My first date with a capricorn man is approaching. Help me decide what to wear...
I am 39, aries. He is 46, Cappy, moon in sag. My venus/mars are taurus. His are Cap.
I am wildly vascillating between a very fitted, but modest, (not low cut) cotton, sleeveless dress from the 40's bought in the south of france, with dropped waist and knife pleats to the knee. Its very sharp, and adorable. I was going to wear it with a little shrug or bolero, and wear it with flats.
The other choice is a chocolate brown, long sleeved, knit dress with a big cowl neck. It hugs the body to below the knee, but in a very elegant way. Its a one of a kind, that a designer friend made, but is very simple. I was going to wear it with a golden, tawny, cashmere wrap and boots with a bit of a heel.
So... fun, stylish and adorable, or elegant, stylish and simple.
He's about four inches taller than me.
My question, besides which dress, is do Cappy's like girls taller than them? Does it give them something to climb?
He is very secure in his work, and very high up in it. But he's a bit shy when it comes to women.
Wow! I am dealing with this problem in a big way at the moment. As an aries, I have found that I am very attracted to the general personality traits of leo more than any other sign. The three people I'm closest to in the world are all leo monkeys. All born within the same week, two born on the same day, one of them being my boyfriend.
Having been with this cat for almost a year off and on, and currently having had a tiff of medium size, I can say that the triggers are control and him always wanting to be the teacher and never the student. There is a definite jealousy factor too as my life does not have the challenges his does. I have a lot more freedom. I think that he would like to have met me when he was on top of the world and on top of his game. The irony is, he is attracted to powerful women, and so he loves me for my accomplishments too.
The irony for me, is that I love the control thing on a romantic/sexy level, but when it comes to other aspects, I find his methods to be archaic. Almost draconian. I think he sometimes mistakes me for a schoolgirl who needs reprimanding. I'm a full grown woman who is ready to express myself.
Our methods butt heads. My winning combo for getting things done is different than his, and requires aggressiveness. My impatience too is not a great factor when it comes to either of us having pressure on us. I get over things quickly. He sulks. Very difficult. I've always wanted to be the kind of person who can just let things slide off my back, but alas, I'm not there yet.
There are a lot of factors here that are definitely depending on the individual. I was raised with a lot of love, and he was raised harshly, so our life skills and ways of coping also are different. We love to do the same things, and are attracted to the same life style . If money and time weren't such a huge factor and pressure for him, I don't think we'd ever argue, but they really lay him flat. That's what got us this time, and it all came to a head, and now I'm getting the silent treatment. Aries no like that.
And yet, the places we do mesh, are off the charts. . Also, although I am an aries, I am an intensely feminine, nurturing, compassionate, yet naughty type, with a typical child's heart, which he (usually) finds irristable. I have learned a lot fom the boundaries that he has installed through wisdom. Not so much from the ones enforced by anxiety.
I can testify that it is one of the most romantic, expressive and sexually fulfilling matches I've had in my life. There is a certain shortcut, physically and soulfully, that leo/aries enjoy that I've never had with any other sign. All my leo friends are practical, no bullbutter people but they instantly see the authenticity in me, or anyone else.
I think it is the open expressiveness of aries - we are children at heart, without a certain sense of limitation. Leo loves children, loves spontaneity and best of all, leo isn't afraid to say so. Aries is often intimidating and does not get approached. We always have to initiate. But if we are lucky enough to meet a leo, that Leo will always initiate right back in a very upfront way.
Also: Compliments. Leo and aries inspire compliments in each other. Other signs are freakin stingy with them, and believe it or not, it can do a lot of damage not to be able to give or receive them naturally and with ardor/appreciation. It may sound superficial, but it keeps things pretty romancy...
C'mon you guys - I wrote this entry back in Nov. Thanks for the advice, but its a little late in the game.
As for what's going on now, leo and I are happily together. Turns out sometimes people mean exactly what they say. He worked his butt off to get his butter together, appraised me of how things were going without dragging me through the worst of the bullbutter with the ex, called everyday, told me he loved me everyday etc.. there was no friends with benefits going on. I didn't want to be with anyone else and neither did he.
On New Years we officially sealed the deal again. He has had a challenging time. His ex is difficult - these women exist - some of you know what I'm talking about. BTW, She's a vastly unhappy, vastly overweight capricorn. However, he's handling the whole thing with as much aplomb as he can while juggling a contracting biz, a three year old he has most nights of the week, and moi. The keys were re-presented to me in a very romantic way last month, and we are on track.
What I learned from this, is that sometimes people really do know what's best for them and you should trust them on that. He didn't want a big mess, and his caution, far more exercised than mine, prevented one. Taking the lead in this gave him the confidence he needed after feeling castrated for several years, and it gave us a chance to see that our relationship was very passionate, even without the sex, (which is a straight up leo/aries bonfire!) It was hard, but it was worth it.
Well - thank you all for helping me consider all the facets of this situation. He got sick. I went over there, fully clothed, I might add - we skipped the whole plumbing excuse - and skipped the sex - and went straight to the relationship talk. .. there was some making out, but mostly talk, and I left with a newly forged sense of where he's coming from and a definite request from him that we be 'on' rather than off. So we'll see what happens next.
well, for all you experts out there I should probably reveal the flip side, which is that my venus, mars, and another couple planets are in taurus... though in so many ways I am a textbook aries. I think this has been great advice. Thanks prringleo and leokitten for being devil's advocates. I think especially helpful is the advice about inquiring as to his feelings. I think at this point he has had enough time to ruminate.
ha - that would be great if I were a scorpio but actually, I'm an aries. Gemini rising. Leo moon.
I do appreciate the viewpoints and the protective advice. Its so sweet to feel looked out for by people who are far beyond the ether of computerland. I had thought it would be great just to have an evening of excellent physical stuff. I'm a pretty busy person too, so I'd take sex once a month with someone I'm really compatible with, then six months without....
I would like to keep it lighthearted, because there's nothing like heavy talk to weigh down stuff. That being said, I should probably say something first. Must think about that.
Thanks for asking. It is sort of inbetween the two. He has been getting some major issues straightened out, and knew that he needed to concentrate fully on that. He did step back and break up with me, but he continued to call on a regular basis. In a strange way, after a while he didn't seem to remember that he'd broken up with me, but neither did he have the time to get together - three yr old kid, new business, switched apts...and also if he sees me, he loses resolve pretty quickly. There's a very strong current between us. So there hasn't been any face to face contact.
Over the month, I didn't ask him for anything - just was an occasional sounding board - I had no idea if he wanted the relationship back or not.. then he made a few overtures that didn't pan out, but he made it clear that he missed me and was thinking of me as much as one can when one is totally preoccupied.
This week, when I mentioned I had a plumbing problem, he offered to come over and fix it, and also as I said, made it clear in a number of phone calls what he was hoping for. I know from experience that he doesn't do anything until he's ready, so my feeling is that he's ready now and the plumbing is his excuse. Whether this leads to another go at the relationship or not, I don't know, but either way, I'm just really excited that we'll have some personal time together, face to face and I want to make it magical for us both.
Hello All - So, I am seeing my leo after a three week absence. He has been very clear about what he hopes will happen the second he walks in the door. My question to the leo men and gals with leo men is.... Since I want to make this occasion VERY memorable, I would love some romantic suggestions on the best way to make an impact when he arrives. Lingerie? Lots of clothes he can rip off? Halloween costume? I want to blow his mind. He's leo rising with an aqua moon. Venus, mars etc.. all in leo.
Well -- After calling me most every day since the break-up, with differing degrees of concern, affability, had an asthma attack landed in the hospital for the night, hectic-I'm-busy-just checking in, jovial, etc... there was a three day silence (just when I'd decided not to ever answer the phone again if he called), and then suddenly today, he wants to come over on Sat and cook dinner for some mutual friends of ours that are coming in from out of town. I haven't seen him in almost three weeks. He was entirely solicitous, and sweet, in his gruff way. He has almost never come to my home in the four months we were together. His tone was very much like his boyfriend tone, and he said goodbye with a see you later gorgeous.
What's going on?
And how do I make sure, after the mini hell that this put me through, that it doesn't happen again. I know. I can't make sure, but seriously, I have a very clear feeling that he's hoping that I'll just 'forget' that he had a little collapse of the heart, and not say anything. I am not feeling very affectionately towards him, no matter how much I love him.
Thanks... and oh well - He broke up with me this morning - out of the blue. Said it was very painful, but he didn't have it in him for a relationship. Didn't want to see me. Told me he was loved me very much, but everything had 'suddenly changed' and getting his life on track was the most important thing. And yet, called a few hours later to laugh and joke with me about something immaterial. Everything feels quite topsy turvy and confused. He says I am perfect, wonderful, etc, and he's doing it for me because he's not the man to match me right now. Says he knows what potential we have, and how good we are together. Says he knows he needs my love, support etc... but just doesn't want to participate because he can't give back.
So yes, I suppose it is all about him. Probably for the best. I expect though that he expects me to be just as sweet to him as always, and as giving. I don't think I can do that.
Hey thanks for your comments. Run262, I know where you're coming from. Though I do receive a ton of appreciation from my leo, I have a much more free-flowing life style , and far fewer obligations. I've planned my life that way so I never have to get too stressed out.
He works til he drops. As a result, I always have to fit into his schedule, thus, he's always in control. That's the main problem. The love and feel good factor is huge though, for both of us.
Right now, we're still trying to find the time to have our 'talk' before our 'step back', but he's so busy, although he's got intentions toward it, he can't find the time.
Was there ever anything you could say that would stop your leo in his tracks and make him wake up and smell the coffee? At this point, I'd have to pay his hourly rate to get a minute with him.
I posted this on the Leo board, but I figure there may be some aries with valuable leo experience...so I'm posting here too.
Things have been going well with my leo - relationship almost 4 months old, and he has been steadily getting his life on track, dealing with ex, three yr old, getting his biz licensed and running - working like a one man factory.
Finally, over labor day, we were able to take a four day romantic vacay out of town, where he opened up like some kind of beautiful flower as soon as we got out of the city. Throughout the weekend he said all the sweet things about the future I wanted to hear. And many more I never expected... I didn't even have to open my mouth. He always has said sweet things... including 'I love you' the day we met, but these were far deeper, and very articulate.
A few days later he gave me keys to his place and tried hard to take an active role in being in my world, meeting friends, etc.. Due to his work/life/kid, its very hard for him to be free for this.
Then - last week, perhaps a week after all this, he started getting way busy again, and as a result way exhausted, and not really available, even when we were face to face. After not seeing him due to his work, we had one night together, (no sex -- he's been too tired). In the a.m., we had a tiff, and he bit my head off completely, disproportionately - asked for his keys back, and refused to talk about any of it. Would not see me, though continued to call every day, becoming less and less gruff, but still would not talk bout it.
Finally this morning over the phone, he told me that he needs to take a step back. That he needs the time to get his life together. He said it was extremely hard for him to say this to me, and hurt him a lot, and he doesn't want to cut me out of his life, but he knows its unfair to me otherwise. His obligations are legion. He's dealing with a very messy financial situation, and he just wants to work his ass off until he feels like he's got his butter together. He doesn't want to let me go, but he doesn't want me to have expectations he cannot realistically fulfill at this time - thus he can't be committed.
I definitely support him in the majority of this decision. And I do not want a different man. My question is... what's the best way to support someone through something like this. I know he loves me. But its very difficult for an aries to do anything in half measures. What can I realistically ask of him at the moment?
Hey Chocolate - since you were wondering - I did make that little flipbook, and gave it to him for his b.day. My face wasn't visible in any of them... it was hidden by my hair. He LOVED it so much!!!!! He still talks about it.