Hey, I just want to post an update because something strange happened with my feelings. Last Friday she texted me at 0:15AM if I want to take a walk, I could not sleep so I agreed. We met in town centre, she was very happy, energetic and looked nice. We made 20km (12 miles) on foot. Everything was fine for few hours until we sat on a bench and started talking about our "relationship" - we both felt sad at the moment. I told her that one day she may realize how much I love herm but it would be too late.
She told me that now she needs time, and then maybe something would happen between us, but right now she's against this idea. She's tired because me and "other" guys hit on her. During our meeting I saw few of her flaws that drive me crazy for example: she smokes a lot of cigs, gets headache, buys painkillers, smokes another one. We had few moments of silence - lack of topics. I realized that even If we would get back together sooner or later we would split again. I guess I would always love her in some way, but I doubt we would be happy together as we were two years back. At least we should be a pair of friends, why not?
I brought her home, it was around 4AM, she invited me in - we didn't even touched each other. Just slept in one bed. At 7AM I took Uber home, and went to work.
She texted me few times later with some bs, but I ignored it or replied hours later. Yesterday I took a long walk at night(couldn't sleep because of fullmoon) thinking about this whole situation and felt FREEDOM and HAPPINESS. IDK Why.
I don't want to cut her off completely, just stay in contact. Now my main goal is to focus on myslef, because for the last 8 years of my life I was in longterm relationships. Since 16y old, I was single for only 5 months and put woman on pedestal. I have enough for now.
I didn't cheat on her, didn't play with her emotions. The breakup reason is in the first post. She told me that she feels "nothing" because of the breakup, and she felt hurt when I suspected her of cheating. I didn't contacted with her since that night, this night when I was sleeping she texted me with question if I'm asleep. This morning she texted that it was nothing major. Thank you all.
Not good, I want her even more after what happened yesterday, but she claims that she feels "nothing".
She went back to town, we met in person yesterday to talk, in her apartament because it wa raining. We both had teras in our eyes: I, because I felt that eventually we would lost contact forever, she because she sees how hard I try but she still feels nothing and she feels guilty about that. We were talking for about 2 hours - recalling memories, laughed, cried, everything I held her hand. I asked her what she feels, because I was writing and texting to her but she never said a word about what she feels. Finally she told me that all what she wants now it's sex and we did it, felt amazing, the intimacy was mind-blowing. After that she was very sad but satisfied, I asked why: because I used you and you still have hope. I replied that I agreed to be used. She told that I'm good in bed, she is great too. Then we were lying next to each other saying few words and looking in each other's eyes. I asked her can we contact each other, she replied OK. We fall asleep, but I woke up: told her that I must go because I have work tomorrow, gave her a kiss and told to not feel guilty that she feels nothing. I spent there over 4 hours.
I totally don't know what to do now. I still love her. I'm now sitting in my office, can't focus on anything because she pops in my head. Is there any chance? I still feel in my gut that we should be together.
Update: She got the flowers, with a card "Sorry". She sent me photo of the flowers (they were beautiful imo) with a question: You are sorry for what? I took a break in my workplace, made a list of things that I messed up in this relationship since the beginning, especially in the last few months. She replied to me that its nice that I noticed these things. Since then I only wish her good night and can't wait until we could meet 1on1. She's now with her whole family - so IDK how their influence would affect her. But I still feel that eventually we would be back together, I don't know why.
Thank You all for help and support especially @Yodi I wouldn't do such things for random girl, since I met her I felt she's the one.
I'm a Virgo man who's been with lovely Cancer woman for over two years. The beginning of our relationship was like an extraordinary experience - never met such a lovely person in my life, also other aspects were super-good. We were happy, and loved each other very much I constantly had a vision of her as my future wife. But, for the last 5-6 months we were fighting over minor stuff, so minor that I don't even remember, but it had impact on us - the communication between us became worse and bigger problems started.
But let's get to the breakup itself. Day Before She was abroad for 1.5 month, and went back. So that day after work i came to see her, she was like cold and reserved, didn't want to have sex at all, agreed on a quickie. We went to the restaurant, talked and everything was nice, until when we were getting back - she told that we should try sex with other partners, I was like so a 4-some? She said no, separate you take some random girl and I take a guy. At first i thought that she is testing me and said that it could possibly kill our relationship. We talked about that for a while, but I was scared as f. thinking that she cheated on me or want to cheat with some guy with my approval. Later that night we had another fight for something very minor but we spent a night together. Day of the breakup: I woke up, started thinking about all this mess - angry since yesterday. I said we should take a walk, finally i sat on a bench and told her that this is over - told her why. She cried, begged me one time to give her some time to adjust to me again. We talked almost an hour about us. She even wanted to have the last sex with me, I refused. Day after: Texted her that we should meet yo give her stuff back, I gave her few items, she gave me mine.
Few day later i realized that I love her so much, and broke up with her only because I was very angry and jealous. I texted her six days after the breakup to talk. We sat an hour together talking and even laughed together few times mentioning our past. I told her that we lost something in the process, and should rebuild our relationship. I knew where we messed up because I have a journal, I went form first to last meeting and knew everything. I asked her if she would take a trip with me, that we planned together - said NO and told me that I should meet someone else.
Two weeks after breakup I sent her a letter and my journal. After that we were texting about weather, about trip that I took myself, sent some photos to ourselves, she took few days in SPA. One night we were texting, I told her that I would like to call her, she replied that I should. We talked for over 2.5 hour! I felt great, we were honest and happy, i felt that communication was great. She confessed that she also messed up few thing when we were together, and if I would be near her right now she would totally have sex with me.
Next day she didn't contacted me at all and didn't replied to my hello, so when in the evening I texted If she's safe and everything is OK, because i'm worried. She replied that everything it's fine. Next day, we texted and talked on a phone for 20-30 minutes. Next day, we were both coming back to our town, she was there 2PM and I 10PM, I texted her that I went back, what about a walk? She told me that tomorrow she drives to her parents and must be up early.
Now she is in her parent's home-town and I don't know what to do next. I know that we both messed up, but I was the one who broke up with her. Any tips? I want to send her flowers there.
I can't figure out her emotions: she's happy during contact with me, and next day very cold. Should i give her more time or try harder?
So should I try to be "friends" with both and get some break from being in relationships. Good option. But... I think when she text me again in the middle of the night I will dress up and talk with her again.
And After that shock I told her that I've got some mixed feelings and skipped the topic.
After such exciting night I got few hours of sleep, and meet with my Aquarius. I was sad and detached, she was stressed and asked for eating her. Did that, asked for something for me - NO! I was sad even more. While I was driving to my home I texted to Cancer that I want to talk. She couldn't but later she said that we can go out for a walk at night. 9:30PM we talk and talk I started with Aquarius topic and told the truth that I fell that I don't love her anymore. We changed the place, and suddenly one of our friends [Mine, AQ and C] spotted us on a walk at 1AM, he told his GF - friend of AQ. It was uncomfortable, but we played it out somehow - he was drunk. We got uber and got back to her house, talked like an extra hour. I felt that we both "feel something" we even told that to each other when I was getting back home. I wanted to go home - I was tired and stressed, she told me if I go out she will cry. I went back home, got some sleep.
Two days after GF of a friend talks with me about it and asked me for same goddam questions: - Do you love her? - Are you happy together? - Is it really that bad? Silence, again. She told me she will not tell anything to AQ but I should talk about it. I replied: I'm just planning when should we break up.
Should I: - end it up with AQ, and try to be friends - I would like to be able to talk with her, she's so intelligent - Give AQ another chance, just being ultra honest but not about Cancer - Break up with AQ and get with Cancer SLOWLY - Break up and just give some time to myself, and maybe get with Cancer
I think about it all the time, I know what to do but I'm somehow scared about consequences The worst is that AQ seems so unconscious about that - hard hit.