are none. *hugs

How were your friends when you were going through all of that? I dont know if it was sudden or if you knew before hand, but I'm wondering mostly how they were after she passed.

I feel like friendship to me is being able to pick up wherever we left off as if there weren't any gaps. That doesnt work with everyone, and to be honest I've lost a lot of friends being that way. Some have stuck by my side since high school and earlier. 3 actually. The rest, I see some of them here and there when they're in town, and it's nice catching up. But I don't consider them best or close friends and the feeling is mutual I'm sure. It'snice to see them,and then we all carry on with our lives.

It's just drifting apart for one reason or another ime. There's nothing wrong with you making a life with your Virgo. And I feel like friends that truly care about you, and want you to be happy, will always stick by you even when things change and you can't meet up or talk as much. There should be some understanding and forgiveness. And some empathy. You've been through a lot.

I will always be there for a good friend even if they ignore me 90% of the time because of there new guy, new job, lost there job, whatever reason. It's just life. I can't deal with people who fault me for living mine when I want them to live there own.

An Aries friend did this recently, only wanted to spend with me when she was single. I was also there when she started seeing someone living with his ex and would call me at 2am drunk. Regurarly, lol.

She was definitely pre-occupied when she wasn't single anymore. And I was there for her. Then I didnt have much time for her. Kids, work and a guy are a lot to deal with, haha

Then I broke up with that Aries guy over a month ago, and she's nowhere to be found. So that's not a real friend to me.

I expect friends to disappear at times, it can't really be helped. So I hope for the same understanding when I'm really busy or pre-occupied. Sometimes I just need space from everyone.

And it's not the same as a romantic relationship. (Like if you really care you'd at least check in);Sometimes if you try to check in with everyone, do everything else and be everything else, you'll stretch yourself so thin you're no good to anyone.

So yes, I know what you mean about friends. And I am more forgiving because I'd want them to be that way for me.

Posted by HippeeGem
Sorry for the novel, lol

😂 It’s ok.

And agreed about the Aries. Sounds like she’s selfish and only uses you for a crutch.

Her death was such a weird day. My daughter put something about it on FB and one of my friends (who was old enough to know better) texted me. Maybe it’s just me, but when you live less than half a mile away, texting something like that is rude. What if by some strange turn my daughter found out before me and I had to find out something like that from an absentee friend’s text, that was more to make her feel better than it was for me?

But I digress. lol

Happened to see a handful of friends the night she passed. It was an event we’d all had scheduled for over 6mths and I was adamant I wanted to make it a normal day. Just pretend as if everything was fine and try to have a fun time, before the long trip for the funeral and the family and all of the hullabaloo. They hugged me, gave their I’m sorries, we had a good night and then it was never mentioned again. Like... ever.

I’m all for taking up where we left off. That’s been a common thread in people’s responses, including your own. One I wholeheartedly agree with! But the people I mentioned in the OP are ones that went from the closest of close to the absolute least of acquaintances. I’ve got their numbers and they have mine, but we’re not all gonna bounce back from that. Like I said, I *do* have more free time than I’ve had in years, so we’ll see what happens.

Oh! And I totally get what you mean about not always being able to check in, because of spreading yourself too thin. My 14yo is too old for a sitter, but she’s bi-polar schizophrenic, so I don’t like leaving her alone too much. Sometimes are better than others, but when things aren’t good, I’m a shut in for extended periods and very focused on her. I’m the first one to understand, sometimes life gets in the way of good intentions. 😊

click to expand

Texting you was really wrong. That would bother me alot. Nowadays I feel like we've all gotten a little bit lazy with actually communicating. I text happy birthdsy to most of my family, then try to call at some point int he day. But I text to make sure I say something.

Thus is a different situation, so I would he bothered by that. You seem like you have a good head on your shoulders and you're strong. So good on you for that 😊

I'm sure it's not easy what you deal with day to day, but you're a good Mom for always putting her first. No one can blame you for that.

I feel like sometimes friends don't know how to react or handle situations like this, so they kind of disappear. My own family has done this to me.

We all have bad things we've been through, so I'm not trying to be a victim in any way. I hate when I was accused of acting like one by my sister.

I noticed every time things were really hard for me, they all stopped contacting me. And I never got mad or brought it up. It bothered me, but I kept it to myself. Some people just don't know what to say or do. Your friends might feel like that, like you have so much going on and they can't deal with it.

I find it kind of selfish when friends or family act this way when things get really difficult. I need my space, but when anyone needs me, or I feel like they do, that's when I would always make sure they know they can talk to me.

Lately it's working and sleeping. I miss dping yoga. I was really getting into that and need to get back to doing it.

Posted by saggurl88
Yup. Need a new prescription though. 🤓

No earth placements though. I ruined my eyes as a kid. I used to read books in the dark under a soft light at bedtime. I’ve always had to read a book from cover to cover once I pick it up.

I would do the same. Still do, lol. Do you need glasses for distance? I just wear them when I drive. And only for sports on tv.

Texting someone thinking they were a different person. Actually complaining about said person. Only to be texting them. Bad mistake.

Posted by nikkistar
One time, while doing export. I ordered a 40' container of Sprite instead of Coke. So there's that.

Sprite is my favorite ❤ I'll swap the Cola with you anyday.

Posted by HippeeGem

Posted by WateryGem
So, I was talking to my bff this summer, I forget exactly what brought this up but she has never looked a man in the eyes when she's had sex. She thought it was weird sounding. Lolol

I was floored, like, what? I love to connect that way but I'm very careful about bc I feel like my soul is opened that way.

Do you do this? Is this weird for you? Do you love it?

If so, what's your Sun, Moon, Venus, Mars and Rising?


Hers is:
Virgo rising
Gemini Sun
Aquarius Moon
Cancer Venus
Virgo Mars

Mine is:
Capricorn rising
Gemini Sun
Scorpio Moon
Cancer Venus
Virgo Mars

I do it, but not all the time. Like I can't spend the whole time gazing into someone's eyes. I'll start to feel squeamish and uncomfortable. It's almost overwhelming in a way sometimes. Can't explain it.

But then there are times where I've locked eyes with someone and feel overwhelmed on a good way. Like complete and total love. It's an amazing feeling to share that with someone.

I also have a problem with talking dirty during sex. When it's asked of me, I get in my head alot and just wish they would'nt ask me to do something that doesn't come naturally. If I say anyrhing on my own and I wanted to, then that's different. I really don't like to be told what to say.

Also I'm single and speaking of past relationships where I was in love, lol.

click to expand

Edit to add
Gemini sun
Aries Moon
Taurus Venus and Mars
Leo Rising

Posted by WateryGem
So, I was talking to my bff this summer, I forget exactly what brought this up but she has never looked a man in the eyes when she's had sex. She thought it was weird sounding. Lolol

I was floored, like, what? I love to connect that way but I'm very careful about bc I feel like my soul is opened that way.

Do you do this? Is this weird for you? Do you love it?

If so, what's your Sun, Moon, Venus, Mars and Rising?


Hers is:
Virgo rising
Gemini Sun
Aquarius Moon
Cancer Venus
Virgo Mars

Mine is:
Capricorn rising
Gemini Sun
Scorpio Moon
Cancer Venus
Virgo Mars

I do it, but not all the time. Like I can't spend the whole time gazing into someone's eyes. I'll start to feel squeamish and uncomfortable. It's almost overwhelming in a way sometimes. Can't explain it.

But then there are times where I've locked eyes with someone and feel overwhelmed on a good way. Like complete and total love. It's an amazing feeling to share that with someone.

I also have a problem with talking dirty during sex. When it's asked of me, I get in my head alot and just wish they would'nt ask me to do something that doesn't come naturally. If I say anyrhing on my own and I wanted to, then that's different. I really don't like to be told what to say.

Also I'm single and speaking of past relationships where I was in love, lol.

Posted by LadyNeptune
How do I gaze into his eyes when he’s pummeling me from behind. Please advise.

Mirrors? Seems so 1989 though, lol

Posted by UnusualVaginalDischarge
Why is everyone having fun but me

I'm not having fun either. But I'm also really enjoying being single. Enjoy it and it'll probably go away, lol.

Let's not have fun together girl. 2020 is a new yeah whatever it's just another year

Number 5 in Umbrella Academy. He wasn’t my favorite in the comics, but he’s amazing in the show




Also Klaus, number 4

Posted by IAteMyGrandmaInMonkeyTown
You guys ruin every story. Not everything is money or porn or daddy issues. They are legit. Romantic actually and met in a normal way in real life.

Is he rich. Not crazy rich. She would be richer than him by now I think if she did not have kids.

Ok not to ruin the idea of this working, but you said they're really private. Who is to say they're in awe of each other privately? So they act romantic and in love publicly then.. who knows if they even share a bed.

It could happen I suppose. Just really hard to imagine.