Kachi

Conditional love doesn't mean you love someone any less. It's the opposite.

Conditional love is acknowledging the fact that you love someone for specific reasons, flaws and all, where the feeling isn't given for just about anyone.

I don't believe in unconditional love because most of us have strong convictions towards other people but "flaws" may be similar with those in our circle.

I don't believe in unconditional love because most people, ie DXP, will not be as understanding of another person's situation. Unconditional love is the ability to understand and extend compassion towards other people outside your circle, whether in similar situation or not. You need to have love and some sort of understanding of what being human is, not just the person you find an attachment with.

How do you supposed to love, with no conditions, someone who abuses you and yet fail to see all those things you love in another person who abuses someone else?

Posted by Undine

Posted by GemiMay

Posted by einsthepisces

Posted by GemiMay

Posted by einsthepisces

Posted by GemiMay

Posted by einsthepisces

Posted by einsthepisces

Posted by GemiMay

Posted by einsthepisces
When you care so much about the other person, so much so that you no longer care about wealth, power, or even yourself, then there you'll find unconditional love.

Usually ITS not happen instanly, but by process untill theres connection and attachment.

If the only person that make you not lonely, gave you meaning in live, the only one who truly care about you and your existence is only your lover, would not you gave anything for him/her ?

I CAN…technically believe in this ferry tale scenario but one day you will want to eat so badly that you will become unable to stand this ANYMORE!
I had been there and I had helped and provided and understood and felt soft and sorry and tearful and found every excuse in the book and THE DAY came when I said - FUCK THAT BUM!!!

But nobody will believe that this can happen WHILE they are infatuated by that person…
It is like an illness…drug addiction…someone leading you blindfolded to the promise land…
But pray that this journey will end BEFORE there are small kids and other shit happening.

Because WE ALL KNOW but we CHOOSE to be stupid and we believe in shit that WE KNOW is t real but it’s shiny and sparkle and we want it!

Then logically that mean, you have an alternative meaning in live or in your existence and that is to keep yourself survive. I may say that is your primary meaning. And your love to your lover come second.

Don't worry though, its quite normal. Im not judging you. You have all the right to do it, to save yourself than to drown together with your lover.

I wish I knew your age and story so I can dissect it for you and exposed you as delusional person.
Will you dare to tell your story in new thread?
I don’t think so…

? Is "only" explaining logical possible condition in which someone might love another person unconditionally could be called delutional ?

Unless you catch them cheating on you and continue loving them or seeing them kicking your puppy and still admiring them etc. - it is NOT unconditional love and if you are - you are delusional or mental case. Yes.

Now now, We're not talking about "my experience or yours, We're talking about "unconditional love", whether ITS stupid mental etc, its still unconditional love when someone still love the other despite every bad thing or every bad condition or situation.

That’s the theory.
I said it is not happening in real life.
Can you prove me wrong by the example?

I could give you examples from my life. I continued to love these people I had a meaningful relationship with, in spite of the followings...

In chronological order, one point per person:

1) Lack of commitment to an exclusive relationship because "too young". On and off over the years, and dating other people in between.
2) Too much financial risk-taking on stock market, to the point of being reckless
3) Nit picking, not very attractive
4) Ghosted me to go back to his ex
5) Real narcissist with OCD who banished his mother and sister once for no reason.
6) Lying about important things
7) Nit picking, low EQ, anger issues

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What are your reasons for loving them?

Posted by GemiMay

Posted by Kachi

Posted by Enfant-Terrible-II

Posted by GemiMay
People throwing this term around like something real and I say - imagine love without conditions. Isn’t it saddest shit ever?
Nothing is done to person who love is supposed to make love go away.
Be an asshole - still loved??? No fucking way!

Loving unconditionally isn’t even true for children. If child is a molester or a piece of shit - I am sorry. Got to draw a line somewhere…

So what is your opinion on this myth?

I think it's more about the person you CAN unconditionally love, and not the concept itself.

I definitely have a person I love unconditionally flaws and all, but that's because I know she cannot hurt me no matter what cuz I get her and know where she's coming from. Only way I wouldn't love her unconditionally is if she literally became a completely different person with different personality,character,history, all things that made her her. But science fiction is not what we discussing here..

I dunno, either you've known it or you haven't...

That is conditional.

"but that's because I know she cannot hurt me no matter what cuz I get her and know where she's coming from."

We all have that soft spot for someone. It doesn't mean it's unconditional.

That’s what I pointed out and he had not replied yet.
He said he does love her unconditionally and then says he WOULD love her unconditionally IF she became an opposite to what she is…odd AF! But it’s him. Always the same. Strange and too ‘complex’ for his own good.

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I get it. Most people don't change but my thing is that, there's a control factor there. The conditions are met by predictability since he knows this person and can sympathize with her.

Posted by Findingbalance

Posted by Kachi

Posted by ImperfectStorm

Posted by Kachi

Posted by ImperfectStorm

Posted by Kachi
Life itself is conditional, so anything under that umbrella is bound to follow the same pattern.

I think this belief has religious origins which is manipulative at its core. It's the same as the teachings r/t forgiveness, regardless of the wrongdoing made to you.

True, life is conditional but you can continue to love someone even after death (if they’ve passed away) love is not confined by the same conditions as life is. I have not seen my mom since she passed away in 2009 but I don’t love her any less than I did back then. So no, love is not limited by the same conditions as life.

Was she a good mom?

Yea she was.. she was a fierce, protective mama bear. She was also an alcoholic and pill addict. Again, multi-faceted like the rest of us.

There has to be at least one good thing that outweighs everything and that one thing can be a current, most need by the receiver.

There aren't any exceptions where one can love unconditionally while another is incapable of it. It's all based on circumstances.

Well that's silly to point out. Of course there's one good thing. Complete, pure evil is rare and no one here is speaking of that. Most people are both dark and light. Yes some are more broken so darkness is greater. And a few, well, darkness is overwhelming. Some are the opposite, light is greater.

No one here is saying they love everyone unconditionally or that it should be universally applied. Simply that it does exist.

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It's not "silly". It's a mature discussion. I'm not convincing anyone of my POV. I'm respectfully stating it. So if you can't discuss in a proper manner, I don't want to interact with you.

It's not about pure evil or not. We have different thresholds but regardless there are still conditions that need to be met and that's as simple as being someone's parent or child.

Posted by Enfant-Terrible-II

Posted by GemiMay
People throwing this term around like something real and I say - imagine love without conditions. Isn’t it saddest shit ever?
Nothing is done to person who love is supposed to make love go away.
Be an asshole - still loved??? No fucking way!

Loving unconditionally isn’t even true for children. If child is a molester or a piece of shit - I am sorry. Got to draw a line somewhere…

So what is your opinion on this myth?

I think it's more about the person you CAN unconditionally love, and not the concept itself.

I definitely have a person I love unconditionally flaws and all, but that's because I know she cannot hurt me no matter what cuz I get her and know where she's coming from. Only way I wouldn't love her unconditionally is if she literally became a completely different person with different personality,character,history, all things that made her her. But science fiction is not what we discussing here..

I dunno, either you've known it or you haven't...

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That is conditional.

"but that's because I know she cannot hurt me no matter what cuz I get her and know where she's coming from."

We all have that soft spot for someone. It doesn't mean it's unconditional.

Posted by ImperfectStorm

Posted by Kachi

Posted by ImperfectStorm

Posted by Kachi

Posted by ImperfectStorm

Posted by Kachi
Life itself is conditional, so anything under that umbrella is bound to follow the same pattern.

I think this belief has religious origins which is manipulative at its core. It's the same as the teachings r/t forgiveness, regardless of the wrongdoing made to you.

True, life is conditional but you can continue to love someone even after death (if they’ve passed away) love is not confined by the same conditions as life is. I have not seen my mom since she passed away in 2009 but I don’t love her any less than I did back then. So no, love is not limited by the same conditions as life.

Was she a good mom?

Yea she was.. she was a fierce, protective mama bear. She was also an alcoholic and pill addict. Again, multi-faceted like the rest of us.

But she was still a good mom to you. She was a good parent despite her own struggles and even more commendable that she was capable to protect her child.

Other people don't have that. They could be abused or neglected by their own parent in that same circumstances.

There has to be at least one good thing that outweighs everything and that one thing can be a current, most need by the receiver.

There aren't any exceptions where one can love unconditionally while another is incapable of it. It's all based on circumstances.

There was a time when I was a kid that she passed out with a lit cigarette in her hand with spaghetti noodles boiling on the stove, or the time in my 20s when I got home from work and found her passed out in the bathtub and by the time I got to her, the bath water was cold and her teeth were chattering because she had been passed out so long. It was traumatic for me because she could have drowned. Then the time she stole the Vicodin out of my purse that were ordered for me after I had my wisdom teeth pulled.

There were definitely traumatizing moments when people would say that she failed as a mother. But she lost her own mom when she was only 17 so I’ve learned to look at both the bad and the good and love her as a whole person that was doing the best she could. After the bathtub incident I had to put her out (she was staying with me at the time because she was basically homeless). So again, unconditional love doesn’t mean that you have to be anyones doormat. It just means you don’t stop loving that person based on their behavior or performance.

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I didn't imply you were a doormat.

Where did I say that? I pointed out that there has to be at least one good thing that outweighs everything.

Your mom was protective of you, despite her own struggles.

Posted by Findingbalance

Posted by Kachi
Life itself is conditional, so anything under that umbrella is bound to follow the same pattern.

I think this belief has religious origins which is manipulative at its core. It's the same as the teachings r/t forgiveness, regardless of the wrongdoing made to you.

I doubt it's religious. I myself am spiritual but absolutely not religious. I have no problem with supporting others religious beliefs as long as they do no harm, but you're not gonna find me in church.

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Religious influence in society, regardless if you're religious or not.

We're also inclined to seek pleasure rather than pain ie staying in an unhealthy romantic relationship. I guess it's better to live in blissful daydreams rather than face the facts of reality. It's either we run or be on guard against pain.

A better question is, who do you love unconditionally?

Posted by ImperfectStorm

Posted by Kachi

Posted by ImperfectStorm

Posted by Kachi
Life itself is conditional, so anything under that umbrella is bound to follow the same pattern.

I think this belief has religious origins which is manipulative at its core. It's the same as the teachings r/t forgiveness, regardless of the wrongdoing made to you.

True, life is conditional but you can continue to love someone even after death (if they’ve passed away) love is not confined by the same conditions as life is. I have not seen my mom since she passed away in 2009 but I don’t love her any less than I did back then. So no, love is not limited by the same conditions as life.

Was she a good mom?

Yea she was.. she was a fierce, protective mama bear. She was also an alcoholic and pill addict. Again, multi-faceted like the rest of us.

click to expand

But she was still a good mom to you. She was a good parent despite her own struggles and even more commendable that she was capable to protect her child.

Other people don't have that. They could be abused or neglected by their own parent in that same circumstances.

There has to be at least one good thing that outweighs everything and that one thing can be a current, most need by the receiver.

There aren't any exceptions where one can love unconditionally while another is incapable of it. It's all based on circumstances.

Posted by ImperfectStorm

Posted by Kachi
Life itself is conditional, so anything under that umbrella is bound to follow the same pattern.

I think this belief has religious origins which is manipulative at its core. It's the same as the teachings r/t forgiveness, regardless of the wrongdoing made to you.

True, life is conditional but you can continue to love someone even after death (if they’ve passed away) love is not confined by the same conditions as life is. I have not seen my mom since she passed away in 2009 but I don’t love her any less than I did back then. So no, love is not limited by the same conditions as life.

click to expand

Was she a good mom?

Life itself is conditional, so anything under that umbrella is bound to follow the same pattern.

I think this belief has religious origins which is manipulative at its core. It's the same as the teachings r/t forgiveness, regardless of the wrongdoing made to you.