I've been very close to a Cancer guy with a Sag. moon for almost 15 years now. We're exes but on good terms.
What may be different about him because of the Sag moon:
*He's NOT a homebody! He can't stand to be at home or alone at ALL! He has to be around people at all times. *He likes to party and isn't shy. *He's confused about what he wants. While many Cancers want a home and family, he's 32 and does as well, but he also wants to live a bachelor life style at the same time. He keeps talking about wanting a wife and to settle down, but he can't really deal with it. He isn't that responsible with his home and life for that matter and doesn't want to give up going out, flirting, and trying to pick up other women. *He's sensitive, but only about himself and has no sense of empathy for anyone else. He will also show how sensitive he is(about himself, mind you) then get uncomfortable and totally deny that what happened/what was said ever took place. *Prefers to talk about things "in general." As in, if he has a relationship problem, instead of addressing it directly and talking about the problems with that specific person, he'll talk about certain "problems" in general. Which annoyed the heck out of me because you can't solve anything if everything is someone else's problem or just something in general.
Kitten, I've had very similar experiences with my own mother who's a Leo.
She too has had substance abuse problems. I also ended up taking care of her more than she took care of me. Every once in a while she would want to play the "mom" card to get things from me or tell me what to do. She would even try to keep other people from giving me things or doing things for me because she was jealous and wanted it for herself. It was really sad.
Now I'm 32 with children of my own. We get along better and she doesn't try to pull the same games that she did when I was younger. She's a lot nicer now because *she* needs *me*. She's nice with my kids but every once in a while I catch her trying to act the same negative way with them that she did with me. But unlike when I was growing up, MY kids have someone to protect them - me.
I'm sharing all of this to say - Yes it's lonely being your own mom, and being your mother's mom. It's difficult and not fair. You'll never stop wishing that your mom was your "mom" but you'll learn to find that nurturing and love from others who love you and are able to show you in the ways that she isn't.
And if you're anything like me, you'll value it even more because you'll know that they loved you enough to share with you what your mother couldn't.
"He freaks out if I get so emotional. You can see on his face he gets so uncomfortable"
That's my *CANCER* ex to a 'T'! He couldn't handle it if I got emotional or cried at ALL!
I don't cry a lot or get hysterical, but I can't help it if I get seriously worked up in a combination of angry/upset/sad/& frustrated at the same time. Tears just leak out of my face even though I might be able to keep my voice calm. lol
He would actually get angry or leave the room if I cried! One time I cried on the phone and he hung up on me! Now THAT is cold! And Cancers are supposed to be soo in tune with emotions while Virgos are "cold"?!?!?
"You look pretty normal to me .. crazy being normal, that is " lol. Thanks. I consider "crazy" to be "normal" too. If someone seems too "normal" I get worried. And scared.
"Pisces in your 5th house .. how beautiful that is, really .. to love somebody for their inequities, instead of their virtues is rare. Looks to me why you're not a shallow person "In Love" .. however, I'm not an expert at deciphering."
Oh, is that what that means? The way you put it is very accurate for how I tend to love and appreciate people. You might not be an expert but that was spot on.
Your husband's placements look "normal" "crazy" too. Hmmm, I wonder how that combination of the Aries moon & Cancer Venus affects him? Pisces in the 7th house too. Awww....
Sun Virgo 0?52'27 in house 10 direct Moon Aries 2?02'05 in house 5 direct Mercury Virgo 21?03'23 in house 11 direct Venus Virgo 5?25'03 in house 10 retrograde Mars Gemini 5?54'46 in house 7 direct Jupiter Aries 24?32'35 in house 6 retrograde Saturn Cancer 27?30'49 in house 9 direct Uranus Libra 29?21'22 in house 12 direct Neptune Sagittarius 9?01'30 in house 2 stationary Pluto Libra 7?41'28 in house 11 direct True Node Scorpio 25?35'58 in house 1 retrograde
Ascendant Scorpio 9?25'03 2nd House Sagittarius 8?24'20 3rd House Capricorn 11?42'49 Imum Coeli Aquarius 17?12'03 5th House Pisces 19?56'58 6th House Aries 17?11'57 Descendant Taurus 9?25'03 8th House Gemini 8?24'20 9th House Cancer 11?42'49 Medium Coeli Leo 17?12'03 11th House Virgo 19?56'58 12th House Libra 17?11'57
So am I just a little crazy or completely gone like I think I am?
My best female friends have been Sagittarius and Aquarius - but I'm pretty sure I wouldn't get involved with the men I know of those signs. I agree totally with kielbasa about Aquarians as friends - great for superficial hanging out or an occasional deep conversation, but nothing more than that. My Sag best friend was/is the best of both worlds - fun to hang out with, sweet, and loyal. But all the Sag men I've known were total players. Not interested in that at ALL!
My best male friend right now is a Cancer ex, but we're horrible together as a couple! I probably wouldn't be with another Cancer if I could help it.
I've never understood the idea of a Cancer guy who's supposed to be this soft, shy guy.
Every Cancer guy I've known has been a serious flirt. And they all deny it and just say that they're "friendly". But then if I was as "friendly" with guys as they were with girls they'd have a fit! lol
If by "protecting himself" you mean he's making sure he has back-up women in case things don't work out with you two, then I'd say yes. They seem to have a need for an inordinate amount of female attention(maybe it's the "mommy" thing that astrologers talk about?). So even if they're committed and monogamous, they still need a stand by to run to if things go south.
Not sure if that helped. I'm sure there will be Cancers in here any minute telling you that he's just sensitive, friendly, and scared because of how much he loves you. lol
My son isn't a Cancer, but he's a Taurus with a Cancer moon and he acts **very** "Cancer-ish". He's very affectionate and clingy. Follows me everywhere still - and he's 8. Still wants to sleep in my bed sometimes if I'll let him, still follows me to see where I'm going even if I'm just going to the bathroom, etc. Yes, he's also very moody. Sometimes he wants to be close and sit rightnextome, other times he wants to be in his room, left alone and if you bother him he has a fit. lol
But he's helped me to be a lot more easy going about dealing with other people's moods(not internalize them or take them personal) and has helped me to become even more affectionate than I was before. He also needs a lot of attention and encouragement.
While the stereotype is of Virgos being "critical", I was always more critical of myself than anyone else. However, with my son I've learned how much further you can get with someone by being positive and encouraging. Instead of pointing out a flaw, I'll encourage it's opposite and it's much healthier and more positive for all of my relationships, not just my relationship with my son.
Hope that helped.
P.S. Don't worry about how things will be with your daughter. Our children have a way of training *us* instead of the other way around. You'll be surprised at how well you'll adapt to her.
There are a few Cancers in my life that I love dearly and if anyone ever did ANYTHING to hurt them I would be on a kill mission, but there are things that bug me.
The main thing does have to do with emotions. I'm emotional myself, but I find that the Cancers in my life seem to feel that their emotions are above, stronger, and more important than anyone else's emotions.
That what **they** feel is more important and needs to be protected more than anyone else's feelings. That double standard bugs the heck out of me.
My Cancer ex tries to be macho and deny his emotions and pretends like nothing bothers him on one hand, then on the other hand he'll expect others to tiptoe around him because everything might hurt his widdle feewings. But his partner's feelings can be trampled over or ignored outright. Ugh. Like they can be very sensitive, but the only feelings they're sensitive to are their own.
I also have a Cancer girl friend who has tried in vain to impose her wishes onto an Aries ex of hers and tries to use guilt on him, but his feelings or wishes don't matter. Only hers. They'd probably still be together(he's loyal as well) but her selfishness and controlling nature in that area pushed him away.
On the positive side though, their loyalty to family is unmatched. I have a child with my Cancer ex and if I or even if anyone in my family needed *anything* I know I could ask him. I wouldn't abuse his kindness or take advantage of it and I think it probably goes a long way to how we are such good friends now.
"At the same time, I'm not going to hang my head in shame because I became "His sex toy. A willing replacement for his hand." and allowed my expectations to get out of hand."
The only reason I said it that way was because you were taking a victim's stance and portraying yourself as having been possibly screwed over by a "dirty rat bastard." Like he was wrong for what he did when the 2 of you engaged in mutually consensual sex without a relationship or any strings. Also I hoped my crude wording would help to break that dream spell so you could see things for what they were, not what you dreamed them to be.
If you had truly only wanted sex then being his sex toy, etc. wouldn't be a thought. He'd be yours.
I can understand your ego being hurt, but the reason why it was hurt wasn't what he said or how he said it.
It was that you're own actions were shown to you without any buffering.
You're not his girlfriend, companion, or lover. You're his treetrunkbuddy. His sex toy. A willing replacement for his hand.
Your ego wants you to believe that you're more to him, but in reality you aren't.
You wanted to live in a dream world where this guy comes to your rescue by falling madly in love with you just because you agreed to treetrunk him raw for a couple of weeks. He'll realize just how important you are to him and how he doesn't know how he lived without you for so long....
But his willingness to hook up with other women and address you as his treetrunkbuddy is shattering the dream world that you've already set up in your head about how it's "supposed" to be.
You might have feelings for him, but your feelings are delusional at best.
I'm sincerely hoping that you can get help because from what you're sharing here, you're in a very unhealthy state.
P.S. You're in pain and hurting because the ***ONE*** person in this world who should love you and treat you like gold is throwing you at men that you don't really know, putting your health at risk for some casual sex, and getting caught up emotionally in a situation where you're just being used as a sex object.
"I know straight up that what I did was pretty treetrunking psycho in terms of pretending to be someone I'm not online, setting a guy up to meet someone, etc. Definitely crazy stupid. Not one of my brighter moments and I am genuinely humiliated."
What you did was not really necessary seeing as how you two are only having sex and it's only been a couple of weeks. Just not worth the effort.
"And his behavior? He is sending out my photo to strangers online. We are having sex without condoms on the understanding that neither of us is sleeping around. In our online chat we're talking about having a threesome but he neglects to mention that he is in the middle of emailing someone to join us."
First of all - You're a grown woman, so you should really know better than to be intimate without protection just because you've been sleeping together for a couple of weeks and the guy "says" he isn't sleeping around with anyone else! I would stop that immediately and run and get tested! ***THAT*** is crazy behaviour! Setting up the 3some "sting" is not as crazy as risking your life for some sex.
Second - This guy shouldn't have your pic and he sure as heck shouldn't be sending it to someone else.
Finally - You're self destructing yourself! You're making yourself crazy and risking your own life for some sex!
I'd end this "thing" right away, go get tested for STDs, and go see a counselor. You're expecting honesty and monogamy from a purely sexual "relationship" and putting yourself at risk for this same "relationship." I don't know what's going on in your life, but what you're doing isn't healthy.
High, HIGH expectations. You two are just hooking up and having sex. There really shouldn't be any expectations at ALL on him to be monogamous, be honest, or not try to hook up with other women online for 3somes.
At this point, your only expectation should be for him to show up with a hard on(and hopefully, a condom).