CanSagCap

And yes, I guess I have already made my mind up. While I am not here looking for absolution from random people on the internet, I guess I needed to just let this out in some medium with people who do not know me, just for its own sake.

Thank you LunarMaiden (we share the same birthdate). I think the advice about keeping a distance is great.

On anything else, easy as it is to point fingers (I know I probably would have too, sitting on the other side of this), coming from someone who avoids conflict at all costs, walking away from this situation would have been the most easy out for me (something I have done once before with another one of my same sister's guys who randomly professed their undying love for me one evening). My knee-jerk reaction would have been to run and not even look back. Anyone who knows me would have expected it, hell, I have been known to run away for much less. Somehow, for some reason, I chose to stick around in this one and warped as it looks from the outside, when we shut out everything happening outside, I am really happy.

I am not staying wth this guy to be spiteful to my sister- deep down I hope we get to resolve this with time; strained as our relationship has been, I do want the best for her, always. I have no reason to believe that he is doing this out of spite or revenge for her either, he has shared some pretty dark secrets that torment him on a daily basis, and frankly, based on that situation, he does not have any reason to be spiteful towards my sister either.

I am chucking this to the fact that the world is not perfect, we all have an idea of what we would do, lines we will not cross, and then the world comes in and pulls a fast one on you and you suddenly realize that everything you believed in is coming to question...

I will end my random internet musings right here and thank all those who contributed (and/or judged) Here's to hoping I figure out what's the best for everyone in this situation.

Wow.

Well, I did say objective.

So I promise I would make this short yet share enough info so that you amazing people can help me.

So, I am sitting in my (virtual) corner minding my own business and in walks this guy that i have know my whole life. We have been talking casually through the years and we both have found each other intellectually interesting. Only this time, he decides to mention that he finds me interesting and would like to pursue that to see what happens. Before he goes any further he mentions that a year ago he ran into my older sister and they had a few drinks and ended up at his place. He shares that they have not seen each other since but he was under the impression that my sister expected more out of the incident as she tried to pursue it but he was sure that it was not something he wanted. Said he wanted me to know this outright before anything happens so that we can both objectively choose whether to do this or not.

We continue talking for about 4 weeks- no sex, just a lot of great conversation. After 4 weeks we decide that we want to take this further, but I wanted to first talk to my sister, which he supported. I informed my sister and that is when all hell broke loose. Quick back story: I have always had a challenging relationship with my sister. It started out as innocent sibling rivalry cultivated by our parents and ballooned into an unhealthy competitive adult relationship. Like him, she's in her early 30s and I am close behind in my late 20s; she feels like I have always been 'lucky' and that it is not fair. Of course I have my own opinion on that (it's called hard work) an example being that even though she is really really smart-and was given better opportunities than all of my siblings, she chose not to finish college, while I struggled and got my graduate degree some years back. Anyway, she blew up (beyond my expectation) when I told her and went on to say that she has had feelings for him her whole life, called my mum to complain about it- the works! My mum kind of took my side because sadly, my sister has a tendency to throw tantrums when she doesn't get her way.

So, Scorpio and I managed to push through all that crazy going on in the background and have gone on and slept together, met each other's friends and very recently I saw his mother (whom I have remained quite close to and she loves me to bits) in the capacity as his girlfriend and she does not seem supportive about this. The main reason she gives is that Scorpio would be breaking up the relationship between my sister and I

So understandably, the situation is strained, I have reached a point where I am emotionally exhausted with all the hoops I am jumping. I love him and he loves me and I would like to believe we both have sensible heads on our shoulders. We are about 10 weeks in but we are both quite certain (as certain as anyone can be) that this is a relationship that we both want to pursue. I wanted an objective opinion, given the facts, what would you do in my shoes

Posted by Chuckcem

Posted by enfant_terrible
He's compensating publicly for something that isn't there privately?

Agreed, he is showing off and showing you off to boost his ego. When it's the two of you, he has less reason to do that because he doesn't feel the need to mark his territory (there's no potential threat). Be direct with him about that. Let him know that the sex is great (compliments are always an easy way to get Leos to do what you want), but let him know you want more romance when you two are alone. Tell him you want to SEE all that stuff he brags about in public (say this gently and get close. Seduce him and even grab him certain areas to drive the point home). You'll have his undivided attention. Let him know in public that he doesn't need to show off in front of his friends (though that may just be him) because he's already won. In fact the next time you're out with his friends, start boasting about him to other people (even if it's a little). He'll feel more secure and won't need to put on the theatrics as much.

All that being said, don't suck up to him. Keep your spine and be a woman he can respect. Letting him know your thoughts and feelings about him and what he can improve is a good start. Just be nice about it.

click to expand

This (and everything said bybother posters) is really helpful. I had to pause for a moment because you have an IDENTICAL planetary placement with him Chuckcem-from the planets you have on your profile.

I have not been the best of what he needed through the years, he has largely seen my Sag side and I keep getting the feeling that he questions whether I feel he would be enough ...

Cancer sun (but I think it's my Sag rising answering this' LOTS AND LOTS of mind blowing can't-walk-straight-on-monday sex!

Known Leo for 10+ years, dated on and off but now we are both in the space to make it work. Both are single.

Issue: he is all possessive when around people especially around his closest friends; very hands-y and says things like 'she won't marry anyone else but me'. But then this changes when it is just us 2. We would be intimate but he would be distant... It is less about love and more about sex. I have no problem with sex, in fact I love sex but I'm at a point where I would like something more and it would great to know what this is all about.

Thanks for the responses.

While I am a textbook Cancer in some regard, I am also quite (positively?) affected by my Sag rising when it comes to how I OUTWARDLY portray my feelings- the carefree, don't want to be strung along attitude. But I have been quite honest with him- about how I feel about him, especially in the last year.

I am very practical at how I approach everything in my life- including romantic relationships (at least now I am). After a few rounds of crazy whirlwind sweep-me-off-my-feet-then-knock-me-flat-on-my-face romances, I now safely exercise caution before I begin anything. So yes, I am prepared to walk away, which does not mean I do not love him, it just means my bullbutter-tolerance quotient has been severely depleted by the last 2 relationships I had.

HE mentioned exclusivity, and babies and hints of 'settling down'. So, it would be weird that he changes his mind so abruptly.

Honestly, I am used to this passive aggressiveness from Libras.

But after reading posts here and some discussions on Youtube, I am starting to think it's a 'Dump Leos' month. And besides, could this just be a mercury retrograde thing, having sizzling-but-fizzling blasts from the past?

It would be a loss to end this, and gosh the sex is oh so good! You freaky Leos you!

Hey everyone, I just realized that I have managed to break my Libra streak. After having to run in the opposite direction from them for a while. Which brings me to why I am here today; I have a Leo guy that I have known for over a decade. We met when we were both teenagers and then dated- he was more into me than I was into him but that was fine by him. We went on and off over the last 12 years, each dating other people until last year. Through this whole time he has ALWAYS been by my side when I was going through stuff, like the death of my dad- where he was with me night and day. Last year I had another crisis where he crawled out of the woodwork and was at my side. This time, maybe due to grief, we actually went a step further and slept together- we never had, he had never even seen me naked!

After this, we casually slept together pretty much every chance we got. I then realized that I was developing stronger feelings for him but did not say anything as he had just started going out with some else. We remained friends and I casually dated 2 other people between then and now. Fast forward late last year, he broke up with his girl and my connections fizzled... and for the first time we were both free. Trouble started at this point when I realized that one of the guys I had been 'casually dating' (read: sleeping with) was a close friend, not only that, there were going to spend a lot of time together. And the way I found out meant he (the other guy) also had to know. The next time I met Leo, i told him everything, and while he seemed a little spaced out for a bit, the rest of the evening went ok.

Fast forward to Jan, he recently invited me to his place for a party- where the other guy was there with his new gf. And Leo was EXTREMELY posessive. I am used to his posessiveness but this was more than usual. I am talking him wanting to kiss in front of anyone (I am not a PDA person and he knows it), openly telling me not to sit next to this other guy-because he doesn't trust him around me. We ended up going to my place where he slept till the next day. He openly claimed that he was 'peeing around me to mark his territory'. A couple of days that followed we talked regularly on the phone, sharing videos and links, talking about life partnerships and kids- all just casually.

Then out of nowhere a conversation we had been having- hinting at going exclusive, turned into him saying he now doesn't trust women because the last girlfriend he had cheated with a business partner. And that he wasn't looking to have a relationship.

This is not a problem for me, I am truly open to turning round and walking away- even thought that might be tough to do. My concern is whether this is a reaction to finding out about the friend thing, and/or whether this is something that he would ever get over? I am not beyond moving on, but with 13 years in, I would want to be sure. Anyone with suggestions on how I approach this (and him) I would appreciate it.

*sigh* For as long as I have known, I have always seriously contemplated the possibility that I have multiple personalities (not seriously) because I have always had these 2 personas. As I read on astrology more and more I am starting to question whether it is the sun/asce/moon (moon=cap) combination that is causing all this chaos. I am sag dominant especially in public but then I suffer (especially when i wind my day at home) from crazy mood swings where I question all the choices I had made- be it what I said, how i said it or THAT I said it- when I am alone.

It's like a fight between one side that would like to see more quiet and another that sees no problem with my being outgoing and sometime 'they' quarrel!!! I call myself an extroverted introvert because that's how it feels. Is this something other people have experienced? Can this be explained by astrology or should I book my appointment already?

Posted by Lust
Oh Pleeeaaazee, you are the one who gets crazy way too easy by libra.

Here is the proof: you can always back out now that you know he is a libra. But of course you choose to follow up and cling to it. I know I know, it's not easy to turn away from Libra's charm. He will break your hearth I can tell you right now.

Well, I will take that one. I was just fascinated by how I can be around THIS many Libra guys in a span of a year. Yes, it is not easy to turn away from the Libra charm (when they choose to be charming) at least if you find yourself already knee deep in it (I managed to escape twice in the last 6 months) but this one got me. Blergh!

Anyway, part of the reason I have not yet run from this one (I am very much more Sag than I am cancer, I tend to, when it matters, make the decision to go or stay using my head) is that I do think he is a great dude. He's 41, i am 27 (almost), has 2 kids, and he is a great father. So, mature and not pressured to get married and have kids (which I am not sure i want, at least not quite yet). He also is not scared of me, which has been a HUGE challenge for me, I have been told I intimidate guys, quite often. This one is not the least bit phased. So yeah, the sag in me approves.

Aaaand, we're back.

I have been find posts here super useful, especially on mimicking the Libra man's behaviour but there are a couple of things I still find confusing. There were a few days that we both went in heavy, talking ALL day in some form: Whatsapp, Skype, Phone, SMS. And then this was followed by a moment of absolute silence from him, which sort of irked me a little but i learned to get over it. He kept coming back after I 'ignored' him back and apologized for doing this and then as soon as he hangs up, the silent treatment resumes.

However, i keep getting the feeling that he WANTS me to notice the silence, and that he WANTS me to chase after him, because i keep getting a vibe that he is at least slightly annoyed that I am still having a great time (with other people) even without his (constant)communication. So which is it, pull back or CHASE???

*confused*

So, one: he's alive. Two: he called me right after I wrote the message above, apologizing for scaring me like that. He had left one of his phones at home. Since then things have 'progressed' beautifully. Still not sure about the Libra thing but willing to see where this leads me, hopefully not to another post on here.

On my venus, mine's in Cancer. Which is not the most compatible I would think.

Same here. Which is the main reason I started this thread. This month positively, absolutely, undeniably and reliably SUCKS!

Was just wondering whether it was just me.

And I don't know. I never wrote back since yesterday. I should know by tomorrow morning, we are required to be on Skype if we are signed in at our desks. If I don't see him on then he's either sick or in a ditch somewhere. Otherwise, I will 'see him' signed in.

Not funny

I really was avoiding them after my last shenanigan (not) with the last Libra in my life. This one literally sneaked in, found me at a time in my life when I could really use a shoulder (which happens like NEVER, I was dumped once for 'being too independent' ). Which is weird because he also told me I caught him off guard. We both were not really searching.

Oh geez! I am still searching for the reason behind all this Libra-ness.