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LethalFantasia
joined April 24, 2018
  • Posted by HeavyEntertainmentShow
    Posted by LethalFantasia
    You are sooo brave for sharing this and he is a nice dude for admitting what he admitted. He obviously respects you very much and realizes how much you love him for him to admit that, most people would just take advantage.

    I'm not sure what kind of advice to give since I have never been in a situation like this? I just think that when you're both ready maybe it's time to move on? I think sometimes you have to let people go so they can think back a year or two from now and realize how great they had it.


    A fire needs a space to burn, a breath to build a glow
    I've heard it said a thousand times but now I know
    'Cause finding what you got sometimes means finding it alone
    And you can finally see my light when I let go
    'Cause you don't know what you've got
    Until it's gone




    Yeah the assault was almost like a blessing in disguise, gave us the opportunity to take a breather. Gotta make the best out of every situation. Let's see if distance really makes the heart grow fonder, and if he realized what he's got.
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    Hoping for the best for you. I know this sucks. You will be okay no matter what x
  • Posted by nanobot
    I was on my period when that orca story came out, the week and the updates.... I just cried so much over it. I couldn't deal. I doubt this is what you are talking about.

    LOL!
  • But you don't know why? It's not like something bad happened it's just you feel like that for no reason?

    Anyone experience this or know why this happens? For me it's been going on for like 1-2 months? It is so weird.
  • This is such a sad song! And many of my friends I grew up with, looking back would relate soo much to this song. And people slut-shame without thinking deeper. We live in a sad, tragic world.
  • lol cute
  • HES is actually a very, very nice person and a sweetheart. He just attacks people who attacks him, or from what I've read anyway. I usually don't go reading the 8 long page threads. But he is a good fella, just a fighter at heart.
  • Posted by Smidge
    Posted by LethalFantasia
    Posted by Smidge
    Posted by LethalFantasia
    Posted by Smidge
    That's like my worst nightmare

    What is??


    Sharing a diary entry

    Oh meh, just go through the easiest ones. But if not, understandable. I re-read some of this stuff and it's like "oh OK I can post this" and then it gets worst lol.


    Do you have any funny diary entries?
    Sometimes I make jokes for my future self.
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    Lol I wish! It even took me a while to post these ones... Mines are creepy and weird
  • Posted by Smidge
    Posted by LethalFantasia
    Posted by Smidge
    That's like my worst nightmare

    What is??


    Sharing a diary entry
    click to expand

    Oh meh, just go through the easiest ones. But if not, understandable. I re-read some of this stuff and it's like "oh OK I can post this" and then it gets worst lol.
  • Posted by Smidge
    That's like my worst nightmare

    What is??
  • 2014-11-30 08:39:58
    Originally posted: 2014-11-30 08:45:02 (UTC)
    The real me is fun and happy
    Every now and then, something comes over me, and for 30-40 seconds or however long, I get this feeling, this "glimpse" of the old me and how I used to be... Where all the paranoia, the anxiety and the depression stops and it's just the old Mark. I was really funny, really crazy (in a good way), spontaneous, charismatic, out-going, loving and just a really amazing person... Sure I was a little gossipy, maybe rude sometimes and not a very deep person, but I was always in the moment for the most part and free. And when I get the feeling back of how I used to be, it's like oh my God, night and day from the person I am today. I am not surprised I had so many friends and close bonds and people who genuinely loved me. I could get along with a fricking grandmother or a middle aged woman I gossiped with at some bus stop. It's insane to think about.

    The person who I am deep down, my spirit, my soul - is an entertainer, a funny, goofy, happy guy. I've just been tainted by life and forced to deal with things that I ran from. I don't know, I just had an "ah-hah" moment and wanted to talk to myself about it... LOL.
  • And don't judge others Devil

    2015-01-22 02:47:02
    Originally posted: 2015-01-22 03:19:26 (UTC)
    The Concept of Death & The After-Life
    So I'm just sitting here and thinking about death, the after-life and how tragic the concept of it all truly is. It is just so unbelievably... Like I don't even know. I can't even put it into words... The depth of it all.

    I'm a very intuitive person. And I'm a seeker. I like to study the world, study religions, the Universe, etc and I'm pretty sure that the concept of Christianity and the Bible is the most accurate possibility about what we're doing here and were we're going as human-beings. To the average person I'd sound like a complete nutcase, but the average person hasn't studied the world, hasn't studied the Bible, hasn't payed attention to what's going on and how things truly operate here on Earth. There is an UNDENIABLE amount of evidence that the "Illuminati," or secret societies, do in fact exist and they do control the world. When you look at the unnecessary, harmful ingredients that is put in our food, vaccinations, water, medications, etc it is so obvious that we are purposely being harmed. When you look at some of the symbolism's television and the mainstream media uses, and you research those symbols and trace them back to where they originated from, it is very clear what type of message these people are sending out... Even the internet. It's like, you can't even create an email, you can't even join YouTube, you can't do anything on the computer without having to give out your phone number for "confirmation" or "your protection"... Or without having to ALLOW Google Plus to link up with whatever account you have. Why? Because the government is stalking us. It is so creepy and freaking scary to think about. Plus all the camera's in the streelights, all the camera's everywhere, being monitored on the internet, your iPhone or electronic devices having tracking devices in them...

    The Bible has LITERALLY predicted every thing that's going on today. It is impossible for it to be false. IMPOSSIBLE. Even as a sinner, I remember numerous times, praying to God in COMPLETE despair and getting this overwhelming sensation of relief, like something or someone is comforting and protecting me. I remember at one point breaking down in the shower, balling my eyes out, saying to God I could not go on with this addiction anymore, I could not go on feeling this paranoia and awkwardness anymore... After I came out of the shower, that was the day I was put on a path to recovery and overcame my addiction.

    But anyway... Knowing that the Bible is real and it's the closest thing we have to anything on this earth that explains life and what we're about, it's insane to think about Hell. These thoughts have haunted me my entire childhood, from a super, super young age but I didn't have the intellectualism to really "see it" for what it is. I felt doomed and haunted thinking about going to Hell for being gay, but it's not something I could prove, I just "knew" it was true... And now that I can say it and really SEE that it's a real thing, it's like, a "wow." Like I was right. Life isn't all rainbows and sunshine, we're not all going to die and reborn or we're not all going to heaven and it's kind of like a scary movie with a horrible ending. It kind of reminds me of the first Saw movie, where you think the guy is finally going to crawl out in the end, and that creepy guy comes and locks the door on him and the lights go out and the victim finally realizes it's over... He's staying in here. He's going to die in there. It was like this horrible dose of reality set in we're you realize, this isn't going to be a happy ending. This is reality. And that's how I feel about life.

    I just think of like all the amazing people who have died. You can tell they were great people with good hearts, maybe they struggled with some stuff, but overall they were good people... They were someone's mother, someone's sister, someone's lover... They cared deeply and loved other people... And because they weren't "saved" or true Christians, they are burning and suffering in the worst amount of physical and emotional pain a person can ever imagine right now... In Hell. And they are never, ever, ever getting out. They will be tormented and suffering for ALL of eternity. Forever. That is such a treetrunked up, creepy and sad reality to accept and to think about.

    I love my family and they're not perfect, but they are good people. We love so hard and we're such passionate people and to think... If one of us died and went to Hell, I honestly do not KNOW how I could go on. NO ONE in my family is a true, genuine Christian. NO ONE... So I know they would be going to Hell, and I know Hell is real so HOW DO I go on? I couldn't. I could never live, I could never be free and do whatever, knowing that someone I really love and care about is burning in Hell at that very moment and knows they will never get out. It is like, oh my God.

    And then I think about the kids who were tormented and bullied into suicide. Or the people who were abused, fell into an addiction and ended up over-dosing or killing themselves. Or the people who in some shape or form, were HURT in life and horrifically bruised, and they either ended their lives or something tragic happened... And these people ended up going to Hell. Like oh my God... They went through complete despair and horrific experiences on Earth, or something happened that wasn't their fault that led them down a dark road, or whatever the case - and then they died or took their own lives and now they're suffering even more in the pits of Hell for all of eternity. It is such a horrific thing to think about.

    Honestly, that is the one thing I probably will never be able to truly understand about God. God see's everything and He knows everything. He can see your heart, He can tell you were wounded so you ended up going down a dark road, He knows your "story" and why things turned out the way they did... And just because you didn't become saved, He allows you to be tormented in Hell forever? I could never, ever, ever have the heart to do that. I just couldn't. I don't know what I would do in God's shoes, but I couldn't send someone to eternal torment, especially if they were led down a road because of horrific circumstances in their lives that were out of their control. It is insane to think about.

    Ugh, anyway, I wanted to get this off of my chest because I'm just sitting here and thinking about all of this... Thinking about things that most people don't even really think about. I feel like everyone is so caught up in the moment or just "going, going, going" that it's like... Wait. What? It's almost like their hypnotized. I think people just need to stop and really think about life and were we're going or why we are here and what the treetrunk is happening. Life is so mysterious and such a strange thing... No one really, truly, 110% knows what happens after we die or any of this stuff... Only the people who are dead. But it's not like they can come back and tell us.

    I honestly do not know how I'm going to deal with death of loved one's as I continue to get older. I can not imagine anyone I love dying, knowing that I don't know were they are going, if they really are in Hell, or whatever... But the worst part is knowing that I will never, ever, ever, ever get to see them or talk to them again. That is a really, really tough pill to swallow. Some people are emotionless treetrunking bleeps who lose loved one's and they are "over it" after a while, or it doesn't really effect them... But me, I take it as such a serious, serious thing that I honestly don't know if I could ever overcome it.
  • Agreed. And it's basically proven that if you throw it up, it doesn't all come out. It's so weird. Anyway, super intrigued by this topic lol.
  • You are sooo brave for sharing this and he is a nice dude for admitting what he admitted. He obviously respects you very much and realizes how much you love him for him to admit that, most people would just take advantage.

    I'm not sure what kind of advice to give since I have never been in a situation like this? I just think that when you're both ready maybe it's time to move on? I think sometimes you have to let people go so they can think back a year or two from now and realize how great they had it.
  • Hmm, so I read somewhere that people who have bulimia only ever actually get 20% of the food out of their bodies when they throw up? Do you guys think this is true? How that even possible when most bulimics throw up right away? Sorry for this controversia   Read more
  • Someday I will understand in God's whole plan and what he's done to me Tongue
  • Posted by Arielle83
    Posted by LethalFantasia
    Posted by Arielle83
    Posted by LethalFantasia
    I also loveeee Drew Barrymore. Some people may disagree with me on this but gosh she is so cute and adorbs and her personality and laugh is contagious. She is #wife material.


    My guy friends say I remind them of her cuz I’m all goofy.


    i like Winona Ryder still

    Lol you're hotter then Drew Tongue

    And Winona Ryder? Oh my gosh I haven't heard of her in ages. Hope she is good. I should google her lol


    Winona was my first crush cuz of Mermaids and Heathers
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    I liked her in Mr. Deeds!! She was so cute in that movie lol
  • Posted by Arielle83
    Posted by LethalFantasia
    I also loveeee Drew Barrymore. Some people may disagree with me on this but gosh she is so cute and adorbs and her personality and laugh is contagious. She is #wife material.


    My guy friends say I remind them of her cuz I’m all goofy.


    i like Winona Ryder still
    click to expand

    Lol you're hotter then Drew Tongue

    And Winona Ryder? Oh my gosh I haven't heard of her in ages. Hope she is good. I should google her lol
  • Well this is awkward... I am usually a very pleasant person... I am holding myself together lol. But wow.