Posted by Stardeath
Hi, I am a scorpio girl. And my bf is a Cancer, which broke up with me last May 4.
It was an ugly breakup, and not a mutual decision. I don't want the breakup, but what can I do right? He said some nasty things, told me "treetrunk you", called me a toxic, disgusting, possessive, manipulative, double standarder, and guilt tripper.
I owned the blame. I said sorry and told him I repent all the things that made us split up. And I want to be in good terms. I love him so much and tries to reconcile on him but he is responding to me like I am not a person at all or like we didn't had a past. He is my first LDR and online relationship. He knows I am pretty scared of all of it but he made me feel safe so I gave it a go.
I feel like the whole breakup is so unfair because he didn't gave me a chance , and he said nothing will change if he will and I won't change. He said he gave out a lot of chances during our relationship already. Which I also did for him, and yet?
Idk what to do. Like, I wanna win him back and hoping that he'll realize all the things I've done for him. Because he admitted I did lot of things for him that he never experienced in a relationship before and it makes him feel special and loved.
But now I see him being so close to our mutual friend of mine which is like his "little sis" (according to him when we were still okay). But i saw him posting I love you so much to her wall, and I love you to her posts. And it hurts me much.
I don't know what to do. I am pretty destroyed
Posted by Aries4
My Cancer guy is driving me crazy. I'm an Aries woman and I'm trying to patient with him but it's hard.
We've been dating for like 3 months, we really hit it off right away. we just naturally clicked. the attraction was always there since we met. However, during this period we 've dealt with the problem of his mood swings when he had suddenly changed or disappeared for no apparent reason. But we went through it all thanks to my doing the first step, which led to his coming back and being as caring and loving as possible. So recently everything was just perfect, he would always tell me he loved me, that he had never felt like this before with anyone else, he always took me out on dates and out with his friends... I met his family. he always referred to me as his girlfriend. we spent a lot of time together, he always made time for me, even when he had work all day he came to see me afterwards. We've even been intimate together and he was my first, so it was a big deal for me and he knew it. However, this past week he has been very distant with me. He doesn't call or text like he used to and when I do he ignores my texts or responds with short answers without any enthusiasm. I asked what's wrong he said that nothing was wrong that he is loaded with work and is very tired. He actually is busy, since he's been working like 24/7 but being busy did not stop him before, and anyway I believe that if you care for someone you can find time for just one small sweer goodnight and good morning text. And his behaviour is very strange considering that he was completely different before and we were talking every single day. why this sudden change? I am very confused!!!
Posted by Pisces7733
I’m new here. I'd like to have your opinion (cancerians) about the situation I'm currently dealing with.
I met this cancer man 2 months ago. We have seen each other twice (I know it's not a lot but I went on a holiday twice during those 2 months). We had good chemistry and we talked nearly everyday. I know he needs his space sometimes, and I do to. When we met it was very lovely. He gave me lots of compliments, I gave him compliments too of course. I noticed that he looked a bit shy when he gave me compliments. He also hugged me a lot of times and wanted to hold me (sometimes it seemed that he wanted to hold me, but was holding back). It clicked and it felt just natural. We had a nice flow.
He is going through some personal things, and lately has been distant. The first time he was silent he didn't tell me anything, I didn't pressure him even though I was making up all kinds of scenarios and was ready to move on (this is my first time dealing with a cancer, so please bare with me). He messaged and apologised to me for being silent after 2 days and explained that someone of his family has fallen ill. I told him I was there for him and he went back silent, which I understood so I gave him his space and sent him a nice gif once during this silence. After 4 days he contacted me again right before I went on a holiday. Everything was all good and he seemed to be doing better. We met up after I landed and had coffee (this was so thoughtful of him).
Fast forward, we were supposed to meet up. We made plans even though he was going through some issues again and was a bit distant. He has some issues at work so I didn't push him, but he still wanted to meet me. He seemed excited. He was home alone and we decided to do some cooking together. He lives in another city so I told him I will come to his. He again apologised for being a bit distant and that he would tell me what has been going on when we would meet (the next day). We even agreed on a time. The next day I texted him I was on my way, but no response. I was like whatever he will respond later. I know that the night before he was going out with a friend (I saw posts of them two). He even asked to reschedule our time to a bit later the next day which was okay for me. When I got there he didn't show up. My messages didn't come through as he didn't have internet in another country (we live close to the border). He messaged me once” hey did you leave your home yet because I don’t have any signal here and phone is dying”. I interpret that as “just so you know my phone doesn't work but ill be there”. His friend then posted a pic on IG later that day that they were super hungover and eating pizza. At the same time that we were actually supposed to meet.
I was gutted because I drove nearly 2 hours to see him. We agreed on the date and time. He was not there. His phone wasn't on, I do believe him when he said he didn't have a signal. I sent him a couple of texts with “where are you?” After waiting for an hour I went back home. I was upset to say the least.
When I got back home I sent him “thanks a lot”. And went back to bed. I needed to calm down and didn't want to go all crazy on him so i thought it was best to sleep on it. Later that day my messages came through but didn't reply.
I noticed he tends to make “poor” decisions when he is with his mates and likes to be with them since they don't see each other that often. Which I can somehow understand since he has been in a mood lately. He probably “needs” this.
I gave it some thought and texted him the next day. Not even angry but I said “ I want to be honest with you, what happened last night kind of hurt me. I hope you can look at it and understand me from my point of view and see that it wasn't a nice experience for me. I'm not saying this because I want a fight with you.m nor am I even angry with you. It just hurt my feelings because I do think you are sweet and nice. And I have been a bit worried about you lately as well”.
4 days has passed and no apologise which I don't even expect, no nothing. He has been in his shell a lot lately and I bet he still is, but this is a bit crap to be honest.
What do you reckon I should do next?
Thanks a lot
Posted by Damnata
He's stringing you along.
Posted by AngelGrace
So I'm with a cancer guy,we've been together for 9 months yh,yh I've had emotional distress and happiness from dating him,the distress because I don't understand him at times.
So now,for about 3 weeks,he says he's been busy I've been asking for a hang out,finally we saw yesterday night but he promised me today so we could be with each other for a longer time,but today it flopped, now this is not new to me because he says he can't make it sometimes.
Yh we've had a few sleepovers and I don't know it didn't turn out that lovely.
But a sleepover is when I get to be with him for real, I'm asking and he's not responding.
I've cheated on him for these same reasons and he's forgiven me.
First I don't know what to do
2. I feel like cheating again (I cheated with a sag).
3.he's a politician, and there's inauguration on the 26th.
4.kindly help a Leo out and tell me what's going on that I can't see,will ya?
Posted by rose78451235
I am a Libra sun, Gemini moon, Venus Leo.
I met a cancer man (scorpio moon and venus cancer) almost about a year back. We were both in relationships with different people. I was *newly* married but not happy and sort of in the process of separating. He was in a long unhappy relationship. We clicked instantly. We both were travelling for work and we were together for two weeks. everything happened very fast and we enjoyed each other's company a lot. The week after he left, he invited me to travel with him for a weekend, everything was perfect. Then he broke up and I moved out to new city away from my husband. We travelled a few times and we used to write to each other quite lot in the beginning *emails then. After a month or two, I felt him pulling back. Then we had moved on to texts. He then responded by saying he isn't much into texting. We live in different cities.
I read quite a bit about cancer men and I was being patient and letting him have his space. I had made it clear that I am in love with him but he never said anything, only that he likes me a lot. But his actions proved otherwise when we were alone. He would take care of me, hug and take me to places that I wanted to see, he would keep an eye on details and do things that were special. He spent the whole of my birthday with me, picked me up, waited for hours, he took me to his favourite places, he gave me his books and cds that he liked (he being a cancer, if he tried all of that, it made me feel like he really interested in pursuing this too and just needed more time to process this). and I have always told him that I don't need an answer, I just liked spending time with him and I don't want a committment. I would always catch him staring at me.
Then he actually started avoiding me for about 2-3 months started around October-till January. He would respond but didn't seem very much into trying to keep up the conversation. He visited my city in December to see his friends (I knew it was just a layover and super short) but he never tried to tell or even have 5 minutes to see me. I was hurt but never mentioned it to him.
As he kept on avoiding me I stopped with texting him as it seemed that I was bothering him (I am a libra, and normally I am super apologetic all the time). I visited his city for work around feb but didn't tell him. We met then at work and he insisted on dropping me in the train station, and he looked into my eyes and said that you never told me you are coming because I didn't tell you when I visited your city. I felt that he cared and did want to see me.
The communication picked up again. He would message and try to talk.
I would get occasional calls late in the night when he'd say he misses me. I would get drunk and message him bunch of things that I am totally in love with him (this has happened many times and I know I behaved like a child).
Then he was coming over to my city for a few days to see his friends and party, initially he said he'd stay over with me, but later said it isn't wise. We aren't open with our relationship (or whatever it is). Then he said, he isn't looking for a relationship and doesn't want me to think that way if we get involved, he indicated having a friends with benefits relationship. I said, if that's how I get to be a part of his life, its ok with me. Then we all went partying and the whole night he kept dancing around with other women, I wasn't comfortable and I left. Then he called me at early morning asking if he could come over. and he stayed. This happened both the nights. But I was always caring towards him, I made him breakfast, and did everything to make him feel special. then I travelled with him halfway with food and icecream, he layed his head on my head. hugs me, his body language speaks to me differently when we are alone together.I would make really nice romantic gestures, like getting him things that he likes based of his interests. remembering things that he likes. saving tickets of places we went together.
Then we were back to texting, I asked if we could meet again, he said maybe in a few months. But the communication was daily, I was drunk again one night and we talked about getting a home here, a dog, etc etc. He wasn't participating in the discussion but kept saying ok and at one point he said not this place, we will stay there. I kept asking if I am talking too much, he said I am listening to you.
Then one night again, I texted him a lot of stuff about me being in love with him. Then he's gone. No answers nothing. I apologized the next morning over text, he read it, no response. called him twice, no answer. I sent him a picture of my new bike one week later, saying that I wanted to show this to him, no response. Sent him a picture of a beer saying that he'd like it (also said, that I know you don't like me anymore but I had to show you this, he is a fan of beer), no response. Its been more than a month and no response, I stopped pestering him and its been a month since I wrote to him.
A part of my head says he is taking time to think, a part of it says he was playing with me. I don't know if I should stay or move on. And I don't want to move on to be honest. Its super painful and I am trying to keep myself busy but I just don't know what or how to get out of this. I don't want to meet new people, I don't want to see anyone else. I get flashbacks and keep asking myself if I did anything wrong. My friends say he's a douchebag but I am not convinced that he is one. I felt the connection. And I did tell him earlier that whatever you do, please don't ghost me, to which he said he always closes things properly with the women he has dated (but did we date?) And this was the guy who would tell me that, he went to this place and its beautiful and he knows I will love it.
He always told me that he isn't looking for a relationship after he broke up. He said earlier that its going too fast and he wants to be alone, and we could keep meeting and in future we will see how it goes. He has been very on and off. Every time he would want me around, I'd make sure to drop everything and be there for him. But he would tell me that he misses me, he likes me. I wasn't pushing him to become my boyfriend or anything but I would tell him that I love him. I would even tell him if I felt jealous, that I feel jealous. not in an angry manner but in a questioning manner asking how do I deal with this, I am honest to a fault. and I'd feel that he liked it.
Please don't be mean to him and thank you if you read this long story but any perspective? I am driving myself insane.
Posted by scorpiogoddess23
So I’ve known this cancer guy for a very long time. We worked together a few years back, but still stayed in contact, even though we no longer work together. We’ve always got on very well, and in all honesty, I’ve always liked him more then a friend, but never said anything, as I didn’t think he would be interested. We did used to flirt, but it was just for laughs. Anyway recently the flirting went a step further and we ended up sleeping together, which has now happened more than once. We had a conversation on what this would be between us, and both come to a mutual agreement, but lately he’s been extremely distant. He doesn’t ask to see me, he doesn’t txt me. I seem to be doing all the txting (I don’t txt too often, maybe once a week) and I find the conversation to be a struggle, and things were never like this before. I don’t know if I’ve done something to piss him off or turn him off even. He isn’t saying much to me at all. Is this normal cancer behavior? As this is the first cancerian guy I’ve ever dealt with. A part of me regrets sleeping with him now, as I liked how things were before. To be honest, I feel like he’s treating me like someone he’s just met. I mean we wasn’t the best of friends beforehand, but I classed him as a friend, and I thought he saw me as friend also. He’s confided a few family issues with me in the past, and I’ve always kept his secrets. He even used to come to me for advice about women he dated a few years back, and I would do the same too. I didn’t expect him to behave this way with me.
Posted by egyptianeyes
Long cancer male post ahead…
I just can’t figure this out…even with all the threads on Cancer males…
I’m a Libra, with my moon in Cancer…he’s a Cancer, with his moon in Libra…we’re both in our 40’s…he approached me on facebook…normally I would just ignore…too many creepies on FB, but since we had many mutual friends in common, I messaged him back… & before I knew it, he was calling & messaging me everyday…we decided to meet in person & we hit it off instantly…NYE, 1 month later, was our first kiss & when things started getting serious…we dated exclusively for six months & during those six months, he wooed me, swept me off my feet…he was the perfect gentleman, in EVERY sense of the word…& the chemistry between us was mind blowing…he:
• Told me that he wanted me to meet his parents & come over for family lunches
• wined & dined me 3, sometimes 4 days of the week
• would pick me up from home & drop me off, for every date, always opening the car door for me & would walk me to my elevator
• would call me to make sure I got home ok if I was out with friends
• bought me a dozen roses & a really expensive haute couture bag for Valentine’s Day
• asked to meet my family & friends, which he did
• took my mother out a couple of times & bought her flowers for Mother’s Day
• went out of his way to help me finish building up my business…whether it be with electrical, plumbing, carpentry, IT needs…he was always there for me
• told me he loved me & that I was gift from God, not once, not twice, but on several occasions & not even just that…he told me he wanted to get married someday
As a typical Libra, I go in head first into any relationship, never with my heart…with this crab, I felt so secure & so stable, I gave him my heart…I did things I never felt the need to do with any of my past relationships because I never really loved any of them, & because I was sure he was the one…I baked for him & loved him with my entire being…
& then, 6 months into the relationship, I realized that I hadn’t seen him in over 1 week… I assumed it’s just the Crab retreating into his shell,& so I gave him his space…1 week became 2, then 3… & though we were still talking & texting almost everyday…I noticed it wasn’t as lovey dovey on his side… he stopped saying I miss you, I love you…
So I sent him a text message asking him if something was wrong…he told me, nothing is wrong but he will explain when we meet…
We arranged to meet for breakfast…he didn’t pick me up like he always did…I thought nothing of it…when we met, we talked….but I got nothing out of the conversation…he had to leave to a meeting…he walked me to a taxi & hugged & kissed me & as he did, I felt my heart sink…I felt something was wrong
In the taxi, I messaged him, “Thanks for meeting me…I didn’t want to make you late for your meeting…but I really need to ask you a question…was today’s meeting to state that we are just friends?”
He replied…you’re silly…of course we will always be friends…I’ll call you after my meeting
He called later that night…repeating that we’ll always be friends...so I asked him, are we just friends? He again repeated we’ll always be friends…that’s when I laid it out for him, are we exclusive to each other?...his voice started cracking as he said I don’t want to do this over the phone…I told him answer the question…he said yes, we’re just friends…a big slap in the face…I told him I have male friends & God knows I never treated them the way I treated you…he again repeated, that we shouldn’t do this over the phone, that we should meet when I get back from my trip, but I told him no, you’ve made it crystal clear, thank you, good night & with that I hung up…
The next morning I had a flight to catch…determined that I would not contact him during the entire time of the trip…he kept sending me friendly whatsapp forwards…I ignored them all…when I got back, I went out with a mutual friend & he asked me about my crab…I told him I don’t know where he is…when my friend messaged the crab saying that he saw me & asking where he was …the crab answered “oh I didn’t know she was back…hope you had fun, let’s hang out”…
Meanwhile I kept receiving friendly whatsapp forwards, which I continued to ignore for 3 weeks…but then I just couldn’t, so I messaged him telling him that what he did was unacceptable, that you can’t woo someone for 6 months, insist to meet all their family & friends, then wake up one day & selfishly decide to end it on your own without informing the other party…he replied he was busy & that such things should not be discussed over text, that he would call me…I gave him the thumbs up…I waited, no call so I went to sleep…still no call…I don’t know why, but i woke up, blocked his phone number & deleted him off FB…brash Venus…lol…& with that I left the country for a week initiating no contact
When I came back a mutual friend of ours contacted me…she asked me about him, I told her we had broken up…shocked, because they were all convinced we were made for each other…she decided to text him asking him what had happened…
He told her that we had mutually decided to be just friends…
That was when I unblocked his phone number & messaged him stating please do not tell my friend things that never occurred…we did not mutually decide to be just friends…you solely decided that…
He then said sorry…let me make it very clear…I don’t have enough money to start a life with you…that he was working on his business & that it would take 2 – 3 years
I replied we all have financial problems, & how did you know that I wouldn’t stand by you, we were put on earth to stand by each other…but to cut me off like that, as if things would dissolve on their own, that hurt…that he was more than enough for me, but doing that made me feel that I was never enough for him…
He replied, he didn’t want to burden me & that sometimes a man has to do certain things that hurt to protect those that are dear to him…
We closed off wishing well to each other…I sent him a friend request on FB, & he accepted
He now sends me forwarded messages on holidays, to which I reply with forwarded messages…I haven’t seen him for 4 months since that meeting in June…& no messages on my birthday
I’m truly saddened & disappointed & can’t help but think that he was playing me the entire 6 months…but a big part of me feels he is genuine & misses him dearly…
My question is…what now? do I continue no contact, giving him his space? & for how long?...mind you I’ve been approached by others, but I can’t seem to get him out of my mind…a hopeless romantic & no thanks to Charlie Puth’s song “we don’t talk anymore”… I overdosed, & [perhaps I] should’ve known [his] love was a game, but I can’t get [him] out my brain… what truly was all of this for? ☹